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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish but I must love these people
When I was a kid I was harrassed, and beaten up by both Irish and black bullies who picked on me for being Jewish. I grew to hate the irish and the blacks but what was funny about it was although I was lonely and alienated because of the treatment I was getting every day in school, it was always weird Irish outcasts who reached out to me, and came to my emotional rescue. My best freinds were eccentric Irishmen wit outstanding senses of humor which I believe exists in the soul of the irish people. Two of these irish friends were homosexuals, one was flaming and the other was a closet case. They were weirdos but were important figures in my life. Also I began noticing that black girls found me attractive probably because I have big dark eyes like a black man. It started to become obvious to me that black people in general were not really a threat to me at all, and that we actually had a lot in common because blacks are the ultimate outsiders and this is
their existential dillema. years later I rescued two homeless cats. One was all black, and the other was white with black spots. I a very isolated, and a diagnosed schizophrenic, so the cats are important emotional outlets to me. The black cat lives with my ex-girlfriend now, and the white cat who is ver old is living with me. Since I love my cat, I often talk to him and sometimes shout out to him affectionate nicknames. Its almost like I am having a fit of love and I start calling him "black spot jackson" and then I will csall him "gentle jack mahoney" or "mr Mcgee". I used to call the black cat "blacky Jackson" and sometimes "mr Jones" or "blacky Johnson". I think its fair to assume that when you are experiencing a love attack, and then spontaneously shouting out terms of endearment, the words are the signature of the subconcious, and what I am wondering now is if I must really love the Irish and the blacks even though I am still bitter about the bad treatment and emotional damage I received in childhood. I know that the readers of this post are not psychoanalysts, but given all the facts I have presented what do you make of this? Do I really love the people I thought were my enemies? |
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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish but I must love these people
Mason H Chelmsford wrote:
When I was a kid I was harrassed, and beaten up by both Irish and black bullies who picked on me for being Jewish. I grew to hate the irish and the blacks but what was funny about it was although I was lonely and alienated because of the treatment I was getting every day in school, it was always weird Irish outcasts who reached out to me, and came to my emotional rescue. My best freinds were eccentric Irishmen wit outstanding senses of humor which I believe exists in the soul of the irish people. [snip] It started to become obvious to me that black people in general were not really a threat to me at all, and that we actually had a lot in common because blacks are the ultimate outsiders... Newsgroups trimmed to RPCA. You sound a lot like the guy who posted the other day about teaching his cat how to hug. Was that you? Anyway, I relate a lot to your story. I was also the only Jew in my school while growing up, and I was shunned, ostracized and ridiculed by my charming schoolmates. So my heart goes out to you, because those kinds of experiences have lifelong repercussions. I'm in my 50s and I still occasionally find myself responding in groups as though I'm back in that schoolyard. I know what you mean about only the "weird" people being nice to you. People who have lived their entire lives within the comfort of normalcy and social acceptance usually don't understand just how important that is. OK with me, though - I'd rather hang out with my fellow eccentrics. Animals are a wonderful comfort when you can't trust other humans, that's for sure. -- Joyce ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) |
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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish but I must love these people
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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish but I must love these people
Yowie wrote:
There's at least one other person in RPCA I know who has a psychiatric issue, but I personally find them pretty much the sanest person I know because they are acutely aware of their disorder and its implications. I believe that particular person finds cats a great solace too - because they are not judgemental and give their love based on the goodness of someone's soul, not the appearance to others. And cats, often unlike people, are safe to love. That's how I felt as a kid, anyway. I also felt that way about dogs. Also, cats are magical. I always feel very honored by their affection. (I did/do *not* feel that way about dogs, as much as I like them. ) 3) I have always been a geek, but I didn't know other geeks actually existed until much later on in life.[1] Having found fellow geeks has helped me alot - they're my 'tribe' so to speak and really the only bunch of people I feel comfortable around without having to get to know them all very well over a long period of time. I have no issues walking up to a fellow geek and just starting to chat - I am virtually incapable of doing this in a 'regular' crowd. Yeah... I used to think I was a geek, until I moved to the Bay Area (which includes Silicon Valley, one of the major computer/tech hubs in the world) and met Real Geeks(TM). I am a rank amateur! OK, I love science and always have, and I've always been good at math. But there's a particular culture around here that I really don't fit in with *at all*. One of my closest friends is part of a big circle of sf and computer geeks, and I find it extremely uncomfortable to hang out with them. They're often really arrogant about their opinions and beliefs, and think they're smarter than everyone else. OK, maybe they are smarter than most people, but they think that makes them *better*. And Vicky, you are not at all like that. If you are, you do a great job of hiding it here! You have a very healthy amount of humility, by which I don't mean low self-esteem. I just mean that you don't act like you feel superior to other people. Also, I'm really different from the average geek. I'm not a science fiction *Fan* (capital F). I do like some of it, but, for example, I would never go to a con. I'm definitely not a gamer. And despite working in the high tech field for 25+ years, I'm not a nut about technology. I don't have the latest stuff (my PC is so ancient I'm embarrassed to say how old it is) and I don't get overly excited about new techie products. I'm not a purist about precision, accuracy, correctness of factoids or grammatical correctness. I don't give a hoot if someone splits an infinitive, or calls an arcane ocean species by the wrong name. And last - perhaps the most important - I do not own a collection of wind-up toys, fandom action figures, or fidgety science toys. Maybe I'm just my own kind of geek... or maybe I'm not, at all. Still looking for my tribe... Suki pretty much ignores me, and I'm now OK with that. I've stopped trying to bribe her with treats and long fingernail scritches (Joel doesn't have fingernails of course) and accepted her decision. LOL on the fingernails. My ex was a guitarist and had long nails on her right hand (for plucking strings). I was so jealous that Smudge would let her scritch her for a long time, that I actually grew my own nails so that Smudge would like my scritches, too! (I still keep my nails long enough to give good kitty scritches - am I a slave or what?) [1] The more I read about Asperger's syndrome, the more I suspect I have (I don't 'suffer from') a mild version of it - whilst I am no expert, I also suspect that Asperger's in females manifests itself somewhat differently than it does in men. But Geeks and Asperger's people are so strongly correlated (and its genetic - my Dad is a classic Asperger's guy), it would not surprise me at all. I totally agree with this. A lot of the characteristics that we usually consider "geeky" are actually Asperger's. Here in the Valley where there are lots and lots of software engineers, and hence, lots of geeks, there is an unusually high percentage of autistic children being born. The theory is that this area, being the software mecca that it is, has a disproportionate number of adults with Asperger's, who are passing on genes for autism in higher than usual numbers, causing more autistic children to be born here, relative to the population, than in other places. Interesting, isn't it? -- Joyce ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) |
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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish but I must love these people
wrote in message
Yowie wrote: There's at least one other person in RPCA I know who has a psychiatric issue, but I personally find them pretty much the sanest person I know because they are acutely aware of their disorder and its implications. I believe that particular person finds cats a great solace too - because they are not judgemental and give their love based on the goodness of someone's soul, not the appearance to others. And cats, often unlike people, are safe to love. That's how I felt as a kid, anyway. I also felt that way about dogs. Also, cats are magical. I always feel very honored by their affection. (I did/do *not* feel that way about dogs, as much as I like them. ) There's something about weirdos, writers and witches that attracts cats (or alternatively cats attract weirdoes writers and witches) I do firmly believe that cats are very mcuh in tune with a world beyond our senses and although we joke about 'the mothership' and greeblings, I think they really do see things we can't and are incredibly well tuned into our thoughts feelings and moods. It may be as something as mundane as smell, but Shmogg could always tell if it was that time of the month and a warm gently vibrating furry creature across my tummy would make me feel better (and it always did). He could always cheer me up when I was down, could just look at me and I felt as if he understood. Snoopy would dissappear for days at a time but would always appear to stareintently whilst my boyfriend of the time and I were having 'a good pash' (as it was called int he day). I swear that all three current cats know Cary is a kid that doens't know any better. he's done things to all three of them that I'd have my face removed for. He doens't mean any harm of course, but he can get terribly *enthusiastic* about them and is still relatively oblivious to the signs of an annoyed cat (also jsut as oblivious to signs of annoyed parents actually). We're working on that 'psychic connection', and whilst I am usually quite skeptical about anything involving estra sensory perception, the cats of my life has taught me that if they aren't actually 'psychic' they do a damn good impression of it using their other senses. 3) I have always been a geek, but I didn't know other geeks actually existed until much later on in life.[1] Having found fellow geeks has helped me alot - they're my 'tribe' so to speak and really the only bunch of people I feel comfortable around without having to get to know them all very well over a long period of time. I have no issues walking up to a fellow geek and just starting to chat - I am virtually incapable of doing this in a 'regular' crowd. Yeah... I used to think I was a geek, until I moved to the Bay Area (which includes Silicon Valley, one of the major computer/tech hubs in the world) and met Real Geeks(TM). I am a rank amateur! OK, I love science and always have, and I've always been good at math. But there's a particular culture around here that I really don't fit in with *at all*. One of my closest friends is part of a big circle of sf and computer geeks, and I find it extremely uncomfortable to hang out with them. They're often really arrogant about their opinions and beliefs, and think they're smarter than everyone else. OK, maybe they are smarter than most people, but they think that makes them *better*. Bah! They're *nerds*. Geeks are geeky, and are happy to celebrate their geekishness, but learnt that arrogance, snobbishness and exclusion are *hurtful* to others (usually by being the butt of it themselves). And Vicky, you are not at all like that. If you are, you do a great job of hiding it here! You have a very healthy amount of humility, by which I don't mean low self-esteem. I just mean that you don't act like you feel superior to other people. Well, thankyou, but I can get snobbish and be a total biatch just as good as anyone else. I just *try* not to. Its wrong. Also, I'm really different from the average geek. Hehehe. I am amused at the notion of the 'average' geek. Don't mind me. I'm not a science fiction *Fan* (capital F). I do like some of it, but, for example, I would never go to a con. I'm definitely not a gamer. And despite working in the high tech field for 25+ years, I'm not a nut about technology. I don't have the latest stuff (my PC is so ancient I'm embarrassed to say how old it is) and I don't get overly excited about new techie products. I'm not a purist about precision, accuracy, correctness of factoids or grammatical correctness. I don't give a hoot if someone splits an infinitive, or calls an arcane ocean species by the wrong name. And last - perhaps the most important - I do not own a collection of wind-up toys, fandom action figures, or fidgety science toys. Maybe I'm just my own kind of geek... or maybe I'm not, at all. There are all sorts of geeks (theatre geek, history geek, music geek etc etc). Perhaps you are a cat geek? Still looking for my tribe... There's one here :-) *snippity* [1] The more I read about Asperger's syndrome, the more I suspect I have (I don't 'suffer from') a mild version of it - whilst I am no expert, I also suspect that Asperger's in females manifests itself somewhat differently than it does in men. But Geeks and Asperger's people are so strongly correlated (and its genetic - my Dad is a classic Asperger's guy), it would not surprise me at all. I totally agree with this. A lot of the characteristics that we usually consider "geeky" are actually Asperger's. Here in the Valley where there are lots and lots of software engineers, and hence, lots of geeks, there is an unusually high percentage of autistic children being born. The theory is that this area, being the software mecca that it is, has a disproportionate number of adults with Asperger's, who are passing on genes for autism in higher than usual numbers, causing more autistic children to be born here, relative to the population, than in other places. Interesting, isn't it? Well, traditionally, hypergeeks didn't breed because they weren't attractive enough to the opposite gender and they weren't that *interested* in the general members of the opposite gender to breed anyway. But now with places like Silicaon Valley where hypergeeks suddenly become attractive because they are rich and influential, mixing with other geeks and their sisters.... well, yes, it makes sense they'd breed a higher percentage of ultrageek than the regular populace. Yowie -- If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, icecream doesn't have bones. |
#6
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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish but Imust love these people
On Dec 2, 1:49 am, Mason H Chelmsford wrote: When I was a kid I was harassed, and beaten up by both Irish and black bullies who picked on me for being Jewish. I grew to hate the Irish and the blacks but what was funny about it was although I was lonely and alienated because of the treatment I was getting every day in school, it was always weird Irish outcasts who reached out to me, and came to my emotional rescue. My best friends were eccentric Irishmen wit outstanding senses of humor which I believe exists in the soul of the Irish people. Two of these Irish friends were homosexuals, one was flaming and the other was a closet case. They were weirdos but were important figures in my life. Also I began noticing that black girls found me attractive probably because I have big dark eyes like a black man. It started to become obvious to me that black people in general were not really a threat to me at all, and that we actually had a lot in common because blacks are the ultimate outsiders and this is their existential dilemma. years later I rescued two homeless cats. One was all black, and the other was white with black spots. I a very isolated, and a diagnosed schizophrenic, so the cats are important emotional outlets to me. The black cat lives with my ex-girlfriend now, and the white cat who is very old is living with me. Since I love my cat, I often talk to him and sometimes shout out to him affectionate nicknames. Its almost like I am having a fit of love and I start calling him "black spot jackson" and then I will call him "gentle jack mahoney" or "mr Mcgee". I used to call the black cat "blacky Jackson" and sometimes "mr Jones" or "blacky Johnson". I think its fair to assume that when you are experiencing a love attack, and then spontaneously shouting out terms of endearment, the words are the signature of the subconscious, and what I am wondering now is if I must really love the Irish and the blacks even though I am still bitter about the bad treatment and emotional damage I received in childhood. I know that the readers of this post are not psychoanalysts, but given all the facts I have presented what do you make of this? Do I really love the people I thought were my enemies? The fact that you were picked on has NOTHING to do with being Jewish. I'm Jewish, I never mention it and you can't tell by just looking at somebody if they are Jewish or not because over the centuries we became rather white in appearance (Jews are of Middle Eastern origin, in case you didn't know). I also have Asperger's - in fact I was diagnosed with it 3 years ago as an adult while my son was diagnosed with Asperger's also (that's how I first heard about it and then - boom! got diagnosed myself! that was a shock!) Another very important point to you and to anybody else reading it: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP referring to it as a 'very mild version'!! There is no such a thing as the 'mild version' of Asperger's. You either have it or you don't! You can't be a 'little bit black'. Even if you're mixed-race you are not white! It's like if people were ASHAMED of being non-white (nothing wrong with being non-white - in fact, you're far more beautiful usually - I know, my kids are half-black and I'm not just saying it cause they are my kids. People of colour are beautiful, talented and less stuck up and arrogant than us, whites! It's a fact! Maybe, because they have to work for everything a lot harder than we do. Even autistics) No, you're NOT supposed to be a dribbling idiot 'locked in your own little world', devoid of friendships, with glaring eyes and two heads if you have Asperger's! Just because you 'look normal' - it doesn't make you a 'mild version/case of Asperger's' - that's because Asperger's is an invisible difference, it's neurological! And even if you did have a see-through scull and your brain was perfectly visible - nobody could still tell the difference because the difference is in the way your brain is wired and it's practically on microscopic level! So if you do think you have Asperger's - that's what ****es people off (it usually does on subconscious level - that's why they 'turn on you' because humans always turn on anyone who is 'different' - it's programmed in their psyche. Unless people use intellect to work around the subconscious prejudice and try to understand you and accept you (which makes things fine for both parties then). It's not your Jewishness! Come on! Unless you live in a Communist Russia, wear our religious headgear and openly go to Synagogue in which case you may get some drunk shout obscenities at you - you're just not gonna be identified as anything other than white and prejudice against the blacks and the Pakistanis in the Western World is much greater than it is against the Jews or Irish or anyone else. I know - I'm a Jew through and through. If you get your official diagnosis of Asperger's (or even if you won't but suspect you're 'one of us') find out as much as you can about what it means being an Aspie and work around the difficulties through intellectual effort. I found it helpful to study counselling and psychology to understand people better and I no longer have an 'empathy problem' or the lack of that Autistics are supposed to have. In fact I care about people a great deal (always have) but now I have tools to spot how people feel even though it may not come 'naturally' to me - I can still figure it out and respond accordingly. And it'd helped a great deal. You sound very young so you're ahead of the game anyhow as with age comes experience in dealing with people. And don't be ashamed of who you are - there is a great number of positives in being Autistic (Asperger's is Autism without verbal delay and without learning difficulties which often accompanies classic autism although not always). We all matter and we all can get on. I found the saying treat others the way you want to be treated very true, only if you're Autistic - you have to go that extra mile to meet the society. And they do respond positively in the end. You can't change other people, but you can change their reaction to you by understanding yourself and others. That way you CAN CHANGE your immediate environment and perhaps even further away. best! Rozagy (as in Roza - Gee pronounced) www.myspace.com/rozagy |
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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish but I must love these people
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#8
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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish but Imust love these people
Add another person who grew up in social isolation who was teased and
harassed mercilessly at school Add yet another. I came away from my childhood years with some enduring "gifts". A pathological fear of conflict, extreme discomfort in crowds, and problems with self-worth. I've pretty well handled the last item - I now don't really have problems acknowledging my worth. But the other problems are still with me and probably always will be. Having found fellow geeks has helped me alot - they're my 'tribe' so to speak and really the only bunch of people I feel comfortable around without having to get to know them all very well over a long period of time. I have no issues walking up to a fellow geek and just starting to chat - I am virtually incapable of doing this in a 'regular' crowd. Likewise here. I'm still not truly comfortable in crowds of fellow geeks, but I'm a lot closer to it than when I'm in crowds of "normal" people. What has helped me more than anything was my discovery of cats. I never got to spend time with cats until I was in my 30's, then when I did first encounter them I was immediately captivated. No matter how bad my day might be I can count on Harri to climb into my lap for a snuggle when I get home, and that makes everything better. No matter how down I might be, I always knew that as soon as I'd get into bed Sammy would be right there with me to knead me and purr (I'm still searching for him). Cats make the world right again. [1] The more I read about Asperger's syndrome, the more I suspect I have (I don't 'suffer from') a mild version of it - whilst I am no expert, I also suspect that Asperger's in females manifests itself somewhat differently than it does in men. But Geeks and Asperger's people are so strongly correlated (and its genetic - my Dad is a classic Asperger's guy), it would not surprise me at all. I had never heard about Asperger's until I read a mystery novel in which one of the primary characters was afflicted with it. This lead me to do some research into Asperger's, and as I read more I realized that the characteristics I was reading described me! I recognize that there is a broad spectrum of conditions that falls under the "autism" umbrella, and a spectrum of degrees to which people manifest the symptoms of Asperger's. I fall well to the milder side of the spectrum, but I certainly do show the signs. I can't tell you why, but it makes me feel a little bit better to be able to apply a label to my own characteristics. Dan |
#9
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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish but I must love these people
"Granby" wrote in
: I think we all can look back on being picked on for one reason or another.In my case it was the deaf kids from their school harassing the blind kids from mine. No, it was really rough and those in power had to be diligent in the times we were "socialized" together. Never did figure out whose bright idea that was without some training in communication first. Also there was the institutional "haves and have nots". Sixty years later, it is still a bitter pill but, it is 60 years later. Guys i get the feeling the originater of this thread is a troll who was doing some baiting in this group |
#10
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I got picked on by blacks and Irish people for being Jewish butI must love these people
john sumner wrote:
"Granby" wrote in : I think we all can look back on being picked on for one reason or another.In my case it was the deaf kids from their school harassing the blind kids from mine. No, it was really rough and those in power had to be diligent in the times we were "socialized" together. Never did figure out whose bright idea that was without some training in communication first. Also there was the institutional "haves and have nots". Sixty years later, it is still a bitter pill but, it is 60 years later. Guys i get the feeling the originater of this thread is a troll who was doing some baiting in this group Undoubtedly, but it sparked some interesting discussion. I've put a good deal of effort into forgiving and forgetting any childhood bullying and picking on, and am a lot happier as a result. Living well is the best revenge - especially when you have to make an effort to even remember the incidents that were so painful at the time! Cheryl |
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