OT CAT joke of the day

"cybercat" wrote in message
...

"Matthew" wrote
Are you sure she is not in your kill file?

I thought I was, but I went through it again and there she was.
(It takes a while, as the Puppy Weenie and bob and carol
each have about 97 email addresses!)

I use OE. Maybe I forgot to click "OK."
Outlook express has the filters in it. I think at one time you had said
you setup a filter

"Matthew" wrote in message
...

"cybercat" wrote in message
...

"Matthew" wrote
Are you sure she is not in your kill file?

I thought I was, but I went through it again and there she was.
(It takes a while, as the Puppy Weenie and bob and carol
each have about 97 email addresses!)

I use OE. Maybe I forgot to click "OK."
Outlook express has the filters in it. I think at one time you had said
you setup a filter

Yes, same as "killfile," the way I use it. It is just, right click on the
message of someone you don't want to read then click "block sender." The you
can go in and view the list and remove people from your blocked sender file.
Next time she posts I should be able to see it. Thanks.

On Sun, 15 Jul 2007 02:10:31 -0400, Matthew wrote:

Gripe Sheet

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a"gripe sheet",
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problem, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that
ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance
complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions
recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left
inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed
on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction
locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to:
straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last ..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget


It is good to laugh now and then. Thanks! MLB

On Jul 15, 4:56 pm, "Matthew" wrote:
"Sheelagh o" wrote in message

ups.com...



On 15 Jul, 07:10, "Matthew" wrote:
Gripe Sheet

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a"gripe
sheet", which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problem, document their repairs on the form, and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it
be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and
the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had
an accident.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last ..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

I thought it was funny, but then again, I am still a newbi...
Sheelagh

After what you have gone thru you are far from a newbie- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Frankly I would rather have not gone through it, but I have, & It is
Over, I hope.

Does this mean I have grauated to the intermediate class then? ;o)
Yes, Pukka news that is.....
Sheelagh

"Sheelagh o" wrote

Does this mean I have grauated to the intermediate class then? ;o)

I CAN SEE YOU!

Hi, Sheelagh!

On Jul 15, 6:10 pm, "cybercat" wrote:
"Matthew" wrote in message

...



"cybercat" wrote in message
...

"Matthew" wrote
Are you sure she is not in your kill file?

I thought I was, but I went through it again and there she was.
(It takes a while, as the Puppy Weenie and bob and carol
each have about 97 email addresses!)

I use OE. Maybe I forgot to click "OK."
Outlook express has the filters in it. I think at one time you had said
you setup a filter

Yes, same as "killfile," the way I use it. It is just, right click on the
message of someone you don't want to read then click "block sender." The you
can go in and view the list and remove people from your blocked sender file.
Next time she posts I should be able to see it. Thanks.

CAN YOU SEE ME????
Lol;o)

I can't help you with that one. I tried using outlook express myself
but it kept telling me that there was some error & quoted a number for
me to look @ to find out what the problem was. I never got as far as
finding out, because when I tried to look into it, I was told that If
I wanted to use my email address with Hotmail, there was a fee.

It also asked me if I wanted to use Outlook as my default program
( which I would love to do,.. However, with 3 other users on this Pc,
I didn't know whether it would affect their email addresses as well-
or whether it would mean them having to use OE too?)
I gave up in the end, & thought about going down the gravity route
instead because it is free.

Any thoughts on this one, or where I might have gone wrong?
(apart from I am thick when it comes to PCs- I already know that one
thanx.....lol )
Sheelagh

On Jul 15, 7:05 pm, "cybercat" wrote:
"Sheelagh o" wrote



Does this mean I have grauated to the intermediate class then? ;o)

I CAN SEE YOU!

Hi, Sheelagh!

Hellooooooo... to all of you, From a very damp, soggy wet, thundering
UK

all of the moggies are quite happy to hide behind the sofa's & under
the pillows today- Can't say that I blame them though;o(

Ha, not bad, Promoted out of your killfile is a major improvement, lol
Glad to hear you worked it out in the end

"Sheelagh o" wrote

Ha, not bad, Promoted out of your killfile is a major improvement, lol

haha, some would not agree!

Glad to hear you worked it out in the end


Thank you. I spend a lot of time trying to master my electronic gadgets.

Suddenly, without warning, Matthew exclaimed (7/16/2007 1:13 AM):
"jmc"

Did you at least laugh before you knicked picked a joke jeesh



Well, I did the first time I read it, but I've seen it so many times
now... guess I was just miffed 'cause I was expecting a cat joke, and
got an old noncat joke instead.

Hey, we all have off days

jmc

On 16 Jul, 09:43, jmc wrote:
Suddenly, without warning, Matthew exclaimed (7/16/2007 1:13 AM):

"jmc"

Did you at least laugh before you knicked picked a joke jeesh

Well, I did the first time I read it, but I've seen it so many times
now... guess I was just miffed 'cause I was expecting a cat joke, and
got an old noncat joke instead.

Hey, we all have off days

jmc

Hi JMC,

I thought you might like to share some photos with us. we work for
Ragdoll Rescue UK, & normally get older cats in, or ex-breeding cats
who's owners have the time of the space to allow thier cats to live
out their retirement. You would think that after earning their selves
thousands of pounds, they could find it in their hearts to love and
respect them, but they don't. It's really sad actually;o(

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/sheela...23236325270562

It is ever so rare to get kittens to care for, but in this instance,
we believe that a couple bought they to go with their American Pit
bull Terrier. Unfortunately, the dog didn't feel the same way about
them as his slaves did...so they had to hand them over to Ragdoll
Rescue, rather than allow the dog to rip them to pieces. I don't
suppose that all dogs are like that, but in this case, it couldn't
stand them.

We got no papers with them, & we believe that they came from a kitten
farm, because when we got them, the vet aged them @ around 5-6 weeks
old. far too young to leave mummy, but then some people have no morals
to start with.
We are hoping to home them both together becasuse they are ever so
close. She has a brother who is a Bi-colour seal.

Most of our cats love them and are very tolerant( they only get the
odd cuff when they are "really outrageous".) Lucy(fur!) avoids them as
much as possible, but old Taz is happy to pin them down, bath them &
even give them meow instructions on how to climb everywhere.....

The change in them is amazing, because when they first arrived they
hid for a couple of weeks behind one of the kitchen cupboards, only
coming out to eat & toilet @ night, when it is quiet. Now they are
like sherbet Bombs!!!! Curtain climbing, li'l monsters, but so cute
that it is hard to be angry for long, & more worrying that they might
fall, than the old curtains being shredded to ribbons, lol.
I hope that you don't mind the fact that we used Meep's name?
It was in a very worthy cause though;o)
Sheelagh