"Putting on Clothes With Mommy"

Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human

Mommy walks towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait, stalking the fleet
gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her prey and attaches
herself to Mommy's right ankle.

Mommy stops in mid-step in order to keep from slinging Sammy across
the room and hops around on one foot for a few minutes while Sammy
nibbles on Mommy's ankle.

Mommy detaches Sammy from her ankle and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

Mommy detours from dresser to bedside table, sits on bed and dabs at
bloody ankle with tissue and sighs.

Mommy rises and heads back towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait,
stalking the fleet gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her
prey and tries to attach herself to Mommy's ankle. However, Mommy is
onto Sammy now and sidesteps. Sammy misses Mommy's ankle and runs
head first into dresser.

Mommy picks up Sammy and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head then
gently places Sammy on the bedroom floor - all the while chuckling
evilly at having out-witted a wayward kitten (oh the depths to which
we can sink!).

Mommy opens dresser drawer to remove a fresh pair of undies.

Sammy jumps up into dresser drawer and starts rampaging through all
the neatly folded lingerie. Mommy disentangles Sammy from her undies
and gently places Sammy on bedroom floor, then patiently re-folds
lingerie.

[In deference to my tired fingers and to keep the length of this note
reasonable, please just re-read the above paragraph about 5 or 6 times
until we get to the next act.]

Mommy finally manages to extract a pair of undies from the dresser
drawer and close it before Sammy can rampage again.

Mommy bends over to slip on undies and thus Sammy realizes her prey is
tiring and it is time to strike again. Sammy jumps up and attaches
herself to Mommy's scalp.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her hair and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

In a rush to staunch the flow of blood from her scalp (head wounds
bleed freely), Mommy starts to walk towards bedside table for a
tissue, forgets that undies are still around ankles, trips on undies,
and falls headlong to bedroom floor.

Having finally brought down her prey, Sammy leaps on the back of
Mommy's neck in order to make her kill.

Mommy removes Sammy from the back of her neck and gently places Sammy
on the bedroom floor.

Mommy rises, pulls up undies, and heads for the bedside table. Mommy
sits on the bed, dabs at bloody scalp and neck with a tissue, and
sighs.

Mommy heads back to the dresser and opens a drawer to get a bra.
Sammy, having learned her lesson, is not lying in wait for her prey
under the bed, she is lying in wait for her prey under the dresser.
As her prey draws closer her tail starts to twitch with excitement.
As the perfect moment to strike arrives Sammy leaps out and attaches
herself to Mommy's left ankle.

In pain and shock, Mommy lifts up left leg in order to grab Sammy, but
said leg is too close to dresser and left knee smashes into underside
of open dresser drawer. Saying very bad words, Mommy swiftly leans
over to grab Sammy and in her anger miscalculates and smashes her head
on top of dresser.

Instead of kissing Mommy's boo-boos Sammy chuckles evilly (OK she gave
a high-pitched mewl, but it sounded like evil chuckling) and continues
to nibble on Mommy's left ankle.

Mommy finally manages to detach Sammy from her ankle and firmly places
Sammy on the bedroom floor.

Mommy heads back to the bedside table, sits on the bed, dabs at bloody
ankle with a tissue, and sighs.

Meanwhile, Sammy has jumped up into Mommy's bra drawer and is in the
midst of killing 3 of Mommy's best lace bras.

Mommy heads back to the dresser, dons a torn bra (there is a bit of
nipple showing, but the others are in worse shape), and sighs.

Mommy, now onto Sammy's drawer antics, opens her pantyhose draw just
enough to slip her hand in and quickly extract a pair of pantyhose.
In her haste to close the drawer before Sammy can jump in, she slams
the drawer shut on the tips of her fingers. Sammy looks up at Mommy
and smiles evilly.

Mommy yanks the pantyhose lose from the drawer and heads towards the
bedroom chair in order to don them. Sammy, seeing a sinuous beige
snake hanging from Mommy's hand decides to steal Mommy's kill for
herself. Sammy leaps up and sinks all four sets of claws and her
teeth into the snake and swings back and forth hoping her great weight
will pull the snake from Mommy's hands.

Mommy, finally understanding the futility of trying to don pantyhose
in front of Sammy, puts Sammy in adjacent bathroom and shuts the door.

Sammy starts to howl pitifully at the top of her lungs and DH peeks
his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's sake, let that
cat out of the bathroom before she wakes the whole block!"

Mommy dons a fresh pair of pantyhose and sighs.

Mommy lets Sammy out of the bathroom and starts to walk back towards
the dresser for a slip. Sammy, enraged at being denied her prey,
rushes headlong toward the retreating Mommy and launches herself at
the back of Mommy's legs.

Pantyhose rip along with a good bit of skin and Mommy shrieks in pain.
DH peeks his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's
sake…." Mommy picks up a slipper and throws it at DH's head. Sammy
sees the colorful bird flying across the bedroom and promptly leaps in
pursuit. The slipper lands next to DH's head, but Sammy lands ON DH's
head. DH shrieks in pain. Mommy smiles evilly.

DH brings Sammy into the bathroom with him in his search for tincture
of iodine and bandages. Mommy sits on bed, dabs at bloody calves, and
sighs.

Mommy dons a new pair of pantyhose and her slip while Sammy is
preoccupied with trying to grab a band-aid from DH's hand before he
can apply it to his forehead.

As Mommy heads for the closet to pick out a suit for the day, DH exits
the bathroom and Sammy streaks across the bedroom floor heading for
her escaping prey. Mommy puts on a burst of speed and manages to get
into the closet and close the door before Sammy can get to her.

However, Mommy hears a small thump and knows that Sammy has run head
first into the closet door. Mommy has a soft heart so she opens the
door, picks Sammy up, and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head. Them
Mommy gently places Sammy on the closet floor.

Sammy immediately heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor,
there to conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as
big as they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile
of shoes and stalks her prey – tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy starts looking through the racks of clothes to find an
appropriate suit to wear (the big boss is coming in from Los Angeles
today and she must look her very best).

Sammy sees the swaying clothes and thinks what a fun game it would be
to swing from them as Mommy pushes them back and forth. It has to be
just fate and not the evilness of one tiny kitten that makes Sammy
choose Mommy's best suit to jump onto. Mommy sighs as she hears the
ripping cloth.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her (formally) best suit and firmly
places her on the closet floor.

Sammy again heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor, there to
conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as big as
they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile of
shoes and stalks her prey – tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy dons her second best suit as she warily keeps an eye on Sammy.
Thankfully, the only thing left for Mommy to do is find a pair of
shoes to wear.

Mommy picks up her favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of tiny
teeth marks in the fine, soft leather and sighs.

Mommy picks up her next favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of
tiny teeth marks in the fine soft leather and sighs.

Since her prey is so distracted by her browsing, Sammy decides that
this is the perfect time to strike. The next time Mommy leans over to
pick up a pair of tooth-marked shoes Sammy leaps on the softly rounded
rump of the beast (the tastiest part of the prey) and attempts to take
a large mouthful of the succulent meat.

Mommy jerks upright and slams her head on the overhead shelf – at the
same time she feels Sammy's claws sliding down her posterior and hears
cloth ripping. This time Mommy lets out a primal scream of rage and
damn the neighbors! DH does not peek out from under the covers, but
wisely stays silent and unobtrusive.

Sammy, hearing the death screams of her prey, is greatly encourages
and attaches herself to Mommy's left ankle again in the hope of
bringing down her prey. Mommy hobbles across to the bed with Sammy
still attached to her ankle. DH scrunches even further under the
covers. Mommy lifts her leg onto the bed and says, "GET. THIS.
LITTLE. BITCH. OFF. OF. ME. BEFORE. I. DROP. KICK. HER.
ACROSS. THE. ROOM!!!!!!!"

DH cautiously peeks out from under the covers and removes Sammy from
Mommy's ankle and takes her under the covers with him.

Mommy can't sit on the bed because of her bloody posterior so she
stands next to the bed, dabs at her bloody ankle and posterior with a
tissue, and sighs.

Mommy sees struggling under the covers and knows that DH can't keep
Sammy contained for very much longer, so Mommy scurries back to the
closet.

Mommy dons her third best suit, puts on the pair of shoes with the
least number of tiny teeth marks (even though they don't match her
suit – at this point she is desperate to just get out of the door),
and runs across to the bathroom to put on her make-up.

And this is where my first story, "Putting on Make-up With Mommy"
begins.

Hugs,

CatNipped

CatMom to:
Bandit, (a.k.a. "Bitch Cat From Hell"), 14, DLH Tabby
Demi, (a.k.a. "Ghost Cat"), 5, DLH Pure White Beauty
Jessie, (a.k.a. "Jet Ski"), 4, DSH Tortoiseshell
Samantha / Sammy, (a.k.a. "Mini Me"), 2 ½ months, DLH Tabby

http://www.gcmensa.org/Cats.html (Jessie, Demi, Bandit)
http://www.gcmensa.org/Sammy/ (Sammy)

Silly Mommy.....
First of all, this is why I will never own a kitten again.

Second of all, one pair of pantyhose sacrificed to the cause would likely
have saved the day.

Third, had it been me, I'd have gotten everything from the drawers at once
(well, unless there was a caffeine deficiency in which case all bets are
off.) and been done with that game.

Fourth, when hubby opened his lazy mouth, he'd have found a kitten placed
firmly on his face.

Fifth - DAMN funny story.

TBird ----- never ever ever ever having kittens in her life again....

"CatNipped" wrote in message
om...
Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human

Mommy walks towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait, stalking the fleet
gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her prey and attaches
herself to Mommy's right ankle.

Mommy stops in mid-step in order to keep from slinging Sammy across
the room and hops around on one foot for a few minutes while Sammy
nibbles on Mommy's ankle.

Mommy detaches Sammy from her ankle and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

Mommy detours from dresser to bedside table, sits on bed and dabs at
bloody ankle with tissue and sighs.

Mommy rises and heads back towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait,
stalking the fleet gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her
prey and tries to attach herself to Mommy's ankle. However, Mommy is
onto Sammy now and sidesteps. Sammy misses Mommy's ankle and runs
head first into dresser.

Mommy picks up Sammy and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head then
gently places Sammy on the bedroom floor - all the while chuckling
evilly at having out-witted a wayward kitten (oh the depths to which
we can sink!).

Mommy opens dresser drawer to remove a fresh pair of undies.

Sammy jumps up into dresser drawer and starts rampaging through all
the neatly folded lingerie. Mommy disentangles Sammy from her undies
and gently places Sammy on bedroom floor, then patiently re-folds
lingerie.

[In deference to my tired fingers and to keep the length of this note
reasonable, please just re-read the above paragraph about 5 or 6 times
until we get to the next act.]

Mommy finally manages to extract a pair of undies from the dresser
drawer and close it before Sammy can rampage again.

Mommy bends over to slip on undies and thus Sammy realizes her prey is
tiring and it is time to strike again. Sammy jumps up and attaches
herself to Mommy's scalp.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her hair and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

In a rush to staunch the flow of blood from her scalp (head wounds
bleed freely), Mommy starts to walk towards bedside table for a
tissue, forgets that undies are still around ankles, trips on undies,
and falls headlong to bedroom floor.

Having finally brought down her prey, Sammy leaps on the back of
Mommy's neck in order to make her kill.

Mommy removes Sammy from the back of her neck and gently places Sammy
on the bedroom floor.

Mommy rises, pulls up undies, and heads for the bedside table. Mommy
sits on the bed, dabs at bloody scalp and neck with a tissue, and
sighs.

Mommy heads back to the dresser and opens a drawer to get a bra.
Sammy, having learned her lesson, is not lying in wait for her prey
under the bed, she is lying in wait for her prey under the dresser.
As her prey draws closer her tail starts to twitch with excitement.
As the perfect moment to strike arrives Sammy leaps out and attaches
herself to Mommy's left ankle.

In pain and shock, Mommy lifts up left leg in order to grab Sammy, but
said leg is too close to dresser and left knee smashes into underside
of open dresser drawer. Saying very bad words, Mommy swiftly leans
over to grab Sammy and in her anger miscalculates and smashes her head
on top of dresser.

Instead of kissing Mommy's boo-boos Sammy chuckles evilly (OK she gave
a high-pitched mewl, but it sounded like evil chuckling) and continues
to nibble on Mommy's left ankle.

Mommy finally manages to detach Sammy from her ankle and firmly places
Sammy on the bedroom floor.

Mommy heads back to the bedside table, sits on the bed, dabs at bloody
ankle with a tissue, and sighs.

Meanwhile, Sammy has jumped up into Mommy's bra drawer and is in the
midst of killing 3 of Mommy's best lace bras.

Mommy heads back to the dresser, dons a torn bra (there is a bit of
nipple showing, but the others are in worse shape), and sighs.

Mommy, now onto Sammy's drawer antics, opens her pantyhose draw just
enough to slip her hand in and quickly extract a pair of pantyhose.
In her haste to close the drawer before Sammy can jump in, she slams
the drawer shut on the tips of her fingers. Sammy looks up at Mommy
and smiles evilly.

Mommy yanks the pantyhose lose from the drawer and heads towards the
bedroom chair in order to don them. Sammy, seeing a sinuous beige
snake hanging from Mommy's hand decides to steal Mommy's kill for
herself. Sammy leaps up and sinks all four sets of claws and her
teeth into the snake and swings back and forth hoping her great weight
will pull the snake from Mommy's hands.

Mommy, finally understanding the futility of trying to don pantyhose
in front of Sammy, puts Sammy in adjacent bathroom and shuts the door.

Sammy starts to howl pitifully at the top of her lungs and DH peeks
his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's sake, let that
cat out of the bathroom before she wakes the whole block!"

Mommy dons a fresh pair of pantyhose and sighs.

Mommy lets Sammy out of the bathroom and starts to walk back towards
the dresser for a slip. Sammy, enraged at being denied her prey,
rushes headlong toward the retreating Mommy and launches herself at
the back of Mommy's legs.

Pantyhose rip along with a good bit of skin and Mommy shrieks in pain.
DH peeks his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's
sake.." Mommy picks up a slipper and throws it at DH's head. Sammy
sees the colorful bird flying across the bedroom and promptly leaps in
pursuit. The slipper lands next to DH's head, but Sammy lands ON DH's
head. DH shrieks in pain. Mommy smiles evilly.

DH brings Sammy into the bathroom with him in his search for tincture
of iodine and bandages. Mommy sits on bed, dabs at bloody calves, and
sighs.

Mommy dons a new pair of pantyhose and her slip while Sammy is
preoccupied with trying to grab a band-aid from DH's hand before he
can apply it to his forehead.

As Mommy heads for the closet to pick out a suit for the day, DH exits
the bathroom and Sammy streaks across the bedroom floor heading for
her escaping prey. Mommy puts on a burst of speed and manages to get
into the closet and close the door before Sammy can get to her.

However, Mommy hears a small thump and knows that Sammy has run head
first into the closet door. Mommy has a soft heart so she opens the
door, picks Sammy up, and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head. Them
Mommy gently places Sammy on the closet floor.

Sammy immediately heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor,
there to conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as
big as they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile
of shoes and stalks her prey - tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy starts looking through the racks of clothes to find an
appropriate suit to wear (the big boss is coming in from Los Angeles
today and she must look her very best).

Sammy sees the swaying clothes and thinks what a fun game it would be
to swing from them as Mommy pushes them back and forth. It has to be
just fate and not the evilness of one tiny kitten that makes Sammy
choose Mommy's best suit to jump onto. Mommy sighs as she hears the
ripping cloth.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her (formally) best suit and firmly
places her on the closet floor.

Sammy again heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor, there to
conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as big as
they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile of
shoes and stalks her prey - tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy dons her second best suit as she warily keeps an eye on Sammy.
Thankfully, the only thing left for Mommy to do is find a pair of
shoes to wear.

Mommy picks up her favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of tiny
teeth marks in the fine, soft leather and sighs.

Mommy picks up her next favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of
tiny teeth marks in the fine soft leather and sighs.

Since her prey is so distracted by her browsing, Sammy decides that
this is the perfect time to strike. The next time Mommy leans over to
pick up a pair of tooth-marked shoes Sammy leaps on the softly rounded
rump of the beast (the tastiest part of the prey) and attempts to take
a large mouthful of the succulent meat.

Mommy jerks upright and slams her head on the overhead shelf - at the
same time she feels Sammy's claws sliding down her posterior and hears
cloth ripping. This time Mommy lets out a primal scream of rage and
damn the neighbors! DH does not peek out from under the covers, but
wisely stays silent and unobtrusive.

Sammy, hearing the death screams of her prey, is greatly encourages
and attaches herself to Mommy's left ankle again in the hope of
bringing down her prey. Mommy hobbles across to the bed with Sammy
still attached to her ankle. DH scrunches even further under the
covers. Mommy lifts her leg onto the bed and says, "GET. THIS.
LITTLE. BITCH. OFF. OF. ME. BEFORE. I. DROP. KICK. HER.
ACROSS. THE. ROOM!!!!!!!"

DH cautiously peeks out from under the covers and removes Sammy from
Mommy's ankle and takes her under the covers with him.

Mommy can't sit on the bed because of her bloody posterior so she
stands next to the bed, dabs at her bloody ankle and posterior with a
tissue, and sighs.

Mommy sees struggling under the covers and knows that DH can't keep
Sammy contained for very much longer, so Mommy scurries back to the
closet.

Mommy dons her third best suit, puts on the pair of shoes with the
least number of tiny teeth marks (even though they don't match her
suit - at this point she is desperate to just get out of the door),
and runs across to the bathroom to put on her make-up.

And this is where my first story, "Putting on Make-up With Mommy"
begins.

Hugs,

CatNipped

CatMom to:
Bandit, (a.k.a. "Bitch Cat From Hell"), 14, DLH Tabby
Demi, (a.k.a. "Ghost Cat"), 5, DLH Pure White Beauty
Jessie, (a.k.a. "Jet Ski"), 4, DSH Tortoiseshell
Samantha / Sammy, (a.k.a. "Mini Me"), 2 ½ months, DLH Tabby

http://www.gcmensa.org/Cats.html (Jessie, Demi, Bandit)
http://www.gcmensa.org/Sammy/ (Sammy)

Silly Mommy.....
First of all, this is why I will never own a kitten again.

Second of all, one pair of pantyhose sacrificed to the cause would likely
have saved the day.

Third, had it been me, I'd have gotten everything from the drawers at once
(well, unless there was a caffeine deficiency in which case all bets are
off.) and been done with that game.

Fourth, when hubby opened his lazy mouth, he'd have found a kitten placed
firmly on his face.

Fifth - DAMN funny story.

TBird ----- never ever ever ever having kittens in her life again....

"CatNipped" wrote in message
om...
Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human

Mommy walks towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait, stalking the fleet
gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her prey and attaches
herself to Mommy's right ankle.

Mommy stops in mid-step in order to keep from slinging Sammy across
the room and hops around on one foot for a few minutes while Sammy
nibbles on Mommy's ankle.

Mommy detaches Sammy from her ankle and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

Mommy detours from dresser to bedside table, sits on bed and dabs at
bloody ankle with tissue and sighs.

Mommy rises and heads back towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait,
stalking the fleet gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her
prey and tries to attach herself to Mommy's ankle. However, Mommy is
onto Sammy now and sidesteps. Sammy misses Mommy's ankle and runs
head first into dresser.

Mommy picks up Sammy and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head then
gently places Sammy on the bedroom floor - all the while chuckling
evilly at having out-witted a wayward kitten (oh the depths to which
we can sink!).

Mommy opens dresser drawer to remove a fresh pair of undies.

Sammy jumps up into dresser drawer and starts rampaging through all
the neatly folded lingerie. Mommy disentangles Sammy from her undies
and gently places Sammy on bedroom floor, then patiently re-folds
lingerie.

[In deference to my tired fingers and to keep the length of this note
reasonable, please just re-read the above paragraph about 5 or 6 times
until we get to the next act.]

Mommy finally manages to extract a pair of undies from the dresser
drawer and close it before Sammy can rampage again.

Mommy bends over to slip on undies and thus Sammy realizes her prey is
tiring and it is time to strike again. Sammy jumps up and attaches
herself to Mommy's scalp.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her hair and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

In a rush to staunch the flow of blood from her scalp (head wounds
bleed freely), Mommy starts to walk towards bedside table for a
tissue, forgets that undies are still around ankles, trips on undies,
and falls headlong to bedroom floor.

Having finally brought down her prey, Sammy leaps on the back of
Mommy's neck in order to make her kill.

Mommy removes Sammy from the back of her neck and gently places Sammy
on the bedroom floor.

Mommy rises, pulls up undies, and heads for the bedside table. Mommy
sits on the bed, dabs at bloody scalp and neck with a tissue, and
sighs.

Mommy heads back to the dresser and opens a drawer to get a bra.
Sammy, having learned her lesson, is not lying in wait for her prey
under the bed, she is lying in wait for her prey under the dresser.
As her prey draws closer her tail starts to twitch with excitement.
As the perfect moment to strike arrives Sammy leaps out and attaches
herself to Mommy's left ankle.

In pain and shock, Mommy lifts up left leg in order to grab Sammy, but
said leg is too close to dresser and left knee smashes into underside
of open dresser drawer. Saying very bad words, Mommy swiftly leans
over to grab Sammy and in her anger miscalculates and smashes her head
on top of dresser.

Instead of kissing Mommy's boo-boos Sammy chuckles evilly (OK she gave
a high-pitched mewl, but it sounded like evil chuckling) and continues
to nibble on Mommy's left ankle.

Mommy finally manages to detach Sammy from her ankle and firmly places
Sammy on the bedroom floor.

Mommy heads back to the bedside table, sits on the bed, dabs at bloody
ankle with a tissue, and sighs.

Meanwhile, Sammy has jumped up into Mommy's bra drawer and is in the
midst of killing 3 of Mommy's best lace bras.

Mommy heads back to the dresser, dons a torn bra (there is a bit of
nipple showing, but the others are in worse shape), and sighs.

Mommy, now onto Sammy's drawer antics, opens her pantyhose draw just
enough to slip her hand in and quickly extract a pair of pantyhose.
In her haste to close the drawer before Sammy can jump in, she slams
the drawer shut on the tips of her fingers. Sammy looks up at Mommy
and smiles evilly.

Mommy yanks the pantyhose lose from the drawer and heads towards the
bedroom chair in order to don them. Sammy, seeing a sinuous beige
snake hanging from Mommy's hand decides to steal Mommy's kill for
herself. Sammy leaps up and sinks all four sets of claws and her
teeth into the snake and swings back and forth hoping her great weight
will pull the snake from Mommy's hands.

Mommy, finally understanding the futility of trying to don pantyhose
in front of Sammy, puts Sammy in adjacent bathroom and shuts the door.

Sammy starts to howl pitifully at the top of her lungs and DH peeks
his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's sake, let that
cat out of the bathroom before she wakes the whole block!"

Mommy dons a fresh pair of pantyhose and sighs.

Mommy lets Sammy out of the bathroom and starts to walk back towards
the dresser for a slip. Sammy, enraged at being denied her prey,
rushes headlong toward the retreating Mommy and launches herself at
the back of Mommy's legs.

Pantyhose rip along with a good bit of skin and Mommy shrieks in pain.
DH peeks his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's
sake.." Mommy picks up a slipper and throws it at DH's head. Sammy
sees the colorful bird flying across the bedroom and promptly leaps in
pursuit. The slipper lands next to DH's head, but Sammy lands ON DH's
head. DH shrieks in pain. Mommy smiles evilly.

DH brings Sammy into the bathroom with him in his search for tincture
of iodine and bandages. Mommy sits on bed, dabs at bloody calves, and
sighs.

Mommy dons a new pair of pantyhose and her slip while Sammy is
preoccupied with trying to grab a band-aid from DH's hand before he
can apply it to his forehead.

As Mommy heads for the closet to pick out a suit for the day, DH exits
the bathroom and Sammy streaks across the bedroom floor heading for
her escaping prey. Mommy puts on a burst of speed and manages to get
into the closet and close the door before Sammy can get to her.

However, Mommy hears a small thump and knows that Sammy has run head
first into the closet door. Mommy has a soft heart so she opens the
door, picks Sammy up, and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head. Them
Mommy gently places Sammy on the closet floor.

Sammy immediately heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor,
there to conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as
big as they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile
of shoes and stalks her prey - tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy starts looking through the racks of clothes to find an
appropriate suit to wear (the big boss is coming in from Los Angeles
today and she must look her very best).

Sammy sees the swaying clothes and thinks what a fun game it would be
to swing from them as Mommy pushes them back and forth. It has to be
just fate and not the evilness of one tiny kitten that makes Sammy
choose Mommy's best suit to jump onto. Mommy sighs as she hears the
ripping cloth.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her (formally) best suit and firmly
places her on the closet floor.

Sammy again heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor, there to
conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as big as
they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile of
shoes and stalks her prey - tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy dons her second best suit as she warily keeps an eye on Sammy.
Thankfully, the only thing left for Mommy to do is find a pair of
shoes to wear.

Mommy picks up her favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of tiny
teeth marks in the fine, soft leather and sighs.

Mommy picks up her next favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of
tiny teeth marks in the fine soft leather and sighs.

Since her prey is so distracted by her browsing, Sammy decides that
this is the perfect time to strike. The next time Mommy leans over to
pick up a pair of tooth-marked shoes Sammy leaps on the softly rounded
rump of the beast (the tastiest part of the prey) and attempts to take
a large mouthful of the succulent meat.

Mommy jerks upright and slams her head on the overhead shelf - at the
same time she feels Sammy's claws sliding down her posterior and hears
cloth ripping. This time Mommy lets out a primal scream of rage and
damn the neighbors! DH does not peek out from under the covers, but
wisely stays silent and unobtrusive.

Sammy, hearing the death screams of her prey, is greatly encourages
and attaches herself to Mommy's left ankle again in the hope of
bringing down her prey. Mommy hobbles across to the bed with Sammy
still attached to her ankle. DH scrunches even further under the
covers. Mommy lifts her leg onto the bed and says, "GET. THIS.
LITTLE. BITCH. OFF. OF. ME. BEFORE. I. DROP. KICK. HER.
ACROSS. THE. ROOM!!!!!!!"

DH cautiously peeks out from under the covers and removes Sammy from
Mommy's ankle and takes her under the covers with him.

Mommy can't sit on the bed because of her bloody posterior so she
stands next to the bed, dabs at her bloody ankle and posterior with a
tissue, and sighs.

Mommy sees struggling under the covers and knows that DH can't keep
Sammy contained for very much longer, so Mommy scurries back to the
closet.

Mommy dons her third best suit, puts on the pair of shoes with the
least number of tiny teeth marks (even though they don't match her
suit - at this point she is desperate to just get out of the door),
and runs across to the bathroom to put on her make-up.

And this is where my first story, "Putting on Make-up With Mommy"
begins.

Hugs,

CatNipped

CatMom to:
Bandit, (a.k.a. "Bitch Cat From Hell"), 14, DLH Tabby
Demi, (a.k.a. "Ghost Cat"), 5, DLH Pure White Beauty
Jessie, (a.k.a. "Jet Ski"), 4, DSH Tortoiseshell
Samantha / Sammy, (a.k.a. "Mini Me"), 2 ½ months, DLH Tabby

http://www.gcmensa.org/Cats.html (Jessie, Demi, Bandit)
http://www.gcmensa.org/Sammy/ (Sammy)

CatNipped wrote:
Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human

Mommy walks towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait, stalking the fleet
gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her prey and attaches
herself to Mommy's right ankle.

(snip Nipped)
CatNipped

CatMom to:
Bandit, (a.k.a. "Bitch Cat From Hell"), 14, DLH Tabby
Demi, (a.k.a. "Ghost Cat"), 5, DLH Pure White Beauty
Jessie, (a.k.a. "Jet Ski"), 4, DSH Tortoiseshell
Samantha / Sammy, (a.k.a. "Mini Me"), 2 ½ months, DLH Tabby

http://www.gcmensa.org/Cats.html (Jessie, Demi, Bandit)
http://www.gcmensa.org/Sammy/ (Sammy)

I have been anxiously awaiting this installment! Love the adventures of
your little Sammy kitten! Shall I send you more peroxide, bandages and
things to throw at your DH? G

Jill

CatNipped wrote:
Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human

Mommy walks towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait, stalking the fleet
gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her prey and attaches
herself to Mommy's right ankle.

(snip Nipped)
CatNipped

CatMom to:
Bandit, (a.k.a. "Bitch Cat From Hell"), 14, DLH Tabby
Demi, (a.k.a. "Ghost Cat"), 5, DLH Pure White Beauty
Jessie, (a.k.a. "Jet Ski"), 4, DSH Tortoiseshell
Samantha / Sammy, (a.k.a. "Mini Me"), 2 ½ months, DLH Tabby

http://www.gcmensa.org/Cats.html (Jessie, Demi, Bandit)
http://www.gcmensa.org/Sammy/ (Sammy)

I have been anxiously awaiting this installment! Love the adventures of
your little Sammy kitten! Shall I send you more peroxide, bandages and
things to throw at your DH? G

Jill

ROTFLOLWTIME!!!

I think we need to make CatNipped an Honorary Dave.

--
Joy

"You can never do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it
will be too late." _Ralph Waldo Emerson


"CatNipped" wrote in message
om...
Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human

Mommy walks towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait, stalking the fleet
gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her prey and attaches
herself to Mommy's right ankle.

Mommy stops in mid-step in order to keep from slinging Sammy across
the room and hops around on one foot for a few minutes while Sammy
nibbles on Mommy's ankle.

Mommy detaches Sammy from her ankle and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

Mommy detours from dresser to bedside table, sits on bed and dabs at
bloody ankle with tissue and sighs.

Mommy rises and heads back towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait,
stalking the fleet gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her
prey and tries to attach herself to Mommy's ankle. However, Mommy is
onto Sammy now and sidesteps. Sammy misses Mommy's ankle and runs
head first into dresser.

Mommy picks up Sammy and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head then
gently places Sammy on the bedroom floor - all the while chuckling
evilly at having out-witted a wayward kitten (oh the depths to which
we can sink!).

Mommy opens dresser drawer to remove a fresh pair of undies.

Sammy jumps up into dresser drawer and starts rampaging through all
the neatly folded lingerie. Mommy disentangles Sammy from her undies
and gently places Sammy on bedroom floor, then patiently re-folds
lingerie.

[In deference to my tired fingers and to keep the length of this note
reasonable, please just re-read the above paragraph about 5 or 6 times
until we get to the next act.]

Mommy finally manages to extract a pair of undies from the dresser
drawer and close it before Sammy can rampage again.

Mommy bends over to slip on undies and thus Sammy realizes her prey is
tiring and it is time to strike again. Sammy jumps up and attaches
herself to Mommy's scalp.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her hair and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

In a rush to staunch the flow of blood from her scalp (head wounds
bleed freely), Mommy starts to walk towards bedside table for a
tissue, forgets that undies are still around ankles, trips on undies,
and falls headlong to bedroom floor.

Having finally brought down her prey, Sammy leaps on the back of
Mommy's neck in order to make her kill.

Mommy removes Sammy from the back of her neck and gently places Sammy
on the bedroom floor.

Mommy rises, pulls up undies, and heads for the bedside table. Mommy
sits on the bed, dabs at bloody scalp and neck with a tissue, and
sighs.

Mommy heads back to the dresser and opens a drawer to get a bra.
Sammy, having learned her lesson, is not lying in wait for her prey
under the bed, she is lying in wait for her prey under the dresser.
As her prey draws closer her tail starts to twitch with excitement.
As the perfect moment to strike arrives Sammy leaps out and attaches
herself to Mommy's left ankle.

In pain and shock, Mommy lifts up left leg in order to grab Sammy, but
said leg is too close to dresser and left knee smashes into underside
of open dresser drawer. Saying very bad words, Mommy swiftly leans
over to grab Sammy and in her anger miscalculates and smashes her head
on top of dresser.

Instead of kissing Mommy's boo-boos Sammy chuckles evilly (OK she gave
a high-pitched mewl, but it sounded like evil chuckling) and continues
to nibble on Mommy's left ankle.

Mommy finally manages to detach Sammy from her ankle and firmly places
Sammy on the bedroom floor.

Mommy heads back to the bedside table, sits on the bed, dabs at bloody
ankle with a tissue, and sighs.

Meanwhile, Sammy has jumped up into Mommy's bra drawer and is in the
midst of killing 3 of Mommy's best lace bras.

Mommy heads back to the dresser, dons a torn bra (there is a bit of
nipple showing, but the others are in worse shape), and sighs.

Mommy, now onto Sammy's drawer antics, opens her pantyhose draw just
enough to slip her hand in and quickly extract a pair of pantyhose.
In her haste to close the drawer before Sammy can jump in, she slams
the drawer shut on the tips of her fingers. Sammy looks up at Mommy
and smiles evilly.

Mommy yanks the pantyhose lose from the drawer and heads towards the
bedroom chair in order to don them. Sammy, seeing a sinuous beige
snake hanging from Mommy's hand decides to steal Mommy's kill for
herself. Sammy leaps up and sinks all four sets of claws and her
teeth into the snake and swings back and forth hoping her great weight
will pull the snake from Mommy's hands.

Mommy, finally understanding the futility of trying to don pantyhose
in front of Sammy, puts Sammy in adjacent bathroom and shuts the door.

Sammy starts to howl pitifully at the top of her lungs and DH peeks
his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's sake, let that
cat out of the bathroom before she wakes the whole block!"

Mommy dons a fresh pair of pantyhose and sighs.

Mommy lets Sammy out of the bathroom and starts to walk back towards
the dresser for a slip. Sammy, enraged at being denied her prey,
rushes headlong toward the retreating Mommy and launches herself at
the back of Mommy's legs.

Pantyhose rip along with a good bit of skin and Mommy shrieks in pain.
DH peeks his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's
sake.." Mommy picks up a slipper and throws it at DH's head. Sammy
sees the colorful bird flying across the bedroom and promptly leaps in
pursuit. The slipper lands next to DH's head, but Sammy lands ON DH's
head. DH shrieks in pain. Mommy smiles evilly.

DH brings Sammy into the bathroom with him in his search for tincture
of iodine and bandages. Mommy sits on bed, dabs at bloody calves, and
sighs.

Mommy dons a new pair of pantyhose and her slip while Sammy is
preoccupied with trying to grab a band-aid from DH's hand before he
can apply it to his forehead.

As Mommy heads for the closet to pick out a suit for the day, DH exits
the bathroom and Sammy streaks across the bedroom floor heading for
her escaping prey. Mommy puts on a burst of speed and manages to get
into the closet and close the door before Sammy can get to her.

However, Mommy hears a small thump and knows that Sammy has run head
first into the closet door. Mommy has a soft heart so she opens the
door, picks Sammy up, and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head. Them
Mommy gently places Sammy on the closet floor.

Sammy immediately heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor,
there to conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as
big as they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile
of shoes and stalks her prey - tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy starts looking through the racks of clothes to find an
appropriate suit to wear (the big boss is coming in from Los Angeles
today and she must look her very best).

Sammy sees the swaying clothes and thinks what a fun game it would be
to swing from them as Mommy pushes them back and forth. It has to be
just fate and not the evilness of one tiny kitten that makes Sammy
choose Mommy's best suit to jump onto. Mommy sighs as she hears the
ripping cloth.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her (formally) best suit and firmly
places her on the closet floor.

Sammy again heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor, there to
conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as big as
they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile of
shoes and stalks her prey - tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy dons her second best suit as she warily keeps an eye on Sammy.
Thankfully, the only thing left for Mommy to do is find a pair of
shoes to wear.

Mommy picks up her favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of tiny
teeth marks in the fine, soft leather and sighs.

Mommy picks up her next favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of
tiny teeth marks in the fine soft leather and sighs.

Since her prey is so distracted by her browsing, Sammy decides that
this is the perfect time to strike. The next time Mommy leans over to
pick up a pair of tooth-marked shoes Sammy leaps on the softly rounded
rump of the beast (the tastiest part of the prey) and attempts to take
a large mouthful of the succulent meat.

Mommy jerks upright and slams her head on the overhead shelf - at the
same time she feels Sammy's claws sliding down her posterior and hears
cloth ripping. This time Mommy lets out a primal scream of rage and
damn the neighbors! DH does not peek out from under the covers, but
wisely stays silent and unobtrusive.

Sammy, hearing the death screams of her prey, is greatly encourages
and attaches herself to Mommy's left ankle again in the hope of
bringing down her prey. Mommy hobbles across to the bed with Sammy
still attached to her ankle. DH scrunches even further under the
covers. Mommy lifts her leg onto the bed and says, "GET. THIS.
LITTLE. BITCH. OFF. OF. ME. BEFORE. I. DROP. KICK. HER.
ACROSS. THE. ROOM!!!!!!!"

DH cautiously peeks out from under the covers and removes Sammy from
Mommy's ankle and takes her under the covers with him.

Mommy can't sit on the bed because of her bloody posterior so she
stands next to the bed, dabs at her bloody ankle and posterior with a
tissue, and sighs.

Mommy sees struggling under the covers and knows that DH can't keep
Sammy contained for very much longer, so Mommy scurries back to the
closet.

Mommy dons her third best suit, puts on the pair of shoes with the
least number of tiny teeth marks (even though they don't match her
suit - at this point she is desperate to just get out of the door),
and runs across to the bathroom to put on her make-up.

And this is where my first story, "Putting on Make-up With Mommy"
begins.

Hugs,

CatNipped

CatMom to:
Bandit, (a.k.a. "Bitch Cat From Hell"), 14, DLH Tabby
Demi, (a.k.a. "Ghost Cat"), 5, DLH Pure White Beauty
Jessie, (a.k.a. "Jet Ski"), 4, DSH Tortoiseshell
Samantha / Sammy, (a.k.a. "Mini Me"), 2 ½ months, DLH Tabby

http://www.gcmensa.org/Cats.html (Jessie, Demi, Bandit)
http://www.gcmensa.org/Sammy/ (Sammy)

ROTFLOLWTIME!!!

I think we need to make CatNipped an Honorary Dave.

--
Joy

"You can never do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it
will be too late." _Ralph Waldo Emerson


"CatNipped" wrote in message
om...
Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human

Mommy walks towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait, stalking the fleet
gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her prey and attaches
herself to Mommy's right ankle.

Mommy stops in mid-step in order to keep from slinging Sammy across
the room and hops around on one foot for a few minutes while Sammy
nibbles on Mommy's ankle.

Mommy detaches Sammy from her ankle and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

Mommy detours from dresser to bedside table, sits on bed and dabs at
bloody ankle with tissue and sighs.

Mommy rises and heads back towards dresser. Sammy, lying in wait,
stalking the fleet gazelle, leaps out from under the bed after her
prey and tries to attach herself to Mommy's ankle. However, Mommy is
onto Sammy now and sidesteps. Sammy misses Mommy's ankle and runs
head first into dresser.

Mommy picks up Sammy and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head then
gently places Sammy on the bedroom floor - all the while chuckling
evilly at having out-witted a wayward kitten (oh the depths to which
we can sink!).

Mommy opens dresser drawer to remove a fresh pair of undies.

Sammy jumps up into dresser drawer and starts rampaging through all
the neatly folded lingerie. Mommy disentangles Sammy from her undies
and gently places Sammy on bedroom floor, then patiently re-folds
lingerie.

[In deference to my tired fingers and to keep the length of this note
reasonable, please just re-read the above paragraph about 5 or 6 times
until we get to the next act.]

Mommy finally manages to extract a pair of undies from the dresser
drawer and close it before Sammy can rampage again.

Mommy bends over to slip on undies and thus Sammy realizes her prey is
tiring and it is time to strike again. Sammy jumps up and attaches
herself to Mommy's scalp.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her hair and gently places Sammy on the
bedroom floor.

In a rush to staunch the flow of blood from her scalp (head wounds
bleed freely), Mommy starts to walk towards bedside table for a
tissue, forgets that undies are still around ankles, trips on undies,
and falls headlong to bedroom floor.

Having finally brought down her prey, Sammy leaps on the back of
Mommy's neck in order to make her kill.

Mommy removes Sammy from the back of her neck and gently places Sammy
on the bedroom floor.

Mommy rises, pulls up undies, and heads for the bedside table. Mommy
sits on the bed, dabs at bloody scalp and neck with a tissue, and
sighs.

Mommy heads back to the dresser and opens a drawer to get a bra.
Sammy, having learned her lesson, is not lying in wait for her prey
under the bed, she is lying in wait for her prey under the dresser.
As her prey draws closer her tail starts to twitch with excitement.
As the perfect moment to strike arrives Sammy leaps out and attaches
herself to Mommy's left ankle.

In pain and shock, Mommy lifts up left leg in order to grab Sammy, but
said leg is too close to dresser and left knee smashes into underside
of open dresser drawer. Saying very bad words, Mommy swiftly leans
over to grab Sammy and in her anger miscalculates and smashes her head
on top of dresser.

Instead of kissing Mommy's boo-boos Sammy chuckles evilly (OK she gave
a high-pitched mewl, but it sounded like evil chuckling) and continues
to nibble on Mommy's left ankle.

Mommy finally manages to detach Sammy from her ankle and firmly places
Sammy on the bedroom floor.

Mommy heads back to the bedside table, sits on the bed, dabs at bloody
ankle with a tissue, and sighs.

Meanwhile, Sammy has jumped up into Mommy's bra drawer and is in the
midst of killing 3 of Mommy's best lace bras.

Mommy heads back to the dresser, dons a torn bra (there is a bit of
nipple showing, but the others are in worse shape), and sighs.

Mommy, now onto Sammy's drawer antics, opens her pantyhose draw just
enough to slip her hand in and quickly extract a pair of pantyhose.
In her haste to close the drawer before Sammy can jump in, she slams
the drawer shut on the tips of her fingers. Sammy looks up at Mommy
and smiles evilly.

Mommy yanks the pantyhose lose from the drawer and heads towards the
bedroom chair in order to don them. Sammy, seeing a sinuous beige
snake hanging from Mommy's hand decides to steal Mommy's kill for
herself. Sammy leaps up and sinks all four sets of claws and her
teeth into the snake and swings back and forth hoping her great weight
will pull the snake from Mommy's hands.

Mommy, finally understanding the futility of trying to don pantyhose
in front of Sammy, puts Sammy in adjacent bathroom and shuts the door.

Sammy starts to howl pitifully at the top of her lungs and DH peeks
his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's sake, let that
cat out of the bathroom before she wakes the whole block!"

Mommy dons a fresh pair of pantyhose and sighs.

Mommy lets Sammy out of the bathroom and starts to walk back towards
the dresser for a slip. Sammy, enraged at being denied her prey,
rushes headlong toward the retreating Mommy and launches herself at
the back of Mommy's legs.

Pantyhose rip along with a good bit of skin and Mommy shrieks in pain.
DH peeks his head out from under the covers to yell, "For gawd's
sake.." Mommy picks up a slipper and throws it at DH's head. Sammy
sees the colorful bird flying across the bedroom and promptly leaps in
pursuit. The slipper lands next to DH's head, but Sammy lands ON DH's
head. DH shrieks in pain. Mommy smiles evilly.

DH brings Sammy into the bathroom with him in his search for tincture
of iodine and bandages. Mommy sits on bed, dabs at bloody calves, and
sighs.

Mommy dons a new pair of pantyhose and her slip while Sammy is
preoccupied with trying to grab a band-aid from DH's hand before he
can apply it to his forehead.

As Mommy heads for the closet to pick out a suit for the day, DH exits
the bathroom and Sammy streaks across the bedroom floor heading for
her escaping prey. Mommy puts on a burst of speed and manages to get
into the closet and close the door before Sammy can get to her.

However, Mommy hears a small thump and knows that Sammy has run head
first into the closet door. Mommy has a soft heart so she opens the
door, picks Sammy up, and kisses the boo-boo on Sammy's head. Them
Mommy gently places Sammy on the closet floor.

Sammy immediately heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor,
there to conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as
big as they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile
of shoes and stalks her prey - tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy starts looking through the racks of clothes to find an
appropriate suit to wear (the big boss is coming in from Los Angeles
today and she must look her very best).

Sammy sees the swaying clothes and thinks what a fun game it would be
to swing from them as Mommy pushes them back and forth. It has to be
just fate and not the evilness of one tiny kitten that makes Sammy
choose Mommy's best suit to jump onto. Mommy sighs as she hears the
ripping cloth.

Mommy disentangles Sammy from her (formally) best suit and firmly
places her on the closet floor.

Sammy again heads for the pile of shoes on the closet floor, there to
conceal herself from her prey. Her little eyes are open as big as
they can get and her neck is craning as she peers over the pile of
shoes and stalks her prey - tail twitching in anticipation.

Mommy dons her second best suit as she warily keeps an eye on Sammy.
Thankfully, the only thing left for Mommy to do is find a pair of
shoes to wear.

Mommy picks up her favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of tiny
teeth marks in the fine, soft leather and sighs.

Mommy picks up her next favorite pair of shoes and notices hundreds of
tiny teeth marks in the fine soft leather and sighs.

Since her prey is so distracted by her browsing, Sammy decides that
this is the perfect time to strike. The next time Mommy leans over to
pick up a pair of tooth-marked shoes Sammy leaps on the softly rounded
rump of the beast (the tastiest part of the prey) and attempts to take
a large mouthful of the succulent meat.

Mommy jerks upright and slams her head on the overhead shelf - at the
same time she feels Sammy's claws sliding down her posterior and hears
cloth ripping. This time Mommy lets out a primal scream of rage and
damn the neighbors! DH does not peek out from under the covers, but
wisely stays silent and unobtrusive.

Sammy, hearing the death screams of her prey, is greatly encourages
and attaches herself to Mommy's left ankle again in the hope of
bringing down her prey. Mommy hobbles across to the bed with Sammy
still attached to her ankle. DH scrunches even further under the
covers. Mommy lifts her leg onto the bed and says, "GET. THIS.
LITTLE. BITCH. OFF. OF. ME. BEFORE. I. DROP. KICK. HER.
ACROSS. THE. ROOM!!!!!!!"

DH cautiously peeks out from under the covers and removes Sammy from
Mommy's ankle and takes her under the covers with him.

Mommy can't sit on the bed because of her bloody posterior so she
stands next to the bed, dabs at her bloody ankle and posterior with a
tissue, and sighs.

Mommy sees struggling under the covers and knows that DH can't keep
Sammy contained for very much longer, so Mommy scurries back to the
closet.

Mommy dons her third best suit, puts on the pair of shoes with the
least number of tiny teeth marks (even though they don't match her
suit - at this point she is desperate to just get out of the door),
and runs across to the bathroom to put on her make-up.

And this is where my first story, "Putting on Make-up With Mommy"
begins.

Hugs,

CatNipped

CatMom to:
Bandit, (a.k.a. "Bitch Cat From Hell"), 14, DLH Tabby
Demi, (a.k.a. "Ghost Cat"), 5, DLH Pure White Beauty
Jessie, (a.k.a. "Jet Ski"), 4, DSH Tortoiseshell
Samantha / Sammy, (a.k.a. "Mini Me"), 2 ½ months, DLH Tabby

http://www.gcmensa.org/Cats.html (Jessie, Demi, Bandit)
http://www.gcmensa.org/Sammy/ (Sammy)

"CatNipped" wrote
Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human


snippety

ROFL! It was worth the wait!

--
Marina, missing Frank and Nikki
Email marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi
Pics at http://uk.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/frankiennikki

"CatNipped" wrote
Cast of characters:

Sammy - 2 1/2 month old kitten
Mommy - MUCH older human


snippety

ROFL! It was worth the wait!

--
Marina, missing Frank and Nikki
Email marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi
Pics at http://uk.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/frankiennikki

OK, for those of you who think I was making all this up - I have pictures!!!

http://www.gcmensa.org/Sammy2/

Hugs,

CatNipped

CatMom to:
Bandit, (a.k.a. "Bitch Cat From Hell"), 14, DLH Tabby
Demi, (a.k.a. "Ghost Cat"), 5, DLH Pure White Beauty
Jessie, (a.k.a. "Jet Ski"), 4, DSH Tortoiseshell
Samantha / Sammy, (a.k.a. "Mini Me"), 2 ½ months, DLH Tabby

http://www.gcmensa.org/Cats.html (Jessie, Demi, Bandit)
http://www.gcmensa.org/Sammy/ (Sammy)