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Excerpts from a Captive Pet's Daily Diary
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep my strenth. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped it's headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of, however they merely made condescending comments about what a "Good little Hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow.... but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain he reports my ever move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe........ for now! Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary 8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30am Car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing! 11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! ************************************************** *** E-mail address altered to foil spam. Reply to news groups for all to see please. _ / ) (\__/) ( ( ) ( ) ) ={ }= / / ) `-------/ / ( / \ | ,'\ , ,' `-'\ ,---\ | \ _) ) `. \ / (__/ ) ) (_/ (\__/) )oo( ={ }= ************************************************** *** |
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