Apparently my father has died

Christina Websell wrote:
I learned from one of the skiptracers at work that my adoptive father,
Miroslaw, has died.
respectfully snipped
Oh, my dear girl.
I didn't get my clothes ripped off but my stepfather ruined my life. Damn
him that he died of an aneureisym (sp) before I could put a red hot poker
up his a***. as an adult.

First of all, thank you, and everyone else, for all your kind, supportive,
positive words. And thank you, Tweed, for calling to mind the story I'm about
to tell...

I put a mousetrap in where I kept my clothes and he got
his fingers trapped in it. Yes, I really did at that at 11. Now why this
man would want to do this except to say that your child from a previous
relationship is going to.become a problem - I didn't understood at that
time.

My old man did similar things to me, but they were scary as all hell. Like
Mike used to come into my bedroom after I was sleeping, shine a light in my
face, and tell me to stand at attention for "Inspection." This was like your
drawer business, and it included unmentionable punishments, many of which
were fetishistic in nature and belong in psychiatric journals rather than
this friendly board. I suspect it had something to do with Nazi flashbacks.

All of you who have kids reading, or sensitive males, may wish to turn their
attention to something like CSPAN.com or something...

In high school a friend and I cut class and hitchhiked the 30 miles or so
into Buffalo and went to all the weird shops, including this joke shop that
sold itching powder. The stuff ithces because it's less a powder and more of
a pile of very fine fiberglass splinters, brick-red in color (this one brand
anyway) and has an easy time getting quite under the skin.

Mike was working late when we got back, as was often the case then. We had
these old-style doors that open with the kind of big heavy keys you expect to
see on hundred-year old homes like ours, and we used a one-size-fits-all
skeleton key to go to Mike's room to pilfer some grain alcohol. Mike and
Frances slept in separate rooms as long as I could remember, just what you
expect from a green-card marriage. He had crates of PA Grain, given him by
his client in Pennsylvania, and if his stash went missing by a bottle he
never commented. We also discovered another stash: magazines of a positively
filthy nature, and a vibrating device with a special sleeve that pays
particular attention to an area generally covered with more than one layer of
clothing. We swabbed some vaseline into the attachment and sprinkled some of
the itching powder--originally intended for the boys' locker room--and found
they nearly matched in color.

Two days later Mike was walking about like he had a plank keeping his knees
apart, and was very delicate about sitting, and getting up and kneeling in
church. He dared not mention why.

Blessed be,
Baha

--
Message posted via http://www.catkb.com

Baha wrote:

, and a vibrating device with a special sleeve that pays
particular attention to an area generally covered with more than one layer of
clothing. We swabbed some vaseline into the attachment and sprinkled some of
the itching powder--originally intended for the boys' locker room--and found
they nearly matched in color.

Two days later Mike was walking about like he had a plank keeping his knees
apart, and was very delicate about sitting, and getting up and kneeling in
church. He dared not mention why.


ROFLOL!!!! That needed a beverage warning!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

--
Message posted via http://www.catkb.com

wrote in message
...
Christina Websell wrote:

I didn't get my clothes ripped off but my stepfather ruined my life.
Damn
him that he died of an aneureisym (sp) before I could put a red hot
poker
up his a***. as an adult.

[snip]

I was a bit norty, I put a mousetrap in where I kept my clothes and he
got
his fingers trapped in it. Yes, I really did at that at 11.

Hee hee, he deserved that! I do not consider that naughty on your part.


Except that I didn't realise the implications of what I did. I didn't
realise that my mother would suffer for it.
She left him when I was 15 with a 4 yo and 2 yo old in tow. My grandfather
bought us a tumbledown house to live in with his legacy from his father. He
did it very begrudgingly but my grandmother insisted on it. He still
charged us rent though.
I remember it well, the day we left home. My mother had planned it and
waited until the house my grandfather bought was ready. While my stepfather
was at work we moved with only the furniture that "belonged to us originally
" and when he got home - there we were - gone.. as they say.

It wasn't much of a house. Only a cold tap above the one sink, outside
toilet, no bathroom, but how happy we were to be free of him. I had to
leave school then and go out to work to bring some money in. My teachers
weren't best pleased, they said I had a great future and should go to
university but it wasn't an option. 15 is really too young to go out to
work.

Tweed

"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
...
Christina Websell wrote:

I didn't get my clothes ripped off but my stepfather ruined my life.
Damn
him that he died of an aneureisym (sp) before I could put a red hot
poker
up his a***. as an adult.

[snip]

I was a bit norty, I put a mousetrap in where I kept my clothes and he
got
his fingers trapped in it. Yes, I really did at that at 11.

Hee hee, he deserved that! I do not consider that naughty on your part.


Except that I didn't realise the implications of what I did. I didn't
realise that my mother would suffer for it.
She left him when I was 15 with a 4 yo and 2 yo old in tow. My
grandfather bought us a tumbledown house to live in with his legacy from
his father. He did it very begrudgingly but my grandmother insisted on
it. He still charged us rent though.
I remember it well, the day we left home. My mother had planned it and
waited until the house my grandfather bought was ready. While my
stepfather was at work we moved with only the furniture that "belonged to
us originally " and when he got home - there we were - gone.. as they
say.

It wasn't much of a house. Only a cold tap above the one sink, outside
toilet, no bathroom, but how happy we were to be free of him. I had to
leave school then and go out to work to bring some money in. My teachers
weren't best pleased, they said I had a great future and should go to
university but it wasn't an option. 15 is really too young to go out to
work.

Tweed

{{{{{{{{{{Tweed}}}}}}}}}}

I know exactly how your family felt. After I finally got the courage to
kick out my abusive, alcoholic ex, we had to survive on my $8,000/year
(GROSS) salary - my ex was making $60,000 at the time - a fortune in 1978 -
but he paid not a dime of child support and even took the children off his
medical insurance! My children and I often went for weeks eating just
peanut butter on stale bread. But we'd all of us much rather eat that than
eat steak with him sitting at the table! Freedom from terror and abuse is
worth *ANY* price!

I am *SO* sorry, however, that you had to take on that responsibility at
that age - no child should have to grow up that fast!

Hugs,

CatNipped

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
...
Christina Websell wrote:

I didn't get my clothes ripped off but my stepfather ruined my life.
Damn
him that he died of an aneureisym (sp) before I could put a red hot
poker
up his a***. as an adult.

[snip]

I was a bit norty, I put a mousetrap in where I kept my clothes and
he got
his fingers trapped in it. Yes, I really did at that at 11.

Hee hee, he deserved that! I do not consider that naughty on your part.


Except that I didn't realise the implications of what I did. I didn't
realise that my mother would suffer for it.
She left him when I was 15 with a 4 yo and 2 yo old in tow. My
grandfather bought us a tumbledown house to live in with his legacy from
his father. He did it very begrudgingly but my grandmother insisted on
it. He still charged us rent though.
I remember it well, the day we left home. My mother had planned it and
waited until the house my grandfather bought was ready. While my
stepfather was at work we moved with only the furniture that "belonged to
us originally " and when he got home - there we were - gone.. as they
say.

It wasn't much of a house. Only a cold tap above the one sink, outside
toilet, no bathroom, but how happy we were to be free of him. I had to
leave school then and go out to work to bring some money in. My teachers
weren't best pleased, they said I had a great future and should go to
university but it wasn't an option. 15 is really too young to go out
to work.

Tweed

{{{{{{{{{{Tweed}}}}}}}}}}

I know exactly how your family felt. After I finally got the courage to
kick out my abusive, alcoholic ex, we had to survive on my $8,000/year
(GROSS) salary - my ex was making $60,000 at the time - a fortune in
1978 - but he paid not a dime of child support and even took the children
off his medical insurance! My children and I often went for weeks eating
just peanut butter on stale bread. But we'd all of us much rather eat
that than eat steak with him sitting at the table! Freedom from terror
and abuse is worth *ANY* price!

I am *SO* sorry, however, that you had to take on that responsibility at
that age - no child should have to grow up that fast!



I was stupid enough to take on an alcoholic husband after that. Hey. I
could reform him. Not.
I spent years fighting him for my house when I eventually threw him out and
I won it in the end and paid him off.
Ever have another partner to live with me in this house? Absolutely not. I
would not risk it. It's mine now, I've paid off the mortgage, it's for me,
the cats and the poultry. For ever or at least until I die.
Then my brothers will get a surprise. They are both so annoyed that I've
got in contact with my other half-siblings that they hardly speak to me now.
There is only one reason for it. They think it will affect their
inheritance.
I thought they would be happy for me. They are not. I am older than them,
I have a paid-off house and a bit of land. They are now afraid that when I
die it will be split between all my new siblings.
I have news for them since they do not bother to support me at all. Far too
busy.
My house and land will be left to a wildlife hospital. My brothers will get
a thousand pounds each (if I have it at the time)
They should have been better to me when our mother died. They were told
very firmly to look after their sister. They haven't. They've forgotten how
I taught them to read before they went to school and what an advantage it
gave them.
They are too busy now to bother to phone me except every couple of months.
I could be dead on the floor by then and only if I didn't turn up for work
for a few days would my neglectful brothers be alerted.

Tweed











CatNipped

"Christina Websell"

I was stupid enough to take on an alcoholic husband after that.
Hey. I could reform him. Not.
I spent years fighting him for my house when I eventually threw him
out and I won it in the end and paid him off.
Ever have another partner to live with me in this house? Absolutely
not. I would not risk it. It's mine now, I've paid off the
mortgage, it's for me, the cats and the poultry. For ever or at
least until I die.
Then my brothers will get a surprise. They are both so annoyed that
I've got in contact with my other half-siblings that they hardly
speak to me now. There is only one reason for it. They think it
will affect their inheritance.
I thought they would be happy for me. They are not. I am older
than them, I have a paid-off house and a bit of land. They are now
afraid that when I die it will be split between all my new siblings.
I have news for them since they do not bother to support me at all.
Far too busy.
My house and land will be left to a wildlife hospital. My brothers
will get a thousand pounds each (if I have it at the time)
They should have been better to me when our mother died. They were
told very firmly to look after their sister. They haven't. They've
forgotten how I taught them to read before they went to school and
what an advantage it gave them.
They are too busy now to bother to phone me except every couple of
months. I could be dead on the floor by then and only if I didn't
turn up for work for a few days would my neglectful brothers be
alerted.


I know you have already been more than patient with your brothers, but
keep you heart open for them. My sister did a lot for me when I was
little. And I didn't much appreciate it at the time or for quite a
long time after we were grown. Its finally dawned on me how much I
owe her for who I am and for so many things in my life.

She is almost ten years older than I am and that was a big difference
for a long time. The first ten years of her life were a great deal
different than mine. Something I really didn't know growing up and
didn't understand for a long time after. It put a distance between
us.

To add insult to injury as it were, when my mother had Alzheimer's,
the day to day looking in on her mostly fell to my sister. And my
mother would worry about who was looking after me. Of course in her
mind I was still an infant and my mother was hospitalized for several
months when I was. But I know it grated on my sisters nerves.

Its only the last ten or fifteen years that we have become close. We
are both so happy to have really found each other after all.

(However no one is ever entitled to an inheritance. And the quickest
way to miss out on one it to think you are)

Jo

On Sep 4, 2:18*pm, "CatNipped" wrote:
but he paid not a dime of child support and even took the children
off his
medical insurance! *My children and I often went for weeks eating just
peanut butter on stale bread. *

a friend of mine had to walk 10 miles each way to and from work
because her ex wouldn't pay maintenance for their daughter- at one
point, the only reason they weren't using newspaper in the bathroom
was that she could steal TP from work.

Then when she got maintenance, this specimen informed their daughter
that he would not buy her Xmas and birthday presents since that was
what he gave her mum money for. He also informed her that if she
wanted to do a gap year he wouldn't put a penny towards it but he'd be
happy to pay for her step brother to do that!

And even when a court agreed maintenance he regularly put off paying
it until the last minute or "forgot" to do so Fiona (my friend) had to
issue legal letters to get it from him.

Nice ending through....she finally had to take him to court AGAIN.
This time the judge had a much closer look at his finances (possibly
because it must be said a guy pleading poverty is preventing him from
paying maintenance, must be some sort of arrogant p***k to turn up at
court and make that claim with a Rolex watch and Armani suit!) and she
found he had hidden certain assets including his pension and upped the
maintenance payments considerably. gave Fiona a share of his private
pension and told him in no uncertain terms that if he was a day late
ever again then he would be sharing a prison cell by the end of the
day with a huge guy called "Butch" who was in for male rape (okay I
may have made the last bit up but boy! was that judge p***ed!)

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Baha via CatKB.com wrote:
I learned from one of the skiptracers at work that my adoptive father,
Miroslaw, has died. According to the Social Security Death Index, he passed
May 20, just a few weeks ago. The SSA office across the street confirmed they
had received notification, but do not keep death records.
snip
Blessed be,
Baha


Lots and lots of purrs and hugs for you, Baha,
Polonca and Soncek