OT $5.37

$5.37!

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug
into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that
used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I
started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid
with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of
change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior
citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong
with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.
Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I
strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front
of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with
utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to
anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the
ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried
another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view
mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back
seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten
doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.


Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to
finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt
it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and
churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be
found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the
restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black
nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this
point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle,
and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young
lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding
up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my
truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly
apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like
this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I
was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer,
I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I
handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat
in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble
reading.

P.S. Save the earth...... It's the only planet with Cats!!!!!

Matthew wrote:
$5.37!

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug
into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that
used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I
started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid
with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of
change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior
citizen?

If it will make you feel any better, most businesses give senior
discounts to any customer 50 or older (and you are eligible for AARP
membership at age 55).

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message
m...


Matthew wrote:
$5.37!

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug
into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that
used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I
started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid
with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of
change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior
citizen?

If it will make you feel any better, most businesses give senior discounts
to any customer 50 or older (and you are eligible for AARP membership at
age 55).

LOL it was a joke Evelyn ;-)

I am not 50 yet

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

Matthew wrote:

$5.37!

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.

*Taco Bell*?? Matthew, that's stuff's going to kill you!

If it will make you feel any better, most businesses give senior
discounts to any customer 50 or older

Exactly where are all these businesses? I'm 55, which I think of as
a "junior senior", and I've only experienced one senior discount - my
health food store sells dietary supplements (vitamins, etc) at 10%
off to anyone 55 and over. Otherwise, nada. I pay full price at
restaurants, movies, department stores, grocery stores, and so on.

(and you are eligible for AARP membership at age 55).

Actually, I received my first invitation to join AARP literally the day
after I turned 50, and have been getting 3-4 of these a year ever since.
Are you a member, Evelyn? Is it worthwhile? I haven't decided whether or
not to join. Do they really do anything for their members? I'll bet it's
huge now, with all the Boomers.

Joyce

--
If an animal does something, they call it instinct. If we do exactly
the same thing for the same reason, they call it intelligence.
-- Will Cuppy

Matthew wrote:
$5.37!

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug
into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that
used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I
started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid
with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of
change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior
citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong
with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.
Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I
strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front
of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with
utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to
anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the
ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried
another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view
mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back
seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten
doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.


Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to
finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt
it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and
churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be
found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the
restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black
nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this
point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle,
and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young
lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding
up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my
truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly
apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like
this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I
was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer,
I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I
handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat
in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble
reading.

P.S. Save the earth...... It's the only planet with Cats!!!!!



LOL! LOL! What a priceless story -- but where have you been hiding
the wife? MLB

Joyce asked (about AARP):

Is it worthwhile? I haven't decided
whether or not to join. Do they really do
anything for their members?

I have been a member for a long time. I get my Medicare supplement from
them. I also have my credit card through them (Chase) which has no
annual fee, pays rewards and deducts the amount due each month from my
checking account. I don't always agree with their politics but they are
a powerful lobby to protect social security and medicare.


---MIKE---
In the White Mountains of New Hampshire
(44° 15' N - Elevation 1580')

Matthew wrote:
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message
m...

Matthew wrote:
$5.37!

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug
into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that
used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I
started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid
with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of
change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior
citizen?
If it will make you feel any better, most businesses give senior discounts
to any customer 50 or older (and you are eligible for AARP membership at
age 55).

LOL it was a joke Evelyn ;-)

I am not 50 yet


I still have my memory and I remember you saying many times: " I am
too old for this". Yes, many, many times -- and here you are just a
puppy. Best wishes. MLB

wrote in message
...
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

Matthew wrote:

$5.37!

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.

*Taco Bell*?? Matthew, that's stuff's going to kill you!

If it will make you feel any better, most businesses give senior
discounts to any customer 50 or older

Exactly where are all these businesses? I'm 55, which I think of as
a "junior senior", and I've only experienced one senior discount - my
health food store sells dietary supplements (vitamins, etc) at 10%
off to anyone 55 and over. Otherwise, nada. I pay full price at
restaurants, movies, department stores, grocery stores, and so on.

(and you are eligible for AARP membership at age 55).

Actually, I received my first invitation to join AARP literally the day
after I turned 50, and have been getting 3-4 of these a year ever since.
Are you a member, Evelyn? Is it worthwhile? I haven't decided whether or
not to join. Do they really do anything for their members? I'll bet it's
huge now, with all the Boomers.

Joyce

--
If an animal does something, they call it instinct. If we do exactly
the same thing for the same reason, they call it intelligence.
-- Will Cuppy

Seriously! I was wondering *how* he could eat that stuff - people who have
either the lap-band or the gastric bypass surgery need to be on a liquid
diet then transition to a "soft" food diet. *No* surgery will be effective
if you force yourself to eat. especially eating fast foot - your stomach
will stretch to contain all that food.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See our clowder at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

"MLB" wrote in message
...
Matthew wrote:
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message
m...

Matthew wrote:
$5.37!

That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug
into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something
that
used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot,
I
started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid
with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of
change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said
cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior
citizen?
If it will make you feel any better, most businesses give senior
discounts to any customer 50 or older (and you are eligible for AARP
membership at age 55).

LOL it was a joke Evelyn ;-)

I am not 50 yet
I still have my memory and I remember you saying many times: " I am too
old for this". Yes, many, many times -- and here you are just a puppy.
Best wishes. MLB

I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS $&^& LOL ;-)

"CatNipped" wrote
Matthew wrote:

$5.37!
Seriously! I was wondering *how* he could eat that stuff - people who
have either the lap-band or the gastric bypass surgery need to be on a
liquid

He simply cross posted a popular internet joke Lori. Seen it for well over
a year now.