Thank you everyone...my sweet baby girl passed away

Thank you all so much for your responses to my postings. I have not posted
here in several weeks, all my free time has been devoted to my little
Delilah...lying/cuddling with her, petting, brushing, medicating and
occasionally bathing when necessary and lots of cleanup. Aside from my job and
about 5 hours of sleep each night, my other focus has been on my little girl.
I have bags under my eyes so big that they could carry groceries.

Delilah peacefully slipped away at about 4:35 yesterday afternoon.

The last 48 hours of her life, I had noticed some changes that were not good.
She had a couple 'episodes' that were probably mild seizures. They were not as
extreme like the grand mal seizures she had in August but on a smaller scale
yet still very disturbing to have to see. Yesterday at 12:30 she had an
episode and for a brief moment, she looked up at me straight in the eye and our
eyes locked. It was very strange and incredible, considering she'd been blind
for the last few months of her life. She was coming out of one of these
"spells", looked straight at me and was climing over something, fumbling and
trying very hard to get close to me on the other side of the room. I knew that
the prednisone I'd been giving her for the brain tumor was no longer enough to
keep the brain swelling and seizure activity at bay.

Something inside of me just snapped and I knew this was it, I could not let her
go on like this (people told me you will know when the time is right and I
never thought it would happen with my many false alarms but it finally
happened.... in that instant I was so sure that the time had come and I
couldn't wait a minute longer. It wasn't just the seizures but the constant
circling/pacing she did and it was killing me to watch this). I called the
animal hospital. My vet called me back at 3:00. I asked would she please come
over and put Delilah to sleep and she said yes. I called my friends (I was
having a dinner party) to ask them to come a bit later . The vet came after
4:00. I held Delilah while the vet injected her leg muscle with a sedative.
In 5 minutes she was sedated and then the vet administered a lethal injection
into her veins. Within seconds Delilah very peacefully slipped away.

I had to be strong because in 20 minutes I had friends coming over for dinner
to celebrate my bday. I managed to have a good time considering the
circumstances but today I am so sad and greiving very deeply for such a special
animal. My heart is in a million pieces right now. I miss my baby girl so
much and I only hope I did the right thing for her. I tried so hard to "time
it just right" . When I knew of her blindless/tumor in August, I wasn't ready
to let her go. Though she was unable to do most of what she used to, we still
had some quality time since then...lots of cuddling/purring/kneading and
following the sun beams to nap in and as long as she was doing that, I felt it
was okay to keep her alive. I just want to die right now because I am so
broken-hearted. Is this because she was my first pet? Does this get easier
with other pets? I still have another cat who thank god is healthy but unless
this gets easier I don't think I can keep going through this over and over.

"DaniellaY" wrote in message
...
Delilah peacefully slipped away at about 4:35 yesterday afternoon.


Daniella--

You took great care to show your love for Delilah and to guage when the time
was right to give her the gift of mercy. It cannot get any better than that
for a pet at the end of their lives.

I know it is terrible to be without her--the pain will dull over time, but
never go completely away. You will never forget her and the love you created
between you will live on always. In time, when you are ready, maybe you will
want to tap into that great store of love and give some of it to another
needy kitty. For now be good to yourself, and know that you did the right
thing.

"DaniellaY" wrote in message
...
Delilah peacefully slipped away at about 4:35 yesterday afternoon.


Daniella--

You took great care to show your love for Delilah and to guage when the time
was right to give her the gift of mercy. It cannot get any better than that
for a pet at the end of their lives.

I know it is terrible to be without her--the pain will dull over time, but
never go completely away. You will never forget her and the love you created
between you will live on always. In time, when you are ready, maybe you will
want to tap into that great store of love and give some of it to another
needy kitty. For now be good to yourself, and know that you did the right
thing.

"DaniellaY" wrote in message
...
Thank you all so much for your responses to my postings. I have not
posted
here in several weeks, all my free time has been devoted to my little
Delilah...lying/cuddling with her, petting, brushing, medicating and
occasionally bathing when necessary and lots of cleanup. Aside from my
job and
about 5 hours of sleep each night, my other focus has been on my little
girl.
I have bags under my eyes so big that they could carry groceries.

Delilah peacefully slipped away at about 4:35 yesterday afternoon.

The last 48 hours of her life, I had noticed some changes that were not
good.
She had a couple 'episodes' that were probably mild seizures. They were
not as
extreme like the grand mal seizures she had in August but on a smaller
scale
yet still very disturbing to have to see. Yesterday at 12:30 she had an
episode and for a brief moment, she looked up at me straight in the eye
and our
eyes locked. It was very strange and incredible, considering she'd been
blind
for the last few months of her life. She was coming out of one of these
"spells", looked straight at me and was climing over something, fumbling
and
trying very hard to get close to me on the other side of the room. I knew
that
the prednisone I'd been giving her for the brain tumor was no longer
enough to
keep the brain swelling and seizure activity at bay.

Something inside of me just snapped and I knew this was it, I could not
let her
go on like this (people told me you will know when the time is right and I
never thought it would happen with my many false alarms but it finally
happened.... in that instant I was so sure that the time had come and I
couldn't wait a minute longer. It wasn't just the seizures but the
constant
circling/pacing she did and it was killing me to watch this). I called
the
animal hospital. My vet called me back at 3:00. I asked would she please
come
over and put Delilah to sleep and she said yes. I called my friends (I
was
having a dinner party) to ask them to come a bit later . The vet came
after
4:00. I held Delilah while the vet injected her leg muscle with a
sedative.
In 5 minutes she was sedated and then the vet administered a lethal
injection
into her veins. Within seconds Delilah very peacefully slipped away.

I had to be strong because in 20 minutes I had friends coming over for
dinner
to celebrate my bday. I managed to have a good time considering the
circumstances but today I am so sad and greiving very deeply for such a
special
animal. My heart is in a million pieces right now. I miss my baby girl
so
much and I only hope I did the right thing for her. I tried so hard to
"time
it just right" . When I knew of her blindless/tumor in August, I wasn't
ready
to let her go. Though she was unable to do most of what she used to, we
still
had some quality time since then...lots of cuddling/purring/kneading and
following the sun beams to nap in and as long as she was doing that, I
felt it
was okay to keep her alive. I just want to die right now because I am so
broken-hearted. Is this because she was my first pet? Does this get
easier
with other pets? I still have another cat who thank god is healthy but
unless
this gets easier I don't think I can keep going through this over and
over.



So sorry for your loss.

I think the first time you lose someone close to you is the hardest. After
that at least you have the knowledge that the pain doesn't last forever.
It's easier to bear because you know there will come a day when you can
remember your loved one with pleasure at having known them instead of just
the pain of loss.

W

"DaniellaY" wrote in message
...
Thank you all so much for your responses to my postings. I have not
posted
here in several weeks, all my free time has been devoted to my little
Delilah...lying/cuddling with her, petting, brushing, medicating and
occasionally bathing when necessary and lots of cleanup. Aside from my
job and
about 5 hours of sleep each night, my other focus has been on my little
girl.
I have bags under my eyes so big that they could carry groceries.

Delilah peacefully slipped away at about 4:35 yesterday afternoon.

The last 48 hours of her life, I had noticed some changes that were not
good.
She had a couple 'episodes' that were probably mild seizures. They were
not as
extreme like the grand mal seizures she had in August but on a smaller
scale
yet still very disturbing to have to see. Yesterday at 12:30 she had an
episode and for a brief moment, she looked up at me straight in the eye
and our
eyes locked. It was very strange and incredible, considering she'd been
blind
for the last few months of her life. She was coming out of one of these
"spells", looked straight at me and was climing over something, fumbling
and
trying very hard to get close to me on the other side of the room. I knew
that
the prednisone I'd been giving her for the brain tumor was no longer
enough to
keep the brain swelling and seizure activity at bay.

Something inside of me just snapped and I knew this was it, I could not
let her
go on like this (people told me you will know when the time is right and I
never thought it would happen with my many false alarms but it finally
happened.... in that instant I was so sure that the time had come and I
couldn't wait a minute longer. It wasn't just the seizures but the
constant
circling/pacing she did and it was killing me to watch this). I called
the
animal hospital. My vet called me back at 3:00. I asked would she please
come
over and put Delilah to sleep and she said yes. I called my friends (I
was
having a dinner party) to ask them to come a bit later . The vet came
after
4:00. I held Delilah while the vet injected her leg muscle with a
sedative.
In 5 minutes she was sedated and then the vet administered a lethal
injection
into her veins. Within seconds Delilah very peacefully slipped away.

I had to be strong because in 20 minutes I had friends coming over for
dinner
to celebrate my bday. I managed to have a good time considering the
circumstances but today I am so sad and greiving very deeply for such a
special
animal. My heart is in a million pieces right now. I miss my baby girl
so
much and I only hope I did the right thing for her. I tried so hard to
"time
it just right" . When I knew of her blindless/tumor in August, I wasn't
ready
to let her go. Though she was unable to do most of what she used to, we
still
had some quality time since then...lots of cuddling/purring/kneading and
following the sun beams to nap in and as long as she was doing that, I
felt it
was okay to keep her alive. I just want to die right now because I am so
broken-hearted. Is this because she was my first pet? Does this get
easier
with other pets? I still have another cat who thank god is healthy but
unless
this gets easier I don't think I can keep going through this over and
over.



So sorry for your loss.

I think the first time you lose someone close to you is the hardest. After
that at least you have the knowledge that the pain doesn't last forever.
It's easier to bear because you know there will come a day when you can
remember your loved one with pleasure at having known them instead of just
the pain of loss.

W

I am sooo sorry for your loss.

Linda E


"DaniellaY" wrote in message
...
Thank you all so much for your responses to my postings. I have not
posted
here in several weeks, all my free time has been devoted to my little
Delilah...lying/cuddling with her, petting, brushing, medicating and
occasionally bathing when necessary and lots of cleanup. Aside from my
job and
about 5 hours of sleep each night, my other focus has been on my little
girl.
I have bags under my eyes so big that they could carry groceries.

Delilah peacefully slipped away at about 4:35 yesterday afternoon.

The last 48 hours of her life, I had noticed some changes that were not
good.
She had a couple 'episodes' that were probably mild seizures. They were
not as
extreme like the grand mal seizures she had in August but on a smaller
scale
yet still very disturbing to have to see. Yesterday at 12:30 she had an
episode and for a brief moment, she looked up at me straight in the eye
and our
eyes locked. It was very strange and incredible, considering she'd been
blind
for the last few months of her life. She was coming out of one of these
"spells", looked straight at me and was climing over something, fumbling
and
trying very hard to get close to me on the other side of the room. I knew
that
the prednisone I'd been giving her for the brain tumor was no longer
enough to
keep the brain swelling and seizure activity at bay.

Something inside of me just snapped and I knew this was it, I could not
let her
go on like this (people told me you will know when the time is right and I
never thought it would happen with my many false alarms but it finally
happened.... in that instant I was so sure that the time had come and I
couldn't wait a minute longer. It wasn't just the seizures but the
constant
circling/pacing she did and it was killing me to watch this). I called
the
animal hospital. My vet called me back at 3:00. I asked would she please
come
over and put Delilah to sleep and she said yes. I called my friends (I
was
having a dinner party) to ask them to come a bit later . The vet came
after
4:00. I held Delilah while the vet injected her leg muscle with a
sedative.
In 5 minutes she was sedated and then the vet administered a lethal
injection
into her veins. Within seconds Delilah very peacefully slipped away.

I had to be strong because in 20 minutes I had friends coming over for
dinner
to celebrate my bday. I managed to have a good time considering the
circumstances but today I am so sad and greiving very deeply for such a
special
animal. My heart is in a million pieces right now. I miss my baby girl
so
much and I only hope I did the right thing for her. I tried so hard to
"time
it just right" . When I knew of her blindless/tumor in August, I wasn't
ready
to let her go. Though she was unable to do most of what she used to, we
still
had some quality time since then...lots of cuddling/purring/kneading and
following the sun beams to nap in and as long as she was doing that, I
felt it
was okay to keep her alive. I just want to die right now because I am so
broken-hearted. Is this because she was my first pet? Does this get
easier
with other pets? I still have another cat who thank god is healthy but
unless
this gets easier I don't think I can keep going through this over and
over.

I am sooo sorry for your loss.

Linda E


"DaniellaY" wrote in message
...
Thank you all so much for your responses to my postings. I have not
posted
here in several weeks, all my free time has been devoted to my little
Delilah...lying/cuddling with her, petting, brushing, medicating and
occasionally bathing when necessary and lots of cleanup. Aside from my
job and
about 5 hours of sleep each night, my other focus has been on my little
girl.
I have bags under my eyes so big that they could carry groceries.

Delilah peacefully slipped away at about 4:35 yesterday afternoon.

The last 48 hours of her life, I had noticed some changes that were not
good.
She had a couple 'episodes' that were probably mild seizures. They were
not as
extreme like the grand mal seizures she had in August but on a smaller
scale
yet still very disturbing to have to see. Yesterday at 12:30 she had an
episode and for a brief moment, she looked up at me straight in the eye
and our
eyes locked. It was very strange and incredible, considering she'd been
blind
for the last few months of her life. She was coming out of one of these
"spells", looked straight at me and was climing over something, fumbling
and
trying very hard to get close to me on the other side of the room. I knew
that
the prednisone I'd been giving her for the brain tumor was no longer
enough to
keep the brain swelling and seizure activity at bay.

Something inside of me just snapped and I knew this was it, I could not
let her
go on like this (people told me you will know when the time is right and I
never thought it would happen with my many false alarms but it finally
happened.... in that instant I was so sure that the time had come and I
couldn't wait a minute longer. It wasn't just the seizures but the
constant
circling/pacing she did and it was killing me to watch this). I called
the
animal hospital. My vet called me back at 3:00. I asked would she please
come
over and put Delilah to sleep and she said yes. I called my friends (I
was
having a dinner party) to ask them to come a bit later . The vet came
after
4:00. I held Delilah while the vet injected her leg muscle with a
sedative.
In 5 minutes she was sedated and then the vet administered a lethal
injection
into her veins. Within seconds Delilah very peacefully slipped away.

I had to be strong because in 20 minutes I had friends coming over for
dinner
to celebrate my bday. I managed to have a good time considering the
circumstances but today I am so sad and greiving very deeply for such a
special
animal. My heart is in a million pieces right now. I miss my baby girl
so
much and I only hope I did the right thing for her. I tried so hard to
"time
it just right" . When I knew of her blindless/tumor in August, I wasn't
ready
to let her go. Though she was unable to do most of what she used to, we
still
had some quality time since then...lots of cuddling/purring/kneading and
following the sun beams to nap in and as long as she was doing that, I
felt it
was okay to keep her alive. I just want to die right now because I am so
broken-hearted. Is this because she was my first pet? Does this get
easier
with other pets? I still have another cat who thank god is healthy but
unless
this gets easier I don't think I can keep going through this over and
over.

Daniella,

Lots of hugs! It hurts so much to lose one of our little guys.

It doesn't get easier, but I think (at least for me) that after awhile
you start to understand. These little furries are only put on this earth
for a short time. The best we can do is love them for the time they are
here, but know that at some point they will have to leave.

I think each animal opens up your heart a little more. When we've taken
in another stray after one has departed, I always believed that the last
one approved. They know how much it means to have someone to love them.

I'm going to post below a poem a vet sent us on a card after we lost a
beloved little cat. Take care,

Rhonda

"Fragile Circle"

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary
than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.

Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.

We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully
understanding the necessary plan...

Irving Townsend



DaniellaY wrote:

I just want to die right now because I am so
broken-hearted. Is this because she was my first pet? Does this get easier
with other pets? I still have another cat who thank god is healthy but unless
this gets easier I don't think I can keep going through this over and over.

Daniella,

Lots of hugs! It hurts so much to lose one of our little guys.

It doesn't get easier, but I think (at least for me) that after awhile
you start to understand. These little furries are only put on this earth
for a short time. The best we can do is love them for the time they are
here, but know that at some point they will have to leave.

I think each animal opens up your heart a little more. When we've taken
in another stray after one has departed, I always believed that the last
one approved. They know how much it means to have someone to love them.

I'm going to post below a poem a vet sent us on a card after we lost a
beloved little cat. Take care,

Rhonda

"Fragile Circle"

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary
than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.

Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.

We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully
understanding the necessary plan...

Irving Townsend



DaniellaY wrote:

I just want to die right now because I am so
broken-hearted. Is this because she was my first pet? Does this get easier
with other pets? I still have another cat who thank god is healthy but unless
this gets easier I don't think I can keep going through this over and over.

I am SO sorry to hear this. But she gave you a present. Not everyone has
such a clear message of "it's time". I've been through moments with sick
cats in life that I really think went too long now. But she clearly told you
in such a way that you cannot possibly think it was too soon or too late.
Love your living kitty and do not be sour on accepting their love for fear
of hurt. We only hurt as much as we have loved and been loved and is there
any other measure of a worthwhile life? Really, is there? I don't think so.
I think you are very rich. Bless you and your little one.

Karen