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#1
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This should be in "The Times"
As a discreet announcement of course a lady does not advertise her age
and I would not push myself forward but my dearest mama insists this is an old tradition and one must, of course, acknowledge tradition.... I shall discreetly state I have achieved my majority for today I am one year old.... It has been an interesting year for I was born in modest accommodation although adequate and always felt I was destined for better things than a shed and a frankly bland diet of dried cat food from Mr Joseph Sainsbury's modest emporium Then when I was mere 10 weeks old this stranger came to my residence as I did not trust her intentions to be honourable I retreated to a gap behind the garden shed next door where she could not catch hold of me and when I assumed she had retired from the field of combat I re- entered what was then my domicile only to find she had lain in wait and with little ceremony I was bundled into a common box! I near swooned from the shame of being outwitted by a Hoomin! But I have to admit the Mercedes Benz I then travelled in was an adequate chariot to convey me to my next adventure.... I would not have travelled in anything less.... Eventually I was carried into what has turned out to be my new residence and shock and horror! Another much older feline started sniffing the box that surely now was all that protected me from destruction! After a while she came to the front of the box and said in an undoubtedly common voice" (OY! I hears that! I was born inna shed in Feltham, which has to be posher than a shed in Stepney!) Well perhaps I was given elocution lessons by the first mamma- I believe from what I recall she was a lady of good breeding who alas during something called "heat", which does not sound ladylike and I am thankful I am led to understand I shall not experience due to a perambulation within another decent vehicle, making the acquaintance of a delightful lady called Kylie, having a sleep and waking with my side so denuded of hair I did not dare be seen in polite company until it grew back Anyway I digress- during this "heat" first mamma was alas presumably ravaged by a commoner Anyway this big cat said something along the lines of how nice it was the Hoomins had taken her hints and got her a kitten although it has to be said at this point I rather feared her reasons for getting a kitten was that she rather fancied a kitten braised with shallots in a red wine sauce with asparagus and given the time of year some late Jersey Royals- I had rather less problem with this than if she wanted to make kitten burgers to be served with French fries -so long as I was to be braised in a decent '64 Chateau Laffiette after all one has standards when one is a lady even if one is about to be devoured...I only hoped she would use a napkin.... A little later she washed me..well I protested both as a kitten would and a lady would (Her tongue not smelling of at least Chanel no 5) then we settled down and I confess for all her common ways (I HEARS THAT!) she was nice and soft to sleep on an after such a stressful day I needed the repose,,,, The next morning or so she set out to teach me the art of beguiling our servants, which for a mere commoner (I HEARS THAT) she proved to be more than adept and although she is of common stuff (AN THAT) I have come to regard her as my dearest mamma and love her so much (okay I hears that too-my little baby is growin' up but she won't forget her deal ole mum 'cos we gonna be together until the Bridge an' then later together over it-an' I tole her all about Dunzi my sisfur) Anyway I am now 1-dearest mamma is more enthusiastic about my feather upon a stick than I am- a lady after all does not run about like a demented thing after anything- I am assured my birthday repast shall be turkey breast, which as a genteel, discrete and ladylike gannet I shall show appropriate levels of enjoyment towards when it is served |
#2
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This should be in "The Times"
Bonnie is 1!
Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs |
#3
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This should be in "The Times"
"Lesley" wrote in message
... Bonnie is 1! Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs Somehow I suspected that. ;-) Joy |
#4
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This should be in "The Times"
Lesley, you ought to post this on "our" facebook group! It's hysterical!
Debby |
#5
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This should be in "The Times"
On 05/05/2012 12:48 PM, Lesley wrote:
As a discreet announcement of course a lady does not advertise her age and I would not push myself forward but my dearest mama insists this is an old tradition and one must, of course, acknowledge tradition.... I shall discreetly state I have achieved my majority for today I am one year old.... It has been an interesting year for I was born in modest accommodation although adequate and always felt I was destined for better things than a shed and a frankly bland diet of dried cat food from Mr Joseph Sainsbury's modest emporium Then when I was mere 10 weeks old this stranger came to my residence as I did not trust her intentions to be honourable I retreated to a gap behind the garden shed next door where she could not catch hold of me and when I assumed she had retired from the field of combat I re- entered what was then my domicile only to find she had lain in wait and with little ceremony I was bundled into a common box! I near swooned from the shame of being outwitted by a Hoomin! But I have to admit the Mercedes Benz I then travelled in was an adequate chariot to convey me to my next adventure.... I would not have travelled in anything less.... Eventually I was carried into what has turned out to be my new residence and shock and horror! Another much older feline started sniffing the box that surely now was all that protected me from destruction! After a while she came to the front of the box and said in an undoubtedly common voice" (OY! I hears that! I was born inna shed in Feltham, which has to be posher than a shed in Stepney!) Well perhaps I was given elocution lessons by the first mamma- I believe from what I recall she was a lady of good breeding who alas during something called "heat", which does not sound ladylike and I am thankful I am led to understand I shall not experience due to a perambulation within another decent vehicle, making the acquaintance of a delightful lady called Kylie, having a sleep and waking with my side so denuded of hair I did not dare be seen in polite company until it grew back Anyway I digress- during this "heat" first mamma was alas presumably ravaged by a commoner Anyway this big cat said something along the lines of how nice it was the Hoomins had taken her hints and got her a kitten although it has to be said at this point I rather feared her reasons for getting a kitten was that she rather fancied a kitten braised with shallots in a red wine sauce with asparagus and given the time of year some late Jersey Royals- I had rather less problem with this than if she wanted to make kitten burgers to be served with French fries -so long as I was to be braised in a decent '64 Chateau Laffiette after all one has standards when one is a lady even if one is about to be devoured...I only hoped she would use a napkin.... A little later she washed me..well I protested both as a kitten would and a lady would (Her tongue not smelling of at least Chanel no 5) then we settled down and I confess for all her common ways (I HEARS THAT!) she was nice and soft to sleep on an after such a stressful day I needed the repose,,,, The next morning or so she set out to teach me the art of beguiling our servants, which for a mere commoner (I HEARS THAT) she proved to be more than adept and although she is of common stuff (AN THAT) I have come to regard her as my dearest mamma and love her so much (okay I hears that too-my little baby is growin' up but she won't forget her deal ole mum 'cos we gonna be together until the Bridge an' then later together over it-an' I tole her all about Dunzi my sisfur) Anyway I am now 1-dearest mamma is more enthusiastic about my feather upon a stick than I am- a lady after all does not run about like a demented thing after anything- I am assured my birthday repast shall be turkey breast, which as a genteel, discrete and ladylike gannet I shall show appropriate levels of enjoyment towards when it is served Many happy returns of the day!!! May your future be bright and interesting. MLB and TuTu |
#6
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This should be in "The Times"
Lesley wrote:
Bonnie is 1! Happy birthday!! -- Joyce I want freedom, the right to self expression, everyone's right to beautiful radiant things. -- Emma Goldman |
#7
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This should be in "The Times"
On Sat, 5 May 2012 11:48:53 -0700 (PDT), Lesley
wrote: Anyway I am now 1-dearest mamma is more enthusiastic about my feather upon a stick than I am- a lady after all does not run about like a demented thing after anything- I am assured my birthday repast shall be turkey breast, which as a genteel, discrete and ladylike gannet I shall show appropriate levels of enjoyment towards when it is served She sounds very dainty and charming, and loved too. |
#8
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This should be in "The Times"
On May 6, 7:18*am, Takayuki wrote:
She sounds very dainty and charming, and loved too. Oh she is all those things- we're still not sure she was ever actually a kitten- she from day one has diligently used her box and her scratching post- has not demolished anything , she plays but hardly anything has ever been more than knocked over and never anything broken Lesley Slave of the Fabuous Furballs |
#9
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This should be in "The Times"
On May 6, 12:29*pm, "JJ" wrote:
, the princess is magically transformed into a neighborhood thug. Nah even the idea of being a neighbourhood thug would give Bonnie a fit of the vapours. she is genteel, decorous but when it comes to mealtimes she is known as "The Gannet" She has a healthy appetite for a young animal - a healthy young shire horse that is Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs |
#10
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This should be in "The Times"
Lesley wrote:
"JJ" wrote: the princess is magically transformed into a neighborhood thug. Nah even the idea of being a neighbourhood thug would give Bonnie a fit of the vapours. You definitely wouldn't want *that* to happen! -- Joyce If you can't operate your turn signal, what makes you think you can drive the rest of the car? -- bumper sticker |
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