For the women on the group

"Lesley" wrote in message
ups.com...

Christina Websell wrote:
Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.


Thanks! I am 50 next year and is this is what I have to look forward
to!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs


Ha us men have to get prostate exam nothing like another man saying bend
over snapping a rubber glove on lubing his fingers up with some cold a@@
stuff forgive the pun
Than using 2 fingers to go where Capt's Kirk famous saying comes into play.
Than trying to make jokes as he is doing it or make idea conversation.
While in your head you are screaming come one get it over with you are
tickling my tonsils

On Tue, 24 Oct 2006 20:49:49 +0100, "Christina Websell"
wrote:

Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.
Pre-op assessment Thursday. My cup runneth over with medical appointments
this week.

Tweed -- bad mood now

Anyone remember this blast from the past? (reposted without
permission, email addy munged):

**********************************************

Newsgroups: rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Subject: OT Humor?: Power Outage
From: Cheryl
Date: Sat, 03 Jul 2004 18:17:30 -0500
--------
(forwarded to me, this is not a personal account)

I know my memory's fading. I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I
chose a seat next to a man and his wife in the waiting room. Both the
chairs and conversations were so comfortable that before long I'd
totally forgotten why I was there and asked the man. "So...what are
you here for?"

Talk about a show stopper. Dead silence, just as "Nurse Ratchet"
announced my name in her best baritone voice. I thought, "Great..a
name to match the idiot."

I rushed past the giggles and hurried after the angel of no mercy.
Rounding the corner, I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky
clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side
and crooned, "Allll I need you to do is step into this room right
hereee, strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything
clearrrr?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda...try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. Call me crazy,
but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly
healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds.
Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice...it's
Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch
piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the
left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and move in a
tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered. I was freezing,
bruised and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my
legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity when we heard,
then felt, "zap!" Complete darkness. "What?" I yelled. "Oh,
maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag."

Belinda headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving are you?"
I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy.... the
door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be
righttttt backkkk!"

Before I could shout "NO!", she disappeared. And that's exactly how
Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked
and parts of me dangling from the Jaws of Life. After exchanging
polite, "Hi, how's it going," type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl)
asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
possible. "Uh, yes...yes, we did, thanks."

"You bet, take care," Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though we'd
been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making
no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said. "Oh, I am soooo sorry!
The power came back on and I so totally forgot about you! And silly
me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
clamps...


******************************





Jeanne Hedge, as directed by Natasha

============
http://www.jhedge.com

On 2006-10-24, Matthew wrote:

"Lesley" wrote in message
ups.com...

Christina Websell wrote:
Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.


Thanks! I am 50 next year and is this is what I have to look forward
to!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs


Ha us men have to get prostate exam nothing like another man saying bend
over snapping a rubber glove on lubing his fingers up with some cold a@@
stuff forgive the pun
Than using 2 fingers to go where Capt's Kirk famous saying comes into play.
Than trying to make jokes as he is doing it or make idea conversation.
While in your head you are screaming come one get it over with you are
tickling my tonsils

Well, the ladies also get the bimanual pelvic exam. Ask your
wife or girlfriend.

Sometimes the men get mammograms. A former coworker is on a
cholesterol reducing drug that has the side effect of
gynecomastia. You can't differentiate the lump from cancer by a
physical exam, so he had to go to the women's imaging center for
a mammogram. Yes, a man can get breast cancer. As he told it
he got a lot of funny looks from the ladies in the waiting room.
Things turned out OK for him. I just wondered how they could
squeeze out enough tissue to put on the plate.

I noticed my cat was making frequent trips to the litter pan
Sunday and I took Spotsie to the vet's yesterday for an
overnight stay in order for them to get a good urine specimen.
She had a lot of bacteria in her urine and therefore is on
Clavamox for the next 10 days. She had one of these sick spells
several years ago and came through OK. She's about 12 years old
and nine-and-a-half pounds, a spayed, dilute tortoiseshell
tabby. She has a peach-colored spot on the top of her head,
which gave her her name.

Bud

Christina Websell wrote:
Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.
Pre-op assessment Thursday. My cup runneth over with medical appointments
this week.

Tweed -- bad mood now

Ouch. Many purrs for hurting mammal area and for the assessment.

--
Marina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.
Stories and pics at http://koti.welho.com/mkurten/
Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/
and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki

"Lesley" wrote in message
ups.com...

Christina Websell wrote:
Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.


Thanks! I am 50 next year and is this is what I have to look forward
to!

Yep! They are keeping a special eye on me because of my ovarian ca, I
shouldn't grumble really. The machine could easily be used as an instrument
of torture! There's a fine line between "enough pressure" to get a good
reading and too much which was slightly exceeded yesterday. Very pleasant
radiographer who was expert at avoiding any embarrassment while handling the
parts she needed to.

Tweed

"Jeanne Hedge" wrote in message
news
On Tue, 24 Oct 2006 20:49:49 +0100, "Christina Websell"
wrote:

Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.
Pre-op assessment Thursday. My cup runneth over with medical appointments
this week.

Tweed -- bad mood now

Anyone remember this blast from the past? (reposted without
permission, email addy munged):

**********************************************

Newsgroups: rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Subject: OT Humor?: Power Outage
From: Cheryl
Date: Sat, 03 Jul 2004 18:17:30 -0500
--------
(forwarded to me, this is not a personal account)

I know my memory's fading. I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I
chose a seat next to a man and his wife in the waiting room. Both the
chairs and conversations were so comfortable that before long I'd
totally forgotten why I was there and asked the man. "So...what are
you here for?"

Talk about a show stopper. Dead silence, just as "Nurse Ratchet"
announced my name in her best baritone voice. I thought, "Great..a
name to match the idiot."

I rushed past the giggles and hurried after the angel of no mercy.
Rounding the corner, I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky
clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side
and crooned, "Allll I need you to do is step into this room right
hereee, strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything
clearrrr?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda...try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. Call me crazy,
but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly
healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds.
Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice...it's
Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch
piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the
left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and move in a
tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered. I was freezing,
bruised and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my
legs and neck and finish me off?


Ah, this is SO funny. That's pretty well what it was like, except for "put
your arm up here and your face against this x 2."
There has *got* to be a better way of doing this. It will need a woman
doctor to invent it.

Tweed

"Adrian A" wrote in message
...
Christina Websell wrote:
Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.
Pre-op assessment Thursday. My cup runneth over with medical
appointments this week.

Tweed -- bad mood now

Purrs for clear results.


Thanks, Adrian.

Tweed

"Matthew" wrote in message
...

"Lesley" wrote in message
ups.com...

Christina Websell wrote:
Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.


Thanks! I am 50 next year and is this is what I have to look forward
to!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs


Ha us men have to get prostate exam nothing like another man saying
bend over snapping a rubber glove on lubing his fingers up with some
cold a@@ stuff forgive the pun
Than using 2 fingers to go where Capt's Kirk famous saying comes into
play. Than trying to make jokes as he is doing it or make idea
conversation. While in your head you are screaming come one get it over
with you are tickling my tonsils

Ever had a smear test? I'm not sure if it's called that in the USA. Cervix
scrape for suspect cancerous cells. Of course you haven't. Think yourself
lucky for having a prostate test instead.

Tweed

"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...

"Matthew" wrote in message
...

"Lesley" wrote in message
ups.com...

Christina Websell wrote:
Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.


Thanks! I am 50 next year and is this is what I have to look forward
to!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs


Ha us men have to get prostate exam nothing like another man saying
bend over snapping a rubber glove on lubing his fingers up with some
cold a@@ stuff forgive the pun
Than using 2 fingers to go where Capt's Kirk famous saying comes into
play. Than trying to make jokes as he is doing it or make idea
conversation. While in your head you are screaming come one get it over
with you are tickling my tonsils

Ever had a smear test? I'm not sure if it's called that in the USA.
Cervix scrape for suspect cancerous cells. Of course you haven't. Think
yourself lucky for having a prostate test instead.

Tweed


We have some test just as bad won't go into details makes me cringe just
to think of them
just making a joke for the other ;-)

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
Christina Websell wrote:
Mammogram today, ouch, ouch and ouch. Results in 2 weeks - ish.
Pre-op assessment Thursday. My cup runneth over with medical
appointments this week.

Tweed -- bad mood now

Purrs for the results to be negative.

Thanks, Jill, I hope so.

Tweed