New Words for the Dictionary

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are
asked to
supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners a
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you
have gained. 3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever
having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists. 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief
that, when you die, y our Soul flies up onto the roof and gets
stuck
there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts
worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are
this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding
stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 4.
Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 5.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
and it's like, a serious bummer.
10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you. 11. Glibido
(v): All talk and no action. 12. Dopeler effect (n): The
tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literatu
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com

Make Levees, Not War

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http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...120101397.html

Choice Words for Metro Riders

By John Kelly

Friday, December 2, 2005; Page C09

Metro paid an advertising agency to come up with its "Sniglets" campaign. I got
you to do the work for free or, at most, for the slim chance that your name
would be in the paper or you might snag a free lunch.

Who, I wonder, paid too much?

If you don't ride a Metro train or bus, you may not have seen the Sniglets,
which are "wacky" words and definitions that are meant to improve behavior among
us straphangers. For example:

" Sumpnspicious : n . unattended package or odd, unusual behavior that is
reported to a bus driver, train operator (via intercom at end of rail car),
station manager or Metro Police at 202-962-2121."

Leaving aside for a moment whether the cutesy-sounding "sumpnspicious" is an
appropriate way to address a possible terrorist attack in the subway, I knew
that you could do better. I asked for neologisms to describe certain annoying
Metro experiences. Here are my favorites:

The feeling you get when the Farecard machine repeatedly rejects every bill in
your wallet:
indollarable -- J amie S.
billfuddled -- Peg B.
unpresidented -- Joe G.
billimic -- Kevin D.
fareannoyed -- Howard W.

The act of pretending to be asleep, with your briefcase on the seat beside you,
so no one will sit next to you:
SamsoNight -- Justin B.
narcoklepsy -- Kevin D.
usurpossuming -- Mary Kay A.
bull-dozing -- Seth B.. (first among many others). Seth also added
sleepbensraum, the free space you hope to achieve by bull-dozing.

The smelly, scary and manifestly unpleasant person who sits next to you anyway:
scummuter -- Stephen D.
Metroll -- Sam H.

A person who stands to the left on an escalator, blocking commuters behind him.
escaloiter -- Jamie S.
impedestrian -- Steve W.
tourist -- Christine A.

A bus rider who opens the window when you want it closed or closes it when you
want it open:
contrairian -- Sidney S. (first among many others)
windowpain -- Steve F.

And Now, a Few Words From You-

I invited readers to submit their own words and definitions that get to the
peculiar joys and sorrows of riding public transportation in Washington. My
favorites:

uncranny: the ability to stuff a large newspaper so far into the narrow slit
between the window seat and the train car's wall that it is hardly visible. --
Sidney S.

dingbrat: the annoying person who wedges him/herself into a Metro car at the
very last minute, delaying everyone, long after the "Ding-DING . . . Doors
closing" has sounded. -- Patricia A. L.
metronumb: dazed by Metro's ding-dong chimes. -- Hank W.

adenoying: sleeping on a train with your mouth wide open and snoring. Judith C.

aisle-y cat: a standing passenger who resists herding to the center of a
Metrorail car to relieve crowding in the doorway. -- Art S.

iClods: headphone-wearing riders who seem unaware that their volume is turned up
so loud others can identify the song. -- Justin B.

touristerol: clumps of tourists that hinder circulation at train doors, on
platforms and especially on the narrow arteries of escalators. -- Mike C.
limbnast: a person who dashes onto the train using his arms or legs to force
back the closing doors. -- Hazel E. W.

Finally, Phil F. is my grand prize winner for his neologism describing the joy
we feel in other's pain when the Metro train door closes on them: shutonfreude.


On Tue, 17 Jan 2006 12:06:28 -0500, Kreisleriana
wrote:


Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

Kreisleriana wrote:
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are
asked to
supply alternate meanings for common words.

Suz once emailed me a similar list. The two lists mostly overlapped,
but yours was missing my favorite one, which was:

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a redneck.