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Joke Committee
This is the transcription of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, October 1998. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations10-10-98. IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. IRISH: Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course. BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER- MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. IRISH: We are a lighthouse................Your Call Bev -- I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic. |
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"Bev" wrote in message ... This is the transcription of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, October 1998. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations10-10-98. IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. IRISH: Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course. BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER- MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. IRISH: We are a lighthouse................Your Call Bev -- I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic. hysterical! Brenda |
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"Bev" wrote in message
... This is the transcription of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, October 1998. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations10-10-98. IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. There's actually a video of an American navy ship (Arleigh Burke) running at high speed and in high seas that runs along similar lines. Very clever. It reminds me of a "Little Johnny" joke: Mum gets out of bed first thing in the morning to get her son ready for school... Mum knocks on Johnny's door and says: "Johnny, time to get up" No response so mum goes to the kitchen and prepares breakfast. 10 minutes later, mum goes back to Johnny's bedroom door, knocking louder and says: "Johhny, _get out of bed!_ No response so mum opens the door to see Johnny still in bed with the covers over his head. Mum: "Johnny, did you hear me? The only response is that Johnny ducks further under the covers. Mum: "JOHNNY! Get out of bed *now*" Johnny: "I'm not going to school". Mum: "Johnny, you have to go to school, now get out of bed!" Johnny: "But mum, the kids all laugh at me". Mum: "It doesn't matter, just ignore them, you HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL" Johnny: "But mum, the teachers all talk about me behind my back". Mum, very upset by this time: "JOHNNY, GET OUT OF BED!" Johhny: "OHHHH, MUM!!!" Mum: "Johnny, get out of bed, you have to go to school, you're the Principle!" -- Alan Erskine We can get people to the Moon in five years, not the fifteen GWB proposes. Give NASA a real challenge |
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