A warning before you euthanize your cat. (sorry--it is long)

This is very beautiful, Megan.
I don't want to think about the day it may be my lot, but your post should
be read and memorized by all of us, for further use - to strengthen our
spirits.
Thank you.
Yvonne

wrote in message
...
AJ wrote:
snip

I suggest that you impress upon your vet
that you want your cat pre-sedated in
some manner to avoid having his/her last
moments spent in fear and pain. I also
wish so much that I had had the presence
of mind to stop the proceedings the
first instant that I saw that it was
causing pain and fear. I am devastated
by this and as desperately as I wish I
could--I can't go back and make it
better for my dear kitty, but maybe
someone here will learn from our
experience. Thinking about that
possibility may help my heart begin to
heal from this. Right now I feel like I
failed my best friend when he needed me
the most.

You didn't fail your best friend. Sometimes these things happen and we
have no control. Hindsight is always 20/20, but even then it's possible
that what we think we shoukld have done wouldn't have made a difference
either. I'm sorry you're in so much pain, but please don't feel guilty
for a situation you could not control.

On December 1 I had my vet come to my house to euthanize my Sadie, who
had been battling a serous illness for 9 months. I thought that since
she had always been a sweet and mellow cat that things would go
smoothly, but it was not to be. She had started to develop fluid on her
chest and was starting to have trouble breathing. When they tried to put
a catheter in she got stressed and made it impossible to get the
catheter in. I tried to calm her, but her breathing trouble stressed her
more and it became a vicious circle. The vet then gave her a sedative
and it had an adverse reaction and just made things worse.

At this point we had to move fast so my last memory of my beautiful,
lovely girl was not one of me looking into her eyes and saying goodbye
while she drifted away, but instead one of me scruffing her tightly and
keeping her from struggling long enough so that the vet could quickly
find a vein and inject her. All I could do was apologize through my
tears and hope it went quickly. It was not pleasant, but the
circumstances were such that it was unavoidable. Sometimes this is just
the way it goes and we don't get the peaceful ending we'd hoped for. I
have lost 7 cats in the last few years and some of the euthanasias have
been very calm and peaceful, and sometimes they have not. (Check the
Google archive for "What Happened To Benjamin" to see my horror story.)

There are also times when we don't get to really say goodbye, either.
Last week I brought my cat Natasha in for surgery to remove and biopsy a
tumor I discovered in the back of her mouth. The vet called me while she
was on the table and said it was really bad, so I told her to keep her
under and I would be there right away.

When I got there she showed me what was going on and there were
cancerous masses all the way down the back of her throat. There was
nothing to be done and I had no choice but to euthanize. I would have
loved for Natasha to see me and hear me one last time, but was it fair
to wake her up from that just for my satisfaction? No, of course not, so
I sat with her and talked to her and hoped that some small part of her
would know I was there and hear me tell her how much I loved her. She
slipped away peacefully, but it was still devastating because I so
wanted her to know I was right there by her side until the very end no
matter what, but I'll never know if she knew I was there.

Whether we have had good or bad experiences with euthanasia the facts
are that as long as we choose to have cats in our lives, we will most
times have to face this sort of decision again and again. I think most
times things will go well, but there are always going to be other
factors we have no control over and sometimes that means that it will
not go the way we hope it will.

You can't beat yourself up over this. Yes, it's a tough memory to have
to live with, but that memory is just a blip on the screen compared to
the lifetime of *good* memories you have in your heart and mind, and
those are what you must hold on to and cherish.

Megan



"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do
nothing."

-Edmund Burke

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splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then
providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and
material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his
way."

- W.H. Murray

My heartfelt thanks to all of you who responded to my story with such
kindness, compassion and empathy. You can't know how much it helps.
I don't know exactly what led me to post to this group, but I am very
thankful to have done so and I am so grateful to every person who has
taken time to reach out to me.
Thank you Sunflower, for the in depth explanation. I feel reassured
that our little guy was unconscious at the very last. And with your
information, I will be a little better prepared to face this if it is
necessary again someday. And Kelly, Special thanks for telling me your
experience. You truly know...and I share your pain too.
And, yes, I have decided to write these vets a letter. I hope I can
suggest to them how they could be so much kinder without just putting
them on the defensive. It is going to be a hard letter to write but I
think it will help with my healing whether it makes any difference
with them or not. Depending on their response--or maybe regardless of
it--we are also going to be looking for another vet for our remaining
sweet kitty.
Again, thanks to all of you.
AJ

My heartfelt thanks to all of you who responded to my story with such
kindness, compassion and empathy. You can't know how much it helps.
I don't know exactly what led me to post to this group, but I am very
thankful to have done so and I am so grateful to every person who has
taken time to reach out to me.
Thank you Sunflower, for the in depth explanation. I feel reassured
that our little guy was unconscious at the very last. And with your
information, I will be a little better prepared to face this if it is
necessary again someday. And Kelly, Special thanks for telling me your
experience. You truly know...and I share your pain too.
And, yes, I have decided to write these vets a letter. I hope I can
suggest to them how they could be so much kinder without just putting
them on the defensive. It is going to be a hard letter to write but I
think it will help with my healing whether it makes any difference
with them or not. Depending on their response--or maybe regardless of
it--we are also going to be looking for another vet for our remaining
sweet kitty.
Again, thanks to all of you.
AJ

wrote in message
...

You can't beat yourself up over this. Yes, it's a tough memory to have
to live with, but that memory is just a blip on the screen compared to
the lifetime of *good* memories you have in your heart and mind, and
those are what you must hold on to and cherish.

Megan



Megan,

Your message is beautiful. You have put thoughts into words that will help
a great many people. You have a true understanding of what it means to
*care* for our cats and do what is best for them (no matter how painful it
may be for us), and your love shows loud and clear in this message. Thank
you for posting it.

MaryL

wrote in message
...

You can't beat yourself up over this. Yes, it's a tough memory to have
to live with, but that memory is just a blip on the screen compared to
the lifetime of *good* memories you have in your heart and mind, and
those are what you must hold on to and cherish.

Megan



Megan,

Your message is beautiful. You have put thoughts into words that will help
a great many people. You have a true understanding of what it means to
*care* for our cats and do what is best for them (no matter how painful it
may be for us), and your love shows loud and clear in this message. Thank
you for posting it.

MaryL

"AJ" wrote in message
om...
Hi
My husband and I took our beloved 18 year old Merlin to our vet
yesterday to be euthanized because his body had just finally given
out.
I couldn't sleep last night for thinking how traumatic, painful and
frightening Merlin's last moments on this earth were, and how I wasn't
able to protect him and give him the loving and peaceful exit that his
gentle heart so deserved. Today I cry every time I think about it. I
am flooding the keyboard as I type this now.
I am devastated by this and as
desperately as I wish I could--I can't go back and make it better for
my dear kitty, but maybe someone here will learn from our experience.
Thinking about that possibility may help my heart begin to heal from
this. Right now I feel like I failed my best friend when he needed me
the most.
Thanks for 'listening.'
AJ

AJ,

Please do not think that you failed. You didn't! Everything you did was in
Merlin's best interests. Sometimes we can't have the blessing of a peaceful
goodbye, but you should find solace in knowing that what you did prevented
what could have been a long, painful death for your beloved Merlin. Please
carefully read the message that Megan posted this morning. I just read it,
and she has beautifully expressed the thoughts that many of us have had --
but she has found the words that escape most of us.

Merlin had a wonderful life with you, and you did everything you could for
him when it was obvious that the time had come to let go. You could not
have done more.

MaryL

"AJ" wrote in message
om...
Hi
My husband and I took our beloved 18 year old Merlin to our vet
yesterday to be euthanized because his body had just finally given
out.
I couldn't sleep last night for thinking how traumatic, painful and
frightening Merlin's last moments on this earth were, and how I wasn't
able to protect him and give him the loving and peaceful exit that his
gentle heart so deserved. Today I cry every time I think about it. I
am flooding the keyboard as I type this now.
I am devastated by this and as
desperately as I wish I could--I can't go back and make it better for
my dear kitty, but maybe someone here will learn from our experience.
Thinking about that possibility may help my heart begin to heal from
this. Right now I feel like I failed my best friend when he needed me
the most.
Thanks for 'listening.'
AJ

AJ,

Please do not think that you failed. You didn't! Everything you did was in
Merlin's best interests. Sometimes we can't have the blessing of a peaceful
goodbye, but you should find solace in knowing that what you did prevented
what could have been a long, painful death for your beloved Merlin. Please
carefully read the message that Megan posted this morning. I just read it,
and she has beautifully expressed the thoughts that many of us have had --
but she has found the words that escape most of us.

Merlin had a wonderful life with you, and you did everything you could for
him when it was obvious that the time had come to let go. You could not
have done more.

MaryL

Dear Megan,
Your post contains so much wisdom and all of it has been hard won
through experience, I can see. It also contains much truth, and I am
taking it to heart. Reading it, (and all the other messages here), I
can see that even with the most well meaning and compassionate vet
(not mine), things are just going to go badly sometimes, and we just
have to move on and not dwell on our regret and pain---instead, we
have to remember all the love and good times. That is true for the
loss of any loved one--not just the four-legged kind. At my age I
should know this. I am going to try to put it into practice.
I did also search out and read about your dear Benjamin and I cried
the whole time I was reading it. I am so sorry that you and Benjamin
experienced such an atrocity. But I also was inspired and drew
strength from the very clear and strong letter that you wrote to the
clinic that served you both so badly. You took back your power and
used it for the good of people who came after you.
Thank you for writing.
AJ

Dear Megan,
Your post contains so much wisdom and all of it has been hard won
through experience, I can see. It also contains much truth, and I am
taking it to heart. Reading it, (and all the other messages here), I
can see that even with the most well meaning and compassionate vet
(not mine), things are just going to go badly sometimes, and we just
have to move on and not dwell on our regret and pain---instead, we
have to remember all the love and good times. That is true for the
loss of any loved one--not just the four-legged kind. At my age I
should know this. I am going to try to put it into practice.
I did also search out and read about your dear Benjamin and I cried
the whole time I was reading it. I am so sorry that you and Benjamin
experienced such an atrocity. But I also was inspired and drew
strength from the very clear and strong letter that you wrote to the
clinic that served you both so badly. You took back your power and
used it for the good of people who came after you.
Thank you for writing.
AJ

She slipped away peacefully, but it was still devastating because I so
wanted her to know I was right there by her side until the very end no
matter what, but I'll never know if she knew I was there.

I'm very, very sorry, Megan. Natasha and Saide were truly lucky girls.




Candace
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