[OT] The process has begun

--
Kyla's Cat looked over her shoulder and watched her write this
"Kreisleriana"
"Ginger-lyn"
DH has made arrangements to move in with a friend, starting this Friday
or Saturday. My reaction is to cry; his reaction is to snap at me.

I feel your pain hon, I really do. My alchholic ex psychically and
emotionally abused me for 12 years and left me for my then best friend.

I know I did all I could.

Of course you did...but some men are just .IDK, they have to have it their
way or no way at all.


And I know that it will be much better emotionally for me once he is
gone.


Yes, yes you will...

But I do not know how I will survive,
and I am terrified.

Pray sweetie, for strength..I'll pray for you too.

He will be moving back in with the same friend he stayed with during our
"trial" separation. That didn't work out too well, so I hope it works
better this time. Because this time, he is NOT coming back.

May be for the best....when my ex left me, I had a nervous breakdown and
lost custody of my two small daughters. This was back in 1976.

I will be getting half his paycheck (for now). That will cover rent, cat
food and litter, and some food for me. It won't cover utilities or
credit card debt (and mine is *huge*). I think I can get on a program
that will reduce my utilities (based on income), so that should help. I
am going to have to cancel my dial-up backup, all the fancy things on the
phone I just got recently, and I'm not sure yet what else. The cats will
probably have to go on cheap food instead of the good stuff they're
getting now. I eat very little, and their are food pantries around, so I
am not too worried about food.

There IS help out there for you sweetie...

I'm babbling. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm lost. And I'm crying again.

Ohhhhhhh, BIIIIIG SQUEEEEEEZY HUG
It's hard, I know from experience...but you will survive.
Love, hugs , purrs and prayers
e-mail me if you'd like to talk hon
Kyla%b

Ginger-lyn wrote:
DH has made arrangements to move in with a friend, starting this Friday
or Saturday. My reaction is to cry; his reaction is to snap at me.

I know I did all I could. And I know that it will be much better
emotionally for me once he is gone. But I do not know how I will
survive, and I am terrified.

He will be moving back in with the same friend he stayed with during our
"trial" separation. That didn't work out too well, so I hope it works
better this time. Because this time, he is NOT coming back.

I will be getting half his paycheck (for now). That will cover rent,
cat food and litter, and some food for me. It won't cover utilities or
credit card debt (and mine is *huge*). I think I can get on a program
that will reduce my utilities (based on income), so that should help. I
am going to have to cancel my dial-up backup, all the fancy things on
the phone I just got recently, and I'm not sure yet what else. The cats
will probably have to go on cheap food instead of the good stuff they're
getting now. I eat very little, and their are food pantries around, so
I am not too worried about food.

I'm babbling. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm lost. And I'm crying again.

Ginger-lyn
Professional Idiot

{{{{{{{{{{{{ Ginger-lyn }}}}}}}}}}}}}
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Sending major-league
purrs for you to be OK.

Sam, supervised by Mistletoe

Ginger-lyn wrote:
DH has made arrangements to move in with a friend, starting this Friday
or Saturday. My reaction is to cry; his reaction is to snap at me.

I know I did all I could. And I know that it will be much better
emotionally for me once he is gone. But I do not know how I will
survive, and I am terrified.

{{{{Ginger-Lyn}}}}

Susan M
Otis and Chester

--
Kyla's Cat Pookie, looked over her shoulder and watched her and gave
advice with this
"Adrian"
Ginger-lyn wrote:
DH has made arrangements to move in with a friend, starting this
Friday or Saturday. My reaction is to cry; his reaction is to snap
at me.
I know I did all I could. And I know that it will be much better
emotionally for me once he is gone. But I do not know how I will
survive, and I am terrified.

He will be moving back in with the same friend he stayed with during
our "trial" separation. That didn't work out too well, so I hope it
works better this time. Because this time, he is NOT coming back.

I will be getting half his paycheck (for now). That will cover rent,
cat food and litter, and some food for me. It won't cover utilities
or credit card debt (and mine is *huge*). I think I can get on a
program that will reduce my utilities (based on income), so that
should help. I am going to have to cancel my dial-up backup, all the
fancy things on the phone I just got recently, and I'm not sure yet
what else. The cats will probably have to go on cheap food instead
of the good stuff they're getting now. I eat very little, and their
are food pantries around, so I am not too worried about food.

I'm babbling. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm lost. And I'm crying
again.
Ginger-lyn
Professional Idiot

Ginger-ly
l, I responded once before and you've been on my mind since...
YOU are NOT an idiot!! DH is the idiot!!! He's losing somebody
wonderful...
his loss. I know, sweetie, it hurts...BUT you have to gather yourself and
think of some things. Okay? Curl up a chair, have one of your kitties on
your lap, purring and comforting you, make some nice tea, and make a
list...
Are his clothes still there?
Pack them up and pack up everything up for him!
Ohh, I am so angered by this clod, I'm thinking meanly you could rub some
his favorite shirts in the catbox...but that would anger him...well, LOL
Get a lawyer..MH pays
..IDK how long you've been together or what your 'life' was like, and it's
none of my business...I'm just thinking, and I want you to protect yourself.
Is he on your lease? He can't just leave and not pay ...
Get it writing that you want FULL custody of your Cats
When he is finally out, change your locks and if need be,
get a restraining order against him...he sounds mean...
If the final move is this week-end, I'd have the police there, just to be
safe...
hey I watch Judge Judy, and I've learned things.
I imagine your kitties are feeling what's going on, and your sadness, and
you just need to take them and cuddle up with them, their lovely purrs will
make things all better.
Talk to them, and they'll understand and take good care of you.
Don't worry sweetie, everything will be okay...
You'll be just fine...
You will...
If you need me, I'm an e-mail away
Puuuuuuuurs
Prayers
HUG
Kyla

Ginger-lyn wrote:

I'm babbling. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm lost. And I'm crying again.

Ginger-lyn
Professional Idiot

{{{Ginger-lyn}}} You're not an idiot. This is not your fault. Please
take care of yourself. {{{{Ginger-lyn}}}}

--
Marina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.

((((((((((((Ginger-lyn))))))))

can't do much except send purrs and hugs, and plenty of both are on
the way
--
Steve Touchstone,
faithful servant of Sammy, Little Bit, Spot,
Princess and Furby
with loving memories of Rocky (RB)

--
Kyla's Cat looked over her shoulder and watched her write this
"Steve Touchstone"
((((((((((((Ginger-lyn))))))))

((((((((Ginger-Lyn)))))

can't do much except send purrs and hugs, and plenty of both are on
the way

Same here, and I'm praying for you as well
Love
Kyla%b
--
Steve Touchstone,
faithful servant of Sammy, Little Bit, Spot,
Princess and Furby
with loving memories of Rocky (RB)

Ginger-lyn wrote:

DH has made arrangements to move in with a friend, starting this Friday
or Saturday. My reaction is to cry; his reaction is to snap at me.

Those seem like pretty typical male/female reactions to stress. I'm
not surprised!

He will be moving back in with the same friend he stayed with during our
"trial" separation. That didn't work out too well, so I hope it works
better this time. Because this time, he is NOT coming back.

He came back before because the place he stayed at wasn't working out?

I will be getting half his paycheck (for now). That will cover rent,
cat food and litter, and some food for me.

It sounds like he's not a complete and utter jerk. I know that he's been
useless when it comes to emotional support, but it sounds like he's making
an effort to help you get on your feet economically. Of course, he should!
So I'm not saying he's anything special for doing that. I'm just glad he
didn't leave you with nothing. Sounds like he has at least that much
decency!

It won't cover utilities or credit card debt (and mine is *huge*).

You might call your credit card companies and find out if you can get
on a payback program, where you commit to a certain amount per month and
they lower your interest rates drastically. I did this when I was too
broke to pay a large credit card debt, and I've been paying the same
amount every month for 2 years. They brought down the interest rate
from something like 22% to 2%, so my payments are actually bring down
the debt! Really, they just want to get your money. They'd rather forego
the extra interest if it means you can pay back the main debt.

I think I can get on a program
that will reduce my utilities (based on income), so that should help.

Yes, the utility is required by law to make sure you have heat, even if
you're behind on the payments. The same is not true of electricity,
although I don't know what happens if you have electric heat!

I am going to have to cancel my dial-up backup, all the fancy things on
the phone I just got recently, and I'm not sure yet what else.

Most libraries have free internet access - that would be one way to save
money.

The cats will probably have to go on cheap food instead of the good
stuff they're getting now.

They'll be OK! Sure, it's better when you can give them quality food,
but you don't have much choice now. They will be fine.

I'm babbling. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm lost. And I'm crying again.

I'm sorry. Hugs & purrs that you will find a way to support yourself.
It's hell not having enough to make ends meet.

Joyce
--
To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name.

--
Kyla's Cat looked over her shoulder and watched her write this
wrote in message
Ginger-lyn wrote:

DH has made arrangements to move in with a friend, starting this Friday
or Saturday. My reaction is to cry; his reaction is to snap at me.

Those seem like pretty typical male/female reactions to stress. I'm
not surprised!

Yup, you're right Joyce...

He will be moving back in with the same friend he stayed with during our
"trial" separation. That didn't work out too well, so I hope it works
better this time. Because this time, he is NOT coming back.

He came back before because the place he stayed at wasn't working out?

I'm thinking DH has 'issues'...maybe he's a control freak or something?

I will be getting half his paycheck (for now). That will cover rent,
cat food and litter, and some food for me.

It sounds like he's not a complete and utter jerk. I know that he's been
useless when it comes to emotional support, but it sounds like he's making
an effort to help you get on your feet economically. Of course, he should!
So I'm not saying he's anything special for doing that. I'm just glad he
didn't leave you with nothing. Sounds like he has at least that much
decency!

When MY ex left me after 12 years, he paid the mortage pymt ($150 a month
back in 1976), and that was IT!!

It won't cover utilities or credit card debt (and mine is *huge*).

You might call your credit card companies and find out if you can get
on a payback program, where you commit to a certain amount per month and
they lower your interest rates drastically. I did this when I was too
broke to pay a large credit card debt, and I've been paying the same
amount every month for 2 years. They brought down the interest rate
from something like 22% to 2%, so my payments are actually bring down
the debt! Really, they just want to get your money. They'd rather forego
the extra interest if it means you can pay back the main debt.

Very good advice...

I think I can get on a program
that will reduce my utilities (based on income), so that should help.

Yes, the utility is required by law to make sure you have heat, even if
you're behind on the payments. The same is not true of electricity,
although I don't know what happens if you have electric heat!

Where I live, we can make pymnt arrangements with the electric company.

I am going to have to cancel my dial-up backup, all the fancy things on
the phone I just got recently, and I'm not sure yet what else.

Most libraries have free internet access - that would be one way to save
money.

That's a good idea!

The cats will probably have to go on cheap food instead of the good
stuff they're getting now.

They'll be OK! Sure, it's better when you can give them quality food,
but you don't have much choice now. They will be fine.

Yes, they will adjust....

I'm babbling. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm lost. And I'm crying
again.

I'm sorry. Hugs & purrs that you will find a way to support yourself.
It's hell not having enough to make ends meet.

Joyce

Joyce, you gave her some VERY good advice.
And we are also sending HUGS purrs and prayers for her too.
Kyla
owned by Pookie, Pipps, Sqweex, Mosey
--
To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name.

On Jan 28, 10:40*am, Ginger-lyn wrote:
I'm babbling. *I'm sad. *I'm depressed. *I'm lost. *And I'm crying again.

All I can really say is what everyone else has said- we're all here
for you and the cats are on massive purr alert

Yes.talk to the credit card company as soon as you can- they have a
vested interest in helping you because 1. They want their money back
even if they have to wait a bit longer. 2. It costs money to take you
to court and could rebound on them if you've made a reasonable attempt
to repay something (Get any agreement in writing and keep the
document( and 3. None of us know what the future brings- they won't
want to alienate a customer who might in the future suddenly come into
some money/win the lottery/get a fantastic job i.e. be able to afford
to use their services again

About 14 years ago, Dave and me were both out of work with massive
credit card debts, mine with MasterCard, his with Visa. Our own stupid
fault, we were so sure we would get new jobs quickly that we lived off
them (and we got hit for a few unexpected expenses) rather than
claiming etc. After all if it was only going to be a couple of weeks
why bother? Of course it wasn't and we woke up and realised it was
time to talk to the credit card companies....They were pretty damn
good. They told us we couldn't use the cards anymore but in exchange
for that, they didn't charge us interest and asked for a minimum
payment of 10 pounds a month until such a time as we could come back
to them and say "We're working again and we can up the payments" We
put ourselves through a lot of worry before we talked to them, which
turned out to be unnecessary

Hang on in there Ginger Lynn and I worry when you say "I eat very
little" if that's always the way you've been okay but you do need to
keep your strength up- (HELP!! I'm starting to sound like my mother!).
It doesn't have to be expensive, when Dave and me were skint we hit
the local greengrocers stall once a week and ate a lot of things like
vegetable curries and stews, in fact thinking about it , it was
probably the most healthy diet we ever had!

You'll survive because you're stronger than you think and you have
cats and you have us!

Purrs motors ready to rev for you....there they go...sending loud
purrs across the water for you!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs