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Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing



 
 
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  #1  
Old August 14th 08, 06:50 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Shiral
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 731
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing

Watching the Gymnasts and the topic of Feline Olympics gave me the
idea below: What if Pouncing were an Olympic Event?

Good morning I’m Tabby Barncat, and welcome to the Great Living Room,
our venue for Indoor Olympic Pouncing. This morning, we have the
medal round for Long Distance Pouncing upon Small Moving Objects, our
most challenging indoor event. I’m joined by Pouncing expert, Tufty
Pawasher, who took the gold medal in this event in 1992. Tufty,
welcome and who do you think are our strongest medal contestants, this
morning?

Tufty: Thank you, Tabby, this is shaping up into a very exciting final
round. In our qualifying round, the Russian Blues finished on top and
are heavily favored to win the gold, but were given tough competition
from the Siamese team who finished in second place thanks to the high
scores of Siamese Team leader, Kwan Yin. But we should not discount
the Persian contingent, despite their disappointing fourth place
finish, yesterday. The Havana browns could also pull off a
surprising upset for the bronze medal. But with modest pride, I must
point out the British Shorthairs could sneak in there, too. They just
have to keep their focus.

Tabby: And I have a feeling the U.S. Calico team might not medal, but
nevertheless pull off a strong fifth place finish. The team has made
great improvements since kittenhood.

Tufty: Well yes, but remember Tabby, the judges are keeping an eye on
conformation and technical finesse, today. The grace and elegance of
the pounce are as important as accuracy.

Tabby: You’re quite right, Tufty. For our audience, could you go over
the technical aspects of competition pouncing? What will the judges be
looking for?

Tufty: First phase is eye contact; judges want to see a contestant who
sees the mark quickly, second is the setup, which is the crouch, which
should also be prompt. Competition rules state the head and front of
the body should be a little lower than the hindquarters, the head and
neck a bit extended in front of the forepaws, while maintaining focus
on the target. Then there is the preparation for takeoff with the
important butt wiggle and tail lash, then the spring. The spring
should be quick and powerful, with the forelegs extending to grasp the
target. There is a five tenth point deduction if the contestant does
not hit the target with at least one paw on their first try—it’s
essential to stick the landing. There are three sets of marks, first
for conformation and elegance, second for speed plus power, third for
accuracy. It’s a rare cat who can combine all three things in a single
pounce. Of course the contestants each get a pounce in each of the
three rounds.

Tabby: Thanks, Tufty. What about wind direction and speed?

Tufty: Oh that’s only a factor in the Outdoor Pouncing competition
we’ll see next week. There, there is a danger that the contestants
will be distracted from the real target and pounce on a stray item.
Indoors, headwinds and tailwinds really aren’t a factor—the venue is
much more controlled. And ah, here comes our first contestant. The
competition order is determined by a random draw. Our first
contestant is Kwan Yin, one of the Siamese team Pouncers. A new talent
but very promising. Look at that upright tail and look at the
placement of the paws in a nearly straight line as she walks. She’s
going over to the warmup scratching post—no wait, she’s seen the
target, and she’s going into her crouch already. Will you look at her
focus! Her eyes are right on that tassel!

Tabby: Yes, Kwan Yin is showing excellent conformation, here; her eyes
are right on the target, her ears are pricked and her neck extended,
front legs nicely tucked under. Her hindquarters are nicely elevated,
and her tail is pointing straight up.

Tufty: Now she’s raising her hindquarters, look at her go! That butt
wiggle is almost a shimmy! Nice tail lash, too although her tail is
drooping a little more than I’d like to see—whoops there she goes, and
she has it! She nailed that tassel and stuck the landing. Excellent
first round pounce for Kwan Yin. A challenge has been issued to the
other contestants! She should get the highest marks for elegance and
accuracy, but I expect they’ll mark her down a bit for speed. Yes, a
very good combined score of 15.6 for the first round pounce.

Tabby: Kwan Yin is still gnawing on the tassel, there’s a bit of a
tussle to get her away from it to prepare for the next contestant. Oh
my, she’s having fun. No performance anxiety today from Kwan Yin!

Tufty: Next up we have Boris from the Russian Blue team. This will be
his last Olympics, and he’d really like to finish with a gold medal.

Tabby: What is his pouncing style, Tufty?

Tufty: He’s a speed king, really—very workmanlike. His mother was a
mouser at a vodka brewery, so he started pouncing as soon as his eyes
opened, practically. He almost has to slow down in competition so that
the judges can see his conformation. He’s not the most graceful or
elegant, but you can hardly beat him on the speed and accuracy scores.
He’s playing it cool for now, but you can be sure he’s looking
everywhere for that tassel—ah, he sees it—wow! He’s already made his
pounce—and misses! This is an incredible mistake from him! No set-up,
no chance to raise his conformation and technique scores. I think the
pressure of competition pouncing has finally made him crack. Oh, he’s
angry, look at him lashing his tail! This is a huge disappointment.
With the competition here today, I don’t know if he can make it up in
the second and third rounds, although he still could medal if the
other contestants make serious mistakes, also. He’s stalking off into
the waiting area, and he’s even hissed at Cora Calico, our next
contestant. You want to stay out of Boris’ way when he’s angry.

Tabby: Ooo, look at that score—an 11.25. That has to hurt!

Tufty: Ouch I really don’t see how Boris can come back from this—it’s
just such a disastrous first round for him. But here comes Cora
Calico. She’s still practically a kitten, so focus and finesse are
her weak points, so far. Rules are, contestants must pounce on the
tassel. Each contestant is allowed thirty seconds of warmup, but her
interest in that jingly-ball might cost her. Ah, now Cora’s looking
all around for that tassel—ah, there she’s seen it and she’s getting
into her crouch.
Tabby: Nice extension of the neck, and good tuck in the front paws,
wouldn’t you say, Tufty?

Tufty: Yes, although her back is almost level with her shoulders,
see? And her tail is at a 45 degree angle rather than vertical. She’s
good and wiggly though and her tail lash is quite good in lateral terms
—she springs!

Tabby: Ooh so close! She JUST manages to catch the end of the tassel
with her right paw!

Tufty: It’s legal! She got it and she stuck the landing. Now she’s
lying on her back gnawing on one of the tassel fringes. Another good
first round pounce, although Cora lacks Kwan Yin’s expertise. You
have to pay attention to every little thing when competing at this
level.

Tabby: Well, she has time to perfect it. She only just turned one year
old, the minimum age for competition in Olympic Pouncing. Her combined
score is 15.00

Tufty: I’d stay that’s a little generous. She’s talented, I don’t
deny, but she’s not very polished, yet.

Tabby: Here comes Perun, the first contestant of the Persian team.
Tufty, what’s his style?

Tufty: Perun’s at a disadvantage in this competition, Tabby. He’s much
better at balancing than pouncing. He aces Crossing the Room Without
Touching Floor events. Pouncing from heights is more his style than
lateral leaps. He’s also lost some spring in his hind quarters in
recent years , too. To be honest, I don’t know why he’s competing,
here.

Tabby: well, looks like he isn’t. He’s now gone to lie down in that
sunny patch of floor, and is washing a paw.

Tufty: He gets extremely high marks for indifference and independence
of attitude—nobody’s going to make this cat play if he doesn’t feel
like it. But I’m afraid he’s no asset to the Persian Pouncing Team,
here. Ah, the read flag is up. Perun has been disqualified. Thirty
seconds passed without even an effort to pounce.

Tabby: and he still isn’t worried—he’s just lying there in the sun
with his eyes closed. The other Persians don’t look happy.

Tufty: No indeed. They’ll be stealing kibble from his bowl, tonight.

Tabby: Stay tuned for More Olympic Distance Pouncing when we return
from these announcements.

Melissa


  #2  
Old August 14th 08, 07:34 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Kajikit[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 329
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing

On Thu, 14 Aug 2008 10:50:34 -0700 (PDT), Shiral
wrote:

Watching the Gymnasts and the topic of Feline Olympics gave me the
idea below: What if Pouncing were an Olympic Event?


Adorable! Got any other events in store for us? How about Cat-boxing?

  #3  
Old August 14th 08, 07:43 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Joy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 7,086
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing

"Shiral" wrote in message
...
Watching the Gymnasts and the topic of Feline Olympics gave me the
idea below: What if Pouncing were an Olympic Event?

Good morning I’m Tabby Barncat, and welcome to the Great Living Room,
our venue for Indoor Olympic Pouncing. This morning, we have the
medal round for Long Distance Pouncing upon Small Moving Objects, our
most challenging indoor event. I’m joined by Pouncing expert, Tufty
Pawasher, who took the gold medal in this event in 1992. Tufty,
welcome and who do you think are our strongest medal contestants, this
morning?

Tufty: Thank you, Tabby, this is shaping up into a very exciting final
round. In our qualifying round, the Russian Blues finished on top and
are heavily favored to win the gold, but were given tough competition
from the Siamese team who finished in second place thanks to the high
scores of Siamese Team leader, Kwan Yin. But we should not discount
the Persian contingent, despite their disappointing fourth place
finish, yesterday. The Havana browns could also pull off a
surprising upset for the bronze medal. But with modest pride, I must
point out the British Shorthairs could sneak in there, too. They just
have to keep their focus.

Tabby: And I have a feeling the U.S. Calico team might not medal, but
nevertheless pull off a strong fifth place finish. The team has made
great improvements since kittenhood.

Tufty: Well yes, but remember Tabby, the judges are keeping an eye on
conformation and technical finesse, today. The grace and elegance of
the pounce are as important as accuracy.

Tabby: You’re quite right, Tufty. For our audience, could you go over
the technical aspects of competition pouncing? What will the judges be
looking for?

Tufty: First phase is eye contact; judges want to see a contestant who
sees the mark quickly, second is the setup, which is the crouch, which
should also be prompt. Competition rules state the head and front of
the body should be a little lower than the hindquarters, the head and
neck a bit extended in front of the forepaws, while maintaining focus
on the target. Then there is the preparation for takeoff with the
important butt wiggle and tail lash, then the spring. The spring
should be quick and powerful, with the forelegs extending to grasp the
target. There is a five tenth point deduction if the contestant does
not hit the target with at least one paw on their first try—it’s
essential to stick the landing. There are three sets of marks, first
for conformation and elegance, second for speed plus power, third for
accuracy. It’s a rare cat who can combine all three things in a single
pounce. Of course the contestants each get a pounce in each of the
three rounds.

Tabby: Thanks, Tufty. What about wind direction and speed?

Tufty: Oh that’s only a factor in the Outdoor Pouncing competition
we’ll see next week. There, there is a danger that the contestants
will be distracted from the real target and pounce on a stray item.
Indoors, headwinds and tailwinds really aren’t a factor—the venue is
much more controlled. And ah, here comes our first contestant. The
competition order is determined by a random draw. Our first
contestant is Kwan Yin, one of the Siamese team Pouncers. A new talent
but very promising. Look at that upright tail and look at the
placement of the paws in a nearly straight line as she walks. She’s
going over to the warmup scratching post—no wait, she’s seen the
target, and she’s going into her crouch already. Will you look at her
focus! Her eyes are right on that tassel!

Tabby: Yes, Kwan Yin is showing excellent conformation, here; her eyes
are right on the target, her ears are pricked and her neck extended,
front legs nicely tucked under. Her hindquarters are nicely elevated,
and her tail is pointing straight up.

Tufty: Now she’s raising her hindquarters, look at her go! That butt
wiggle is almost a shimmy! Nice tail lash, too although her tail is
drooping a little more than I’d like to see—whoops there she goes, and
she has it! She nailed that tassel and stuck the landing. Excellent
first round pounce for Kwan Yin. A challenge has been issued to the
other contestants! She should get the highest marks for elegance and
accuracy, but I expect they’ll mark her down a bit for speed. Yes, a
very good combined score of 15.6 for the first round pounce.

Tabby: Kwan Yin is still gnawing on the tassel, there’s a bit of a
tussle to get her away from it to prepare for the next contestant. Oh
my, she’s having fun. No performance anxiety today from Kwan Yin!

Tufty: Next up we have Boris from the Russian Blue team. This will be
his last Olympics, and he’d really like to finish with a gold medal.

Tabby: What is his pouncing style, Tufty?

Tufty: He’s a speed king, really—very workmanlike. His mother was a
mouser at a vodka brewery, so he started pouncing as soon as his eyes
opened, practically. He almost has to slow down in competition so that
the judges can see his conformation. He’s not the most graceful or
elegant, but you can hardly beat him on the speed and accuracy scores.
He’s playing it cool for now, but you can be sure he’s looking
everywhere for that tassel—ah, he sees it—wow! He’s already made his
pounce—and misses! This is an incredible mistake from him! No set-up,
no chance to raise his conformation and technique scores. I think the
pressure of competition pouncing has finally made him crack. Oh, he’s
angry, look at him lashing his tail! This is a huge disappointment.
With the competition here today, I don’t know if he can make it up in
the second and third rounds, although he still could medal if the
other contestants make serious mistakes, also. He’s stalking off into
the waiting area, and he’s even hissed at Cora Calico, our next
contestant. You want to stay out of Boris’ way when he’s angry.

Tabby: Ooo, look at that score—an 11.25. That has to hurt!

Tufty: Ouch I really don’t see how Boris can come back from this—it’s
just such a disastrous first round for him. But here comes Cora
Calico. She’s still practically a kitten, so focus and finesse are
her weak points, so far. Rules are, contestants must pounce on the
tassel. Each contestant is allowed thirty seconds of warmup, but her
interest in that jingly-ball might cost her. Ah, now Cora’s looking
all around for that tassel—ah, there she’s seen it and she’s getting
into her crouch.
Tabby: Nice extension of the neck, and good tuck in the front paws,
wouldn’t you say, Tufty?

Tufty: Yes, although her back is almost level with her shoulders,
see? And her tail is at a 45 degree angle rather than vertical. She’s
good and wiggly though and her tail lash is quite good in lateral terms
—she springs!

Tabby: Ooh so close! She JUST manages to catch the end of the tassel
with her right paw!

Tufty: It’s legal! She got it and she stuck the landing. Now she’s
lying on her back gnawing on one of the tassel fringes. Another good
first round pounce, although Cora lacks Kwan Yin’s expertise. You
have to pay attention to every little thing when competing at this
level.

Tabby: Well, she has time to perfect it. She only just turned one year
old, the minimum age for competition in Olympic Pouncing. Her combined
score is 15.00

Tufty: I’d stay that’s a little generous. She’s talented, I don’t
deny, but she’s not very polished, yet.

Tabby: Here comes Perun, the first contestant of the Persian team.
Tufty, what’s his style?

Tufty: Perun’s at a disadvantage in this competition, Tabby. He’s much
better at balancing than pouncing. He aces Crossing the Room Without
Touching Floor events. Pouncing from heights is more his style than
lateral leaps. He’s also lost some spring in his hind quarters in
recent years , too. To be honest, I don’t know why he’s competing,
here.

Tabby: well, looks like he isn’t. He’s now gone to lie down in that
sunny patch of floor, and is washing a paw.

Tufty: He gets extremely high marks for indifference and independence
of attitude—nobody’s going to make this cat play if he doesn’t feel
like it. But I’m afraid he’s no asset to the Persian Pouncing Team,
here. Ah, the read flag is up. Perun has been disqualified. Thirty
seconds passed without even an effort to pounce.

Tabby: and he still isn’t worried—he’s just lying there in the sun
with his eyes closed. The other Persians don’t look happy.

Tufty: No indeed. They’ll be stealing kibble from his bowl, tonight.

Tabby: Stay tuned for More Olympic Distance Pouncing when we return
from these announcements.

Melissa

***

Bravo!

Joy


  #4  
Old August 14th 08, 07:57 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
CatNipped[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4,003
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing

"Shiral" wrote in message
...
Watching the Gymnasts and the topic of Feline Olympics gave me the
idea below: What if Pouncing were an Olympic Event?

================================================== =========

Brilliant!!! I look forward to any other Kitty Olympic Event reports you'd
feel like posting!

Nose Kisses,

CatNipped


  #5  
Old August 14th 08, 08:22 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
tanadashoes
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,879
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing


"Shiral" wrote in message
...
Watching the Gymnasts and the topic of Feline Olympics gave me the
idea below: What if Pouncing were an Olympic Event?

===================

MORE MORE!!! Cat boxing, Super Napping, Kibble Theft, Begging, Stalking,
other fine kitty events.

Pam S.


  #6  
Old August 14th 08, 09:41 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Kreisleriana[_3_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,817
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing




"Shiral" wrote in message
...
Watching the Gymnasts and the topic of Feline Olympics gave me the
idea below: What if Pouncing were an Olympic Event?

Good morning I’m Tabby Barncat, and welcome to the Great Living Room,
our venue for Indoor Olympic Pouncing. This morning, we have the
medal round for Long Distance Pouncing upon Small Moving Objects, our
most challenging indoor event. I’m joined by Pouncing expert, Tufty
Pawasher, who took the gold medal in this event in 1992. Tufty,
welcome and who do you think are our strongest medal contestants, this
morning?

Tufty: Thank you, Tabby, this is shaping up into a very exciting final
round. In our qualifying round, the Russian Blues finished on top and
are heavily favored to win the gold, but were given tough competition
from the Siamese team who finished in second place thanks to the high
scores of Siamese Team leader, Kwan Yin. But we should not discount
the Persian contingent, despite their disappointing fourth place
finish, yesterday. The Havana browns could also pull off a
surprising upset for the bronze medal. But with modest pride, I must
point out the British Shorthairs could sneak in there, too. They just
have to keep their focus.

Tabby: And I have a feeling the U.S. Calico team might not medal, but
nevertheless pull off a strong fifth place finish. The team has made
great improvements since kittenhood.

Tufty: Well yes, but remember Tabby, the judges are keeping an eye on
conformation and technical finesse, today. The grace and elegance of
the pounce are as important as accuracy.

Tabby: You’re quite right, Tufty. For our audience, could you go over
the technical aspects of competition pouncing? What will the judges be
looking for?

Tufty: First phase is eye contact; judges want to see a contestant who
sees the mark quickly, second is the setup, which is the crouch, which
should also be prompt. Competition rules state the head and front of
the body should be a little lower than the hindquarters, the head and
neck a bit extended in front of the forepaws, while maintaining focus
on the target. Then there is the preparation for takeoff with the
important butt wiggle and tail lash, then the spring. The spring
should be quick and powerful, with the forelegs extending to grasp the
target. There is a five tenth point deduction if the contestant does
not hit the target with at least one paw on their first try—it’s
essential to stick the landing. There are three sets of marks, first
for conformation and elegance, second for speed plus power, third for
accuracy. It’s a rare cat who can combine all three things in a single
pounce. Of course the contestants each get a pounce in each of the
three rounds.

Tabby: Thanks, Tufty. What about wind direction and speed?

Tufty: Oh that’s only a factor in the Outdoor Pouncing competition
we’ll see next week. There, there is a danger that the contestants
will be distracted from the real target and pounce on a stray item.
Indoors, headwinds and tailwinds really aren’t a factor—the venue is
much more controlled. And ah, here comes our first contestant. The
competition order is determined by a random draw. Our first
contestant is Kwan Yin, one of the Siamese team Pouncers. A new talent
but very promising. Look at that upright tail and look at the
placement of the paws in a nearly straight line as she walks. She’s
going over to the warmup scratching post—no wait, she’s seen the
target, and she’s going into her crouch already. Will you look at her
focus! Her eyes are right on that tassel!

Tabby: Yes, Kwan Yin is showing excellent conformation, here; her eyes
are right on the target, her ears are pricked and her neck extended,
front legs nicely tucked under. Her hindquarters are nicely elevated,
and her tail is pointing straight up.

Tufty: Now she’s raising her hindquarters, look at her go! That butt
wiggle is almost a shimmy! Nice tail lash, too although her tail is
drooping a little more than I’d like to see—whoops there she goes, and
she has it! She nailed that tassel and stuck the landing. Excellent
first round pounce for Kwan Yin. A challenge has been issued to the
other contestants! She should get the highest marks for elegance and
accuracy, but I expect they’ll mark her down a bit for speed. Yes, a
very good combined score of 15.6 for the first round pounce.

Tabby: Kwan Yin is still gnawing on the tassel, there’s a bit of a
tussle to get her away from it to prepare for the next contestant. Oh
my, she’s having fun. No performance anxiety today from Kwan Yin!

Tufty: Next up we have Boris from the Russian Blue team. This will be
his last Olympics, and he’d really like to finish with a gold medal.

Tabby: What is his pouncing style, Tufty?

Tufty: He’s a speed king, really—very workmanlike. His mother was a
mouser at a vodka brewery, so he started pouncing as soon as his eyes
opened, practically. He almost has to slow down in competition so that
the judges can see his conformation. He’s not the most graceful or
elegant, but you can hardly beat him on the speed and accuracy scores.
He’s playing it cool for now, but you can be sure he’s looking
everywhere for that tassel—ah, he sees it—wow! He’s already made his
pounce—and misses! This is an incredible mistake from him! No set-up,
no chance to raise his conformation and technique scores. I think the
pressure of competition pouncing has finally made him crack. Oh, he’s
angry, look at him lashing his tail! This is a huge disappointment.
With the competition here today, I don’t know if he can make it up in
the second and third rounds, although he still could medal if the
other contestants make serious mistakes, also. He’s stalking off into
the waiting area, and he’s even hissed at Cora Calico, our next
contestant. You want to stay out of Boris’ way when he’s angry.

Tabby: Ooo, look at that score—an 11.25. That has to hurt!

Tufty: Ouch I really don’t see how Boris can come back from this—it’s
just such a disastrous first round for him. But here comes Cora
Calico. She’s still practically a kitten, so focus and finesse are
her weak points, so far. Rules are, contestants must pounce on the
tassel. Each contestant is allowed thirty seconds of warmup, but her
interest in that jingly-ball might cost her. Ah, now Cora’s looking
all around for that tassel—ah, there she’s seen it and she’s getting
into her crouch.
Tabby: Nice extension of the neck, and good tuck in the front paws,
wouldn’t you say, Tufty?

Tufty: Yes, although her back is almost level with her shoulders,
see? And her tail is at a 45 degree angle rather than vertical. She’s
good and wiggly though and her tail lash is quite good in lateral terms
—she springs!

Tabby: Ooh so close! She JUST manages to catch the end of the tassel
with her right paw!

Tufty: It’s legal! She got it and she stuck the landing. Now she’s
lying on her back gnawing on one of the tassel fringes. Another good
first round pounce, although Cora lacks Kwan Yin’s expertise. You
have to pay attention to every little thing when competing at this
level.

Tabby: Well, she has time to perfect it. She only just turned one year
old, the minimum age for competition in Olympic Pouncing. Her combined
score is 15.00

Tufty: I’d stay that’s a little generous. She’s talented, I don’t
deny, but she’s not very polished, yet.

Tabby: Here comes Perun, the first contestant of the Persian team.
Tufty, what’s his style?

Tufty: Perun’s at a disadvantage in this competition, Tabby. He’s much
better at balancing than pouncing. He aces Crossing the Room Without
Touching Floor events. Pouncing from heights is more his style than
lateral leaps. He’s also lost some spring in his hind quarters in
recent years , too. To be honest, I don’t know why he’s competing,
here.

Tabby: well, looks like he isn’t. He’s now gone to lie down in that
sunny patch of floor, and is washing a paw.

Tufty: He gets extremely high marks for indifference and independence
of attitude—nobody’s going to make this cat play if he doesn’t feel
like it. But I’m afraid he’s no asset to the Persian Pouncing Team,
here. Ah, the read flag is up. Perun has been disqualified. Thirty
seconds passed without even an effort to pounce.

Tabby: and he still isn’t worried—he’s just lying there in the sun
with his eyes closed. The other Persians don’t look happy.

Tufty: No indeed. They’ll be stealing kibble from his bowl, tonight.

Tabby: Stay tuned for More Olympic Distance Pouncing when we return
from these announcements.

Melissa


What about those Chinese pouncers!!??? They can't be more than six weeks
old!!!

--
Theresa, Stinky and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh


  #7  
Old August 14th 08, 10:51 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Kyla =^..^=`
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 171
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing

ROTFLMAO..that was great
Thanks
Kyla

"Shiral"
Watching the Gymnasts and the topic of Feline Olympics gave me the
idea below: What if Pouncing were an Olympic Event?

Good morning I’m Tabby Barncat, and welcome to the Great Living Room,
our venue for Indoor Olympic Pouncing. This morning, we have the
medal round for Long Distance Pouncing upon Small Moving Objects, our
most challenging indoor event. I’m joined by Pouncing expert, Tufty
Pawasher, who took the gold medal in this event in 1992. Tufty,
welcome and who do you think are our strongest medal contestants, this
morning?

Tufty: Thank you, Tabby, this is shaping up into a very exciting final
round. In our qualifying round, the Russian Blues finished on top and
are heavily favored to win the gold, but were given tough competition
from the Siamese team who finished in second place thanks to the high
scores of Siamese Team leader, Kwan Yin. But we should not discount
the Persian contingent, despite their disappointing fourth place
finish, yesterday. The Havana browns could also pull off a
surprising upset for the bronze medal. But with modest pride, I must
point out the British Shorthairs could sneak in there, too. They just
have to keep their focus.

Tabby: And I have a feeling the U.S. Calico team might not medal, but
nevertheless pull off a strong fifth place finish. The team has made
great improvements since kittenhood.

Tufty: Well yes, but remember Tabby, the judges are keeping an eye on
conformation and technical finesse, today. The grace and elegance of
the pounce are as important as accuracy.

Tabby: You’re quite right, Tufty. For our audience, could you go over
the technical aspects of competition pouncing? What will the judges be
looking for?

Tufty: First phase is eye contact; judges want to see a contestant who
sees the mark quickly, second is the setup, which is the crouch, which
should also be prompt. Competition rules state the head and front of
the body should be a little lower than the hindquarters, the head and
neck a bit extended in front of the forepaws, while maintaining focus
on the target. Then there is the preparation for takeoff with the
important butt wiggle and tail lash, then the spring. The spring
should be quick and powerful, with the forelegs extending to grasp the
target. There is a five tenth point deduction if the contestant does
not hit the target with at least one paw on their first try—it’s
essential to stick the landing. There are three sets of marks, first
for conformation and elegance, second for speed plus power, third for
accuracy. It’s a rare cat who can combine all three things in a single
pounce. Of course the contestants each get a pounce in each of the
three rounds.

Tabby: Thanks, Tufty. What about wind direction and speed?

Tufty: Oh that’s only a factor in the Outdoor Pouncing competition
we’ll see next week. There, there is a danger that the contestants
will be distracted from the real target and pounce on a stray item.
Indoors, headwinds and tailwinds really aren’t a factor—the venue is
much more controlled. And ah, here comes our first contestant. The
competition order is determined by a random draw. Our first
contestant is Kwan Yin, one of the Siamese team Pouncers. A new talent
but very promising. Look at that upright tail and look at the
placement of the paws in a nearly straight line as she walks. She’s
going over to the warmup scratching post—no wait, she’s seen the
target, and she’s going into her crouch already. Will you look at her
focus! Her eyes are right on that tassel!

Tabby: Yes, Kwan Yin is showing excellent conformation, here; her eyes
are right on the target, her ears are pricked and her neck extended,
front legs nicely tucked under. Her hindquarters are nicely elevated,
and her tail is pointing straight up.

Tufty: Now she’s raising her hindquarters, look at her go! That butt
wiggle is almost a shimmy! Nice tail lash, too although her tail is
drooping a little more than I’d like to see—whoops there she goes, and
she has it! She nailed that tassel and stuck the landing. Excellent
first round pounce for Kwan Yin. A challenge has been issued to the
other contestants! She should get the highest marks for elegance and
accuracy, but I expect they’ll mark her down a bit for speed. Yes, a
very good combined score of 15.6 for the first round pounce.

Tabby: Kwan Yin is still gnawing on the tassel, there’s a bit of a
tussle to get her away from it to prepare for the next contestant. Oh
my, she’s having fun. No performance anxiety today from Kwan Yin!

Tufty: Next up we have Boris from the Russian Blue team. This will be
his last Olympics, and he’d really like to finish with a gold medal.

Tabby: What is his pouncing style, Tufty?

Tufty: He’s a speed king, really—very workmanlike. His mother was a
mouser at a vodka brewery, so he started pouncing as soon as his eyes
opened, practically. He almost has to slow down in competition so that
the judges can see his conformation. He’s not the most graceful or
elegant, but you can hardly beat him on the speed and accuracy scores.
He’s playing it cool for now, but you can be sure he’s looking
everywhere for that tassel—ah, he sees it—wow! He’s already made his
pounce—and misses! This is an incredible mistake from him! No set-up,
no chance to raise his conformation and technique scores. I think the
pressure of competition pouncing has finally made him crack. Oh, he’s
angry, look at him lashing his tail! This is a huge disappointment.
With the competition here today, I don’t know if he can make it up in
the second and third rounds, although he still could medal if the
other contestants make serious mistakes, also. He’s stalking off into
the waiting area, and he’s even hissed at Cora Calico, our next
contestant. You want to stay out of Boris’ way when he’s angry.

Tabby: Ooo, look at that score—an 11.25. That has to hurt!

Tufty: Ouch I really don’t see how Boris can come back from this—it’s
just such a disastrous first round for him. But here comes Cora
Calico. She’s still practically a kitten, so focus and finesse are
her weak points, so far. Rules are, contestants must pounce on the
tassel. Each contestant is allowed thirty seconds of warmup, but her
interest in that jingly-ball might cost her. Ah, now Cora’s looking
all around for that tassel—ah, there she’s seen it and she’s getting
into her crouch.
Tabby: Nice extension of the neck, and good tuck in the front paws,
wouldn’t you say, Tufty?

Tufty: Yes, although her back is almost level with her shoulders,
see? And her tail is at a 45 degree angle rather than vertical. She’s
good and wiggly though and her tail lash is quite good in lateral terms
—she springs!

Tabby: Ooh so close! She JUST manages to catch the end of the tassel
with her right paw!

Tufty: It’s legal! She got it and she stuck the landing. Now she’s
lying on her back gnawing on one of the tassel fringes. Another good
first round pounce, although Cora lacks Kwan Yin’s expertise. You
have to pay attention to every little thing when competing at this
level.

Tabby: Well, she has time to perfect it. She only just turned one year
old, the minimum age for competition in Olympic Pouncing. Her combined
score is 15.00

Tufty: I’d stay that’s a little generous. She’s talented, I don’t
deny, but she’s not very polished, yet.

Tabby: Here comes Perun, the first contestant of the Persian team.
Tufty, what’s his style?

Tufty: Perun’s at a disadvantage in this competition, Tabby. He’s much
better at balancing than pouncing. He aces Crossing the Room Without
Touching Floor events. Pouncing from heights is more his style than
lateral leaps. He’s also lost some spring in his hind quarters in
recent years , too. To be honest, I don’t know why he’s competing,
here.

Tabby: well, looks like he isn’t. He’s now gone to lie down in that
sunny patch of floor, and is washing a paw.

Tufty: He gets extremely high marks for indifference and independence
of attitude—nobody’s going to make this cat play if he doesn’t feel
like it. But I’m afraid he’s no asset to the Persian Pouncing Team,
here. Ah, the read flag is up. Perun has been disqualified. Thirty
seconds passed without even an effort to pounce.

Tabby: and he still isn’t worried—he’s just lying there in the sun
with his eyes closed. The other Persians don’t look happy.

Tufty: No indeed. They’ll be stealing kibble from his bowl, tonight.

Tabby: Stay tuned for More Olympic Distance Pouncing when we return
from these announcements.

Melissa



  #8  
Old August 14th 08, 11:49 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 9,349
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing

Shiral wrote:

Watching the Gymnasts and the topic of Feline Olympics gave me the
idea below: What if Pouncing were an Olympic Event?


That was *so* clever!! Very funny. There's no way I could have written
that. You must watch a lot of Olympics coverage!

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)
  #9  
Old August 15th 08, 02:06 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Wayne Mitchell
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 329
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing

Kajikit wrote:

Adorable! Got any other events in store for us? How about Cat-boxing?


Heidi and Will, who almost never get into it, have just had a dust-up. I
think they must have been watching Tabby Barncat's presentation of the
boxing events earlier today and got a little caught up in the
excitement.

Marvelous send-up, Melissa!
--

Wayne M.
  #10  
Old August 15th 08, 03:31 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Sam
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,226
Default Feline Games: Olympic Pouncing

Shiral wrote:
Watching the Gymnasts and the topic of Feline Olympics gave me the
idea below: What if Pouncing were an Olympic Event?

Good morning I’m Tabby Barncat, and welcome to the Great Living Room,
our venue for Indoor Olympic Pouncing. This morning, we have the
medal round for Long Distance Pouncing upon Small Moving Objects, our
most challenging indoor event. I’m joined by Pouncing expert, Tufty
Pawasher, who took the gold medal in this event in 1992. Tufty,
welcome and who do you think are our strongest medal contestants, this
morning?

Tufty: Thank you, Tabby, this is shaping up into a very exciting final
round. In our qualifying round, the Russian Blues finished on top and
are heavily favored to win the gold, but were given tough competition
from the Siamese team who finished in second place thanks to the high
scores of Siamese Team leader, Kwan Yin. But we should not discount
the Persian contingent, despite their disappointing fourth place
finish, yesterday. The Havana browns could also pull off a
surprising upset for the bronze medal. But with modest pride, I must
point out the British Shorthairs could sneak in there, too. They just
have to keep their focus.

Tabby: And I have a feeling the U.S. Calico team might not medal, but
nevertheless pull off a strong fifth place finish. The team has made
great improvements since kittenhood.

Tufty: Well yes, but remember Tabby, the judges are keeping an eye on
conformation and technical finesse, today. The grace and elegance of
the pounce are as important as accuracy.

Tabby: You’re quite right, Tufty. For our audience, could you go over
the technical aspects of competition pouncing? What will the judges be
looking for?

Tufty: First phase is eye contact; judges want to see a contestant who
sees the mark quickly, second is the setup, which is the crouch, which
should also be prompt. Competition rules state the head and front of
the body should be a little lower than the hindquarters, the head and
neck a bit extended in front of the forepaws, while maintaining focus
on the target. Then there is the preparation for takeoff with the
important butt wiggle and tail lash, then the spring. The spring
should be quick and powerful, with the forelegs extending to grasp the
target. There is a five tenth point deduction if the contestant does
not hit the target with at least one paw on their first try—it’s
essential to stick the landing. There are three sets of marks, first
for conformation and elegance, second for speed plus power, third for
accuracy. It’s a rare cat who can combine all three things in a single
pounce. Of course the contestants each get a pounce in each of the
three rounds.

Tabby: Thanks, Tufty. What about wind direction and speed?

Tufty: Oh that’s only a factor in the Outdoor Pouncing competition
we’ll see next week. There, there is a danger that the contestants
will be distracted from the real target and pounce on a stray item.
Indoors, headwinds and tailwinds really aren’t a factor—the venue is
much more controlled. And ah, here comes our first contestant. The
competition order is determined by a random draw. Our first
contestant is Kwan Yin, one of the Siamese team Pouncers. A new talent
but very promising. Look at that upright tail and look at the
placement of the paws in a nearly straight line as she walks. She’s
going over to the warmup scratching post—no wait, she’s seen the
target, and she’s going into her crouch already. Will you look at her
focus! Her eyes are right on that tassel!

Tabby: Yes, Kwan Yin is showing excellent conformation, here; her eyes
are right on the target, her ears are pricked and her neck extended,
front legs nicely tucked under. Her hindquarters are nicely elevated,
and her tail is pointing straight up.

Tufty: Now she’s raising her hindquarters, look at her go! That butt
wiggle is almost a shimmy! Nice tail lash, too although her tail is
drooping a little more than I’d like to see—whoops there she goes, and
she has it! She nailed that tassel and stuck the landing. Excellent
first round pounce for Kwan Yin. A challenge has been issued to the
other contestants! She should get the highest marks for elegance and
accuracy, but I expect they’ll mark her down a bit for speed. Yes, a
very good combined score of 15.6 for the first round pounce.

Tabby: Kwan Yin is still gnawing on the tassel, there’s a bit of a
tussle to get her away from it to prepare for the next contestant. Oh
my, she’s having fun. No performance anxiety today from Kwan Yin!

Tufty: Next up we have Boris from the Russian Blue team. This will be
his last Olympics, and he’d really like to finish with a gold medal.

Tabby: What is his pouncing style, Tufty?

Tufty: He’s a speed king, really—very workmanlike. His mother was a
mouser at a vodka brewery, so he started pouncing as soon as his eyes
opened, practically. He almost has to slow down in competition so that
the judges can see his conformation. He’s not the most graceful or
elegant, but you can hardly beat him on the speed and accuracy scores.
He’s playing it cool for now, but you can be sure he’s looking
everywhere for that tassel—ah, he sees it—wow! He’s already made his
pounce—and misses! This is an incredible mistake from him! No set-up,
no chance to raise his conformation and technique scores. I think the
pressure of competition pouncing has finally made him crack. Oh, he’s
angry, look at him lashing his tail! This is a huge disappointment.
With the competition here today, I don’t know if he can make it up in
the second and third rounds, although he still could medal if the
other contestants make serious mistakes, also. He’s stalking off into
the waiting area, and he’s even hissed at Cora Calico, our next
contestant. You want to stay out of Boris’ way when he’s angry.

Tabby: Ooo, look at that score—an 11.25. That has to hurt!

Tufty: Ouch I really don’t see how Boris can come back from this—it’s
just such a disastrous first round for him. But here comes Cora
Calico. She’s still practically a kitten, so focus and finesse are
her weak points, so far. Rules are, contestants must pounce on the
tassel. Each contestant is allowed thirty seconds of warmup, but her
interest in that jingly-ball might cost her. Ah, now Cora’s looking
all around for that tassel—ah, there she’s seen it and she’s getting
into her crouch.
Tabby: Nice extension of the neck, and good tuck in the front paws,
wouldn’t you say, Tufty?

Tufty: Yes, although her back is almost level with her shoulders,
see? And her tail is at a 45 degree angle rather than vertical. She’s
good and wiggly though and her tail lash is quite good in lateral terms
—she springs!

Tabby: Ooh so close! She JUST manages to catch the end of the tassel
with her right paw!

Tufty: It’s legal! She got it and she stuck the landing. Now she’s
lying on her back gnawing on one of the tassel fringes. Another good
first round pounce, although Cora lacks Kwan Yin’s expertise. You
have to pay attention to every little thing when competing at this
level.

Tabby: Well, she has time to perfect it. She only just turned one year
old, the minimum age for competition in Olympic Pouncing. Her combined
score is 15.00

Tufty: I’d stay that’s a little generous. She’s talented, I don’t
deny, but she’s not very polished, yet.

Tabby: Here comes Perun, the first contestant of the Persian team.
Tufty, what’s his style?

Tufty: Perun’s at a disadvantage in this competition, Tabby. He’s much
better at balancing than pouncing. He aces Crossing the Room Without
Touching Floor events. Pouncing from heights is more his style than
lateral leaps. He’s also lost some spring in his hind quarters in
recent years , too. To be honest, I don’t know why he’s competing,
here.

Tabby: well, looks like he isn’t. He’s now gone to lie down in that
sunny patch of floor, and is washing a paw.

Tufty: He gets extremely high marks for indifference and independence
of attitude—nobody’s going to make this cat play if he doesn’t feel
like it. But I’m afraid he’s no asset to the Persian Pouncing Team,
here. Ah, the read flag is up. Perun has been disqualified. Thirty
seconds passed without even an effort to pounce.

Tabby: and he still isn’t worried—he’s just lying there in the sun
with his eyes closed. The other Persians don’t look happy.

Tufty: No indeed. They’ll be stealing kibble from his bowl, tonight.

Tabby: Stay tuned for More Olympic Distance Pouncing when we return
from these announcements.

Melissa


This is great! Thanks for sharing.

Sam, supervised by Mistletoe (who's *not* interested in entering, thank you)
 




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