Six Things That Are NOT FAIR!

1) Two-legs go out to dinner and come back smelling of fish, but Don't
Share.

2) Two-legs who order out on Game Sundays, get sashimi, and Don't Share.

3) Two-legs who have decreed that certain parts of what is really My
House, like the garage and the back porch, are Off Limits - and enforce
the prohibition using the elitist and entirely unfair argument, "Because
I'm bigger than you are!!" This is especially unfair because I just
*know* there are Things out there, living in the nooks and crannies
among all those trunks and boxes that really should be stored somewhere
else but aren't, that need to be hunted. [1]

4) Two-legs who decide they have to get up to do something else just
when a Cat has gotten herself a nice comfortable Lap.

5) And, speaking of Laps, Two-legs who would rather play with stupid
machines like computers when a Cat wants a Lap - again using the elitist
and unfair argument that he's bigger than I am.

6) Two-legs who do not believe that a food dish is truly empty when a
Cat can see even the smallest bit of the bottom of the bowl.

7) Two-legs who won't even let a Cat poke her nose out the front door
on the entirely specious excuse that she has been declawed - and enforce
it with that detestable "Because I'm bigger than you are!" I still have
my fangs, don't I? And I'm related to lions, tigers and panthers? Why
should I be afraid? [2]

Leila

[1] In my own defense on this one, the Things that need to be hunted
about which Leila complains are geckos, anoles native to both Cuba and
Florida, and blue-tailed skinks. The tails of the last named come off
easily, twitch in a very satisfying manner when detached, are very
tasty, and carry an hallucinogen at least as potent as LSD that might do
permanent damage to the feline brain (or might not - the chance seems to
be about 50-50 - but *I* am not going to take those odds!).

[2] Because of rattle snakes, coral snakes, water moccasins, and the
pair of red-shouldered hawks that have been nesting in the neighborhood
for years and are easily large enough to carry way a house cat, that's
why!

Baird

--
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and in a divided country
that's enough to win elections. -Bill Steele

"Baird Stafford" wrote in message
...
1) Two-legs go out to dinner and come back smelling of fish, but
Don't
Share.

2) Two-legs who order out on Game Sundays, get sashimi, and Don't
Share.

3) Two-legs who have decreed that certain parts of what is really
My
House, like the garage and the back porch, are Off Limits - and
enforce
the prohibition using the elitist and entirely unfair argument,
"Because
I'm bigger than you are!!" This is especially unfair because I just
*know* there are Things out there, living in the nooks and crannies
among all those trunks and boxes that really should be stored
somewhere
else but aren't, that need to be hunted. [1]

4) Two-legs who decide they have to get up to do something else
just
when a Cat has gotten herself a nice comfortable Lap.

5) And, speaking of Laps, Two-legs who would rather play with
stupid
machines like computers when a Cat wants a Lap - again using the
elitist
and unfair argument that he's bigger than I am.

6) Two-legs who do not believe that a food dish is truly empty when
a
Cat can see even the smallest bit of the bottom of the bowl.

7) Two-legs who won't even let a Cat poke her nose out the front
door
on the entirely specious excuse that she has been declawed - and
enforce
it with that detestable "Because I'm bigger than you are!" I still
have
my fangs, don't I? And I'm related to lions, tigers and panthers?
Why
should I be afraid? [2]

Leila

[1] In my own defense on this one, the Things that need to be
hunted
about which Leila complains are geckos, anoles native to both Cuba
and
Florida, and blue-tailed skinks. The tails of the last named come
off
easily, twitch in a very satisfying manner when detached, are very
tasty, and carry an hallucinogen at least as potent as LSD that
might do
permanent damage to the feline brain (or might not - the chance
seems to
be about 50-50 - but *I* am not going to take those odds!).

[2] Because of rattle snakes, coral snakes, water moccasins, and
the
pair of red-shouldered hawks that have been nesting in the
neighborhood
for years and are easily large enough to carry way a house cat,
that's
why!

Baird


OK on the rest, but mine insist that sashimi is fair game. Or they
will explain by one of the special means cats seem to have at their
disposal.

Jo

Jofirey wrote:
"Baird Stafford" wrote in message
...
1) Two-legs go out to dinner and come back smelling of fish, but
Don't
Share.

2) Two-legs who order out on Game Sundays, get sashimi, and Don't
Share.

3) Two-legs who have decreed that certain parts of what is really
My
House, like the garage and the back porch, are Off Limits - and
enforce
the prohibition using the elitist and entirely unfair argument,
"Because
I'm bigger than you are!!" This is especially unfair because I just
*know* there are Things out there, living in the nooks and crannies
among all those trunks and boxes that really should be stored
somewhere
else but aren't, that need to be hunted. [1]

4) Two-legs who decide they have to get up to do something else
just
when a Cat has gotten herself a nice comfortable Lap.

5) And, speaking of Laps, Two-legs who would rather play with
stupid
machines like computers when a Cat wants a Lap - again using the
elitist
and unfair argument that he's bigger than I am.

6) Two-legs who do not believe that a food dish is truly empty when
a
Cat can see even the smallest bit of the bottom of the bowl.

7) Two-legs who won't even let a Cat poke her nose out the front
door
on the entirely specious excuse that she has been declawed - and
enforce
it with that detestable "Because I'm bigger than you are!" I still
have
my fangs, don't I? And I'm related to lions, tigers and panthers?
Why
should I be afraid? [2]

Leila

[1] In my own defense on this one, the Things that need to be
hunted
about which Leila complains are geckos, anoles native to both Cuba
and
Florida, and blue-tailed skinks. The tails of the last named come
off
easily, twitch in a very satisfying manner when detached, are very
tasty, and carry an hallucinogen at least as potent as LSD that
might do
permanent damage to the feline brain (or might not - the chance
seems to
be about 50-50 - but *I* am not going to take those odds!).

[2] Because of rattle snakes, coral snakes, water moccasins, and
the
pair of red-shouldered hawks that have been nesting in the
neighborhood
for years and are easily large enough to carry way a house cat,
that's
why!

Baird


OK on the rest, but mine insist that sashimi is fair game. Or they
will explain by one of the special means cats seem to have at their
disposal.

Jo


I have never heard of sashimi. What is it? MLB

Baird Stafford wrote:

7) Two-legs who won't even let a Cat poke her nose out the front door

Leila seems to have a bit of trouble with numbers.

[1] In my own defense on this one, the Things that need to be hunted
about which Leila complains are geckos, anoles native to both Cuba and
Florida, and blue-tailed skinks. The tails of the last named come off
easily, twitch in a very satisfying manner when detached, are very
tasty, and carry an hallucinogen at least as potent as LSD that might do
permanent damage to the feline brain (or might not - the chance seems to
be about 50-50 - but *I* am not going to take those odds!).

Yikes, you certainly don't want her eating that!!

Where do you live, btw?

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

the Things that need to be hunted about which Leila complains are
geckos, anoles native to both Cuba and Florida, and blue-tailed
skinks. The tails of the last named come off easily, twitch in
a very satisfying manner when detached, are very tasty, and carry
an hallucinogen at least as potent as LSD that might do permanent
damage to the feline brain (or might not - the chance seems to
be about 50-50 - but *I* am not going to take those odds!).

I think that's the most amazing biological defence strategy
I've ever heard of. "Okay, predator, have an appetizer"...
"MMM!... hey WOW man LOOK AT aLL tHe BrIgHt LiGHtS!!!!!".

==== j a c k at c a m p i n . m e . u k === http://www.campin.me.uk ====
Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739 557
CD-ROMs and free stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic fonts

Jack Campin - bogus address wrote:

the Things that need to be hunted about which Leila complains are
geckos, anoles native to both Cuba and Florida, and blue-tailed
skinks. The tails of the last named come off easily, twitch in
a very satisfying manner when detached, are very tasty, and carry
an hallucinogen at least as potent as LSD that might do permanent
damage to the feline brain (or might not - the chance seems to
be about 50-50 - but *I* am not going to take those odds!).

I think that's the most amazing biological defence strategy
I've ever heard of. "Okay, predator, have an appetizer"...
"MMM!... hey WOW man LOOK AT aLL tHe BrIgHt LiGHtS!!!!!".

The only thing is, hallucinogens usually take a little while to take
effect when eaten. (Yes, I do know from experience.) By that point,
the prey animal has already been eaten. Although I suppose the prey's
coloring could become a warning to stay away, as happens with many
poisonous animals.

Other animals have hallucinogenic secretions, too - there's a frog
(or is it a toad?) that lives in the US southwest that has some sort
of hallucinogenic substance on its skin. Some people are known to
lick the toad to get high. I'm sure someone here remembers the name
of that animal. (Which would be good because I can't even remember
which species it is!)

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

Other animals have hallucinogenic secretions, too - there's a frog
(or is it a toad?) that lives in the US southwest that has some sort
of hallucinogenic substance on its skin. Some people are known to
lick the toad to get high. I'm sure someone here remembers the name
of that animal. (Which would be good because I can't even remember
which species it is!)

Bufo marinus, the cane toad. See the Wikipedia entry and do try to
see the film, you won't regret it.

==== j a c k at c a m p i n . m e . u k === http://www.campin.me.uk ====
Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739 557
CD-ROMs and free stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic fonts

On Oct 11, 1:45*pm, Baird Stafford wrote:
1) *Two-legs go out to dinner and come back smelling of fish, but Don't
Share.

2) *Two-legs who order out on Game Sundays, get sashimi, and Don't Share.

3) *Two-legs who have decreed that certain parts of what is really My
House, like the garage and the back porch, are Off Limits - and enforce
the prohibition using the elitist and entirely unfair argument, "Because
I'm bigger than you are!!" *This is especially unfair because I just
*know* there are Things out there, living in the nooks and crannies
among all those trunks and boxes that really should be stored somewhere
else but aren't, that need to be hunted. [1]

4) *Two-legs who decide they have to get up to do something else just
when a Cat has gotten herself a nice comfortable Lap.

5) *And, speaking of Laps, Two-legs who would rather play with stupid
machines like computers when a Cat wants a Lap - again using the elitist
and unfair argument that he's bigger than I am.

6) *Two-legs who do not believe that a food dish is truly empty when a
Cat can see even the smallest bit of the bottom of the bowl.

7) *Two-legs who won't even let a Cat poke her nose out the front door
on the entirely specious excuse that she has been declawed - and enforce
it with that detestable "Because I'm bigger than you are!" *I still have
my fangs, don't I? *And I'm related to lions, tigers and panthers? *Why
should I be afraid? [2]

Leila

[1] *In my own defense on this one, the Things that need to be hunted
about which Leila complains are geckos, anoles native to both Cuba and
Florida, and blue-tailed skinks. *The tails of the last named come off
easily, twitch in a very satisfying manner when detached, are very
tasty, and carry an hallucinogen at least as potent as LSD that might do
permanent damage to the feline brain (or might not - the chance seems to
be about 50-50 - but *I* am not going to take those odds!).

[2] *Because of rattle snakes, coral snakes, water moccasins, and the
pair of red-shouldered hawks that have been nesting in the neighborhood
for years and are easily large enough to carry way a house cat, that's
why!

Baird

--
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and in a divided country
that's enough to win elections. -Bill Steele

Oh we hear you about the issue of Laps. Our slave doesn't spend
nearly enough time in the Comfy Chair where we can get at her lap.
And as for the food.... ALL Two Legs are hopeless about that.

We also take issue with the way she'll suddenly scoop us up and cuddle
us. One minute we're sitting minding our own business, the next we're
dangling several feet in the air, being hugged and kissed and cooed
at. And you guessed it--the excuse is "Because I'm Bigger Than You.

Nina and Francesca

Jack Campin - bogus address wrote:

Bufo marinus, the cane toad. See the Wikipedia entry and do try to
see the film, you won't regret it.

I take it you mean "Cane Toads: An Unnatural History"? If so, I have
just added it to my Netflix queue.

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

Amazing how someone hasn't figured out a way to sauté or deep fry them for
human consumption.
"Jack Campin - bogus address" wrote in message
...
the Things that need to be hunted about which Leila complains are
geckos, anoles native to both Cuba and Florida, and blue-tailed
skinks. The tails of the last named come off easily, twitch in
a very satisfying manner when detached, are very tasty, and carry
an hallucinogen at least as potent as LSD that might do permanent
damage to the feline brain (or might not - the chance seems to
be about 50-50 - but *I* am not going to take those odds!).

I think that's the most amazing biological defence strategy
I've ever heard of. "Okay, predator, have an appetizer"...
"MMM!... hey WOW man LOOK AT aLL tHe BrIgHt LiGHtS!!!!!".

==== j a c k at c a m p i n . m e . u k === http://www.campin.me.uk
====
Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739
557
CD-ROMs and free stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic
fonts