Husband's cat hates me - follow up

Greetings:

Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to
heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me
whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a
threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on
the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a
lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us
on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate
me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and
treat-giver.

Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred
and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had
finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and
lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become
even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this
week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my
cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom.
He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look
on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on
face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I
love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which
my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross
the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the
problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become
almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll
do to me next!

We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested
squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by
this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already,
that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the
room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and
giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's
eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I
have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested
Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you,
did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was
very glad to hear.

Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is
trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought
heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is
the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would
say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so
horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't
want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we
can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?

Thanks -
Amy

"MaryLyon" wrote in message
oups.com...
Greetings:

Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to
heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me
whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a
threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on
the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a
lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us
on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate
me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and
treat-giver.

Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred
and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had
finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and
lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become
even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this
week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my
cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom.
He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look
on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on
face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I
love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which
my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross
the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the
problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become
almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll
do to me next!

We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested
squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by
this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already,
that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the
room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and
giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's
eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I
have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested
Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you,
did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was
very glad to hear.

Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is
trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought
heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is
the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would
say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so
horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't
want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we
can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?

Thanks -
Amy

I think he has already crossed the line. As much as I love cats, and have
put up with my "Bitch Cat From Hell" biting and scratching me, I still
wouldn't risk losing my eye or other serious injury. Not that I would give
the cat away, but you definitely need to keep him away from you until you
are sure he won't injure you again. I would seriously consider, at least
temporarily, medicating the cat. Vets now-a-days are a lot more
knowledgeable about this and yours should be able to safely prescribe
something that will keep your cat from attacking you.

Hugs,

CatNipped

Cat's getting what he wants, more attention... and scaring you away when he
wants to.. why should he stop?

Gaya learned the hard way not to jump my face.. once and for all... now
she's cuddly, purring and totally loving but when she gets aggressive, one
look from me sends her looking for another victim.. generally the dog..

There's a world between beating up animals and teaching your cat that
cutting open your face is not going to go.
--
Will~

"... so that's how liberty ends, in a round of applause."

Queen Amidala, The revenge of the Syth.


"MaryLyon" wrote in message
oups.com...
Greetings:

Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to
heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me
whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a
threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on
the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a
lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us
on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate
me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and
treat-giver.

Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred
and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had
finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and
lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become
even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this
week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my
cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom.
He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look
on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on
face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I
love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which
my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross
the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the
problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become
almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll
do to me next!

We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested
squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by
this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already,
that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the
room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and
giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's
eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I
have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested
Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you,
did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was
very glad to hear.

Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is
trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought
heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is
the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would
say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so
horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't
want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we
can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?

Thanks -
Amy

"Willow" wrote in message
. net...
Cat's getting what he wants, more attention... and scaring you away when
he
wants to.. why should he stop?

Gaya learned the hard way not to jump my face.. once and for all... now
she's cuddly, purring and totally loving but when she gets aggressive, one
look from me sends her looking for another victim.. generally the dog..

There's a world between beating up animals and teaching your cat that
cutting open your face is not going to go.
--

I have to agree. I would have slapped this cat by now. Yes, I mean a tap
more
than anything with power behind it. But I sure would have. Beast to beast,
since
this is all she seems to understand.

MaryLyon wrote:

Thanks -
Amy

Yeah, get DH to handle this, not you.

He should defend you from her, by whatever means is appropriate.

On Fri, 09 Dec 2005 12:42:12 -0800, MaryLyon wrote:

Greetings:

Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my
husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to heart
and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me whenever I was
around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a threat. We began letting
the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on the bed all day and sleep
with us at night. In addition, we spent a lot of time with my husband
petting him with me around (all three of us on the bed), with me petting
and cooing, too, so kitty would associate me with good feelings. I also
became the exclusive feeder and treat-giver.

Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred and
made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had finally
solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and lots more
positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become even more
brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this week, slicing
my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my cheek. He
regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom. He will
stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look on his
face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on face and
arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become
increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I love
all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which my
husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime
commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross the
line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the problems
I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become almost too scared
to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll do to me next!

We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested
squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by
this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already, that
every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the room, he
feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and giving him
treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's eyes. The vet
suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I have to assert
my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested Feliway might
help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you, did not want to try
medication except as a last resort, which I was very glad to hear.

Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is trying
to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought heirarchy issues
were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is the line for
completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would say scratching
me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so horrified when I
emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't want to give up on
this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we can have a nice
relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?

Thanks -
Amy


IMHO Looking at the situation logically, I would give up on the cat
before giving up an eye. And again, logically, who could you give this
cat to without the possibility of it attacking another person, perhaps a
child.? Perhaps a no-kill shelter would be the answer. MLB

MaryLyon wrote:
I know many people would
say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so
horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't
want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we
can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself?

Hi Amy,
Have you considered consulting with a professional cat behaviorist?
That's what I would recommend in your situation. Your vet should be
able to recommend someone in your area. Also, I would not let the cat
in the bedroom when you are sleeping, at least for now. It sounds much
too dangerous at this point.

Good luck. I really hope you can work this out.

Lauren

MaryLyon wrote:

Thanks -
Amy

don't be a target, she's making sport of you.

ooo! i'd suprise her good, with say..a water ballon...(condoms work
too)
pop it up next to her...on the ground

"whitershadeofpale" wrote:


MaryLyon wrote:

Thanks -
Amy

don't be a target, she's making sport of you.

ooo! i'd suprise her good, with say..a water ballon...(condoms work
too)

Especially since you don't have anything better to do with them.

John Doe wrote:

Especially since you don't have anything better to do with them.

you're the one who don't like pussy too much

why I've never heard of such!