UPDATE: Mediation

Well, we had the mediation yesterday, and the neighbor actually did
show up. It was pretty awful for the first hour and a half. She
screamed and called me a liar over and over again :-( I was calm and
clear throughout. Finally, she was done screaming, and left an
opening for me to ask her a question. And we began talking. And
actually came to an agreement.

Even though it isn't in the "official" agreement we signed, she also
agreed that she will not complain about me putting out food for the
stray cats as long as I take it up at night, which also is what seems
to be legal so far as I can tell from a reading of the city law. So I
get the feed the strays again -- yeah!

I can't say I'm happy. I don't think I got through to her at all
about taking better care of her animals. And I had to be composed and
not scream and yell back, much as I wanted to. But a fragile peace
has been restored to the neighborhood, and that is worth a lot.

Thanks to everyone for their support and suggestions.

Ginger-lyn
who was watching the cutest thing a bit ago -- Brando was practically
sitting on top of Internet, and Internet was bathing him, complete
with a paw around Brando. They are just too adorable :-)

"Ginger-lyn Summer" wrote in message
...
Well, we had the mediation yesterday, and the neighbor actually did
show up. It was pretty awful for the first hour and a half. She
screamed and called me a liar over and over again :-( I was calm and
clear throughout. Finally, she was done screaming, and left an
opening for me to ask her a question. And we began talking. And
actually came to an agreement.

Even though it isn't in the "official" agreement we signed, she also
agreed that she will not complain about me putting out food for the
stray cats as long as I take it up at night, which also is what seems
to be legal so far as I can tell from a reading of the city law. So I
get the feed the strays again -- yeah!

I can't say I'm happy. I don't think I got through to her at all
about taking better care of her animals. And I had to be composed and
not scream and yell back, much as I wanted to. But a fragile peace
has been restored to the neighborhood, and that is worth a lot.

Thanks to everyone for their support and suggestions.

Ginger-lyn
who was watching the cutest thing a bit ago -- Brando was practically
sitting on top of Internet, and Internet was bathing him, complete
with a paw around Brando. They are just too adorable :-)

I'm glad things turned out as well as they did. You have a right to be
proud of yourself for keeping your cook under extreme provocation. If
you had lost your temper and replied in kind, nothing would have been
gained. However, it must have taken an immense amount of will power to
stay calm. Kudos to you for doing so!

Joy

in article , Ginger-lyn Summer at
wrote on 9/25/03 1:09 PM:

Well, we had the mediation yesterday, and the neighbor actually did
show up. It was pretty awful for the first hour and a half. She
screamed and called me a liar over and over again :-( I was calm and
clear throughout. Finally, she was done screaming, and left an
opening for me to ask her a question. And we began talking. And
actually came to an agreement.

Even though it isn't in the "official" agreement we signed, she also
agreed that she will not complain about me putting out food for the
stray cats as long as I take it up at night, which also is what seems
to be legal so far as I can tell from a reading of the city law. So I
get the feed the strays again -- yeah!

I can't say I'm happy. I don't think I got through to her at all
about taking better care of her animals. And I had to be composed and
not scream and yell back, much as I wanted to. But a fragile peace
has been restored to the neighborhood, and that is worth a lot.

Thanks to everyone for their support and suggestions.

Ginger-lyn
who was watching the cutest thing a bit ago -- Brando was practically
sitting on top of Internet, and Internet was bathing him, complete
with a paw around Brando. They are just too adorable :-)


That sounds to me like a lot better than it could have been. I hope it all
works out.

Hugs
Karen

"Victor M. Martinez" wrote in message
...
I'm glad to hear it went ok. Remember, the worse peace is better than the
best
war.

--
Victor M. Martinez

http://www.che.utexas.edu/~martiv


Words to live by, Victor. Good job, Ginger-lyn!

LAL

"Ginger-lyn Summer" wrote in message
...
Well, we had the mediation yesterday, and the neighbor actually did
show up. It was pretty awful for the first hour and a half. She
screamed and called me a liar over and over again :-(

My case for unfettered strangulation. --JB

I was calm and clear throughout.

Excellent! Difficult to do sometimes. --JB

Finally, she was done screaming, and left an
opening for me to ask her a question.

Had to take a breath, right? --JB

And we began talking. And
actually came to an agreement.

She's going to immolate herself? --JB

Even though it isn't in the "official" agreement we signed, she also
agreed that she will not complain about me putting out food for the
stray cats as long as I take it up at night, which also is what seems
to be legal so far as I can tell from a reading of the city law. So I
get the feed the strays again -- yeah!

Hmmm..... As in, if it's legal, try and stop me. Well, it's movement in
the right direction. So you did make progress. --JB

I can't say I'm happy. I don't think I got through to her at all
about taking better care of her animals.

My case for flogging for the first offence, then drawing and quartering, if
it ever happens again. --JB

And I had to be composed and
not scream and yell back, much as I wanted to. But a fragile peace
has been restored to the neighborhood, and that is worth a lot.

Might I suggest, now that you have established a tenuous peace, you have an
excellent opportunity to take her unaware by inviting her over for coffee
and a chat. Neither of you want to see another deterioration of situation,
so she might buy into the notion of keeping more connected. Might work for
you in a couple of ways. For one, it's hard to stay angry at people you
know. For another, it would be an opportunity for you to do a bit of subtle
soft sell....very carefully, as she's likely going to be suspicious. Wait
for her to ask something ..... well, I'm sure you can figure it out. You
certainly have done well enough thus far. --JB

Thanks to everyone for their support and suggestions.

Ginger-lyn

Do keep us posted. I still have contacts with the Air Force--you know,
bombs, missiles, and stuff. So, if you could come up with the exact
coordinates....

Ya done good, Ginger-lyn
Cheers,
Jack

Ginger-lyn Summer wrote:

Well, we had the mediation yesterday, and the neighbor actually did
show up. It was pretty awful for the first hour and a half. She
screamed and called me a liar over and over again :-( I was calm and
clear throughout. Finally, she was done screaming, and left an
opening for me to ask her a question. And we began talking. And
actually came to an agreement.

Even though it isn't in the "official" agreement we signed, she also
agreed that she will not complain about me putting out food for the
stray cats as long as I take it up at night, which also is what seems
to be legal so far as I can tell from a reading of the city law. So I
get the feed the strays again -- yeah!

I can't say I'm happy. I don't think I got through to her at all
about taking better care of her animals. And I had to be composed and
not scream and yell back, much as I wanted to. But a fragile peace
has been restored to the neighborhood, and that is worth a lot.



Great job, Ginger-lyn. You handled her perfectly. Maybe you can use
this open dialog to enlist her help with the other neighbors. A little
flattery goes a long way, and pointing out what she did right with her
animals will help soften the blow of what she's doing wrong. You'll
bring her and the rest of the neighborhood around. Just hang in there
and remain your sweet self.

Pam S. who has no sweet self

I'm so glad things went relatively well.
Lots of calming hugs, purrs and best wishes for you, Ginger-lyn,
--
Polonca & Soncek

"Ginger-lyn Summer" wrote in message
...
Well, we had the mediation yesterday, and the neighbor actually did
show up. snip
But a fragile peace
has been restored to the neighborhood, and that is worth a lot.

Thanks to everyone for their support and suggestions.

Ginger-lyn
who was watching the cutest thing a bit ago -- Brando was practically
sitting on top of Internet, and Internet was bathing him, complete
with a paw around Brando. They are just too adorable :-)

"JHBennett" had some very interesting things to say
about UPDATE: Mediation:

Do keep us posted. I still have contacts with the Air Force--you know,
bombs, missiles, and stuff. So, if you could come up with the exact
coordinates....

Can I turn you loose on some of my neighbors? The types who think
everyone for a block radius needs to hear their bass-heavy "music", or
who think moving furniture, practicing drums, etc. at 3am [these
specimens live right above me] is a reasonable thing to do?

--
Seanette Blaylock
"You attribute perfect rationality to the whole of humanity, which has
to be one of the most misguided assumptions ever." - Alan Krueger in NANAE
[make obvious correction to address to send e-mail]

Sounds like you had a helluva day yesterday but I'm very happy you were able
to maintain your cool and make some progress. Major recovery purrs and hugs
for you, Ginger-lyn.
Christine
"Ginger-lyn Summer" wrote in message
...
Well, we had the mediation yesterday, and the neighbor actually did
show up. It was pretty awful for the first hour and a half. She
screamed and called me a liar over and over again :-( I was calm and
clear throughout. Finally, she was done screaming, and left an
opening for me to ask her a question. And we began talking. And
actually came to an agreement.

Even though it isn't in the "official" agreement we signed, she also
agreed that she will not complain about me putting out food for the
stray cats as long as I take it up at night, which also is what seems
to be legal so far as I can tell from a reading of the city law. So I
get the feed the strays again -- yeah!

I can't say I'm happy. I don't think I got through to her at all
about taking better care of her animals. And I had to be composed and
not scream and yell back, much as I wanted to. But a fragile peace
has been restored to the neighborhood, and that is worth a lot.

Thanks to everyone for their support and suggestions.

Ginger-lyn
who was watching the cutest thing a bit ago -- Brando was practically
sitting on top of Internet, and Internet was bathing him, complete
with a paw around Brando. They are just too adorable :-)

"Ginger-lyn Summer" wrote in message
...
Well, we had the mediation yesterday, and the neighbor actually did
show up.

Ginger-lyn you are awesome! This may be the beginning of good things to
start happening in your neighborhood. I am purring and praying that peace
and happiness will reign and you will develop the neighborhood that you
want.

Hazel Az