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#141
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Age Appropriate Dress?
"pmendhall" wrote in message
... "CatNipped" wrote in message ... I agree totally! I get *SO* ****ed off when my SIL calls my youngest granddaughter "porker" - she is *NOT* overweight by even an ounce (http://www.possibleplaces.com/Raven/), she's just not as thin as her sisters are. But he *has* made her extremely conscious of her weight and what she eats and she's only *7 years old*!!! Catnipped, Raven is not overweight, she is a normal healthy 7 year old. In a couple of pictures she looks like she is getting ready for a growth spurt. Heaven help her when she gets ready to go through puberty. She will probably be one of the curvy girls. Your SIL needs to examine her attitude about what is fat and not. Sorry, I should have spelled it out, not my sister-in-law, but my son-in-law - *HER FATHER* - is the one calling her porker. He makes a huge issue of it every time she puts something into her mouth. He's always been this way with my daughter, too. She always wore a size *negative* one, then she had some problems getting off of Effexor and gained about 10 pounds (which she has since lost), and from the way he talked to and about her you would have thought she weighed 300 pounds instead of 130 pounds! This http://www.possibleplaces.com/CatNip...i/DCP_2592.jpg is a woman who has borne *THREE CHILDREN*! It sounds like she has the body image issues. I hope Raven doesn't buy into those as she continues to grow. She does, she has started to sneak food so that her father doesn't see her eat. It's so sad, and I'm so afraid for her. I keep hoping that my daughter will do all she can to counteract his influence, but she is terribly cowed by him - he's a bully. Hugs, CatNipped Diane |
#142
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Age Appropriate Dress?
Sorry, I should have spelled it out, not my sister-in-law, but my son-in-law - *HER FATHER* - is the one calling her porker. He makes a huge issue of it every time she puts something into her mouth. He's always been this way with my daughter, too. She always wore a size *negative* one, then she had some problems getting off of Effexor and gained about 10 pounds (which she has since lost), and from the way he talked to and about her you would have thought she weighed 300 pounds instead of 130 pounds! This http://www.possibleplaces.com/CatNip...i/DCP_2592.jpg is a woman who has borne *THREE CHILDREN*! She does, she has started to sneak food so that her father doesn't see her eat. It's so sad, and I'm so afraid for her. I keep hoping that my daughter will do all she can to counteract his influence, but she is terribly cowed by him - he's a bully. That is weird and creepy. What is his issue? Even if he finds very thin women attractive, you do not expect a 7 year old to be "Attractive" in the way an adult would be... I sincerely hope that this unfortunate flaw is his worst attribute rather than one of multiple problems. --Fil |
#143
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Age Appropriate Dress?
Enfilade wrote:
Sorry, I should have spelled it out, not my sister-in-law, but my son-in-law - *HER FATHER* - is the one calling her porker. He makes a huge issue of it every time she puts something into her mouth. He's always been this way with my daughter, too. She always wore a size *negative* one, then she had some problems getting off of Effexor and gained about 10 pounds (which she has since lost), and from the way he talked to and about her you would have thought she weighed 300 pounds instead of 130 pounds! This http://www.possibleplaces.com/CatNip...i/DCP_2592.jpg is a woman who has borne *THREE CHILDREN*! She does, she has started to sneak food so that her father doesn't see her eat. It's so sad, and I'm so afraid for her. I keep hoping that my daughter will do all she can to counteract his influence, but she is terribly cowed by him - he's a bully. That is weird and creepy. What is his issue? Even if he finds very thin women attractive, you do not expect a 7 year old to be "Attractive" in the way an adult would be... I sincerely hope that this unfortunate flaw is his worst attribute rather than one of multiple problems. --Fil This thread is getting _very_ disturbing. :-( -- Adrian (Owned by Snoopy and Bagheera) A House is not a home, without a cat. http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk |
#144
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Age Appropriate Dress?
Sorry, I should have spelled it out, not my sister-in-law, but my
son-in-law - *HER FATHER* - is the one calling her porker. He makes a huge issue of it every time she puts something into her mouth. He's always been this way with my daughter, too. She always wore a size *negative* one, then she had some problems getting off of Effexor and gained about 10 pounds Well, for what it's worth, my mother cried and said that I was 'too fat to lead a normal life' when I was a whopping size 16 as a teenager. Parents are remarkably stupid when it comes to knowing the effect they have on their children. My mother sent me down a path of bad self-esteem that led to a suicide attempt or two, a breakdown, years of therapy, finally ending at a size 32 and no desire to ever diet again. I exercise, and eat healthy and that's as far as I'm going. Never again am I going to let the number on a scale tell me how I should feel that day. Never. My 6-yr-old niece is already feeling the pressure, and comes home from school saying that kids are calling her fat. She is tall, and pretty, and very smart, and nobody in her family will ever put her through what our mother did, but she's getting it from school. Furthermore, her little pot belly is caused by the liver transplant when she was 7 months old, and the swollen spleen from later problems. Absolutely nothing to do with her eating habits. But kids are cruel, and this country is constantly pushing out the message 'better dead than fat'. Oh dear, do I sound bitter? You betcha. Jane - owned and operated by Princess Rita |
#145
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Age Appropriate Dress?
"Enfilade" wrote in message
ups.com... Sorry, I should have spelled it out, not my sister-in-law, but my son-in-law - *HER FATHER* - is the one calling her porker. He makes a huge issue of it every time she puts something into her mouth. He's always been this way with my daughter, too. She always wore a size *negative* one, then she had some problems getting off of Effexor and gained about 10 pounds (which she has since lost), and from the way he talked to and about her you would have thought she weighed 300 pounds instead of 130 pounds! This http://www.possibleplaces.com/CatNip...i/DCP_2592.jpg is a woman who has borne *THREE CHILDREN*! She does, she has started to sneak food so that her father doesn't see her eat. It's so sad, and I'm so afraid for her. I keep hoping that my daughter will do all she can to counteract his influence, but she is terribly cowed by him - he's a bully. That is weird and creepy. What is his issue? Even if he finds very thin women attractive, you do not expect a 7 year old to be "Attractive" in the way an adult would be... I sincerely hope that this unfortunate flaw is his worst attribute rather than one of multiple problems. --Fil Well, I have to admit, on all other issues he is an excellent father - very involved, patient, and thoughtful. But he has huge issues about weight (even with his own weight - he run incessantly to keep his weight down). -- Hugs, CatNipped See all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/ |
#146
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Age Appropriate Dress?
-- Joy **Don't believe everything you think** "Jane" wrote in message ... Sorry, I should have spelled it out, not my sister-in-law, but my son-in-law - *HER FATHER* - is the one calling her porker. He makes a huge issue of it every time she puts something into her mouth. He's always been this way with my daughter, too. She always wore a size *negative* one, then she had some problems getting off of Effexor and gained about 10 pounds Well, for what it's worth, my mother cried and said that I was 'too fat to lead a normal life' when I was a whopping size 16 as a teenager. Parents are remarkably stupid when it comes to knowing the effect they have on their children. My mother sent me down a path of bad self-esteem that led to a suicide attempt or two, a breakdown, years of therapy, finally ending at a size 32 and no desire to ever diet again. I exercise, and eat healthy and that's as far as I'm going. Never again am I going to let the number on a scale tell me how I should feel that day. Never. My 6-yr-old niece is already feeling the pressure, and comes home from school saying that kids are calling her fat. She is tall, and pretty, and very smart, and nobody in her family will ever put her through what our mother did, but she's getting it from school. Furthermore, her little pot belly is caused by the liver transplant when she was 7 months old, and the swollen spleen from later problems. Absolutely nothing to do with her eating habits. But kids are cruel, and this country is constantly pushing out the message 'better dead than fat'. Oh dear, do I sound bitter? You betcha. Jane - owned and operated by Princess Rita |
#147
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Age Appropriate Dress?
Sorry about that. I meant to include this:
((((((((((Jane and niece))))))))))) -- Joy **Don't believe everything you think** "Jane" wrote in message ... Sorry, I should have spelled it out, not my sister-in-law, but my son-in-law - *HER FATHER* - is the one calling her porker. He makes a huge issue of it every time she puts something into her mouth. He's always been this way with my daughter, too. She always wore a size *negative* one, then she had some problems getting off of Effexor and gained about 10 pounds Well, for what it's worth, my mother cried and said that I was 'too fat to lead a normal life' when I was a whopping size 16 as a teenager. Parents are remarkably stupid when it comes to knowing the effect they have on their children. My mother sent me down a path of bad self-esteem that led to a suicide attempt or two, a breakdown, years of therapy, finally ending at a size 32 and no desire to ever diet again. I exercise, and eat healthy and that's as far as I'm going. Never again am I going to let the number on a scale tell me how I should feel that day. Never. My 6-yr-old niece is already feeling the pressure, and comes home from school saying that kids are calling her fat. She is tall, and pretty, and very smart, and nobody in her family will ever put her through what our mother did, but she's getting it from school. Furthermore, her little pot belly is caused by the liver transplant when she was 7 months old, and the swollen spleen from later problems. Absolutely nothing to do with her eating habits. But kids are cruel, and this country is constantly pushing out the message 'better dead than fat'. Oh dear, do I sound bitter? You betcha. Jane - owned and operated by Princess Rita |
#148
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[OT] Age Appropriate Dress?
Jo Firey wrote:
Personally, I believe that a lot of "overweight" people live virtually in hiding because of the judgmental way there are treated by society. And I think its pretty sick that they have to. Again, the definition of overweight as hardly an absolute. As for mini skirts, anyone who wants to wear one should. As long as they are agile enough to keep the bare essentials covered. At last, a sensible answer! Thank you, Jo. Since when are we obligated to look good according to other people's standards? People seem to feel *entitled* to have a lovely view wherever they look, and they actually feel put out if somebody dresses in a way that they consider ugly, or they see a bare body part that's (gasp) fat or wrinkled. Don't like what you see? Please feel free to shift your gaze toward one of the other 359 degrees in your panorama. One of my favorite slogans along these lines: "I'm not here to decorate your world." Hee hee... Besides, I think we're all forgetting that beauty is not an absolute. It's totally subjective. So even if you think a woman in low-slung pants and a bitty top with a big belly is hideous, there are people out there who think that looks hot. Really, there are. If you don't believe that - or if you feel the need to label such a person as a nutcase or a weirdo - try to expand your mind a bit and remember that the world is a big place, with lots of people who have many different ideas of beauty. Joyce - relatively modest in public, but I *do* wear shorts even though I have fat thighs, because my comfort is more important to me than other people's visual sensibilities. And anyway, I like my thighs. |
#149
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[OT] Age Appropriate Dress?
Yoj wrote:
Engineers and computer programmers can often get away with dressing in a manner that would earn another type of office worker a reprimand. One of the things I've always enjoyed about being a programmer and technical writer (another techie position without a dress code). I don't mind having to dress up for certain occasions, and in many cases, it's a matter of respect. For example, I wouldn't show up at a funeral in ratty shorts and a t-shirt, unless I knew that the people attending the funeral were going to be dresses similarly. There's a big difference in my mind between dressing nicely or conservatively because certain social situations demand it, and curtailing your style or comfort simply because some people think you "should" or "shouldn't" wear certain clothes, *ever*. Joyce |
#150
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Age Appropriate Dress?
"CatNipped" wrote in message ... CN, First you say .... It's so sad, and I'm so afraid for her. I keep hoping that my daughter will do all she can to counteract his influence, but she is terribly cowed by him - he's a bully. Later you say Well, I have to admit, on all other issues he is an excellent father - very involved, patient, and thoughtful. But he has huge issues about weight (even with his own weight - he run incessantly to keep his weight down). Hugs, CatNipped My heart goes out to your daughter and granddaughter. I hope you can help them both in some way with the weight and self-esteem issue. As the mother of a daughter who married into an emotionally abusive situation, I know you are limited in what you can do. Fortunately for my daughter, there are no children involved, and when she finally realized what a jerk her husband is, she dropped him so fast it made his head spin and is starting over on her own. I'm not saying this is the same situation or answer for your daughter, but to let you know that I understand that they don't always listen to what you try to tell them and it's hard watching. Hugs to you, your daughter and granddaughters. Annie |
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