Mom! [Somewhat OT]

Tanada wrote:

Sherry wrote:

I once pointed out to my half sister that she'd never said anything
complimentary about me. She paused for about a minute or so (felt
like hours) then said "you produce beautiful babies."



Do we have the same sister, by any chance? Mine is the queen of
double-sworded
compliments. Most recent was, "You look great. Did you get a Wonder Bra?"

Sherry


Mine wouldn't have been that nice. This is the woman who had a fit
because I bought Jason's baby clothes at places like goodwill, Kmart,
and Sears. She told me that I was raising him to think he was supposed
to live in poverty for all of his life.

Actually, I'd say you were raising him to think there are
better uses for money than impressing other people with how
much he pays for things!

jmcquown wrote:



Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids these
days is they think they have to have designer this and designer that.
What's wrong with hand-me-downs? I sure had my share; I don't have a sister
but my mom used to be given beautiful dresses from a friend whose daughter
was older than me. Kids outgrow things; you just gonna throw them away?
Waste not, want not.

My mom did, too - unfortunately, the friend's daughter was
in the same class I was (but older - I'd skipped a grade),
so everyone recognized the dresses when I wore them! I
finally managed to make my mom understand the problem, but I
must have suffered in silence for the better part of a year
(seemed more like eternity) before I actually told her WHY I
objected to wearing Lois's clothes.

jmcquown wrote:



Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids these
days is they think they have to have designer this and designer that.
What's wrong with hand-me-downs? I sure had my share; I don't have a sister
but my mom used to be given beautiful dresses from a friend whose daughter
was older than me. Kids outgrow things; you just gonna throw them away?
Waste not, want not.

My mom did, too - unfortunately, the friend's daughter was
in the same class I was (but older - I'd skipped a grade),
so everyone recognized the dresses when I wore them! I
finally managed to make my mom understand the problem, but I
must have suffered in silence for the better part of a year
(seemed more like eternity) before I actually told her WHY I
objected to wearing Lois's clothes.

Bob M wrote:
jmcquown wrote:

Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids
these days is they think they have to have designer this and
designer that. What's wrong with hand-me-downs? I sure had my
share; I don't have a sister but my mom used to be given beautiful
dresses from a friend whose daughter was older than me. Kids
outgrow things; you just gonna throw them away? Waste not, want not.

I currently have two bags full of clothing ready to donate to the
Salvation Army. I may have paid $100 for that old dress, but it
doesn't fit anymore and it's in perfect shape. So someone can buy
it for maybe $10. And maybe they can look good when they go on that
job interview, or simply to a family gathering. Whatever.

There is nothing wrong at all with being frugal and teaching your
children to spend a dime wisely.

Jill

Amen to that!

Bob

When I was a kid, I used to LOVE wearing hand-me-downs - my brother's to be
exact. He was only 2 1/2 years older than me, so it didn't take me long to
grow into his stuff. Once I was able to fit into a pair of his old jeans -
that was it, Mom couldn't get me to wear a dress again after that. Worse
thing is that she would try to girly them up by embrodering flowers on them
or something like that... yech!! LOL

And my sister was 10 years older than me and she had the *COOLEST* clothes,
but it took me *forever* to fit into her stuff, and by then is was no longer
cool. Didn't matter to me though, I'd wear it anyway.... as long as it
wasn't a dress
--?
The ONE and ONLY
lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy
former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)© email me at
nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com
http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep

Bob M wrote:
jmcquown wrote:

Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids
these days is they think they have to have designer this and
designer that. What's wrong with hand-me-downs? I sure had my
share; I don't have a sister but my mom used to be given beautiful
dresses from a friend whose daughter was older than me. Kids
outgrow things; you just gonna throw them away? Waste not, want not.

I currently have two bags full of clothing ready to donate to the
Salvation Army. I may have paid $100 for that old dress, but it
doesn't fit anymore and it's in perfect shape. So someone can buy
it for maybe $10. And maybe they can look good when they go on that
job interview, or simply to a family gathering. Whatever.

There is nothing wrong at all with being frugal and teaching your
children to spend a dime wisely.

Jill

Amen to that!

Bob

When I was a kid, I used to LOVE wearing hand-me-downs - my brother's to be
exact. He was only 2 1/2 years older than me, so it didn't take me long to
grow into his stuff. Once I was able to fit into a pair of his old jeans -
that was it, Mom couldn't get me to wear a dress again after that. Worse
thing is that she would try to girly them up by embrodering flowers on them
or something like that... yech!! LOL

And my sister was 10 years older than me and she had the *COOLEST* clothes,
but it took me *forever* to fit into her stuff, and by then is was no longer
cool. Didn't matter to me though, I'd wear it anyway.... as long as it
wasn't a dress
--?
The ONE and ONLY
lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy
former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)© email me at
nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com
http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep

On Sat, 20 Nov 2004 16:22:03 +0000, CatNipped wrote:

I just posted a rant in answer to Jill's rant about her family and wanted to
add an example. Even after all my avowals, I still try to get my mom's
(never-forthcoming) approval.

So...

Since I got such good feedback from you guys on my "...With Mommy" stories
here I thought I'd print them out and send them to her to read. Her
response was, "To be honest I didn't like them at all. They were too bloody
(how could you allow an animal to bite and scratch you like that?). They
were too disgusting, I gagged when I read about you drinking coffee with cat
boogers in it, and if an animal had gotten anywhere near my food I would
have thrown it and the animal out!"

Sigh, they were just supposed to be funny anecdotes mom!

Now, I have had one of my "Prissy" stories published in a real live book,
"The Cats of Our Lives", edited by Franklin Dohanyos (you can still buy it
on Amazon.com - ISBN 1-55972-487-0), "Prissy Adopts a Duck", page 171.

You would think that, with that affirmation, it wouldn't bother me that my
cat-hating mom didn't like my stories, but it still stings. Right after the
above comments she started telling me about my older brother who had a
write-up in the Parish paper about his award-winning wood carving. Message
received: Nothing you do is any good, everything your brother does is
excellent. The sad part is that I am extremely proud of my talented genius
of a brother, but mom makes it so hard for us to get along!

Sorry, I'll get off my rant now (it seems to be the week for rants!!).

Hugs,

CatNipped



IMHO Mothers like this really do not feel good about themselves--
therefore how could this person they produced be of value?
Give up trying to please mother and please yourself. MLB

On Sat, 20 Nov 2004 16:22:03 +0000, CatNipped wrote:

I just posted a rant in answer to Jill's rant about her family and wanted to
add an example. Even after all my avowals, I still try to get my mom's
(never-forthcoming) approval.

So...

Since I got such good feedback from you guys on my "...With Mommy" stories
here I thought I'd print them out and send them to her to read. Her
response was, "To be honest I didn't like them at all. They were too bloody
(how could you allow an animal to bite and scratch you like that?). They
were too disgusting, I gagged when I read about you drinking coffee with cat
boogers in it, and if an animal had gotten anywhere near my food I would
have thrown it and the animal out!"

Sigh, they were just supposed to be funny anecdotes mom!

Now, I have had one of my "Prissy" stories published in a real live book,
"The Cats of Our Lives", edited by Franklin Dohanyos (you can still buy it
on Amazon.com - ISBN 1-55972-487-0), "Prissy Adopts a Duck", page 171.

You would think that, with that affirmation, it wouldn't bother me that my
cat-hating mom didn't like my stories, but it still stings. Right after the
above comments she started telling me about my older brother who had a
write-up in the Parish paper about his award-winning wood carving. Message
received: Nothing you do is any good, everything your brother does is
excellent. The sad part is that I am extremely proud of my talented genius
of a brother, but mom makes it so hard for us to get along!

Sorry, I'll get off my rant now (it seems to be the week for rants!!).

Hugs,

CatNipped



IMHO Mothers like this really do not feel good about themselves--
therefore how could this person they produced be of value?
Give up trying to please mother and please yourself. MLB

"Cheryl Perkins" wrote in message ...
snip
And we can hurt them so much. That's part of loving someone. It's easy to
dismiss a stranger who says or does something rude or hurtful, and of
course, a lot of strangers don't do that anyway, because they learned as
children that personal comments are not made to acquaintances and
strangers. Well, some people learned that; the ones who comment on others'
weight clearly didn't.

But no one can hurt you more than someone you love, who loves you.
--
Cheryl

My mother once said to me, very thoughtfully, like she was really thinking
about it "Do you think I would have been better if I'd had you adopted?"

Tweed

"Cheryl Perkins" wrote in message ...
snip
And we can hurt them so much. That's part of loving someone. It's easy to
dismiss a stranger who says or does something rude or hurtful, and of
course, a lot of strangers don't do that anyway, because they learned as
children that personal comments are not made to acquaintances and
strangers. Well, some people learned that; the ones who comment on others'
weight clearly didn't.

But no one can hurt you more than someone you love, who loves you.
--
Cheryl

My mother once said to me, very thoughtfully, like she was really thinking
about it "Do you think I would have been better if I'd had you adopted?"

Tweed

Cheryl Perkins wrote:

more than ten years ago, she and my aunt and brother stayed in a hotel
because it was wheelchair accessible. My mother, who is not the one in the
wheelchair, said how terrible it was that she wasn't invited into her own
children's home. I was driving, and said we could go over right away and
she could go in and see my home if that's what she wanted... No, she said,
the cats might attack her. She didn't want to go inside my house.

She was complaining that she wasn't invited into your home, and when you
said, sure, come on over, she said no?? Talk about your mixed messages!

She is somewhat phobic about cats, and also finds them disgusting. That's
just the way she is. She knows I love cats, and will even give me gifts
with a cat theme, and sometimes ask about them. But no way will she go
near one, and I doubt if she'd enjoy reading about them.

Sounds like she's able to recognize that her phobia is *hers* and doesn't
necessarily apply to other people, and she can respect that you love cats.
Some people with phobias don't even realize that it's irrational, and can't
understand why anyone else could tolerate the feared object/activity. But
at least your mom is able to make that distinction, which is good!

Now, if she would only understand that the reason you don't invite her to
your house is because she'll just say no...

Joyce