Da storee uv da furst Kissamouse

[Oz callz fur effurykitty'z attenshun. Da room goze silint]

Hihi effurykitty; fur doze uv yu dat node mineself, mine naym iz Oz,
an Ize wun uv DaRennieKidz. Ize wud lyke tu tell yu a storee if Ize
may. Itz da storee uv da furst Kissamouse.

It was the Festive season once again, and dear Aurora, although very
frail now, invited some friends round to decorate the Tree. She asked
them to bring as many mice as they could find to make ornaments, as
she said "We shall make Santa Mousies, Angel Mousies and Little
Drummer Mousies. We can hang some from their little noses and some
from their tails. Won't our humans be surprised to see them hanging
from the Tree tomorrow!"

Soon the friends began to arrive. There was Aurora's elderly friend
Cleo, Punkins and PuddiCat, Simba, Orson and Winston, and a whole lot
of the younger ones who'd been invited by Cleo to learn how to make
Kiss-A-Mouse decorations. Juanny turned up shaking the rain off his
ragged ears with his paws full of mice. He walked stiffly but with
dignity. He wasn't as old as the other DOCs (Distinguished Older
Cats), but he had once lived a very rough life. He was always a
favourite with the little ones with his stories and his poems brought
tears to the eyes of the older cats.

"I'd like to help you all," he said cheerfully as he plonked the heap
of mice on the floor, "but I'm afraid I'm too clumsy for making
ornaments. Maybe I could tell you all a story while you're working
instead."

"Oh yes Uncle Juanny!" mewed the kittens, and the older ones smiled
and nodded. "I'll tell you the story of the very first Kiss-A-Mouse.
It maybe different to some of the myths you've heard, but everyone has
a story to tell and this ones mine." He looked around hopefully to see
if Yarrow had arrived yet, sighed when he saw she hadn't and began his
story.

Chapter One (he said)

Long long ago before anykitty can even imagine remembering, in a dark
forest in a cruel coldcold winter, with icemonsters and snowmonsters,
some little kitties were wandering about, lost and alone. The wicked
humans had abandoned them (booo-hisspit!). The humans had got them
(for some unknown human reason) and then not wanted them anymore.

I am sorry, little ones, to have to mention such horrible things and I
hope you're not too upset. That's the last time I will speak of the
wicked and evil humans (boo-00 hissspiitt!).

Anyway, these little kitties were wandering about by themselves, each
one alone in the cold darklights, shivering and mewing pitifully. Soon
there was a whole clowder* of them and they bundled up together to
keep each other warm and they began PURRING.

Well kitties, you know the power of PURRIN, especially ALL TOGETHER
and especially LITTLE LITTLE kitty purrs. Well, before you knew it,
something strange happened. There was a funny sort of light and there
in the snow and incemonsters stood a beautiful ladykitty, with silken
grey fur and bright yellowy golden eyes, and she sort of glowed! She
was wearing a red cloak with white bunny fur around the edges and she
carried a big wicker basket.

"What you got in your basket?" blurted one of the bolder kitties. (His
name was Jake and he was black with white paws.) The beautiful grey
ladykitty didn't seem to mind his question and by way of replying she
brought out of the basket a small pink toy mouse.

"This is a magic mouse, little ones," she explained in silken tones
with a faint purr behind each syllable, "and if you kiss his nose he
will bring your wish into this basket. Only one wish each, and be
careful what you wish for." And with these words the beautiful grey
ladykitty faded into nothingness leaving the basket and mouse behind.

"Well that's chapter one and I need a rest, kitties, so if you want
some more you'd better bring me some Kissamouse cheer!" said Juanny
with a grin. His own beloved Yarrow had crept in quietly during
chapter one and was curled up at his side. He lovingly licked the top
of her head and accepted the cup of Mild Nip Cider than Punkin
proffered.

"We want to hear more, we want to hear more of the wonderful story!"
piped Orson and Winston together. "Yes, yes, I'll continue soon. In
the next chapter you will discover the name of the beautiful grey
ladykitty. First I need to take a short nap, this is such a lovely
warm fire." and with that he curled around, his tail linked with
Yarrows and snoozed noisily.

After a short while Aurora came and batted him gently with her paw.
"Please do continue, dear Juanny, but first help yourself to these
tidbits. Four moths on a stick, and breast of mouse with nip sauce."
She said. Aurora then continued busying herself with the guests as
Juanny awoke from his catnap.

"Where was I" he murmured with a twinkle in his eye, "and they all
lived happily ever after." The little ones squeaked in disbelief and
Juanny grinned at them and said, "No, haven't got to that bit yet have
I." The kittens giggled and tumbled over one another to get the best
seat.

Chapter Two (Juanny continued)

There were a fair few kitties out on that cold night. If you counted
mine and Ky Aurora's claws you'd have about the number of them. There
was the basket sitting in the snow, with the toy mouse peeking out but
no sign of the mysterious ladykitty. "Who was that?" somekitty
ventured softly. Jake, the bravest of the group, stepped forward and
looked inside the basket. "There's a label sewed into the inside!" he
shouted and the others crowded around as he read. "Ky A Claws', I
wonder what the A stands for? Anyway, fellow kitties, I believe we
have been visited by a saint. We don't know her first name, but I'm
going to call her Saint A Claws! All the other kitties meowed
excitedly in agreement and so it was. They all began to refer to her
as Saint A Claws which very quickly got shortened to Santa Claws
because it was easier to say, and that is what she is called to this
day!

Now about the wishes.

Juanny paused to stretch and have an enormous yawn and Aurora chided
the helpers, "Now kitties there is no need to stop making decoration,
you can listen and work at the same time. What would you wish for if
you had just one wish?" she asked them as she organised them back into
the task of decorating the Tree. Juanny yawned again, stood up and
turned around three times before getting himself comfortable on the
mat again. He lay beside Yarrow who looked as if she was asleep but
she wasn't.

Chapter three (Juanny went on)

"So here we have a basket and a .toy mouse.to er.kiss." Said Jake
who's cheed fur had fluffed out in embarrassment. "Who would like to
go first?" He was just about to remind them about being careful and to
think before they wished, when an orange rolypoly kitten pushed
forward and quickly kissed the toy mouse saying "I wish for a million
trillion tins of cat food!"

Jake, thinking quicker than lightening, grasped the horrific
implication of the wish in a split second, and as the air filled with
an ominous rumbling and grumbling and the sky seemed to lose all of
its light, and several of the younger kitties began to cry, he cried
out "I-wish-that-wish-wasn't-granted!". The air cleared and a sigh of
relief whispered through their midst. Jake turned to Fluffy, (that was
the orange kitty's name) and scolded him. "We could have been killed!
What good are tins without tin openers anyway?" But as he saw the tear
well up in Fluffy's eyes, Jake and the others forgave him.

"That's two wishes used up, lets be more careful this time and just
make little wishes that we'd all enjoy," said Jake, and they all
agreed. The wishing continued in an orderly fashion, somekitty wished
for a giant cooked bird with yummy juices running out of it = enough
for all of them, and somekitty wished for sparkly toys that they could
bat around. Somekitty wished for a little fir tree that they could
hang the toys off and climb up. More food was wished for and there
were scarves and blankets and warm milk, no end of goodies and treats.
Oh what a happy clowder in that colfrosty forest! They ate and played
and had a wonderful time enjoying each others company.

Then there was just one kitty left to kiss the mouse and she sat there
thinking. She was a wise little one, and a deep thinker. She also had
a beautiful heart inside her that was full of love for all the other
kitties. Her name was Yarry and she was small and stripey grey.
(Juanny glanced slyly at Yarrow, who pretended not to notice.) She
talked softly to herself. "This is all very well for tonight, but what
of tomorrow and the next day and the day after that? What then of
these little ones?" Her eyes lit up and she began to purr loudly and
even laughed a little. She bounced up to the little pink toy mouse
(who was quite soggy from all the kittenkisses), and kissed it smartly
on the nose.

"I wish that all these kittens here be in nicenice humanslaves homes,
that won't 'bandon them and will love them and serve them good!"

The glade began to glimmer and shake, and just before everything faded
into the dark the kitties thought they caught a glimpse of a red cloak
and Santa Claws smiling to herself.

Each kitty found themselves in lovely warm humanhomes with yummy food
and smells and kind humans. And also, wonder of wonders each
humanlivingroom had a brightly decorated Tree in the corner with
lovely sparkly kitty toys to play with. Even though they missed each
other they had human company and as time went on and the household
would get another kitty (Juanny winked at Yarrow), the story of Santa
Claws an the Kiss-A-Mouse would get passed on.

"So there you have it, kitties, the first Kiss-A-Mouse. Of course the
humans got hold of the story and changed it into a MAN in a red SUIT,
but we know better don't we?" Juanny continued sleepily, "And what
happened to the basket and the toy mouse? Well, they are probably out
there in that forest to this day."

THE END

[Oze lukz down at Micah Blue an Malachi, hoo hav bin sitting at Oz'z
feetz listling intentlee tu da storee]

An wat wud yu wish fur if der wur a wishin mousie heer?

Micah Blue lukz up at hiz big broffur an sez "Ize wud wish dat
effurykitty in da hole wurld hadda nys warm plays tu sleep an gud fud
tu eet effury day".

Malachi sez "Ize wud wish dat effurykitty in da wurld hadda hoomin hoo
luved dem, an tu tayk kayr uv dem"

Doz ar furry nys wishiz yu tu. Ize fink weez shud all tayk a minit tu
fank Bast fur da gud lyvz weez hav, an purray fur alla da kittiez in
da wurld hoo dont hav deez fingz. Weez shud purray dat sumday, all
kitties (an offur kreeturz) will hav ful belleez, a warm plays tu
sleep an not hav tu wurree abowt bein hurt.

Oz sitz down tu kontemplayt an mayk hiz wish

[Oz callz fur effurykitty'z attenshun. Da room goze silint]

Hihi effurykitty; fur doze uv yu dat node mineself, mine naym iz Oz,
an Ize wun uv DaRennieKidz. Ize wud lyke tu tell yu a storee if Ize
may. Itz da storee uv da furst Kissamouse.

It was the Festive season once again, and dear Aurora, although very
frail now, invited some friends round to decorate the Tree. She asked
them to bring as many mice as they could find to make ornaments, as
she said "We shall make Santa Mousies, Angel Mousies and Little
Drummer Mousies. We can hang some from their little noses and some
from their tails. Won't our humans be surprised to see them hanging
from the Tree tomorrow!"

Soon the friends began to arrive. There was Aurora's elderly friend
Cleo, Punkins and PuddiCat, Simba, Orson and Winston, and a whole lot
of the younger ones who'd been invited by Cleo to learn how to make
Kiss-A-Mouse decorations. Juanny turned up shaking the rain off his
ragged ears with his paws full of mice. He walked stiffly but with
dignity. He wasn't as old as the other DOCs (Distinguished Older
Cats), but he had once lived a very rough life. He was always a
favourite with the little ones with his stories and his poems brought
tears to the eyes of the older cats.

"I'd like to help you all," he said cheerfully as he plonked the heap
of mice on the floor, "but I'm afraid I'm too clumsy for making
ornaments. Maybe I could tell you all a story while you're working
instead."

"Oh yes Uncle Juanny!" mewed the kittens, and the older ones smiled
and nodded. "I'll tell you the story of the very first Kiss-A-Mouse.
It maybe different to some of the myths you've heard, but everyone has
a story to tell and this ones mine." He looked around hopefully to see
if Yarrow had arrived yet, sighed when he saw she hadn't and began his
story.

Chapter One (he said)

Long long ago before anykitty can even imagine remembering, in a dark
forest in a cruel coldcold winter, with icemonsters and snowmonsters,
some little kitties were wandering about, lost and alone. The wicked
humans had abandoned them (booo-hisspit!). The humans had got them
(for some unknown human reason) and then not wanted them anymore.

I am sorry, little ones, to have to mention such horrible things and I
hope you're not too upset. That's the last time I will speak of the
wicked and evil humans (boo-00 hissspiitt!).

Anyway, these little kitties were wandering about by themselves, each
one alone in the cold darklights, shivering and mewing pitifully. Soon
there was a whole clowder* of them and they bundled up together to
keep each other warm and they began PURRING.

Well kitties, you know the power of PURRIN, especially ALL TOGETHER
and especially LITTLE LITTLE kitty purrs. Well, before you knew it,
something strange happened. There was a funny sort of light and there
in the snow and incemonsters stood a beautiful ladykitty, with silken
grey fur and bright yellowy golden eyes, and she sort of glowed! She
was wearing a red cloak with white bunny fur around the edges and she
carried a big wicker basket.

"What you got in your basket?" blurted one of the bolder kitties. (His
name was Jake and he was black with white paws.) The beautiful grey
ladykitty didn't seem to mind his question and by way of replying she
brought out of the basket a small pink toy mouse.

"This is a magic mouse, little ones," she explained in silken tones
with a faint purr behind each syllable, "and if you kiss his nose he
will bring your wish into this basket. Only one wish each, and be
careful what you wish for." And with these words the beautiful grey
ladykitty faded into nothingness leaving the basket and mouse behind.

"Well that's chapter one and I need a rest, kitties, so if you want
some more you'd better bring me some Kissamouse cheer!" said Juanny
with a grin. His own beloved Yarrow had crept in quietly during
chapter one and was curled up at his side. He lovingly licked the top
of her head and accepted the cup of Mild Nip Cider than Punkin
proffered.

"We want to hear more, we want to hear more of the wonderful story!"
piped Orson and Winston together. "Yes, yes, I'll continue soon. In
the next chapter you will discover the name of the beautiful grey
ladykitty. First I need to take a short nap, this is such a lovely
warm fire." and with that he curled around, his tail linked with
Yarrows and snoozed noisily.

After a short while Aurora came and batted him gently with her paw.
"Please do continue, dear Juanny, but first help yourself to these
tidbits. Four moths on a stick, and breast of mouse with nip sauce."
She said. Aurora then continued busying herself with the guests as
Juanny awoke from his catnap.

"Where was I" he murmured with a twinkle in his eye, "and they all
lived happily ever after." The little ones squeaked in disbelief and
Juanny grinned at them and said, "No, haven't got to that bit yet have
I." The kittens giggled and tumbled over one another to get the best
seat.

Chapter Two (Juanny continued)

There were a fair few kitties out on that cold night. If you counted
mine and Ky Aurora's claws you'd have about the number of them. There
was the basket sitting in the snow, with the toy mouse peeking out but
no sign of the mysterious ladykitty. "Who was that?" somekitty
ventured softly. Jake, the bravest of the group, stepped forward and
looked inside the basket. "There's a label sewed into the inside!" he
shouted and the others crowded around as he read. "Ky A Claws', I
wonder what the A stands for? Anyway, fellow kitties, I believe we
have been visited by a saint. We don't know her first name, but I'm
going to call her Saint A Claws! All the other kitties meowed
excitedly in agreement and so it was. They all began to refer to her
as Saint A Claws which very quickly got shortened to Santa Claws
because it was easier to say, and that is what she is called to this
day!

Now about the wishes.

Juanny paused to stretch and have an enormous yawn and Aurora chided
the helpers, "Now kitties there is no need to stop making decoration,
you can listen and work at the same time. What would you wish for if
you had just one wish?" she asked them as she organised them back into
the task of decorating the Tree. Juanny yawned again, stood up and
turned around three times before getting himself comfortable on the
mat again. He lay beside Yarrow who looked as if she was asleep but
she wasn't.

Chapter three (Juanny went on)

"So here we have a basket and a .toy mouse.to er.kiss." Said Jake
who's cheed fur had fluffed out in embarrassment. "Who would like to
go first?" He was just about to remind them about being careful and to
think before they wished, when an orange rolypoly kitten pushed
forward and quickly kissed the toy mouse saying "I wish for a million
trillion tins of cat food!"

Jake, thinking quicker than lightening, grasped the horrific
implication of the wish in a split second, and as the air filled with
an ominous rumbling and grumbling and the sky seemed to lose all of
its light, and several of the younger kitties began to cry, he cried
out "I-wish-that-wish-wasn't-granted!". The air cleared and a sigh of
relief whispered through their midst. Jake turned to Fluffy, (that was
the orange kitty's name) and scolded him. "We could have been killed!
What good are tins without tin openers anyway?" But as he saw the tear
well up in Fluffy's eyes, Jake and the others forgave him.

"That's two wishes used up, lets be more careful this time and just
make little wishes that we'd all enjoy," said Jake, and they all
agreed. The wishing continued in an orderly fashion, somekitty wished
for a giant cooked bird with yummy juices running out of it = enough
for all of them, and somekitty wished for sparkly toys that they could
bat around. Somekitty wished for a little fir tree that they could
hang the toys off and climb up. More food was wished for and there
were scarves and blankets and warm milk, no end of goodies and treats.
Oh what a happy clowder in that colfrosty forest! They ate and played
and had a wonderful time enjoying each others company.

Then there was just one kitty left to kiss the mouse and she sat there
thinking. She was a wise little one, and a deep thinker. She also had
a beautiful heart inside her that was full of love for all the other
kitties. Her name was Yarry and she was small and stripey grey.
(Juanny glanced slyly at Yarrow, who pretended not to notice.) She
talked softly to herself. "This is all very well for tonight, but what
of tomorrow and the next day and the day after that? What then of
these little ones?" Her eyes lit up and she began to purr loudly and
even laughed a little. She bounced up to the little pink toy mouse
(who was quite soggy from all the kittenkisses), and kissed it smartly
on the nose.

"I wish that all these kittens here be in nicenice humanslaves homes,
that won't 'bandon them and will love them and serve them good!"

The glade began to glimmer and shake, and just before everything faded
into the dark the kitties thought they caught a glimpse of a red cloak
and Santa Claws smiling to herself.

Each kitty found themselves in lovely warm humanhomes with yummy food
and smells and kind humans. And also, wonder of wonders each
humanlivingroom had a brightly decorated Tree in the corner with
lovely sparkly kitty toys to play with. Even though they missed each
other they had human company and as time went on and the household
would get another kitty (Juanny winked at Yarrow), the story of Santa
Claws an the Kiss-A-Mouse would get passed on.

"So there you have it, kitties, the first Kiss-A-Mouse. Of course the
humans got hold of the story and changed it into a MAN in a red SUIT,
but we know better don't we?" Juanny continued sleepily, "And what
happened to the basket and the toy mouse? Well, they are probably out
there in that forest to this day."

THE END

[Oze lukz down at Micah Blue an Malachi, hoo hav bin sitting at Oz'z
feetz listling intentlee tu da storee]

An wat wud yu wish fur if der wur a wishin mousie heer?

Micah Blue lukz up at hiz big broffur an sez "Ize wud wish dat
effurykitty in da hole wurld hadda nys warm plays tu sleep an gud fud
tu eet effury day".

Malachi sez "Ize wud wish dat effurykitty in da wurld hadda hoomin hoo
luved dem, an tu tayk kayr uv dem"

Doz ar furry nys wishiz yu tu. Ize fink weez shud all tayk a minit tu
fank Bast fur da gud lyvz weez hav, an purray fur alla da kittiez in
da wurld hoo dont hav deez fingz. Weez shud purray dat sumday, all
kitties (an offur kreeturz) will hav ful belleez, a warm plays tu
sleep an not hav tu wurree abowt bein hurt.

Oz sitz down tu kontemplayt an mayk hiz wish

Oz, sez Mosey, dat wuz bootiful, fangu sew mutch for reedin dat wunnerful
story *sniffs* I, um we wish tew dat effer kitty haz a nise warm hoam wif a
kind hoomin
hoo luvez dem, n lotza gud fudz n happeeness. Jest wike Micah Blue anna
Malachi sed We awl kount r blessings...yes tew purr and pray tew.
Mosey.