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#1
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ping Takayuki
I just finished that Covey 7 Habits book. I think you said you
weren't too impressed by it. Could you explain? I'm in the "now that I've read the book, I need to digest it and evaluate it" stage. I felt there was an over emphasis on religion as a source of everything positive, and he seems to have missed that pleasure doesn't have to be a destructive force, but I also thought there was a lot of solid advice that will help me if I can integrate it into my life. I particularly like the idea of a personal mission statement. A lot of his advice seems to mesh well with other advice I've read or been given by people I respect. -- monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca |
#2
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ping Takayuki
"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote:
I just finished that Covey 7 Habits book. I think you said you weren't too impressed by it. Could you explain? I'm in the "now that I've read the book, I need to digest it and evaluate it" stage. I felt there was an over emphasis on religion as a source of everything positive, and he seems to have missed that pleasure doesn't have to be a destructive force, but I also thought there was a lot of solid advice that will help me if I can integrate it into my life. I particularly like the idea of a personal mission statement. A lot of his advice seems to mesh well with other advice I've read or been given by people I respect. Well, what happened was a friend insisted that I borrow the book on CD, and I just listened to the first one. But I found that I couldn't relate to the author, because we seem to have opposite personalities. Covey's anecdotes were often in the format of, "I said this to [wife|son|subway passenger], and then I realized that I shouldn't have said that..." If it were me, you see, I wouldn't have even spoken up in the first place. So whether accurate or not, the impression I formed of him personally was unfavorable. A person who needed to make up some virtuous habits in order to fix problems of his own making due to his busybody nature. That poor first impression ruined the rest of it, since in order to benefit from a self-help book, you need to trust the author, or at least be able to relate at some level. |
#3
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ping Takayuki
On 2006-07-06, Takayuki penned:
Well, what happened was a friend insisted that I borrow the book on CD, and I just listened to the first one. But I found that I couldn't relate to the author, because we seem to have opposite personalities. Covey's anecdotes were often in the format of, "I said this to [wife|son|subway passenger], and then I realized that I shouldn't have said that..." If it were me, you see, I wouldn't have even spoken up in the first place. You know, I was thinking about how I would love to make DH read the book -- funny because it's actually his book, but he only ever glanced at it. But then I realized that unless he himself was curious about it, trying to insist that he read it could only backfire. Especially as he obviously already had opportunity -- he bought the book based on advice from his manager when he started taking manager type responsibilities. I could definitely relate to the examples he gave. I could imagine saying something, or more likely glaring, at someone letting their kids run all around the subway. Ironically, at least in the edition I read, there's a FAQ in the back, and one is "so and so would really benefit from reading this book! What should I do to make them read it?" The answer is something to the effect of, don't. Become closer to that person, try to open up to them and allow them to open up to you, and maybe they will ask about it themselves. Which makes sense. I want advice on how to live better from people who I admire and whose habits I admire, not necessarily a recommendation from a friend who has read the book but whose life has not apparently changed from it. So whether accurate or not, the impression I formed of him personally was unfavorable. A person who needed to make up some virtuous habits in order to fix problems of his own making due to his busybody nature. Well, that's certainly one way to look at it. Another is that you already have the virtuous habits. Or that you wouldn't say anything, but not necessarily for virtuous reasons. I think in the end, a person embodying Covey's habits (something which he himself admits he can't do consistently) would not even call someone a busybody, but rather accept or try to understand that person more fully. The next step, presumably, is to die and be sainted, or perhaps to ascend to Nirvana *wry grin*. Ultimately the Seven habits seem, to me, to boil down to Kant's "treat people as ends, not means." But with some handy step by step instructions. That poor first impression ruined the rest of it, since in order to benefit from a self-help book, you need to trust the author, or at least be able to relate at some level. Absolutely. And it may very well be that your personal journey won't benefit from that book, whereas your friend found some profound insight for him/herself. Out of curiosity, since the tone of the book grated on you so much, did it affect your view of your friend? -- monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca |
#4
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ping Takayuki
On Wed, 05 Jul 2006 22:41:07 -0400, Takayuki
yodeled: "Monique Y. Mudama" wrote: I just finished that Covey 7 Habits book. I think you said you weren't too impressed by it. Could you explain? I'm in the "now that I've read the book, I need to digest it and evaluate it" stage. I felt there was an over emphasis on religion as a source of everything positive, and he seems to have missed that pleasure doesn't have to be a destructive force, but I also thought there was a lot of solid advice that will help me if I can integrate it into my life. I particularly like the idea of a personal mission statement. A lot of his advice seems to mesh well with other advice I've read or been given by people I respect. Well, what happened was a friend insisted that I borrow the book on CD, and I just listened to the first one. But I found that I couldn't relate to the author, because we seem to have opposite personalities. Covey's anecdotes were often in the format of, "I said this to [wife|son|subway passenger], and then I realized that I shouldn't have said that..." If it were me, you see, I wouldn't have even spoken up in the first place. So whether accurate or not, the impression I formed of him personally was unfavorable. A person who needed to make up some virtuous habits in order to fix problems of his own making due to his busybody nature. That poor first impression ruined the rest of it, since in order to benefit from a self-help book, you need to trust the author, or at least be able to relate at some level. I have a problem across the board with self-help books, because all the authors and all the books are in effect telling you "This is what you should do," and I can't stand anyone telling me that. Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh Make Levees, Not War |
#5
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ping Takayuki
"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote:
On 2006-07-06, Takayuki penned: That poor first impression ruined the rest of it, since in order to benefit from a self-help book, you need to trust the author, or at least be able to relate at some level. Absolutely. And it may very well be that your personal journey won't benefit from that book, whereas your friend found some profound insight for him/herself. Out of curiosity, since the tone of the book grated on you so much, did it affect your view of your friend? No, it didn't affect my views. I just admired that she was working to improve herself in various ways, and I just thought that it wasn't me. Ketchup doesn't taste good on everything. My feelings towards Covey was not grating, precisely, but more like inadvertent humor. To me, the experiences he related were tragicomic, and it made me think of him as a Gilligan or Jack Tripper instead of someone who was trying to advise me, which was probably not the effect he was after. |
#6
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ping Takayuki
On 2006-07-07, Takayuki penned:
"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote: Out of curiosity, since the tone of the book grated on you so much, did it affect your view of your friend? No, it didn't affect my views. I just admired that she was working to improve herself in various ways, and I just thought that it wasn't me. Ketchup doesn't taste good on everything. So true. My feelings towards Covey was not grating, precisely, but more like inadvertent humor. To me, the experiences he related were tragicomic, and it made me think of him as a Gilligan or Jack Tripper instead of someone who was trying to advise me, which was probably not the effect he was after. Hehe. Yeah, probably not, although ... I think most of human experience is tragicomic. -- monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca |
#7
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ping Takayuki
On Thu, 06 Jul 2006 14:12:27 -0400 Kreisleriana wrote:
[... self-help books issue ...] I have a problem across the board with self-help books, because all the authors and all the books are in effect telling you "This is what you should do," and I can't stand anyone telling me that. Well, most of those books *really* tell "I have done it that way and it had worked out for me". If you read several of them concerning the same topic, you may find at least as many opinions as authors and some opinions may be totally adversatively. So you usually cannot transfer them 1:1 to your own situation. You may read several, get the main ideas behind the resolution described and use those ideas as steppingstones for your own personal solution. Squarely Yours Michael -- Square Dance is friendship put to music Andrea and Michael with tomcat strategists Blacky and Merlin More detailed info: http://www.curschmann-sachsen.de |
#8
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ping Takayuki
On 2006-07-07, Micha penned:
On Thu, 06 Jul 2006 14:12:27 -0400 Kreisleriana wrote: [... self-help books issue ...] I have a problem across the board with self-help books, because all the authors and all the books are in effect telling you "This is what you should do," and I can't stand anyone telling me that. Well, most of those books *really* tell "I have done it that way and it had worked out for me". If you read several of them concerning the same topic, you may find at least as many opinions as authors and some opinions may be totally adversatively. So you usually cannot transfer them 1:1 to your own situation. You may read several, get the main ideas behind the resolution described and use those ideas as steppingstones for your own personal solution. I agree with the last part. I couldn't read a book and say, "Yes, I am going to do exactly what s/he describes to the Nth degree and be happy." But I do get a couple of good ideas. I figure any book that gives me even one new and useful idea has been helpful. -- monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca |
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