Scary Cat Diary

Cat Diary

Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Day 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on
their bed.

Day 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
deprivation, incessant pleas for food at all hours of the night.

Day 767 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

Day 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I
was chosen for the water torture.This time, however, it included a burning
foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid?
My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

Day 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear
the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More
importantly I overheard that my
confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage.

Day 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue, something akin to mole
speak, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the metal, room his safety is assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time?