Joys of Business Travel (beverage warning)

"Howard C. Berkowitz" wrote in message
...


The following letters are taken from an actual incident
between a London
hotel and one of it's guests. The Hotel ended up
submitting the letters
to the London Sunday Times!



Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap
in my bathroom
since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove
the six
unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine
chest and another
three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,

S. Berman

snip

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest
soap inventory.
As of today I possess:
- On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4
stacks of 4 and
1
stack of 2.
- On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4
and 1stack of
3.
- On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet,
- 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks
of 4.
- Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4
and 1 stack
of
2.
- In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
- On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet,
slightly used.
- On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks
of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure
the stacks are
neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that
stacks of more
than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my
bedroom window sill
is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future
soap
deliveries.

Potential for a new mathematical puzzle to compete with the
Towers of Hanoi - the Soap Bars of the Savoy....

One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized
Dial which I
am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further
misunderstandings

S. Berman

Hah! Me, I just use the regular bar of soap I bring with me
(the little ones are pure hell to hang on to in the shower),
stow it in the waterproof box in my suitcase bought for that
purpose, and keep all the little bitty soaps, shampoos, etc
provided by the management for inclusion in camping gear,
emergency kits, whatever, where the size helps.

Hospitals are great about this sort of thing - week before
last, I came home with enough itty-bitty toilet articles to
half-fill one of those plastic sacks they send you home
with.
--
Vance P. Frickey
remove "nospam" from listed Email address to send mail

"There is an uncomfortable similarity between Damocles, who
had everything but security, and the West today. The main
difference is that Damocles could see the sword that
threatened him and the thin thread that restrained it, while
today both sword and thread seem unreal to all too many."

Herman Kahn, _On Thermonuclear War_.

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
wrote:
Howard C. Berkowitz wrote:

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of
soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial.
Please
remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf
under the
medicine chest and another three in the shower soap
dish. They are
in my way.
Thank you,

S. Berman

This is such an oldie, it predates the Internet. I
remember it when
it was passed around offices on sheets of paper that were
copies of
copies of copies. Of course, it is still hilarious. I
think that this
guy AND the staff at that hotel all deserve each other!!

Joyce

I remember those days too, and when the typed up copies
would spit out on
fax machines from office to office.

If I were the guy I'd have found another hotel!!

Jill

"living on Rolaids,
battling hotel maids... "
- "Miss You so Badly," Jimmy Buffett

"Fred J. McCall" wrote in message
...
Dee wrote:

:[Another] Dee wrote:
:
: This is a great bit, although it is authored. The "S.
Berman" is Shelley
: Berman, a stand-up comedian from the 1960's. He wrote
this bit and
: included it in his book "A Hotel is a Place...",
published in 1972.
:
: Dee
:
:Note to all:
:
:We now have a second Dee in afh. This may end up
somewhat confusing.
:Perhaps the other Dee is only over in the cats group.
Hi, Dee.
:Welcome. Guess we will have to get people used to
raiding the headers.
:
:--Dee from afh

Two Dees?

Hi Dee. Hi Dee. Ho!

In the words of Theodore Roosevelt: "Dee-lighted!"