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This should be in "The Times"



 
 
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  #1  
Old May 5th 12, 07:48 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Lesley
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Posts: 3,700
Default This should be in "The Times"

As a discreet announcement of course a lady does not advertise her age
and I would not push myself forward but my dearest mama insists this
is an old tradition and one must, of course, acknowledge tradition....

I shall discreetly state I have achieved my majority for today I am
one year old....

It has been an interesting year for I was born in modest accommodation
although adequate and always felt I was destined for better things
than a shed and a frankly bland diet of dried cat food from Mr Joseph
Sainsbury's modest emporium

Then when I was mere 10 weeks old this stranger came to my residence
as I did not trust her intentions to be honourable I retreated to a
gap behind the garden shed next door where she could not catch hold of
me and when I assumed she had retired from the field of combat I re-
entered what was then my domicile only to find she had lain in wait
and with little ceremony I was bundled into a common box! I near
swooned from the shame of being outwitted by a Hoomin! But I have to
admit the Mercedes Benz I then travelled in was an adequate chariot to
convey me to my next adventure.... I would not have travelled in
anything less....

Eventually I was carried into what has turned out to be my new
residence and shock and horror! Another much older feline started
sniffing the box that surely now was all that protected me from
destruction! After a while she came to the front of the box and said
in an undoubtedly common voice"

(OY! I hears that! I was born inna shed in Feltham, which has to be
posher than a shed in Stepney!)

Well perhaps I was given elocution lessons by the first mamma- I
believe from what I recall she was a lady of good breeding who alas
during something called "heat", which does not sound ladylike and I am
thankful I am led to understand I shall not experience due to a
perambulation within another decent vehicle, making the acquaintance
of a delightful lady called Kylie, having a sleep and waking with my
side so denuded of hair I did not dare be seen in polite company until
it grew back

Anyway I digress- during this "heat" first mamma was alas presumably
ravaged by a commoner

Anyway this big cat said something along the lines of how nice it was
the Hoomins had taken her hints and got her a kitten although it has
to be said at this point I rather feared her reasons for getting a
kitten was that she rather fancied a kitten braised with shallots in a
red wine sauce with asparagus and given the time of year some late
Jersey Royals- I had rather less problem with this than if she wanted
to make kitten burgers to be served with French fries -so long as I
was to be braised in a decent '64 Chateau Laffiette after all one has
standards when one is a lady even if one is about to be devoured...I
only hoped she would use a napkin....

A little later she washed me..well I protested both as a kitten would
and a lady would (Her tongue not smelling of at least Chanel no 5)
then we settled down and I confess for all her common ways (I HEARS
THAT!) she was nice and soft to sleep on an after such a stressful day
I needed the repose,,,,

The next morning or so she set out to teach me the art of beguiling
our servants, which for a mere commoner (I HEARS THAT) she proved to
be more than adept and although she is of common stuff (AN THAT) I
have come to regard her as my dearest mamma and love her so much

(okay I hears that too-my little baby is growin' up but she won't
forget her deal ole mum 'cos we gonna be together until the Bridge an'
then later together over it-an' I tole her all about Dunzi my sisfur)

Anyway I am now 1-dearest mamma is more enthusiastic about my feather
upon a stick than I am- a lady after all does not run about like a
demented thing after anything- I am assured my birthday repast shall
be turkey breast, which as a genteel, discrete and ladylike gannet I
shall show appropriate levels of enjoyment towards when it is served
  #2  
Old May 5th 12, 07:53 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Lesley
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 3,700
Default This should be in "The Times"

Bonnie is 1!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs
  #3  
Old May 5th 12, 08:06 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Joy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 7,086
Default This should be in "The Times"

"Lesley" wrote in message
...
Bonnie is 1!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs


Somehow I suspected that. ;-)

Joy


  #4  
Old May 5th 12, 09:03 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Debby Hanoka[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 415
Default This should be in "The Times"

Lesley, you ought to post this on "our" facebook group! It's hysterical!

Debby
  #5  
Old May 5th 12, 09:54 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
MLB[_4_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 909
Default This should be in "The Times"

On 05/05/2012 12:48 PM, Lesley wrote:
As a discreet announcement of course a lady does not advertise her age
and I would not push myself forward but my dearest mama insists this
is an old tradition and one must, of course, acknowledge tradition....

I shall discreetly state I have achieved my majority for today I am
one year old....

It has been an interesting year for I was born in modest accommodation
although adequate and always felt I was destined for better things
than a shed and a frankly bland diet of dried cat food from Mr Joseph
Sainsbury's modest emporium

Then when I was mere 10 weeks old this stranger came to my residence
as I did not trust her intentions to be honourable I retreated to a
gap behind the garden shed next door where she could not catch hold of
me and when I assumed she had retired from the field of combat I re-
entered what was then my domicile only to find she had lain in wait
and with little ceremony I was bundled into a common box! I near
swooned from the shame of being outwitted by a Hoomin! But I have to
admit the Mercedes Benz I then travelled in was an adequate chariot to
convey me to my next adventure.... I would not have travelled in
anything less....

Eventually I was carried into what has turned out to be my new
residence and shock and horror! Another much older feline started
sniffing the box that surely now was all that protected me from
destruction! After a while she came to the front of the box and said
in an undoubtedly common voice"

(OY! I hears that! I was born inna shed in Feltham, which has to be
posher than a shed in Stepney!)

Well perhaps I was given elocution lessons by the first mamma- I
believe from what I recall she was a lady of good breeding who alas
during something called "heat", which does not sound ladylike and I am
thankful I am led to understand I shall not experience due to a
perambulation within another decent vehicle, making the acquaintance
of a delightful lady called Kylie, having a sleep and waking with my
side so denuded of hair I did not dare be seen in polite company until
it grew back

Anyway I digress- during this "heat" first mamma was alas presumably
ravaged by a commoner

Anyway this big cat said something along the lines of how nice it was
the Hoomins had taken her hints and got her a kitten although it has
to be said at this point I rather feared her reasons for getting a
kitten was that she rather fancied a kitten braised with shallots in a
red wine sauce with asparagus and given the time of year some late
Jersey Royals- I had rather less problem with this than if she wanted
to make kitten burgers to be served with French fries -so long as I
was to be braised in a decent '64 Chateau Laffiette after all one has
standards when one is a lady even if one is about to be devoured...I
only hoped she would use a napkin....

A little later she washed me..well I protested both as a kitten would
and a lady would (Her tongue not smelling of at least Chanel no 5)
then we settled down and I confess for all her common ways (I HEARS
THAT!) she was nice and soft to sleep on an after such a stressful day
I needed the repose,,,,

The next morning or so she set out to teach me the art of beguiling
our servants, which for a mere commoner (I HEARS THAT) she proved to
be more than adept and although she is of common stuff (AN THAT) I
have come to regard her as my dearest mamma and love her so much

(okay I hears that too-my little baby is growin' up but she won't
forget her deal ole mum 'cos we gonna be together until the Bridge an'
then later together over it-an' I tole her all about Dunzi my sisfur)

Anyway I am now 1-dearest mamma is more enthusiastic about my feather
upon a stick than I am- a lady after all does not run about like a
demented thing after anything- I am assured my birthday repast shall
be turkey breast, which as a genteel, discrete and ladylike gannet I
shall show appropriate levels of enjoyment towards when it is served




Many happy returns of the day!!! May your future be bright and
interesting. MLB and TuTu
  #6  
Old May 5th 12, 11:10 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Bastette
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,622
Default This should be in "The Times"

Lesley wrote:

Bonnie is 1!


Happy birthday!!

--
Joyce

I want freedom, the right to self expression, everyone's right to
beautiful radiant things. -- Emma Goldman
  #7  
Old May 6th 12, 03:18 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Takayuki
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 3,818
Default This should be in "The Times"

On Sat, 5 May 2012 11:48:53 -0700 (PDT), Lesley
wrote:
Anyway I am now 1-dearest mamma is more enthusiastic about my feather
upon a stick than I am- a lady after all does not run about like a
demented thing after anything- I am assured my birthday repast shall
be turkey breast, which as a genteel, discrete and ladylike gannet I
shall show appropriate levels of enjoyment towards when it is served


She sounds very dainty and charming, and loved too.
  #8  
Old May 6th 12, 08:00 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Lesley Madigan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 715
Default This should be in "The Times"

On May 6, 7:18*am, Takayuki wrote:


She sounds very dainty and charming, and loved too.


Oh she is all those things- we're still not sure she was ever actually
a kitten- she from day one has diligently used her box and her
scratching post- has not demolished anything , she plays but hardly
anything has ever been more than knocked over and never anything
broken

Lesley

Slave of the Fabuous Furballs

  #9  
Old May 7th 12, 12:26 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Lesley
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 3,700
Default This should be in "The Times"

On May 6, 12:29*pm, "JJ" wrote:
, the princess is magically transformed into a
neighborhood thug.


Nah even the idea of being a neighbourhood thug would give Bonnie a
fit of the vapours. she is genteel, decorous but when it comes to
mealtimes she is known as "The Gannet"

She has a healthy appetite for a young animal - a healthy young shire
horse that is

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs
  #10  
Old May 7th 12, 12:52 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Bastette
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,622
Default This should be in "The Times"

Lesley wrote:

"JJ" wrote:


the princess is magically transformed into a neighborhood thug.


Nah even the idea of being a neighbourhood thug would give Bonnie a
fit of the vapours.


You definitely wouldn't want *that* to happen!

--
Joyce

If you can't operate your turn signal, what makes you think you can
drive the rest of the car? -- bumper sticker
 




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