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BW Ladies here is how to make a point



 
 
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  #1  
Old July 16th 09, 11:00 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Granby
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 10,742
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point

If your husband nags you about the extras you do, let him read this.


A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked her for
a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I
give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of
dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman
asked.

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to
spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman
asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair
done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead,
I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself
tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with
you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a
woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments
and wine."


  #2  
Old July 16th 09, 11:30 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Stormmee
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12,281
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point

good one, Lee
"Granby" wrote in message
...
If your husband nags you about the extras you do, let him read this.


A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby looking homeless woman who asked her for
a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I
give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of
dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman
asked.

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to
spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman
asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair
done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead,
I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and myself
tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with
you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a
woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments
and wine."



  #3  
Old July 17th 09, 11:22 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
LadyJane
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 61
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point


That reminded me of this one. Same idea.

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in
his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas,
playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all
around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp
had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room, the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and
the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In
the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the
counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under
the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He ran up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of
clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or
that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the
bedroom, still curled up in the bed, still in her pajamas, reading a
novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come
home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply, half shouting.

The smile remained, "Well, today I didn't do it."
  #4  
Old July 17th 09, 12:11 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Stormmee
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12,281
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point

excellent, Lee
"LadyJane" wrote in message
...

That reminded me of this one. Same idea.

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in
his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas,
playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all
around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp
had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room, the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and
the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In
the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the
counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under
the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He ran up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of
clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or
that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the
bedroom, still curled up in the bed, still in her pajamas, reading a
novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come
home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply, half shouting.

The smile remained, "Well, today I didn't do it."



  #5  
Old July 17th 09, 01:44 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Granby
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 10,742
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point

When my kids were small, I always wished I had the nerve to NOT do something
for a couple of days just to show my husband. Never did though, he could
yell louder than I wanted to listen.
"Stormmee" wrote in message
...
excellent, Lee
"LadyJane" wrote in message
...

That reminded me of this one. Same idea.

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in
his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas,
playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all
around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp
had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room, the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and
the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In
the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the
counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under
the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He ran up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of
clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or
that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the
bedroom, still curled up in the bed, still in her pajamas, reading a
novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come
home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply, half shouting.

The smile remained, "Well, today I didn't do it."





  #6  
Old July 17th 09, 02:11 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Stormmee
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12,281
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point

first i sent this to my mom, she said it actually worked for her...

My dad rarely yelled...

and another reason to not have kids... just cats,

Lee
"Granby" wrote in message
...
When my kids were small, I always wished I had the nerve to NOT do
something for a couple of days just to show my husband. Never did though,
he could yell louder than I wanted to listen.
"Stormmee" wrote in message
...
excellent, Lee
"LadyJane" wrote in message
...

That reminded me of this one. Same idea.

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in
his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas,
playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all
around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp
had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room, the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and
the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In
the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the
counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under
the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He ran up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of
clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or
that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the
bedroom, still curled up in the bed, still in her pajamas, reading a
novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come
home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply, half shouting.

The smile remained, "Well, today I didn't do it."







  #7  
Old July 17th 09, 11:55 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Stormmee
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12,281
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point

i agree with all of that except the complaints about the food on offer,
sometimes Trudi jumps up to look in the bowl and positively growls at it...
Chester meanwhile always looks in the bucket while i am getting out the food
because he just knows one of these days it will be a different flavor...
"hopitus" wrote in message
...
On Jul 17, 7:11 am, "Stormmee" wrote:

and another reason to not have kids... just cats,


Cats do not
say, "we had that last night for dinner".
leave whiskers in the bathroom sink.
flip beer bottle caps all over the kitchen.
change your selected fave songs on the pushbutton thingy on the dash
of *your* car.
ride motorcycles sans helmet.
ride motorcycles, period.

That's about enough. For now.


  #8  
Old July 18th 09, 05:13 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 9,349
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point

hopitus wrote:

On Jul 17, 7:11?am, "Stormmee" wrote:


and another reason to not have kids... just cats,


Cats do not say, "we had that last night for dinner".


Oh, yes they do!! Quite pointedly, too.

leave whiskers in the bathroom sink.


Actually... sometimes they do. And also on the floor, the couch, etc.
Granted, I usually enjoy finding a kitty whisker in a random place,
and I usually save them. Because, you know, someday I'm going to "make
something" with them.

flip beer bottle caps all over the kitchen.


Well, I don't drink much, so not many beer bottle caps in my kitchen.
If there was one, though, you can bet they would be batting it all
over the place!

change your selected fave songs on the pushbutton thingy on the dash
of *your* car.


OK, you got me on that one. However, they have managed to reset my
bedside clock on a number of occasions.

ride motorcycles sans helmet.


Sometimes I feel like *I* need a helmet around these guys.

ride motorcycles, period.


They don't need motorcycles - they have The Zoomies!

Who needs kids? I have cats!

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.
  #9  
Old July 18th 09, 05:19 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 9,349
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point

LadyJane wrote:

That reminded me of this one. Same idea.


One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in
his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas,
playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all
around the front yard.


[snip great prank story]


Fabulous! Cleaning is one of those chores that is never noticed unless
it's *not* done.

(I was saying the same thing to the IT guy at my job the other day,
because I believe it's also true for them. Nobody notices the network
or the people who maintain it, until it stops working. I'm sure
Cheryl (jlhshadow) will agree. )

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.
  #10  
Old July 18th 09, 08:13 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Stormmee
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12,281
Default BW Ladies here is how to make a point

oh please don't help them, Lee
"hopitus" wrote in message
...
On Jul 17, 4:55 pm, "Stormmee" wrote:
i agree with all of that except the complaints about the food on offer,
sometimes Trudi jumps up to look in the bowl and positively growls at
it...
Chester meanwhile always looks in the bucket while i am getting out the
food
because he just knows one of these days it will be a different
flavor..."hopitus" wrote in message

...
On Jul 17, 7:11 am, "Stormmee" wrote:

and another reason to not have kids... just cats,


Cats do not
say, "we had that last night for dinner".
leave whiskers in the bathroom sink.
flip beer bottle caps all over the kitchen.
change your selected fave songs on the pushbutton thingy on the dash
of *your* car.
ride motorcycles sans helmet.
ride motorcycles, period.

That's about enough. For now.


ROFL. My cats peer into the bucket too. No doubt hoping for a whole
turkey
in there.....or maybe cheese. They love cheese, prefer imported. All
the better
if I'm eating it.


 




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