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The Insensitive and Uncaring families Rant



 
 
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  #111  
Old December 31st 04, 05:34 PM
CatNipped
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"Mogget" wrote in message
...

Because what you get out of it is so good. Now that I'm recovered from
the worst, I can look back and say that even if I had known what was
going to happen to me, I would still have chosen to have a baby, because
my little frog is unquestionably worth it.
--
Mogget


Oh, don't get me wrong, I think having children was the best thing I've ever
done for the world, much less myself. I would do it again in a heartbeat,
and I think it was worth all the hard work and heartache. My children, and
grandchildren, are remarkably lovely, good, and kind people who have taken
the love I've given them and spread it throughout their world a
thousand-fold.

What I was expressing was, like everything else, TV and movies make
motherhood seem like fun and games and sweetness and light, with *NO*
problems that can't be solved in a half-hour episode. And all those
relatives and friends who are pushing you into having children when you
might not be ready probably won't be there to help you when real life kicks
in.

If you're thinking about having children, but are not sure you want to, you
should know what you're getting into by hearing about the bad times (and no
matter how lucky you are or how angelic your children might be, there *WILL*
be bad times) as well as hearing about all the rewarding things you'll
experience.

So, like Erma Bombeck, I tend to tell it like it is - not glossing over the
times you want to commit retroactive abortion! However glad I am now that I
managed to refrain from doing so, that didn't make it any less painful to
deal with at the time. And if you're not *COMPLETELY* committed to
parenthood, those bad times could lead you to make some terrible mistakes.
If you are completely committed to parenthood, those bad times are just
things that make your bond with your children stronger.

Being a parent is *THE* most important job on earth. It should only be
taken on by those who go into it with eyes wide open and a heart that's
willing to be broken a thousand times before your children are grown. It's
the most thankless job (children *aren't* going to be thanking you for
teaching them how to be civilized) as well as the most rewarding.

If you aren't one hundred percent sure you want children, then the wisest,
kindest thing you can do is to refrain from having children until you are
completely sure you want to live your entire life putting someone else's
needs ahead of your own every single minute of every single day.

It's not selfish to not have children if you're not ready, it's selfish to
have children because you've been pressured into it and gave into that
pressure just to get people off your back about it. It's selfish to enter
parenthood when you're not completely committed to it, because then you're
not going to give your children the very best of what you are - and anything
less is totally unacceptable.

Hugs,

CatNipped


  #113  
Old December 31st 04, 08:11 PM
dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers
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This thread has got me thinking. It is wrong to generalise about a
single family, yet some people still tend to generalise about an entire
country. I for one am very glad that you find wonderfull people in every
country on earth, and the really nasty people are a small miority.


Indeed.

One of the consistant comments I hear from news reports where survivors are
interviewed when they arrive back over here is how, in the aftermath of the
tsunami, when the local people in the countries hit, who had lost *everything*
they still showed supreme kindness and concern for strangers to their country,
making sure they were okay and getting them the help they needed before they
took care of their own needs. That has repeatedly struck me as how we are all
human and we really should care about those on the other side of the world,
less fortunate than we are.

Cheers, helen s


--This is an invalid email address to avoid spam--
to get correct one remove fame & fortune
**$om $

--Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel is switched off--



  #114  
Old January 1st 05, 06:12 PM
Mary
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"Sherry " wrote in message
...
Yup, your mom's a psycho. Isn't it amazing that so many of us are
normal considering all the psychological damage from our parents? Shows
how resilient the hoomin condition can be.

Pam S. shuddering in sympathy for Flippy

That's basically what my sister and I say with amazement sometimes. "It's

a
wonder we turned out as normal as we are."

Sherry --- hopes everyone with a crummy childhood has a sister.
Parent-bashing just isn't the same with anybody else.


Unfortuately, my sister is the psycho!


  #115  
Old January 1st 05, 09:03 PM
Tanada
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JBHajos wrote:


Though she died about six years ago and can no longer hurt us, we
can't seem to let go of the pain. Or perhaps talking about it
mitigates it somewhat. Anyway, my brother is fine, perfectly normal;
wish I could say the same for *me*!!!

Jeanne


Jeanne, if you were normal, you wouldn't be in here, and you'd miss so
much. Not only that, but we'd miss you too.

Pam S. who claims the cats are pet therapy specialists

  #116  
Old January 2nd 05, 08:27 AM
Sherry
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Or a little old man! I remember when I was about ten, my mother took me
to see a neighbor's newborn baby boy. They had them at home in those
days. This was the woman's sixth kid and she gushed that it was the
"prettiest" baby she had ever had. Looking at it offended my
sensibilities -- I thought it was the ugliest little old man I had ever
seen. MLB

I remember thinking my daughter was the most beautiful baby ever born. Now I
look at pictures and just laugh. She had this gawdawful mop of black hair that
stuck straight up.
Sherry
  #117  
Old January 7th 05, 09:15 PM
Sherry
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If you are completely committed to parenthood, those bad times are just
things that make your bond with your children stronger.


This is absolutely true. The worst of the bad times with our daughter had to do
with separating her from a loser boyfriend at age 16. She didn't speak to us
for a month.
But ten years later, we heard the most five most awesome words a parent can
hear.
"Mom, Dad, you were right."

Sherry
  #118  
Old January 12th 05, 01:13 AM
Monique Y. Mudama
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On 2005-01-07, Sherry penned:

This is absolutely true. The worst of the bad times with our daughter had to
do with separating her from a loser boyfriend at age 16. She didn't speak to
us for a month. But ten years later, we heard the most five most awesome
words a parent can hear. "Mom, Dad, you were right."

This can backfire. My eight year relationship with a loser boyfriend probably
would have been much shorter if my parents hadn't constantly been badgering me
to get rid of him. They meant well, but the more they shared their opinions,
the more I felt myself to be in an "us against the world" situation.

--
monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!*
  #119  
Old January 12th 05, 01:44 AM
badwilson
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"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2005-01-07, Sherry penned:

This is absolutely true. The worst of the bad times with our

daughter had to
do with separating her from a loser boyfriend at age 16. She

didn't speak to
us for a month. But ten years later, we heard the most five most

awesome
words a parent can hear. "Mom, Dad, you were right."

This can backfire. My eight year relationship with a loser

boyfriend probably
would have been much shorter if my parents hadn't constantly been

badgering me
to get rid of him. They meant well, but the more they shared their

opinions,
the more I felt myself to be in an "us against the world" situation.


Exactly! My parents hated my first serious boyfriend. He wasn't bad
but just unmotivated. They thought I was too good for him. Instead
of getting rid of him, I moved in with him. A relationship that would
have normally lasted about 6 months dragged on for 2.5 years because I
had to "show them". I totally admit it was childish, but the way they
went on about him was childish too.
--
Britta
Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's
covered in fur!
Check out pictures of Vino at:
http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album





  #120  
Old January 12th 05, 01:48 AM
Monique Y. Mudama
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On 2005-01-12, badwilson penned:

Exactly! My parents hated my first serious boyfriend. He wasn't bad
but just unmotivated. They thought I was too good for him. Instead
of getting rid of him, I moved in with him. A relationship that would
have normally lasted about 6 months dragged on for 2.5 years because I
had to "show them". I totally admit it was childish, but the way they
went on about him was childish too.


I don't think I intentionally was trying to prove my parents wrong; it's just
that when you love someone, you see an attack on them as an attack on
yourself. I did love this guy, foolish as it was, and no one likes hearing
negative stuff about their loved ones.

--
monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!*
 




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