tessie update

Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil
Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room
overnight with the door closed and when I woke up this morning I could
hear her meowing clear through the door I went into the craft room and
closed the door and let her out and cuddled her and put her into the
litterbox but she wasn't interested in using it... so after about
fifteen minutes I put her back into the carrier (not an easy task -
she seems to develop at least eight legs when you try!) Then we went
and got the groceries and when we came home you could hear her crying
from the front door! John said maybe we should let her go again if she
hated being closed up so much, and I couldn't bear it. It made ME cry
too... I was only trying to help and it broke my heart to think that
I'd made my babies hurt and made the kitten hurt and all for nothing
So John went into the craftroom to see how she was doing and she'd
finally pooped/pee'ed, only of course she was shut in the carrier at
the time so she had no chance to do it in the litterbox Poor little
girl... no wonder she was crying to get out! John took her out of the
carrier and we gave her a new experience - a bath! She wasn't the
least bit amused but she's too small to fight (much) and soon she was
clean, if sopping wet. Then John said that we should let her roam the
apartment because if the girls were going to be mad at her wherever
she was she might as well be free! So they had an interesting standoff
- nobody got clawed or bitten but there's been lots of hissing all
round. I almost think this could work out as a three-cat household,
but we're not going to keep her. Tessie is NOT backing down when
Silver growls at her, and she's not willing to accept her place at the
bottom of the foodchain - she's a kitten that knows no fear, and John
says it would be very bad for our sweet (but dominant) Silver to have
to put up with her in the apartment. John rang a bunch of animal
shelters until he found one that was open on the weekend and we're
taking her in tomorrow. I'm really going to miss her...

The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able to
have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly lapcat to
love. But this experience really showed us Scout and Silver's
limitations... no more cats, no babies, and we must never try to put
them into boarding at the vets or anywhere else... they've been too
traumatised by their kittenhood and we owe it to them to give them our
sole and complete attention for the rest of their lives.

--
~Karen aka Kajikit
Crafts, cats, and chocolate - the three essentials of life
http://www.kajikitscorner.com
Online photo album - http://community.webshots.com/user/kajikit

Karen AKA Kajikit wrote:
Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil

If you give her a name she is YOURS!

says it would be very bad for our sweet (but dominant) Silver to have
to put up with her in the apartment. John rang a bunch of animal
shelters until he found one that was open on the weekend and we're
taking her in tomorrow. I'm really going to miss her...


This is a NO-KILL shelter right?

I'm sorry if you take this the wrong way - but I just LOVE it when
people give up so easily - NOT! I guess you or DH are not poker players
otherwise one of you wouldn't fold so easily. It took a year for the
two adult cats I have to learn to live together. I had to back up and
restart the introduction several times before it finally worked out.
Tessie is a kitten give it time I bet it won't take long until their
respective places are worked out.

"Karen AKA Kajikit" wrote in message
...
Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil
Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room
overnight with the door closed and when I woke up this morning I could
hear her meowing clear through the door I went into the craft room and
closed the door and let her out and cuddled her and put her into the
litterbox but she wasn't interested in using it... so after about
fifteen minutes I put her back into the carrier (not an easy task -
she seems to develop at least eight legs when you try!) Then we went
and got the groceries and when we came home you could hear her crying
from the front door! John said maybe we should let her go again if she
hated being closed up so much, and I couldn't bear it. It made ME cry
too... I was only trying to help and it broke my heart to think that
I'd made my babies hurt and made the kitten hurt and all for nothing
So John went into the craftroom to see how she was doing and she'd
finally pooped/pee'ed, only of course she was shut in the carrier at
the time so she had no chance to do it in the litterbox Poor little
girl... no wonder she was crying to get out! John took her out of the
carrier and we gave her a new experience - a bath! She wasn't the
least bit amused but she's too small to fight (much) and soon she was
clean, if sopping wet. Then John said that we should let her roam the
apartment because if the girls were going to be mad at her wherever
she was she might as well be free! So they had an interesting standoff
- nobody got clawed or bitten but there's been lots of hissing all
round. I almost think this could work out as a three-cat household,
but we're not going to keep her. Tessie is NOT backing down when
Silver growls at her, and she's not willing to accept her place at the
bottom of the foodchain - she's a kitten that knows no fear, and John
says it would be very bad for our sweet (but dominant) Silver to have
to put up with her in the apartment. John rang a bunch of animal
shelters until he found one that was open on the weekend and we're
taking her in tomorrow. I'm really going to miss her...

The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able to
have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly lapcat to
love. But this experience really showed us Scout and Silver's
limitations... no more cats, no babies, and we must never try to put
them into boarding at the vets or anywhere else... they've been too
traumatised by their kittenhood and we owe it to them to give them our
sole and complete attention for the rest of their lives.

--
~Karen aka Kajikit
Crafts, cats, and chocolate - the three essentials of life
http://www.kajikitscorner.com
Online photo album - http://community.webshots.com/user/kajikit

Karen,

I don't quite understand why you are using the carrier, or perhaps I missed
something in your messages. Why don't you simply let Stranger loose in a
room but with the door closed so the cats can't reach other. A litter box,
water, and toys should be provided. That would cut *way* down on the
dissatisfaction and crying. When I adopted Duffy, I also turned on a radio
tuned to a classical station when I left him alone in the room.

If you are interested in another cat, then you really haven't given this
enough time. It often takes a considerable amount of time and patience to
acclimate a new cat, but it is well worth it. I took a full six weeks
before I left Duffy and Holly alone together at all times, but they now get
along beautifully.

I also recommend getting a couple of Feliway diffusers in cases like this.
It's not a cure-all, but Feliway really does reduce stress in many cats and
helps with the introduction.

MaryL

On Sat, 11 Feb 2006 20:19:50 -0600, "MaryL"
-OUT-THE-LITTER wrote:

Karen,

I don't quite understand why you are using the carrier, or perhaps I missed
something in your messages. Why don't you simply let Stranger loose in a
room but with the door closed so the cats can't reach other. A litter box,
water, and toys should be provided. That would cut *way* down on the
dissatisfaction and crying. When I adopted Duffy, I also turned on a radio
tuned to a classical station when I left him alone in the room.

If you are interested in another cat, then you really haven't given this
enough time. It often takes a considerable amount of time and patience to
acclimate a new cat, but it is well worth it. I took a full six weeks
before I left Duffy and Holly alone together at all times, but they now get
along beautifully.

I also recommend getting a couple of Feliway diffusers in cases like this.
It's not a cure-all, but Feliway really does reduce stress in many cats and
helps with the introduction.

MaryL


Hi Karen,

One thing that might help them get along better is to take a towel and
rub Scouty and Silver down with it, and then rub Tessie with it. That
way, they all smell the same (or close to it.) You could also give
them all baths so they smell alike. Definitely get some Rescue Remedy,
and try the Feliway diffusers - they can help. For John's allergys -
try bathing Tessie in Allerpet-C once a week. It is supposed to help
cut down the dander. Brushing every day will help also. I seem to
remember something about bathing them in deionized water, but can't
think of it now.

As other people have pointed out, it can take a long time for cats to
settle in together, but it can work out. I have 17 cats, and they all
get along 99% of the time. The arguements are usually slap fests, with
no blood drawn. Everyone can have a bad day once in a while! G

Good luck, and please give the baby a chance!

Patti

On Sat 11 Feb 2006 08:46:51p, Karen AKA Kajikit wrote in
rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
):


The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able
to have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly
lapcat to love. But this experience really showed us Scout and
Silver's limitations... no more cats, no babies, and we must
never try to put them into boarding at the vets or anywhere
else... they've been too traumatised by their kittenhood and we
owe it to them to give them our sole and complete attention for
the rest of their lives.


Please don't put her out. This reminds me of how Bonnie came to
live with me. Shadow (RB) was FeLV+, Shamrock was my only other cat
then. Bonnie was a small stray/feral that I'd trapped. If I'd left
her alone, I wouldn't have to think about what to do. I didn't.
You didn't either with Tessie. I couldn't imagine taking in another
cat into a situation where she could get sick. But, there were no
other choices. No one would take a feral. It's all worked out, and
I love Bonnie to bits. It took some integration, and then when I
added 2 more kittens, it took even more work. But well worth it.
Shamrock will never get along with Bonnie for some reason, but I
just compensate.

Good luck with the lil won and Silly and Scout.

--
Cheryl

"Karen AKA Kajikit" wrote in message
...
Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil
Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room
overnight with the door closed and when I woke up this morning I could
hear her meowing clear through the door I went into the craft room and
closed the door and let her out and cuddled her and put her into the
litterbox but she wasn't interested in using it... so after about
fifteen minutes I put her back into the carrier (not an easy task -
she seems to develop at least eight legs when you try!)

snip

The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able to
have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly lapcat to
love. But this experience really showed us Scout and Silver's
limitations... no more cats, no babies, and we must never try to put
them into boarding at the vets or anywhere else... they've been too
traumatised by their kittenhood and we owe it to them to give them our
sole and complete attention for the rest of their lives.

--
~Karen aka Kajikit
Crafts, cats, and chocolate - the three essentials of life
http://www.kajikitscorner.com
Online photo album - http://community.webshots.com/user/kajikit

Please stop, take a deep breath, and think about what is happening here.
You are overreacting to an extreme and placing unrealistic expectations on
your cats by expecting them to adjust this soon. This is a situation that
is faced by millions of people who bring another cat into a two-cat
household. With time and patience, it works out. What your cats are doing
right now is absolutely normal, and the problem is that you have not done a
gradual introduction. That is standard protocol. If you will google on the
Internet under "Introducing Cats" or "Cat Introduction," you will find many
sites that discuss this. For starters, here are a couple of sources that
you might want to check out:
http://www.cuhumane.org/topics/catcat.html
http://operationnoblefoster.org/catsanddog.htm

Bringing the cats to the shelter is wrong, especially since you would really
like to have another cat. If you take the cat to a kill shelter, there is a
very high probability that she will be euthanized. Our local shelter
recently published statistics for last year, and 73 percent of cats and dogs
were euthanized. Sadder still, that is actually considered a rather "good"
rate for a kill shelter because many others euthanize a larger percentage.
Please don't let your anxiety cost this kitten her life - or you and John
the great pleasure that she could bring. I wrote a fairly lengthy document
some time ago in which I described in detail how I went through the
introduction with Duffy and Holly. You can see one of the messages at this
location: http://tinyurl.com/c35ob.

*Please* allow more time to work through this process.

MaryL

The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able to
have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly lapcat to
love. But this experience really showed us Scout and Silver's
limitations... no more cats, no babies, and we must never try to put
them into boarding at the vets or anywhere else... they've been too
traumatised by their kittenhood and we owe it to them to give them our
sole and complete attention for the rest of their lives.

It just takes *time*. When I brought home my second kitten my first cat
hissed and hissed for a long time. Then she learned to tolerate her. When I
brought home my third kitten, one of my cats hid behind the couch and seemed
terrified of it and the other cat hissed and hissed again. Guess what they
were doing today? Sleeping together on the couch. Of course they'll still
get in tiffs, but they tolerate each other. You just haven't given this
enough time. And she shouldn't be put in the same room with them yet. Just
let them sniff her under the door of the room you put her in. A small room
will be less overwhelming for her than letting her have the whole run of the
place already anyways. She needs a litter box in there and food and you can
visit with her while your husband stays out with the others and vice versa.
Also, you really should have her vet checked before she has contact with your
other cats.

Don't you know the rule? If you've already named her, you have to keep her
(that was always the rule at the shelter I volunteered at; if you got
attached enough to an animal you were looking after that you named it, then
you always ended up keeping it).

NanCe

--
Message posted via CatKB.com
http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx...dotes/200602/1

Please stop, take a deep breath, and think about what is happening here.
You are overreacting to an extreme and placing unrealistic expectations on
your cats by expecting them to adjust this soon. This is a situation that
is faced by millions of people who bring another cat into a two-cat
household.

I agree with this.

Smokey and Nocturne hissed at each other today, and they've been living
under the same roof for over THREE YEARS. Nox doesn't like him, but
she's learned to tolerate him as long as he doesn't get too close--and
today he tried to jump up on her chair, so there was some hissing and
then he went to sleep somewhere else..

They don't bite or injure each other. They don't have miserable lives
together. They're like siblings--living under the same roof, there's
going to be occasional quibbles. That's normal.

We had to keep Smokey and Nox in separate rooms for over a month before
they learned to coexist in the same room together. We would let Nox
roam the apartment by day while Smokey was in the bedroom; at night,
they switched.

Please don't condemn Tessie to possible euthanasia, and deny yourself
the possibility of ever having a third cat, simply because Scout and
Silver need more than 2 days to get used to a newcomer. Imagine if you
suddenly had a new HUMAN Living in your house...it'd take you a few
weeks to get used to as well!

--Fil

Karen AKA Kajikit wrote:
Her name's Tessie - because I'm sure the cats think she's The Evil
Stranger! We left Tessie shut up in the carrier in the spare room
overnight with the door closed and when I woke up this morning I could
hear her meowing clear through the door I went into the craft room and
closed the door and let her out and cuddled her and put her into the
litterbox but she wasn't interested in using it... so after about
fifteen minutes I put her back into the carrier (not an easy task -
she seems to develop at least eight legs when you try!) Then we went
and got the groceries and when we came home you could hear her crying
from the front door! John said maybe we should let her go again if she
hated being closed up so much, and I couldn't bear it. It made ME cry
too... I was only trying to help and it broke my heart to think that
I'd made my babies hurt and made the kitten hurt and all for nothing
So John went into the craftroom to see how she was doing and she'd
finally pooped/pee'ed, only of course she was shut in the carrier at
the time so she had no chance to do it in the litterbox Poor little
girl... no wonder she was crying to get out! John took her out of the
carrier and we gave her a new experience - a bath! She wasn't the
least bit amused but she's too small to fight (much) and soon she was
clean, if sopping wet. Then John said that we should let her roam the
apartment because if the girls were going to be mad at her wherever
she was she might as well be free! So they had an interesting standoff
- nobody got clawed or bitten but there's been lots of hissing all
round. I almost think this could work out as a three-cat household,
but we're not going to keep her. Tessie is NOT backing down when
Silver growls at her, and she's not willing to accept her place at the
bottom of the foodchain - she's a kitten that knows no fear, and John
says it would be very bad for our sweet (but dominant) Silver to have
to put up with her in the apartment. John rang a bunch of animal
shelters until he found one that was open on the weekend and we're
taking her in tomorrow. I'm really going to miss her...

The saddest thing is that this means that we will never be able to
have a third cat... I really wanted a kitten or a cuddly lapcat to
love. But this experience really showed us Scout and Silver's
limitations... no more cats, no babies, and we must never try to put
them into boarding at the vets or anywhere else... they've been too
traumatised by their kittenhood and we owe it to them to give them our
sole and complete attention for the rest of their lives.

--
~Karen aka Kajikit

Please don't give up so soon. I wish you could have seen this household
when we got Bosley. He hated the other cats, they hated him, he hated
me, they hated me for not hauling him off. Today he is the most loving
cat. He sleeps with me and gets along beautifully with the others. It
took the better part of a month to integrate him.
I agree with that it is very stressful for Silver. It helps a LOT if
you play "musical cats." Bosley stayed locked up in a bedroom, but when
the others would go off and sleep, I'd shut their doors and let Bosley
roam the house. They didn't have a face-to-face for a month.
It just seems awfully unfair for this baby to have a taste of a loving
home and then get hauled off to a shelter. I know, if you can just see
past the next few weeks, you would be so glad that you kept her.Please
consider it.
Sherry

NanCe via CatKB.com u18214@uwe wrote:

You just haven't given this enough time. And she shouldn't be put
in the same room with them yet. Just let them sniff her under the
door of the room you put her in. A small room will be less overwhelming
for her than letting her have the whole run of the place already anyways.
She needs a litter box in there and food and you can visit with her
while your husband stays out with the others and vice versa.

And keeping her in a cat carrier is really unnecessary. No wonder she
was crying miserably! She was trapped inside a little box, and couldn't
get to her litter box - and had to soil herself. If you're already
keeping her shut in a separate room, there is no reason at all to keep
her further confined in a cat carrying box.

I did all the right things when I brought Roxy into my house, back when
Smudge was a year old. Roxy was shut into a bedroom, and Smudge had the
run of the house. They could see shadows of each other, and the occasional
paw, through the crack under the bedroom door. They growled and hissed at
each other through the crack, but otherwise went about their business.

After about two weeks of this, I brought Roxy out into the living room,
*inside the cat carrier*, to let Smudge check her out a litle more. Smudge
would go up to the box, look inside, and hiss. Lots of sniffing and
occasional growls. I would let this go on for maybe 30 minutes, and then
put Roxy back into the bedroom. When Roxy was safely shut in the bedroom,
she *DID NOT* stay in the carrier. This went on for another few days.

Finally, one night, I opened the door and let the two of them meet each
other face to face. At first, they hissed, but then within minutes, they
were chasing each other around the apartment playfully, and became best
buddies.

I really think this is the best way to introduce a new cat. At the time
I didn't have the benefit of Feliway or Rescue Remedy (hadn't heard of
either), and I didn't have to try anything like putting tuna or vanilla
on their noses. I just used the *slow introduction* method, so they'd
have time to get used to there being another cat in the space, before
forcing them to meet each other. I think it had excellent results, because
Roxy and Smudge were good buddies for years.

Now that Licky is in the picture, the dynamics are a bit different, and
Smudge tends to be more of a loner. She and Roxy still get along, but I
wouldn't say they're really good friends anymore. Smudge and Licky don't
get along so well, and I'm forever having to break up their squabbles.

I didn't do as good a job introducing Licky into the household, because
I was fostering kittens a lot at the time, and Licky was one of them. I
didn't take such great care in the introductions because I didn't think I
was going to keep any of the fosters. (Yeah, right. ) I was somewhat
careful, just not as painstaking as I was when introducting Roxy to the
household back in '98.

It really pays to do it right!

Joyce