Help 5yr old cat submissive urination / defecation.

I trully do not know if anything can be done at this point. Figured
will throw it up there, see if someone had simmilar problem.

The cat is 5 years old and extremely submissive. Its afraid of
everything and anything and recently it started 'spilling outside'.
The cycle goes:
the cat gets scared
I pet the cat, - she likes it
I pick up the cat, put it on my lap and continue petting, sometimes
she purrs in respones
all of a sudden i feel the warm stuff all over my leg.... lift up the
cat, and there she is peeing right on me. I begin to get ticked off.
Throw the cat on the couch and proceed to clean up. Come back to move
the cat from the spot where it lended all of a sudden it starts taking
a dump right there. The alternative, it gets in the middle of the
floor and as I approach it starts... well you got the picture.

This happened on more then one occasion..

Has anyone seen anything like it?

"Arthur Mnev" wrote [a bunch of stuff about a
"submissive" cat.

Arthur. History, please. Where was she born, how long have you had her, etc.
etc. etc.

"Mary" wrote in message . com...
"Arthur Mnev" wrote [a bunch of stuff about a
"submissive" cat.

Arthur. History, please. Where was she born, how long have you had her, etc.
etc. etc.

Mary, thanks for the reply. I'm Arthur's fiancee.
My older cat, Princess, who is going through this situation, is a very
emotional (shy and scarred most of the times) cat. She's about 5
years old (if not older). I adopted her from a lady who claimed to
work for the local Maine Coon rescue about 4 years ago (she's nowhere
to be reached like 99.9% of the times). At that time, the lady told
us that Princess was 1 year old. She has always been a very shy and
scarred cat. There was nothing we could do to bring out her cat's
personalities. I had never asked for Princess' history as I had
always been a dog person prior to adopting Princess. Initially,
Arthur was getting along with Princess, and in return, Princess adored
him. That was until last year when we adopted Miyako.
Last year, a friend of ours gave us a kitten -Miyako- a pure breed
Maine Coon, whose parents' won a lot of championships in Japan.
Princess resented Miya at the beginning. She would hide on top of the
cabinets, hissing at everybody who tried to approach her. She was
extremely upset at Arthur, and was showing him all kinds of attitude
(this was the first time ever I heard her hissing at anybody). But as
time goes by, both Princess and Miya get along better. They still
don't sleep together unless we're present. But they play together.
I don't exactly know what happened to Princess. The "situation"
started after Princess came back from the grooming saloon. When I
picked her up, I didn't realized that the groomer had cut (some of
)her left whiskers !!! I was extremely upset, fearing that this would
hurt Princess. Friends told us to not worry as whiskers would grow
back.
After dropping Princess off at Arthur's place that weekend (she and
Miya have been staying at Arthur's place temporarily), the "situation"
started. Then it stopped for 3 weeks. Everytime I visit, I'd make
sure that I'd pay more attention to Princess than to Miya (Miya's just
more easygoing, happy-go-lucky kinda gal). Princess displays no
problems whenever I'm around. Last weekend was the first time that I
didn't stop by in 2 months (other weekends when I didn't stop by,
Princess managed to be fine), and the "situation" started for the
second round. Both Arthur and I have gone back and forth to find
things that can potentially make Princess feels threatened. We came
up with nothing. There isn't anything new in the house, no new
perfume, no new food, no new litter. Princess has always been a very
neat cat. She even sits properly (with both front paws alligned at
all times).

Any help is greatly appreciated. I know that Arthur's patience is
running a bit low due to all kinds of stress (work related, etc).
Princess had proven to be challenging, but we do love her dearly. We
adopted Miya, hoping that the lil cat would bring out Princess'
personalities (not the other way around). But this doesn't seem to
help either.

Thank you for your help,
Theressa

"Mary" wrote in message . com...
"Arthur Mnev" wrote [a bunch of stuff about a
"submissive" cat.

Arthur. History, please. Where was she born, how long have you had her, etc.
etc. etc.

Mary, thanks for the reply. I'm Arthur's fiancee.
My older cat, Princess, who is going through this situation, is a very
emotional (shy and scarred most of the times) cat. She's about 5
years old (if not older). I adopted her from a lady who claimed to
work for the local Maine Coon rescue about 4 years ago (she's nowhere
to be reached like 99.9% of the times). At that time, the lady told
us that Princess was 1 year old. She has always been a very shy and
scarred cat. There was nothing we could do to bring out her cat's
personalities. I had never asked for Princess' history as I had
always been a dog person prior to adopting Princess. Initially,
Arthur was getting along with Princess, and in return, Princess adored
him. That was until last year when we adopted Miyako.
Last year, a friend of ours gave us a kitten -Miyako- a pure breed
Maine Coon, whose parents' won a lot of championships in Japan.
Princess resented Miya at the beginning. She would hide on top of the
cabinets, hissing at everybody who tried to approach her. She was
extremely upset at Arthur, and was showing him all kinds of attitude
(this was the first time ever I heard her hissing at anybody). But as
time goes by, both Princess and Miya get along better. They still
don't sleep together unless we're present. But they play together.
I don't exactly know what happened to Princess. The "situation"
started after Princess came back from the grooming saloon. When I
picked her up, I didn't realized that the groomer had cut (some of
)her left whiskers !!! I was extremely upset, fearing that this would
hurt Princess. Friends told us to not worry as whiskers would grow
back.
After dropping Princess off at Arthur's place that weekend (she and
Miya have been staying at Arthur's place temporarily), the "situation"
started. Then it stopped for 3 weeks. Everytime I visit, I'd make
sure that I'd pay more attention to Princess than to Miya (Miya's just
more easygoing, happy-go-lucky kinda gal). Princess displays no
problems whenever I'm around. Last weekend was the first time that I
didn't stop by in 2 months (other weekends when I didn't stop by,
Princess managed to be fine), and the "situation" started for the
second round. Both Arthur and I have gone back and forth to find
things that can potentially make Princess feels threatened. We came
up with nothing. There isn't anything new in the house, no new
perfume, no new food, no new litter. Princess has always been a very
neat cat. She even sits properly (with both front paws alligned at
all times).

Any help is greatly appreciated. I know that Arthur's patience is
running a bit low due to all kinds of stress (work related, etc).
Princess had proven to be challenging, but we do love her dearly. We
adopted Miya, hoping that the lil cat would bring out Princess'
personalities (not the other way around). But this doesn't seem to
help either.

Thank you for your help,
Theressa

On 5 Jun 2004 22:35:30 -0700, (Arthur Mnev)
wrote:

I trully do not know if anything can be done at this point. Figured
will throw it up there, see if someone had simmilar problem.

The cat is 5 years old and extremely submissive. Its afraid of
everything and anything and recently it started 'spilling outside'.
The cycle goes:
the cat gets scared
I pet the cat, - she likes it
I pick up the cat, put it on my lap and continue petting, sometimes
she purrs in respones
all of a sudden i feel the warm stuff all over my leg.... lift up the
cat, and there she is peeing right on me. I begin to get ticked off.
Throw the cat on the couch and proceed to clean up. Come back to move
the cat from the spot where it lended all of a sudden it starts taking
a dump right there. The alternative, it gets in the middle of the
floor and as I approach it starts... well you got the picture.

This happened on more then one occasion..

Has anyone seen anything like it?
It sounds like an abused kitty. She is frightened and has no way to
protect itself. What is her history? Was she abused before you got
her or is it more recent?

In article ,
enlightened us with...
I trully do not know if anything can be done at this point. Figured
will throw it up there, see if someone had simmilar problem.

The cat is 5 years old and extremely submissive. Its afraid of
everything and anything and recently it started 'spilling outside'.
The cycle goes:
the cat gets scared
I pet the cat, - she likes it
I pick up the cat, put it on my lap and continue petting, sometimes
she purrs in respones
all of a sudden i feel the warm stuff all over my leg.... lift up the
cat, and there she is peeing right on me. I begin to get ticked off.
Throw the cat on the couch and proceed to clean up. Come back to move
the cat from the spot where it lended all of a sudden it starts taking
a dump right there. The alternative, it gets in the middle of the
floor and as I approach it starts... well you got the picture.

This happened on more then one occasion..

Has anyone seen anything like it?


Yes - in abused animals.

The cycle, as the cat sees it...

I get scared. I want to be comforted. A human comes over to me and picks
me up. I rather like it.
I'm still scared and I lose a little control. The human gets angry,
scaring me more (reminding me of past hurts?). I lose more control. The
human is very angry. I can tell by his body language, smell, and tone of
voice. I don't know what to do. I lose bowel control.
The next time I get scared, I feel this desire for comfort, but I know
that after the petting, the human gets angry. I don't know whether to
approach or not. In my confusion and anticipation, I lose control in the
middle of the floor. The human gets angry...

You need to break the cycle. Read her body language. You can tell if she
is scared enough to lose control if you pay attention. DO NOT GET ANGRY.
It makes it WAY worse.
*Before* she loses control, leave.
Approach her. Get as close as possible, but not so close that she loses
it. Make nice. Coo and talk in a high pitched, friendly voice. Toss some
treats if she likes them. Do not make too much eye contact as it is
threatening. Do not lean over her - bend down in front of her and hold
your hand out and let her come to you. If she looks like she's going to
lose it, leave the room immediately (NOT angrily). If she doesn't, let
her rub you a couple times and leave anyway with a smile and a kind
word.
If you do manage to pick her up without her losing it, put her down
immediately. Before she has a chance to pee. Leave the room with a smile
and a good word. She will learn that being held doesn't lead to your
anger in time and you'll be able to hold her for longer periods.

If you miss and she loses it, calmly and gently (not angrily; kindly)
put her in another room and go back and clean up. She can't help it.
Your anger won't help. You'll be a bit peeved when you're cleaning, so
put her somewhere she won't be exposed to that side of you. She needs to
trust you, not fear you. She needs to trust that you will love her and
never hurt her.

Remember - it's not her fault. Don't blame her or get angry with her for
something she can't help. She needs more confidence, not anger and
blame. Think of her as a child - you wouldn't punish a frightened child
for losing control, would you? (If you would, please rehome the cat and
any other living beings you are currently caring for.)

Lastly, patience, patience, patience. The patience of a god. Really. If
you can't do that some days (hard day at work, stress, whatever), don't
interact with her at all that day. Better to leave her alone completely
than to keep going in that cycle. If you think you will never have the
patience, please consider rehoming her to someone who does.


--
--
~kaeli~
Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace

"kaeli" wrote in message
...
The cycle, as the cat sees it...
(regretfully snipped)
Lastly, patience, patience, patience. The patience of a god. Really. If
you can't do that some days (hard day at work, stress, whatever), don't
interact with her at all that day. Better to leave her alone completely
than to keep going in that cycle. If you think you will never have the
patience, please consider rehoming her to someone who does.
~kaeli~
Keli,
Sorry I had to snip, or my newsreader would not send. This is really great
advice. I believe the cat has a medical condition and/or has been seriously
abused, either during or previous to her present home. She needs constant
kindness and understanding. I hope the O.P. follows your advice.
Annie

In article ,
enlightened us with...
Sorry I had to snip, or my newsreader would not send. This is really great
advice. I believe the cat has a medical condition and/or has been seriously
abused, either during or previous to her present home. She needs constant
kindness and understanding. I hope the O.P. follows your advice.
Annie


*slaps self on forehead*

I should have mentioned that possibility.
Add taking the cat to the vet to rule out physical problems to that list
of mine.

Thanks Annie.

--
--
~kaeli~
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace

In article ,
enlightened us with...
Sorry I had to snip, or my newsreader would not send. This is really great
advice. I believe the cat has a medical condition and/or has been seriously
abused, either during or previous to her present home. She needs constant
kindness and understanding. I hope the O.P. follows your advice.
Annie


*slaps self on forehead*

I should have mentioned that possibility.
Add taking the cat to the vet to rule out physical problems to that list
of mine.

Thanks Annie.

--
--
~kaeli~
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace

"kaeli" wrote in message
...
The cycle, as the cat sees it...
(regretfully snipped)
Lastly, patience, patience, patience. The patience of a god. Really. If
you can't do that some days (hard day at work, stress, whatever), don't
interact with her at all that day. Better to leave her alone completely
than to keep going in that cycle. If you think you will never have the
patience, please consider rehoming her to someone who does.
~kaeli~
Keli,
Sorry I had to snip, or my newsreader would not send. This is really great
advice. I believe the cat has a medical condition and/or has been seriously
abused, either during or previous to her present home. She needs constant
kindness and understanding. I hope the O.P. follows your advice.
Annie