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#1
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
so it's been 6 days since we've had the 5 month old brothers and they are
still really scared and not affectionate. they lived at a shelter most of their lives so I don't know exactly how much human touch they had. they don't hiss at us but they don't let me pet them unless they are way under the tub and I'm stretched to my max. if I play with them for an hour with the toy they love and then slowly put my hand under the tub they will purr and stick their chin out for scratching. but that has only happened 2 times. most of the time if we move or make any noise they run and hide. One of them is a bit more adventurous than the other. anyhow. My boyfriend is afraid they will always be skittish and is talking about taking them back and getting one younger kitten instead. I'd hate to take them back. we are also concerned because we were planning on having them be indoor/outdoor cats but everyone seems to think we should keep them inside. we don't want to live with the smell of kitty litter (we have a tiny house) I'm so nervous that they aren't going to be affectionate. and if they aren't I won't be able to convince my boyfriend that we should keep them. I'm embarrassed that we aren't better at this- any and all thoughts/advice are welcome. -- Message posted via CatKB.com http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx...ealth/200608/1 |
#2
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
LM007 via CatKB.com wrote: .. they don't hiss at us but they don't let me pet them unless they are way under the tub and I'm stretched to my max. if I play with them for an hour with the toy they love and then slowly put my hand under the tub they will purr and stick their chin out for scratching. but that has only happened 2 times. After 6 days that's an improvement! If they've been in the shelter since they were kittens, they're probably nervous. My two were born in a shed and very little Human contact until they were 8 weeks old when they came to us. It took them several days before they would approach us for skritchies, the first two days, we would get fleeting glances as they explored but the moment they realised we'd seen them, they would bolt back behind the washing machine. They're now affectionate, well adjusted cats so please don't give up on these kittens yet. Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs |
#3
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
On Fri, 04 Aug 2006 06:37:42 +0000, LM007 via CatKB.com wrote:
so it's been 6 days since we've had the 5 month old brothers and they are still really scared and not affectionate. they lived at a shelter most of their lives so I don't know exactly how much human touch they had. they don't hiss at us but they don't let me pet them unless they are way under the tub and I'm stretched to my max. if I play with them for an hour with the toy they love and then slowly put my hand under the tub they will purr and stick their chin out for scratching. but that has only happened 2 times. most of the time if we move or make any noise they run and hide. One of them is a bit more adventurous than the other. anyhow. My boyfriend is afraid they will always be skittish and is talking about taking them back and getting one younger kitten instead. I'd hate to take them back. we are also concerned because we were planning on having them be indoor/outdoor cats but everyone seems to think we should keep them inside. we don't want to live with the smell of kitty litter (we have a tiny house) I'm so nervous that they aren't going to be affectionate. and if they aren't I won't be able to convince my boyfriend that we should keep them. I'm embarrassed that we aren't better at this- any and all thoughts/advice are welcome. You aren't giving them near enough time to get used to you and their new home. Also, that you probably have unrealistic expectations. The kittens you have are shy, but on the plus side, they do get along well with each other. And, even if you had a secure, fenced, outside area for them, they would also need an inside litter box (bad weather, when you are away, etc). If you're not satisfied with the kittens, take them back. But I strongly suggest that you not get another. A little shy at first is way down the list of problems one can have with a kitten/cat. |
#4
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
Maybe leave them alone for a while...they need time to get used to
their surroundings and then they can deal with making new friends. It works best if you let them come to you rather than forcing them to interact. Like I posted before, sometimes it can take more than a week for kittens to adjust...and since they are a pair and are not "forced" to turn to you for companionship, it may take longer. Good luck! Ann wrote: On Fri, 04 Aug 2006 06:37:42 +0000, LM007 via CatKB.com wrote: so it's been 6 days since we've had the 5 month old brothers and they are still really scared and not affectionate. they lived at a shelter most of their lives so I don't know exactly how much human touch they had. they don't hiss at us but they don't let me pet them unless they are way under the tub and I'm stretched to my max. if I play with them for an hour with the toy they love and then slowly put my hand under the tub they will purr and stick their chin out for scratching. but that has only happened 2 times. most of the time if we move or make any noise they run and hide. One of them is a bit more adventurous than the other. anyhow. My boyfriend is afraid they will always be skittish and is talking about taking them back and getting one younger kitten instead. I'd hate to take them back. we are also concerned because we were planning on having them be indoor/outdoor cats but everyone seems to think we should keep them inside. we don't want to live with the smell of kitty litter (we have a tiny house) I'm so nervous that they aren't going to be affectionate. and if they aren't I won't be able to convince my boyfriend that we should keep them. I'm embarrassed that we aren't better at this- any and all thoughts/advice are welcome. You aren't giving them near enough time to get used to you and their new home. Also, that you probably have unrealistic expectations. The kittens you have are shy, but on the plus side, they do get along well with each other. And, even if you had a secure, fenced, outside area for them, they would also need an inside litter box (bad weather, when you are away, etc). If you're not satisfied with the kittens, take them back. But I strongly suggest that you not get another. A little shy at first is way down the list of problems one can have with a kitten/cat. |
#5
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
I really appreciate the responses I'm getting here. It's been 13 days since
we got the kitties and we've been doing everything we can to make them feel loved. one cat person told us to take them and pet them until they understand that we won't hurt them. that seemed against the general "let them come to you" advice I've been getting but we tried it. it sort of works with one of them. he was really scared and mad when we grabbed him but then he ended up sleeping next to me on the bed. today he is hissing and hiding again and seems to have forgotten about our cozy night last night. the other one got out in the yard and we didn't get him back for 48 hours. I tried to grab him once but he bit me (this was when it was getting dark after spending the day trying to seduce him inside with treats and the toy he likes) he made it into our basement the next day through a hole and my boyfriend got him after getting scratched up too. that one didn't relax at all the time we held him and pet him (after sort of forcing him out from under the tub- which I felt horrible about doing) I've been sitiing next to them while they eat and just talking to them. but they still run away when I move. they have also been peeing on things that they shouldn't every once in a while. I feel so badly about this. I have had kittens before (when I was a teenager) and have had cats that adopted me and I guess I wasn't prepared for how hard this would be. we are seriously considering taking them back and I know there's no way around the guilt if we do. I'm thinking they might need a home where the people aren't working all the time and with someone who has more patience to heal the childhood wounds these kitties are suffering from. advice? Michelle wrote: Maybe leave them alone for a while...they need time to get used to their surroundings and then they can deal with making new friends. It works best if you let them come to you rather than forcing them to interact. Like I posted before, sometimes it can take more than a week for kittens to adjust...and since they are a pair and are not "forced" to turn to you for companionship, it may take longer. Good luck! so it's been 6 days since we've had the 5 month old brothers and they are still really scared and not affectionate. they lived at a shelter most of [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] suggest that you not get another. A little shy at first is way down the list of problems one can have with a kitten/cat. -- Message posted via http://www.catkb.com |
#6
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
When you grab the cat you going to get bit it is their defense to say what
do you think you are doing. 6 days you need something called PATIENCE and a lot of it "LM007 via CatKB.com" u24697@uwe wrote in message news:6496058771b89@uwe... I really appreciate the responses I'm getting here. It's been 13 days since we got the kitties and we've been doing everything we can to make them feel loved. one cat person told us to take them and pet them until they understand that we won't hurt them. that seemed against the general "let them come to you" advice I've been getting but we tried it. it sort of works with one of them. he was really scared and mad when we grabbed him but then he ended up sleeping next to me on the bed. today he is hissing and hiding again and seems to have forgotten about our cozy night last night. the other one got out in the yard and we didn't get him back for 48 hours. I tried to grab him once but he bit me (this was when it was getting dark after spending the day trying to seduce him inside with treats and the toy he likes) he made it into our basement the next day through a hole and my boyfriend got him after getting scratched up too. that one didn't relax at all the time we held him and pet him (after sort of forcing him out from under the tub- which I felt horrible about doing) I've been sitiing next to them while they eat and just talking to them. but they still run away when I move. they have also been peeing on things that they shouldn't every once in a while. I feel so badly about this. I have had kittens before (when I was a teenager) and have had cats that adopted me and I guess I wasn't prepared for how hard this would be. we are seriously considering taking them back and I know there's no way around the guilt if we do. I'm thinking they might need a home where the people aren't working all the time and with someone who has more patience to heal the childhood wounds these kitties are suffering from. advice? Michelle wrote: Maybe leave them alone for a while...they need time to get used to their surroundings and then they can deal with making new friends. It works best if you let them come to you rather than forcing them to interact. Like I posted before, sometimes it can take more than a week for kittens to adjust...and since they are a pair and are not "forced" to turn to you for companionship, it may take longer. Good luck! so it's been 6 days since we've had the 5 month old brothers and they are still really scared and not affectionate. they lived at a shelter most of [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] suggest that you not get another. A little shy at first is way down the list of problems one can have with a kitten/cat. -- Message posted via http://www.catkb.com |
#7
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
Wow, 13 days? I'm starting to wonder what sort of conditions these
kitties came from. Did you get a history from the shelter? LM007 via CatKB.com wrote: I really appreciate the responses I'm getting here. It's been 13 days since we got the kitties and we've been doing everything we can to make them feel loved. one cat person told us to take them and pet them until they understand that we won't hurt them. that seemed against the general "let them come to you" advice I've been getting but we tried it. it sort of works with one of them. he was really scared and mad when we grabbed him but then he ended up sleeping next to me on the bed. today he is hissing and hiding again and seems to have forgotten about our cozy night last night. the other one got out in the yard and we didn't get him back for 48 hours. I tried to grab him once but he bit me (this was when it was getting dark after spending the day trying to seduce him inside with treats and the toy he likes) he made it into our basement the next day through a hole and my boyfriend got him after getting scratched up too. that one didn't relax at all the time we held him and pet him (after sort of forcing him out from under the tub- which I felt horrible about doing) I've been sitiing next to them while they eat and just talking to them. but they still run away when I move. they have also been peeing on things that they shouldn't every once in a while. I feel so badly about this. I have had kittens before (when I was a teenager) and have had cats that adopted me and I guess I wasn't prepared for how hard this would be. we are seriously considering taking them back and I know there's no way around the guilt if we do. I'm thinking they might need a home where the people aren't working all the time and with someone who has more patience to heal the childhood wounds these kitties are suffering from. advice? Michelle wrote: Maybe leave them alone for a while...they need time to get used to their surroundings and then they can deal with making new friends. It works best if you let them come to you rather than forcing them to interact. Like I posted before, sometimes it can take more than a week for kittens to adjust...and since they are a pair and are not "forced" to turn to you for companionship, it may take longer. Good luck! so it's been 6 days since we've had the 5 month old brothers and they are still really scared and not affectionate. they lived at a shelter most of [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] suggest that you not get another. A little shy at first is way down the list of problems one can have with a kitten/cat. -- Message posted via http://www.catkb.com |
#8
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
the kitties and their brothers and sisters were brought to the vet when they
were 3 months old. the mother was never found so they don't know how long they'd been on their own but they were completely feral when they were brought in. then they spent 2 month in a cage at the vet. I spoke to the nice people at the vet and they said that the siblings of these guys are NOT adjusting well and they don't know what they are going to do with them. I think you guys are right that we need patience and that they will eventually come around. But i'm not sure that we have that kind of patience-- to be honest. and it's hard for me to believe that they won't be skittish. we don't want skittish cats that hide when people come over. I guess I'm looking for someone to tell me it's OK to take them back to the vet and let them find them a better home than we can provide. sorry to be such a bummer and thank you very much for listening to my problems. Michelle wrote: Wow, 13 days? I'm starting to wonder what sort of conditions these kitties came from. Did you get a history from the shelter? I really appreciate the responses I'm getting here. It's been 13 days since we got the kitties and we've been doing everything we can to make them feel [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] suggest that you not get another. A little shy at first is way down the list of problems one can have with a kitten/cat. -- Message posted via http://www.catkb.com |
#9
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
On Fri, 04 Aug 2006 06:37:42 GMT, "LM007 via CatKB.com" u24697@uwe
wrote: so it's been 6 days since we've had the 5 month old brothers and they are still really scared and not affectionate. they lived at a shelter most of their lives so I don't know exactly how much human touch they had. they don't hiss at us but they don't let me pet them unless they are way under the tub and I'm stretched to my max. if I play with them for an hour with the toy they love and then slowly put my hand under the tub they will purr and stick their chin out for scratching. but that has only happened 2 times. most of the time if we move or make any noise they run and hide. One of them is a bit more adventurous than the other. anyhow. My boyfriend is afraid they will always be skittish and is talking about taking them back and getting one younger kitten instead. I'd hate to take them back. we are also concerned because we were planning on having them be indoor/outdoor cats but everyone seems to think we should keep them inside. we don't want to live with the smell of kitty litter (we have a tiny house) I'm so nervous that they aren't going to be affectionate. and if they aren't I won't be able to convince my boyfriend that we should keep them. I'm embarrassed that we aren't better at this- any and all thoughts/advice are welcome. Six days is nothing. It can take weeks. Just be patient and don't take it personally. They're picking up on your anxiety. |
#10
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5 Month Olds are still Scared. Boyfriend is now scared too!
LM007 via CatKB.com wrote: so it's been 6 days since we've had the 5 month old brothers and they are still really scared and not affectionate. they lived at a shelter most of their lives so I don't know exactly how much human touch they had. they don't hiss at us but they don't let me pet them unless they are way under the tub and I'm stretched to my max. if I play with them for an hour with the toy they love and then slowly put my hand under the tub they will purr and stick their chin out for scratching. but that has only happened 2 times. most of the time if we move or make any noise they run and hide. One of them is a bit more adventurous than the other. anyhow. My boyfriend is afraid they will always be skittish and is talking about taking them back and getting one younger kitten instead. I'd hate to take them back. we are also concerned because we were planning on having them be indoor/outdoor cats but everyone seems to think we should keep them inside. we don't want to live with the smell of kitty litter (we have a tiny house) I'm so nervous that they aren't going to be affectionate. and if they aren't I won't be able to convince my boyfriend that we should keep them. I'm embarrassed that we aren't better at this- any and all thoughts/advice are welcome. Why would you want to devote your time and money to attending to them if they weren't affectionate, dear...? Don't you expect anything out of the relationship, or do you just like getting stepped on...? |
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