Latest on Brandy

Howard Berkowitz wrote:

Relatives that had been present took me to task for being "unemotional"
and dealing with her "like a normal person." While I had no illusions
of cure at this point, I also upset them because I didn't want to wail
about the (non-imminent) end.

Oy - they were telling you how to *feel*??

Somebody always has an agenda. If you're calm, someone will think you're
unemotional. If you're upset, someone else will say you're hysterical
and can't be trusted to make important decisions. Sounds like your
response was quite reasonable to me, and probably a big relief to your
mother, who was no doubt dreading a bad reaction from you.

Sort of appropriately for this group, I did have to face some decisions
on how aggressive to be with certain treatments. It's a different
situation with an at least partially competent human than even the most
closely bonded cat.

And this was all before those issues (about how much to tell a patient,
when to "pull the plug", and so on) were even discussed in our society.
Since that time there have been books, news stories, films, tv shows,
etc, addressing this issue, so that there's some kind of framework from
which to think about it. Not that it's any easier emotionally when you're
faced with it, but at least people have a chance to consider the issue
hypothetically, because it's no longer a taboo subject. You had to chart
those waters pretty much on your own, while under a lot of stress.

I felt I had to present the options to her, and she elected to go for
the last treatment. I was very careful to let it be her decision, and I
still don't know if I should have given her my opinion -- which was to
accept the known gentle death, rather than what would likely be a long
and fruitless struggle.

Apparently she preferred to struggle, and hang on to her hope to survive.
In many situations, that amount of will to live could make the difference
between surviving or not. You can't judge your decisions based on the
outcome, because you have no way of knowing what the outcome will be. You
can only make the best decision you can, given the information you have at
the time - and later, you can evaluate your reasons for making the choices
you made, regardless of how it turned out. And it sounds like your decision
was based on respect for her right to have control over her treatment - a
very noble and loving impulse.

Joyce

Howard Berkowitz wrote:

Relatives that had been present took me to task for being "unemotional"
and dealing with her "like a normal person." While I had no illusions
of cure at this point, I also upset them because I didn't want to wail
about the (non-imminent) end.

Oy - they were telling you how to *feel*??

Somebody always has an agenda. If you're calm, someone will think you're
unemotional. If you're upset, someone else will say you're hysterical
and can't be trusted to make important decisions. Sounds like your
response was quite reasonable to me, and probably a big relief to your
mother, who was no doubt dreading a bad reaction from you.

Sort of appropriately for this group, I did have to face some decisions
on how aggressive to be with certain treatments. It's a different
situation with an at least partially competent human than even the most
closely bonded cat.

And this was all before those issues (about how much to tell a patient,
when to "pull the plug", and so on) were even discussed in our society.
Since that time there have been books, news stories, films, tv shows,
etc, addressing this issue, so that there's some kind of framework from
which to think about it. Not that it's any easier emotionally when you're
faced with it, but at least people have a chance to consider the issue
hypothetically, because it's no longer a taboo subject. You had to chart
those waters pretty much on your own, while under a lot of stress.

I felt I had to present the options to her, and she elected to go for
the last treatment. I was very careful to let it be her decision, and I
still don't know if I should have given her my opinion -- which was to
accept the known gentle death, rather than what would likely be a long
and fruitless struggle.

Apparently she preferred to struggle, and hang on to her hope to survive.
In many situations, that amount of will to live could make the difference
between surviving or not. You can't judge your decisions based on the
outcome, because you have no way of knowing what the outcome will be. You
can only make the best decision you can, given the information you have at
the time - and later, you can evaluate your reasons for making the choices
you made, regardless of how it turned out. And it sounds like your decision
was based on respect for her right to have control over her treatment - a
very noble and loving impulse.

Joyce

"Marina" wrote in message
...

"Singh" wrote
I never understood, why such stigma? Nobody says jack if you tell them
you're
diabetic, or have epilepsy. But say bipolar and people actually back
away,
like they can catch the damn thing. I believe it is genetic myself; my
natural mother probably had it, and Louie's parents show symptoms of
clinical
depression, which Louie also has. I was once asked not to take my
medicine
at
work because some considered my disorder "offensive." I told the boss
right
off: "I have been sitting here for a month listening to four pregnant
women
give color commentary on their morning sickness, and you people consider
a
lousy handfull of pills offensive?" That put the kibosh on any more such
talk!

At my former job, there were some who did not want me to take my insulin
shots at work. Not even in the ladies' room! It wasn't as if I was going
to
inject right before their eyes, even. shakes head Yes, I was injecting
insulin just to annoy them. Right.I understand being queasy about
needles -
I'm a bit queasy about them myself, though have had insulin injected
several
times a day since I was five years old, but that was a bit thick.

--

On our last trip, at a Casino in Cherokee, North Carolina I saw my first
sharps container in a public restroom. It seemed like such an incredibly
good idea that I can't even imagine why they aren't everywhere.

I don't know if this is a coming new thing or part of the ongoing Diabetes
assistance and education in the area. (There is an extremely high incidence
of diabetes in at least that group of Cherokee indians)

Jo

"Marina" wrote in message
...

"Singh" wrote
I never understood, why such stigma? Nobody says jack if you tell them
you're
diabetic, or have epilepsy. But say bipolar and people actually back
away,
like they can catch the damn thing. I believe it is genetic myself; my
natural mother probably had it, and Louie's parents show symptoms of
clinical
depression, which Louie also has. I was once asked not to take my
medicine
at
work because some considered my disorder "offensive." I told the boss
right
off: "I have been sitting here for a month listening to four pregnant
women
give color commentary on their morning sickness, and you people consider
a
lousy handfull of pills offensive?" That put the kibosh on any more such
talk!

At my former job, there were some who did not want me to take my insulin
shots at work. Not even in the ladies' room! It wasn't as if I was going
to
inject right before their eyes, even. shakes head Yes, I was injecting
insulin just to annoy them. Right.I understand being queasy about
needles -
I'm a bit queasy about them myself, though have had insulin injected
several
times a day since I was five years old, but that was a bit thick.

--

On our last trip, at a Casino in Cherokee, North Carolina I saw my first
sharps container in a public restroom. It seemed like such an incredibly
good idea that I can't even imagine why they aren't everywhere.

I don't know if this is a coming new thing or part of the ongoing Diabetes
assistance and education in the area. (There is an extremely high incidence
of diabetes in at least that group of Cherokee indians)

Jo

"Marina" wrote in message
...

"Singh" wrote
I never understood, why such stigma? Nobody says jack if you tell them
you're
diabetic, or have epilepsy. But say bipolar and people actually back
away,
like they can catch the damn thing. I believe it is genetic myself; my
natural mother probably had it, and Louie's parents show symptoms of
clinical
depression, which Louie also has. I was once asked not to take my
medicine
at
work because some considered my disorder "offensive." I told the boss
right
off: "I have been sitting here for a month listening to four pregnant
women
give color commentary on their morning sickness, and you people consider
a
lousy handfull of pills offensive?" That put the kibosh on any more such
talk!

At my former job, there were some who did not want me to take my insulin
shots at work. Not even in the ladies' room! It wasn't as if I was going
to
inject right before their eyes, even. shakes head Yes, I was injecting
insulin just to annoy them. Right.I understand being queasy about
needles -
I'm a bit queasy about them myself, though have had insulin injected
several
times a day since I was five years old, but that was a bit thick.

--

On our last trip, at a Casino in Cherokee, North Carolina I saw my first
sharps container in a public restroom. It seemed like such an incredibly
good idea that I can't even imagine why they aren't everywhere.

I don't know if this is a coming new thing or part of the ongoing Diabetes
assistance and education in the area. (There is an extremely high incidence
of diabetes in at least that group of Cherokee indians)

Jo

In article . net, Tanada
wrote:



CatNipped wrote:


No problem Tweed, it takes a while to get all us characters here straight
(we tend to be equally weird, which is what makes this group so nice
to be
part of).



I'm not weird, I'm extremely strange.


Unique is a good word.
Suz
Macmoosette
Thank Heavens There's Only One
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=



Waiting for inspiration. Please hold while I contemplate my navel.

|\__/|
(=':'=)
(")_(")

In article . net, Tanada
wrote:



CatNipped wrote:


No problem Tweed, it takes a while to get all us characters here straight
(we tend to be equally weird, which is what makes this group so nice
to be
part of).



I'm not weird, I'm extremely strange.


Unique is a good word.
Suz
Macmoosette
Thank Heavens There's Only One
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=



Waiting for inspiration. Please hold while I contemplate my navel.

|\__/|
(=':'=)
(")_(")

In article . net, Tanada
wrote:



CatNipped wrote:


No problem Tweed, it takes a while to get all us characters here straight
(we tend to be equally weird, which is what makes this group so nice
to be
part of).



I'm not weird, I'm extremely strange.


Unique is a good word.
Suz
Macmoosette
Thank Heavens There's Only One
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=



Waiting for inspiration. Please hold while I contemplate my navel.

|\__/|
(=':'=)
(")_(")

SUQKRT wrote:

In article . net, Tanada
wrote:



CatNipped wrote:


No problem Tweed, it takes a while to get all us characters here straight
(we tend to be equally weird, which is what makes this group so nice

to be

part of).



I'm not weird, I'm extremely strange.



Unique is a good word.
Suz
Macmoosette


My cats are very good at niquing up on their prey...

Pam S.

SUQKRT wrote:

In article . net, Tanada
wrote:



CatNipped wrote:


No problem Tweed, it takes a while to get all us characters here straight
(we tend to be equally weird, which is what makes this group so nice

to be

part of).



I'm not weird, I'm extremely strange.



Unique is a good word.
Suz
Macmoosette


My cats are very good at niquing up on their prey...

Pam S.