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Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 24th 04, 02:53 PM
Victor Martinez
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Default Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!

Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!
by John Kelso - Austin-American Statesman

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Here's your story: "Man bites Boston terrier, ruins pants."

Former City Council Member Louise Epstein was walking her West Highland
white terrier, Mr. Nickers, Sunday afternoon outside her Northwest Hills
home when the trouble started.

A wicked commotion was coming from her neighbor's xeriscaping, where two
loose dogs were attacking Louise's 14-year-old cat, Mrs. Buster. A
little 15-pound Boston terrier named Piglet had the cat's head in his
mouth. On the back end of the fight, a 40-pound mutt with perhaps a dash
of pit bull in her was pulling the cat's leg out of its socket.

This was a job for Superman. Make that Boston Terrier Man.

"My cat was being drawn and quartered," Louise recalled. So she began
screaming. So here came her action figure/financial planner husband,
John Henry McDonald, 56, flying out of the house to put a liplock on
that little black and white Beantown dog. To Louise, John Henry looked
like a human highlight film.

"He just ran out of the house, khakis and all, and threw himself like he
was catching a football that was about to hit the ground," Louise said.
"He just dove on top of that pile. He threw himself on that twisting,
screaming (pile of) different furs and sunk his teeth in the back of
that dog's neck."

The dog wasn't hurt. The cat is recovering at the vet's. John Henry got
bit on the hand. "It ruined my khakis. Blood everywhere," he said.

John Henry and the cat are now on the same antibiotics. The offending
dogs are both locked up at the pound.

I can hear it now from the other dogs at the pound. Other dogs: "What
are you in for?" Boston terrier: "Nailing a financial planner."

Louise found the incident out of character for her bow tie-wearing
husband. "You've got to know what a clotheshorse John Henry is," she
said. "When his car was in a flood, people asked what kind of shoes he
was wearing."

But on this day, John Henry was ready to mix it up. The Boston terrier
clearly was no match. He was "a small dog, I'd say about a foot high,
short-legged," said Ron Sherman, a neighbor.

It all happened so fast. "It's the old 'man bites dog,' " John Henry
recalled. "That's all there is to it. I was thinking, 'What could I do
to get the dog off the cat?' So I thought I'd bite the dog, and that's
what I did. I think it confused him. He let go of the cat." The larger
dog was no problem. She left the fight when John Henry arrived.

On Monday, the Boston terrier was being quarantined for biting John
Henry. Shouldn't John Henry be quarantined? What if he gives the Boston
terrier rabies?

So what does neck of Boston terrier taste like? "Chicken," John Henry said.

John Henry picked the back of the dog's neck to bite because it was
"handy." There were probably other handy parts of the dog, too, but
you'd have to close your eyes before you bit them.

John Henry went to the Seton Northwest emergency room to get his hand
bite treated. When word got around that he'd bitten a dog, that led to a
smart remark. "Everybody wants to be a comedian," John Henry said.
"There was this tech. 'Hey, Cujo,' he called me."

He is a little worried about his image. "All of a sudden I'm terrorizing
this terrier," said John Henry, who has a company called Austin Asset
Management Co. "I can see it now. '******* financial planner bites
little puppy.' "

Louise said John Henry was pretty riled up when he saw her cat's head in
the Boston terrier's mouth. "The only reason he didn't kill that dog
instantly is, our friends just got a Boston terrier, and he thought it
was their dog, and it wasn't," she said. "That's the only reason he
didn't keep on chewin'. I guess this explains why he eats whatever I
give him."

So what's the proper attire for biting a dog? "I was wearing my
dog-fighting outfit, as a matter of fact," John Henry said. "It was a
white shirt, a blue cardigan sweater, nicely matched, the khakis and the
saddle shoes," he said.

John Henry said the key to his success is that he bit the right dog. "If
you have a choice between biting the pit bull and the Boston terrier,
bite the Boston terrier," he said. Unless there's a Chihuahua.

--
Victor Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

  #2  
Old February 24th 04, 05:39 PM
dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers
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I loved it!

Cheers, helen s


--This is an invalid email address to avoid spam--
to get correct one remove dependency on fame & fortune
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  #3  
Old February 24th 04, 07:21 PM
m. L. Briggs
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Default

On Tue, 24 Feb 2004 13:53:22 GMT, Victor Martinez
wrote:

Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!
by John Kelso - Austin-American Statesman

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Here's your story: "Man bites Boston terrier, ruins pants."

Former City Council Member Louise Epstein was walking her West Highland
white terrier, Mr. Nickers, Sunday afternoon outside her Northwest Hills
home when the trouble started.

A wicked commotion was coming from her neighbor's xeriscaping, where two
loose dogs were attacking Louise's 14-year-old cat, Mrs. Buster. A
little 15-pound Boston terrier named Piglet had the cat's head in his
mouth. On the back end of the fight, a 40-pound mutt with perhaps a dash
of pit bull in her was pulling the cat's leg out of its socket.

This was a job for Superman. Make that Boston Terrier Man.

"My cat was being drawn and quartered," Louise recalled. So she began
screaming. So here came her action figure/financial planner husband,
John Henry McDonald, 56, flying out of the house to put a liplock on
that little black and white Beantown dog. To Louise, John Henry looked
like a human highlight film.

"He just ran out of the house, khakis and all, and threw himself like he
was catching a football that was about to hit the ground," Louise said.
"He just dove on top of that pile. He threw himself on that twisting,
screaming (pile of) different furs and sunk his teeth in the back of
that dog's neck."

The dog wasn't hurt. The cat is recovering at the vet's. John Henry got
bit on the hand. "It ruined my khakis. Blood everywhere," he said.

John Henry and the cat are now on the same antibiotics. The offending
dogs are both locked up at the pound.

I can hear it now from the other dogs at the pound. Other dogs: "What
are you in for?" Boston terrier: "Nailing a financial planner."

Louise found the incident out of character for her bow tie-wearing
husband. "You've got to know what a clotheshorse John Henry is," she
said. "When his car was in a flood, people asked what kind of shoes he
was wearing."

But on this day, John Henry was ready to mix it up. The Boston terrier
clearly was no match. He was "a small dog, I'd say about a foot high,
short-legged," said Ron Sherman, a neighbor.

It all happened so fast. "It's the old 'man bites dog,' " John Henry
recalled. "That's all there is to it. I was thinking, 'What could I do
to get the dog off the cat?' So I thought I'd bite the dog, and that's
what I did. I think it confused him. He let go of the cat." The larger
dog was no problem. She left the fight when John Henry arrived.

On Monday, the Boston terrier was being quarantined for biting John
Henry. Shouldn't John Henry be quarantined? What if he gives the Boston
terrier rabies?

So what does neck of Boston terrier taste like? "Chicken," John Henry said.

John Henry picked the back of the dog's neck to bite because it was
"handy." There were probably other handy parts of the dog, too, but
you'd have to close your eyes before you bit them.

John Henry went to the Seton Northwest emergency room to get his hand
bite treated. When word got around that he'd bitten a dog, that led to a
smart remark. "Everybody wants to be a comedian," John Henry said.
"There was this tech. 'Hey, Cujo,' he called me."

He is a little worried about his image. "All of a sudden I'm terrorizing
this terrier," said John Henry, who has a company called Austin Asset
Management Co. "I can see it now. '******* financial planner bites
little puppy.' "

Louise said John Henry was pretty riled up when he saw her cat's head in
the Boston terrier's mouth. "The only reason he didn't kill that dog
instantly is, our friends just got a Boston terrier, and he thought it
was their dog, and it wasn't," she said. "That's the only reason he
didn't keep on chewin'. I guess this explains why he eats whatever I
give him."

So what's the proper attire for biting a dog? "I was wearing my
dog-fighting outfit, as a matter of fact," John Henry said. "It was a
white shirt, a blue cardigan sweater, nicely matched, the khakis and the
saddle shoes," he said.

John Henry said the key to his success is that he bit the right dog. "If
you have a choice between biting the pit bull and the Boston terrier,
bite the Boston terrier," he said. Unless there's a Chihuahua


My hero!
  #4  
Old February 24th 04, 08:33 PM
Hopitus2
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

ROFL...it's nice to know that rain doesn't cancel the fun in
Austin.....they're sweating Mardi Gras in the BigEasy right now because of
the downpours you share.....gracia, Victor.

"m. L. Briggs" wrote in message
...
: On Tue, 24 Feb 2004 13:53:22 GMT, Victor Martinez
: wrote:
:
: Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!
: by John Kelso - Austin-American Statesman
:
: Tuesday, February 24, 2004
:
: Here's your story: "Man bites Boston terrier, ruins pants."
:
: Former City Council Member Louise Epstein was walking her West Highland
: white terrier, Mr. Nickers, Sunday afternoon outside her Northwest Hills
: home when the trouble started.
:
: A wicked commotion was coming from her neighbor's xeriscaping, where two
: loose dogs were attacking Louise's 14-year-old cat, Mrs. Buster. A
: little 15-pound Boston terrier named Piglet had the cat's head in his
: mouth. On the back end of the fight, a 40-pound mutt with perhaps a dash
: of pit bull in her was pulling the cat's leg out of its socket.
:
: This was a job for Superman. Make that Boston Terrier Man.
:
: "My cat was being drawn and quartered," Louise recalled. So she began
: screaming. So here came her action figure/financial planner husband,
: John Henry McDonald, 56, flying out of the house to put a liplock on
: that little black and white Beantown dog. To Louise, John Henry looked
: like a human highlight film.
:
: "He just ran out of the house, khakis and all, and threw himself like he
: was catching a football that was about to hit the ground," Louise said.
: "He just dove on top of that pile. He threw himself on that twisting,
: screaming (pile of) different furs and sunk his teeth in the back of
: that dog's neck."
:
: The dog wasn't hurt. The cat is recovering at the vet's. John Henry got
: bit on the hand. "It ruined my khakis. Blood everywhere," he said.
:
: John Henry and the cat are now on the same antibiotics. The offending
: dogs are both locked up at the pound.
:
: I can hear it now from the other dogs at the pound. Other dogs: "What
: are you in for?" Boston terrier: "Nailing a financial planner."
:
: Louise found the incident out of character for her bow tie-wearing
: husband. "You've got to know what a clotheshorse John Henry is," she
: said. "When his car was in a flood, people asked what kind of shoes he
: was wearing."
:
: But on this day, John Henry was ready to mix it up. The Boston terrier
: clearly was no match. He was "a small dog, I'd say about a foot high,
: short-legged," said Ron Sherman, a neighbor.
:
: It all happened so fast. "It's the old 'man bites dog,' " John Henry
: recalled. "That's all there is to it. I was thinking, 'What could I do
: to get the dog off the cat?' So I thought I'd bite the dog, and that's
: what I did. I think it confused him. He let go of the cat." The larger
: dog was no problem. She left the fight when John Henry arrived.
:
: On Monday, the Boston terrier was being quarantined for biting John
: Henry. Shouldn't John Henry be quarantined? What if he gives the Boston
: terrier rabies?
:
: So what does neck of Boston terrier taste like? "Chicken," John Henry
said.
:
: John Henry picked the back of the dog's neck to bite because it was
: "handy." There were probably other handy parts of the dog, too, but
: you'd have to close your eyes before you bit them.
:
: John Henry went to the Seton Northwest emergency room to get his hand
: bite treated. When word got around that he'd bitten a dog, that led to a
: smart remark. "Everybody wants to be a comedian," John Henry said.
: "There was this tech. 'Hey, Cujo,' he called me."
:
: He is a little worried about his image. "All of a sudden I'm terrorizing
: this terrier," said John Henry, who has a company called Austin Asset
: Management Co. "I can see it now. '******* financial planner bites
: little puppy.' "
:
: Louise said John Henry was pretty riled up when he saw her cat's head in
: the Boston terrier's mouth. "The only reason he didn't kill that dog
: instantly is, our friends just got a Boston terrier, and he thought it
: was their dog, and it wasn't," she said. "That's the only reason he
: didn't keep on chewin'. I guess this explains why he eats whatever I
: give him."
:
: So what's the proper attire for biting a dog? "I was wearing my
: dog-fighting outfit, as a matter of fact," John Henry said. "It was a
: white shirt, a blue cardigan sweater, nicely matched, the khakis and the
: saddle shoes," he said.
:
: John Henry said the key to his success is that he bit the right dog. "If
: you have a choice between biting the pit bull and the Boston terrier,
: bite the Boston terrier," he said. Unless there's a Chihuahua
:
: My hero!


  #5  
Old February 25th 04, 03:37 AM
Brian Tucker
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

My siamese cats over the years have always had upper hand with dogs.
Years ago I had a siamese named April and she totally terrorized a
friend's young lab. When my friend would come over and bring the lab in
the house, April would go and get in about the 3rd shelf of bookshelf.
When the dog crossed the room, it would drop down on its belly and crawl
on floor til it got passed the bookshelf and then it would get back on
its feet again.

When I was in an apartment complex in AZ, I had my siamese outside for
a walk. They were on leashes, complex rules. A neighbor had one of those
dogs that are close to ground and lots of curly hair, look kinda like a
dust mop, if you know what I mean. Anyway apparently she was down at
back of building and had let him go. He came around corner of building
and saw Serena and Sonscere' and ran towards them growling and barking.
I let go of their leashes as I thought they would be better off if I
wasn't holding them. Well, Sonscere' did the discretion better part of
valor, routine and ran back around corner of building and just peeked
around corner to watch show. The dog slowed as it got to Serena and me
and put his nose up against hers. They touched noses for a second and
then he lunged at Serena. That's all she needed, she jumped on his back
and dug in. Dog freaked and got off sidewalk and was floundering in
dirt and big tufts of white curly hair began to fly threw the air, by
that time, the dog's owner got there and we separated the animals. I
held Serena for minute and then put her back on ground and she tried
lunging at dog again, intent on driving him away. It was all pretty
funny actually. Serena to this day will drive every dog she sees.

My photo albums
http://public.fotki.com/Sonscere/

"IIt's not love that causes the pain
Whenever a heart has been shattered,
It's the losing of love that's to blame." VG

  #6  
Old February 24th 04, 08:52 PM
Marina
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Posts: n/a
Default


"Victor Martinez" wrote
Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!


ROFL! What a hero! Thanks for posting that, Victor.

--
Marina, Frank and Nikki
Email marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi
Pics at http://uk.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/frankiennikki
  #7  
Old February 24th 04, 11:54 PM
Steve Touchstone
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Posts: n/a
Default

On Tue, 24 Feb 2004 13:53:22 GMT, Victor Martinez
wrote:

snip
John Henry said the key to his success is that he bit the right dog. "If
you have a choice between biting the pit bull and the Boston terrier,
bite the Boston terrier," he said. Unless there's a Chihuahua.


ROTFL
--
Steve Touchstone,
faithful servant of Sammy, Little Bit and Rocky

[remove Junk for email]
Home Page:
http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/index.html
Cat Pix: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/animals.html
  #8  
Old February 25th 04, 01:08 AM
Jeanette
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Default


Victor Martinez wrote in message
...
Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!
by John Kelso - Austin-American Statesman


Thank you


  #9  
Old February 25th 04, 02:49 AM
Yoj
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

ROTFLOL!

--
Joy

Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.


"Victor Martinez" wrote in message
...
Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!
by John Kelso - Austin-American Statesman

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Here's your story: "Man bites Boston terrier, ruins pants."

Former City Council Member Louise Epstein was walking her West

Highland
white terrier, Mr. Nickers, Sunday afternoon outside her Northwest

Hills
home when the trouble started.

A wicked commotion was coming from her neighbor's xeriscaping, where

two
loose dogs were attacking Louise's 14-year-old cat, Mrs. Buster. A
little 15-pound Boston terrier named Piglet had the cat's head in his
mouth. On the back end of the fight, a 40-pound mutt with perhaps a

dash
of pit bull in her was pulling the cat's leg out of its socket.

This was a job for Superman. Make that Boston Terrier Man.

"My cat was being drawn and quartered," Louise recalled. So she began
screaming. So here came her action figure/financial planner husband,
John Henry McDonald, 56, flying out of the house to put a liplock on
that little black and white Beantown dog. To Louise, John Henry looked
like a human highlight film.

"He just ran out of the house, khakis and all, and threw himself like

he
was catching a football that was about to hit the ground," Louise

said.
"He just dove on top of that pile. He threw himself on that twisting,
screaming (pile of) different furs and sunk his teeth in the back of
that dog's neck."

The dog wasn't hurt. The cat is recovering at the vet's. John Henry

got
bit on the hand. "It ruined my khakis. Blood everywhere," he said.

John Henry and the cat are now on the same antibiotics. The offending
dogs are both locked up at the pound.

I can hear it now from the other dogs at the pound. Other dogs: "What
are you in for?" Boston terrier: "Nailing a financial planner."

Louise found the incident out of character for her bow tie-wearing
husband. "You've got to know what a clotheshorse John Henry is," she
said. "When his car was in a flood, people asked what kind of shoes he
was wearing."

But on this day, John Henry was ready to mix it up. The Boston terrier
clearly was no match. He was "a small dog, I'd say about a foot high,
short-legged," said Ron Sherman, a neighbor.

It all happened so fast. "It's the old 'man bites dog,' " John Henry
recalled. "That's all there is to it. I was thinking, 'What could I do
to get the dog off the cat?' So I thought I'd bite the dog, and that's
what I did. I think it confused him. He let go of the cat." The larger
dog was no problem. She left the fight when John Henry arrived.

On Monday, the Boston terrier was being quarantined for biting John
Henry. Shouldn't John Henry be quarantined? What if he gives the

Boston
terrier rabies?

So what does neck of Boston terrier taste like? "Chicken," John Henry

said.

John Henry picked the back of the dog's neck to bite because it was
"handy." There were probably other handy parts of the dog, too, but
you'd have to close your eyes before you bit them.

John Henry went to the Seton Northwest emergency room to get his hand
bite treated. When word got around that he'd bitten a dog, that led to

a
smart remark. "Everybody wants to be a comedian," John Henry said.
"There was this tech. 'Hey, Cujo,' he called me."

He is a little worried about his image. "All of a sudden I'm

terrorizing
this terrier," said John Henry, who has a company called Austin Asset
Management Co. "I can see it now. '******* financial planner bites
little puppy.' "

Louise said John Henry was pretty riled up when he saw her cat's head

in
the Boston terrier's mouth. "The only reason he didn't kill that dog
instantly is, our friends just got a Boston terrier, and he thought it
was their dog, and it wasn't," she said. "That's the only reason he
didn't keep on chewin'. I guess this explains why he eats whatever I
give him."

So what's the proper attire for biting a dog? "I was wearing my
dog-fighting outfit, as a matter of fact," John Henry said. "It was a
white shirt, a blue cardigan sweater, nicely matched, the khakis and

the
saddle shoes," he said.

John Henry said the key to his success is that he bit the right dog.

"If
you have a choice between biting the pit bull and the Boston terrier,
bite the Boston terrier," he said. Unless there's a Chihuahua.

--
Victor Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he



 




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