Feeling guilty

Hello fellow ailurophiles...

Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right
decision.

The other night, while removing the birdfeeders in preparation for a
storm, I caught sight of a rather frail-looking black kitty, He
approached me slowly at first. When I gently spoke to him and placed a
bowl of food on the ground for him, he came over. He began rubbing on
my leg, and I began to pet him. He was bone-thin, dirty, and smelled
pretty foul. I noticed that he wanted badly to eat, but something
prevented him. He allowed me to pick him up and I carried him to my
bedroom. I noticed that he was drooling profusely, and more mucus
oozed from his nose. I sat several different kinds of kitty food down,
along with fresh water and another bowl with milk. Try as he might, he
just couldn't really eat anything. He'd get a little morsel in his
mouth, then cough it back out. He was able to get some milk down,
though. I made him a little bed to snooze on, and made a mental note
to make a vet appt. in the morning.

At the vet's the next morning, he was such a little gentleman...didn't
cry, hiss, bite, scratch. Doc took his temp, recorded his weight (8
pounds), and estimated his age at one year.
The doctook a blood sample and came back with horrid news 10 minutes
later: Positive for FELV, FIV, and herpes. The doc gave him no chance
of survival, and foresaw a sad death for the kitty who couldn't eat.
With a heavy heart, I authorized euthanasia. I kissed little Smelly
Cat on his head, and walked out of the exam room. I couldn't stay for
the procedure, I just didn't have the courage.

I know now that lil' Smelly crossed over the Rainbow Bridge soon after
I left his side. I know I did the right thing...didn't I?
I guess I'm more upset with myself for not having the backbone to hold
him while he slipped away.

Even though I only knew him for 15 hours, I still feel that sense of
loss, and that ache in my heart.

Thanks, I just needed to talk to someone who would 'understand'.

PB

I would have felt the same way. Poor little guy

Bless your heart for trying to help.

You saved Lil Smelly from a miserable lonely death, possibly w/great
suffering....and I just feel that even though you had to leave him, the vet
employee, whomever it was, soothed him w/loving pets as his
kitty soul rose above his doomed little body and headed for the RB. You did
the right thing by him.


"Pat" wrote in message
...
I would have felt the same way. Poor little guy

Bless your heart for trying to help.

PlasmaBat wrote:
Hello fellow ailurophiles...

Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right
decision.

snip

You totally did the right thing. Maybe "God", if there is one, sent
Smelly to you, to send his suffering. Life is rough for a cat on the
street. Obviously he was loved at some point in his life - and you
showed him that humans can, indeed, be kind, once again.

-L.

PlasmaBat wrote:

Hello fellow ailurophiles...

Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right
decision.

The other night, while removing the birdfeeders in preparation for a
storm, I caught sight of a rather frail-looking black kitty, He
approached me slowly at first. When I gently spoke to him and placed
a bowl of food on the ground for him, he came over. He began rubbing
on my leg, and I began to pet him. He was bone-thin, dirty, and
smelled pretty foul. I noticed that he wanted badly to eat, but
something prevented him. He allowed me to pick him up and I carried
him to my bedroom. I noticed that he was drooling profusely, and
more mucus oozed from his nose. I sat several different kinds of
kitty food down, along with fresh water and another bowl with milk.
Try as he might, he just couldn't really eat anything. He'd get a
little morsel in his mouth, then cough it back out. He was able to
get some milk down, though. I made him a little bed to snooze on,
and made a mental note to make a vet appt. in the morning.

At the vet's the next morning, he was such a little gentleman...didn't
cry, hiss, bite, scratch. Doc took his temp, recorded his weight (8
pounds), and estimated his age at one year.
The doctook a blood sample and came back with horrid news 10 minutes
later: Positive for FELV, FIV, and herpes. The doc gave him no
chance of survival, and foresaw a sad death for the kitty who
couldn't eat. With a heavy heart, I authorized euthanasia. I kissed
little Smelly Cat on his head, and walked out of the exam room. I
couldn't stay for the procedure, I just didn't have the courage.

I know now that lil' Smelly crossed over the Rainbow Bridge soon after
I left his side. I know I did the right thing...didn't I?
I guess I'm more upset with myself for not having the backbone to hold
him while he slipped away.

Even though I only knew him for 15 hours, I still feel that sense of
loss, and that ache in my heart.

Thanks, I just needed to talk to someone who would 'understand'.

PB

You did the RIGHT thing! Far too many would have left him there, going "Tsk
tsk, isn't it a pity". He had no hope of recovery/rehabilitation and would
have been in more and more discomfort and pain pretty quickly.
This was indeed a merciful death; thank you for taking the trouble to make
his way to the Rainbow Bridge smoother.
--

Cliologist, Philanthropologist, Prothonotary Wibbler,
Paleoconservative, Surface Warrior Squid

Hopitus wrote:

You saved Lil Smelly from a miserable lonely death, possibly w/great
suffering....and I just feel that even though you had to leave him, the vet
employee, whomever it was, soothed him w/loving pets as his
kitty soul rose above his doomed little body and headed for the RB. You did
the right thing by him.

What Hopitus said. It was the only thing you could do for him, and the
vet and nurses would have been kind towards him after you left.

Deb.
--
http://www.scientific-art.com

"He looked a fierce and quarrelsome cat, but claw he never would;
He only bit the ones he loved, because they tasted good." S. Greenfield

"PlasmaBat" wrote in message
oups.com

Hello fellow ailurophiles...

Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right
decision.
Even though I only knew him for 15 hours, I still feel that sense of
loss, and that ache in my heart.

Thanks, I just needed to talk to someone who would 'understand'.////

I went through something very similar in November with a little lad
called Tim.

Then it was pointed out to me by a bhuddist friend of mine that maybe my
job wasn't to nurse Tim back to help, but my job was to help Tim go to
Rainbow Bridge with dignity, knowing at least *someone* cared enough to
mourn his loss.

Although it hurts, you did the right thing.

{{{HUGS}}}

Helen M




--
Posted via Mailgate.ORG Server - http://www.Mailgate.ORG

PlasmaBat wrote:

Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right
decision.
--------------------snip---------------------

You did right by the little man. You saved him from a cold and lonely
death. It's tough to get your hopes up and then have the shock of bad
news, but you did a kind deed. Poor little kitty! May he find a
peaceful path to walk.

Regards and Purrs,
O J

You definitely did the right thing. And thanks to you, the poor little
kitty had 15 hours of compassion at the end of his life, and a peaceful
passing. Without your intervention, he would have had NO compassion at the
end and his passing wouldn't have been gentle and pain-free.

I agree with prior posts in this thread, that observed that maybe you were
MEANT to be there for him at the end. Not to effect a cure, which is
beyond our ability at this time, but to ensure that he knew kindness and
peace as he departed for the RB... where, I am sure, he'll be waiting for
you when the time comes.

Donna, Captain, and Stanley

Yes, you absolutely did the right thing!

Joy

((((((((((PB))))))))))

"PlasmaBat" wrote in message
oups.com...
Hello fellow ailurophiles...

Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right
decision.

The other night, while removing the birdfeeders in preparation for a
storm, I caught sight of a rather frail-looking black kitty, He
approached me slowly at first. When I gently spoke to him and placed a
bowl of food on the ground for him, he came over. He began rubbing on
my leg, and I began to pet him. He was bone-thin, dirty, and smelled
pretty foul. I noticed that he wanted badly to eat, but something
prevented him. He allowed me to pick him up and I carried him to my
bedroom. I noticed that he was drooling profusely, and more mucus
oozed from his nose. I sat several different kinds of kitty food down,
along with fresh water and another bowl with milk. Try as he might, he
just couldn't really eat anything. He'd get a little morsel in his
mouth, then cough it back out. He was able to get some milk down,
though. I made him a little bed to snooze on, and made a mental note
to make a vet appt. in the morning.

At the vet's the next morning, he was such a little gentleman...didn't
cry, hiss, bite, scratch. Doc took his temp, recorded his weight (8
pounds), and estimated his age at one year.
The doctook a blood sample and came back with horrid news 10 minutes
later: Positive for FELV, FIV, and herpes. The doc gave him no chance
of survival, and foresaw a sad death for the kitty who couldn't eat.
With a heavy heart, I authorized euthanasia. I kissed little Smelly
Cat on his head, and walked out of the exam room. I couldn't stay for
the procedure, I just didn't have the courage.

I know now that lil' Smelly crossed over the Rainbow Bridge soon after
I left his side. I know I did the right thing...didn't I?
I guess I'm more upset with myself for not having the backbone to hold
him while he slipped away.

Even though I only knew him for 15 hours, I still feel that sense of
loss, and that ache in my heart.

Thanks, I just needed to talk to someone who would 'understand'.

PB