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#21
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"Vucket" "Wish List"
it also makes a difference as to the nature of the problem/disability...
physical disabilities tend to get into a rut or radical, emotional issues, and social issues, tend to be more geared towards support, Lee, who has found that WW is the only group activity she can tolerate on a regular basis Cheryl P. wrote in message ... Granby wrote: The problem I have with groups that "have the same disabilities I do" is that they tend to get in a rut. There gets to be too much thinking you "can't do that". Bull, I can do anything I am physically able. Yes, someone may have to lead me through the path but, that doesn't mean I shouldn't walk the path because someone else tends to limit themselves. Stereotype thinking really gets my goat. I have more abilities than disabilities and have taught my children to look at people that way. I never thought I'd be a group person, but now I find some of them an easy and simple way to meet people who share some of my interests! But I like a balance. There are times when a group of people who have similar problems to me provide essential support - or enable me to contribute a bit to some cause that I have a deep and personal connection to. And there are times when what I want and need is to forget everything else and spend an enjoyable evening on one of my hobbies with like-minded friends. Of course, there's overlap - sometimes a friend in a hobby group will want to talk about a personal problem, and sometimes people in a more serious - ie focused on a problem/disability - group will have a pleasant social evening. And sometimes - often, actually - someone expresses a perspective that I can't agree with, and I have to decide whether I should join battle or bite my tongue. If it happens too often or is over something too important to me to live and let live, well, I disengage myself politely and look for other ways to spend my time. Cheryl |
#23
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"Vucket" "Wish List"
Stormmee wrote:
I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided I can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee LOL Bridget |
#24
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"Vucket" "Wish List"
"Bridget" wrote in message
. .. Stormmee wrote: I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided I can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee LOL Bridget After my jump, my son-in-law gave me a sweatshirt. It has pictures of me jumping on the front and back. Below the picture on the front it says, "Skydivers: The few, The brave, The insane! Joy |
#25
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"Vucket" "Wish List"
Hey girl if I don't want to ride in one in particular how did we get to
jumping out of one? Not this old gal, no way, I don't even want to wait on the ground while someone I care about jumps. I saw once what could happen and that was enough for me. "Stormmee" wrote in message ... I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided I can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee Joy wrote in message ... wrote in message ... Joy wrote: My recommendation to everybody is to pick out the most important thing on your list, and do it as soon as you can. You never know what could come up to keep you from doing things, so do as many of them as you can. I might refine that a bit and instead, try to do the more easily accomplished ones as soon as I can. In my list, it's the mosaic class. Then, maybe some of the trips. I could probably swing some version of the lying-on-the-sand vacation, too - maybe not with as much luxury as I fantasize, but still pleasant. But I don't want to do it alone, so I need to find a travel partner. I don't know anyone who has that kind of vacation in mind. I forgot to list one travel destination I yearn for, because I was so busy focusing on where I might want to go abroad. But one that's not very far from me is the Best Friends Animal Society in Utah. It sounds like a pain to get to, but I could manage it, and I could afford it. And I could even go alone, because once i got there, I'd have plenty of people and animals to relate to. Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it, in a number of ways. I don't have the money to buy property. And I don't have the temperament to live in close proximity to other people. I'm just too grumpy and paranoid right now. So I have to work on myself, get over some of this depression and negative thinking/moods, before I can even consider making a home with other people. That's probably a later-on kind of project. I get your point about "Do it now, because we never know when we'll run out of time," the whole "carpe diem" thing. But the fact is, if I'm not ready now, I'm not ready now - whether I have 10 years in which to become ready, or I only have 3 days, and therefore will never be ready. Just because it would be useful to be able to fly if cornered by a tiger, that doesn't mean a human being will suddenly sprout wings, if you catch my meaning. Some of my dreams probably won't come true because I'm not able to do them in the time I have allotted. That's unfortunate, but it's life. I try not to compound the stress by putting too much pressure on myself. Joyce You're absolutely right! There are some things we can't do, but it's nice to dream about them. And there are things we may do someday, but we may not be ready for them yet. I jumped out of an airplane on my 70th birthday, but there's no way I could have done that even one year earlier. The important thing is to have at least some things on your list that you can achieve, and go after at least one of them. Joy |
#26
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"Vucket" "Wish List"
"Cheryl P." wrote in message
... Jack Campin - bogus address wrote: What I found living in one 30 years ago was that temperament didn't matter a damn. What counted was people's economic interests. You need to look at what ties people have outside the community and where those ties are going to pull them. You can live with somebody with funny moods a lot easier than with someobody who wants to sell the whole place up as soon as possible for whatever the market will bear, however charming they may be about it. It's not so much the funny moods that would make me shy away from anything like an intentional community - it's the cliques and conflicts of interest and gossip you get anytime you have a group of people, and which can, given the wrong people and the wrong kind of group structure or philosophy, rapidly become completely intolerable. I also tend to like solitude anyway, and prefer to spend a fair bit of time alone, with the rest divided among work and assorted interests (along with the people who share my workplace and personal interests). When I come home after a long day of this, I do NOT want to have to deal with not just moodiness, but he said/she said spats or being lobbied to take this side or that on various community issues. Economics are important, too, of course. I spend extra on housing so I have a private space where I don't have to deal with such things. Cheryl I, too, need my privacy, and I have also found a perfect balance. I have a number of friends at my church, and I know I could call on them if I needed help. I am also a member of Toastmasters, and have many friends there. The nice thing about an organization like Toastmasters (and many others) is that, no matter where you go, you have friends because you're part of the organization. I have visited Toastmasters clubs on all four of my trips to Australia. I have been asked to participate in the meetings, and often to give a speech. I have been invited into people's homes, usually for a meal. One Toastmaster gave me a two-hour walking tour of the town where I was staying. Another invited me to stay with her while I was visiting her city. Sometimes politics or personal differences intrude into Toastmasters, but usually I can stay out of those. I don't get involved in the higher levels of the organization, because that is where most of the problems occur. The most serious problem I've encountered at the club level was a member whose speeches were sermons. That might have been tolerable, in spite of the varied religious backgrounds of our members. However, his sermons were of the "If you don't believe exactly as I do you're going to burn in hell forever!" variety. We had to speak to him several times before he stopped giving that type of speech, but we lost a couple of members in the meantime. Usually, though, Toastmasters are a great bunch of people. We're almost all in the organization to improve ourselves and to help each other. Joy |
#27
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"Vucket" "Wish List"
Bless your heart they got the insane part right, you would have to be. I
cannot imagine ever having the nerve to do that. I have done some pretty risky things in my time but that one just creeps me out. WAY TO GO FOR YOU THOUGH! "Joy" wrote in message ... "Bridget" wrote in message . .. Stormmee wrote: I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided I can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee LOL Bridget After my jump, my son-in-law gave me a sweatshirt. It has pictures of me jumping on the front and back. Below the picture on the front it says, "Skydivers: The few, The brave, The insane! Joy |
#28
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"Vucket" "Wish List"
Jack Campin - bogus address wrote:
Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it, in a number of ways. I don't have the money to buy property. And I don't have the temperament to live in close proximity to other people. What I found living in one 30 years ago was that temperament didn't matter a damn. What counted was people's economic interests. You need to look at what ties people have outside the community and where those ties are going to pull them. You can live with somebody with funny moods a lot easier than with someobody who wants to sell the whole place up as soon as possible for whatever the market will bear, however charming they may be about it. Hmm. Sorry you had a bad experience, that sucks. I didn't mean that I thought my moodiness would make me an unattractive community member (although perhaps it would ). I just meant that because of my state of mind, and how I feel around people most of the time, I don't *want* to live in a community. I don't think I could tolerate other people being that close. So I'm not motivated right now to look for that kind of situation. So why even mention it as a goal? Well, in spite of my cranky misanthropy, I do need other people. It's lonely living by myself, without a lot of close friends or family close by. I hate being so introverted and paranoid around people. The happiest times in my life have been when I've been actively social, connected to a lot of people, and involved in communitiies. I'm basically a social person, but when I get depressed, I stop trusting people and then I withdraw. That's how things are these days, so seeking out an intentional community is out of the question right now. But the economic issue you bring up is also germane, because even if I were chomping at the bit to join a cohousing community, I wouldn't have the resources to do so. I know you were talking about something else. It sounds like you got screwed by someone who wasn't honest about his ultimate intentions. Stuff like this happens, sure. But a lot of other things could go wrong as well, even if everyone has good intentions. Joyce -- To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. |
#29
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"Vucket" "Wish List"
Bridget wrote:
I have incredible support in the community. I belong to a couple of organizations that I really fit in with. One of those is the Church and the other is a group of people who have the same disabilities that I do. I have found a great fit with these two groups - your groups of course would be different. These people have kept me housed and fed and brought me things I needed when I was sick and an incredible myriad of other things. I have been able to support them when they needed it and the company has been wonderful for them and for me. That is truly wonderful, Bridget. I'm so glad you have that. It's not like we live in a culture that supports this kind of community, so the fact that you have found people who are so generous and helpful is really incredible. Churches often seem to offer this kind of community support. I know a woman who joined the Unitarian church several years ago. She is disabled and has major mobility issues. When her condo was completely flooded, and she had to move into a hotel for months while the place was being repaired, the church members were amazingly helpful to her. She couldn't have gotten along without them. Joyce -- To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. |
#30
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"Vucket" "Wish List"
On Feb 15, 11:22*am, "Joy" wrote:
After my jump, my son-in-law gave me a sweatshirt. *It has pictures of me jumping on the front and back. *Below the picture on the front it says, "Skydivers: *The few, The brave, The insane! I like that! Things for my wish bucket 1. To go to Sydney- I have never flown in my life and the first flight I'd like to take is the longest! Typical! 2. To see the Rocky Horror show live-working on that this year 3 To get a book published just so I can say I done it 4 To finally see Zappa plays Zappa- we've had tickets for the last 2 UK shows and missed both of them 5 To run a convention game Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs |
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