Advice needed

in article , H.
Barker at wrote on 6/7/04 9:06AM:


Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She is, we think, about 2-3 years old. She turned up as a stray, eating
the hedgehogs food, last summer. We shooed her off for a bit, but
eventually caved - she was painfully thin. A couple of weeks passed, and
we saw her feeding four kittens. To cut a very long story short, with the
help of a superb local rescue home, Newmarket Cats, we captured mum and
kittens and they took them on board to feed them up and rehome the babies.
Eventually, we took mum back and have had her since about September.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear here and now: we don't consider
ourselves barbarians or cruel people, but we originally had ideas of
maybe, just maybe, keeping her as an indoor only cat. We're on a major
road, we're bird lovers, and to top it all, we have no real facilities to
letting her in at night - we'd have to wait for her to turn up, etc. We
also know you're supposed to keep a cat indoors for a while when you first
get them so they get used to the area, right? Our intention was not to be
cruel, but to be kind. Besides, she wasn't actively seeking to get out...
She wasn't pacing by the door, she wouldn't paw or claw the door or
windows. She seemed quite content, really. [I know there are mixed
opinions about indoor cats, and I know it provokes strong emotions, so I
want to avoid a flame war here and now.]

Just recently we decided that she ought to be going outside a bit, I guess
it was because if she bolted as a door was opened, we wanted her to trust
us enough to come back and not think of it as a desparate bid for freedom.
Anyway, we got a cat flap fitted, which we haven't really prepared for her
use yet. This was a couple of weeks back.

Since then we've been letting her out into our back garden. The back
garden isn't huge, but it's okay. There's a six foot wall at the back all
along it. Down the sides are similar walls and hedges. We can *sort of*
blockade the sides of the house to prevent her from going out down the
sides and by the road, but naturally, being a cat, she'll find a way
eventually Beyond the wall at the back is a football club car park, the
club slightly beyond that. At night a bunch of muppets tear up and down in
their cars, so naturally I'd really rather avoid her getting over the
wall.

She's already been over the wall once. I'm getting slightly ahead of
myself here. The other day she managed to climb up onto the back wall and
walked along it, but she got really scared, you could just tell. She was
miaowing and looking really terrified, pacing up and down. I went around
the back via the club car park and she almost leapt into my arms. She
struggled on the way home, but she was okay after a while. Then on the
weekend she got onto the wall and jumped down into the car park. She
disappeared for ages, the first time she'd been out of the house AND out
of sight since we had her, pretty much.

We let her be for about 15 minutes, just to see what she did. In the end
my wife went around and she was cowering at the base of the wall miaowing.
My wife picked her up and passed her over the wall to me. The rest of that
evening she was very affectionate, so we reckon she scared herself a bit.

So we're naturally not the greatest "parents" in the world, and there's
probably a load of things we're doing wrong. We're trying, but it's very
hard. It's amazing how much stress and tension it puts you under. Since
she started going out she's been a different cat; it might only be half an
hour a night, near enough, but she wants to go out and when she's in she
seems distracted. She wasn't like that before. The problem is that when
she's out there, the whole time she's either looking for a way out or she
seems to not know what to do or where to go. Sometimes she just wanders up
and down sniffing everything, which is fine, and sometimes she just lays
under a bush.

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H



I know you are in the UK, but maybe you could rig up something like this on
your wall. She can have a safe place and you won't have to worry so much:

http://www.catfencein.com/

Karen

"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.
....

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H
Our cats are mostly indoors. We let them outside into the fenced back yard
when we are home. We don't have a pet door because we want control of when
they are in and out. They only are allowed to go out one door, and they know
to stay when we open the door until we tell them it is O.K. We keep a pretty
good eye on them, but sometimes they go over the six-foot fence.
Fortunately, we have understanding neighbors.
Cinder will come back when we call her. She is the one who goes outside most
often.
Rosie is a former feral and had no interest in going out until recently.
The problem we have is that she and Cinder still don't trust each other and
Cinder will chase Rosie back inside if she comes out when Cinder is there.
So, Rosie doesn't get as much of an opportunity to get out.
I think you are trying to do what you think is best for your cat. You are
learning as you go. That is how we all figure it out. You don't need to be
so hard on yourself.
Because you recognize that there is a dangerous situation on the other side
of your fence, and Mina is jumping over, it probably would be a good idea to
stay with her when she is outside. Maybe she would be O.K. with a harness
and leash. I don't think that shutting her outside is a good idea.
Maybe you could install some kind of motion alarm or sprinkler that would go
off when she gets near the fence. After some training time, she might just
stay in the yard.
Or maybe you could just keep her inside, since she doesn't seem to mind and
she is more affectionate when she is an indoors cat.
Good luck with your efforts. You did a great thing by rescuing Mina and her
kittens and then giving her a loving home. I think Mina is lucky to be in
your care.
Annie

"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.
....

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words, please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H
Our cats are mostly indoors. We let them outside into the fenced back yard
when we are home. We don't have a pet door because we want control of when
they are in and out. They only are allowed to go out one door, and they know
to stay when we open the door until we tell them it is O.K. We keep a pretty
good eye on them, but sometimes they go over the six-foot fence.
Fortunately, we have understanding neighbors.
Cinder will come back when we call her. She is the one who goes outside most
often.
Rosie is a former feral and had no interest in going out until recently.
The problem we have is that she and Cinder still don't trust each other and
Cinder will chase Rosie back inside if she comes out when Cinder is there.
So, Rosie doesn't get as much of an opportunity to get out.
I think you are trying to do what you think is best for your cat. You are
learning as you go. That is how we all figure it out. You don't need to be
so hard on yourself.
Because you recognize that there is a dangerous situation on the other side
of your fence, and Mina is jumping over, it probably would be a good idea to
stay with her when she is outside. Maybe she would be O.K. with a harness
and leash. I don't think that shutting her outside is a good idea.
Maybe you could install some kind of motion alarm or sprinkler that would go
off when she gets near the fence. After some training time, she might just
stay in the yard.
Or maybe you could just keep her inside, since she doesn't seem to mind and
she is more affectionate when she is an indoors cat.
Good luck with your efforts. You did a great thing by rescuing Mina and her
kittens and then giving her a loving home. I think Mina is lucky to be in
your care.
Annie

My advice is to keep her inside at all times. It's not cruel,
it's the best thing for her. -- M9


"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She is, we think, about 2-3 years old. She turned up as a
stray, eating
the hedgehogs food, last summer. We shooed her off for a bit,
but
eventually caved - she was painfully thin. A couple of weeks
passed, and
we saw her feeding four kittens. To cut a very long story
short, with the
help of a superb local rescue home, Newmarket Cats, we
captured mum and
kittens and they took them on board to feed them up and rehome
the babies.
Eventually, we took mum back and have had her since about
September.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear here and now: we
don't consider
ourselves barbarians or cruel people, but we originally had
ideas of
maybe, just maybe, keeping her as an indoor only cat. We're on
a major
road, we're bird lovers, and to top it all, we have no real
facilities to
letting her in at night - we'd have to wait for her to turn
up, etc. We
also know you're supposed to keep a cat indoors for a while
when you first
get them so they get used to the area, right? Our intention
was not to be
cruel, but to be kind. Besides, she wasn't actively seeking to
get out...
She wasn't pacing by the door, she wouldn't paw or claw the
door or
windows. She seemed quite content, really. [I know there are
mixed
opinions about indoor cats, and I know it provokes strong
emotions, so I
want to avoid a flame war here and now.]

Just recently we decided that she ought to be going outside a
bit, I guess
it was because if she bolted as a door was opened, we wanted
her to trust
us enough to come back and not think of it as a desparate bid
for freedom.
Anyway, we got a cat flap fitted, which we haven't really
prepared for her
use yet. This was a couple of weeks back.

Since then we've been letting her out into our back garden.
The back
garden isn't huge, but it's okay. There's a six foot wall at
the back all
along it. Down the sides are similar walls and hedges. We can
*sort of*
blockade the sides of the house to prevent her from going out
down the
sides and by the road, but naturally, being a cat, she'll find
a way
eventually Beyond the wall at the back is a football club
car park, the
club slightly beyond that. At night a bunch of muppets tear up
and down in
their cars, so naturally I'd really rather avoid her getting
over the
wall.

She's already been over the wall once. I'm getting slightly
ahead of
myself here. The other day she managed to climb up onto the
back wall and
walked along it, but she got really scared, you could just
tell. She was
miaowing and looking really terrified, pacing up and down. I
went around
the back via the club car park and she almost leapt into my
arms. She
struggled on the way home, but she was okay after a while.
Then on the
weekend she got onto the wall and jumped down into the car
park. She
disappeared for ages, the first time she'd been out of the
house AND out
of sight since we had her, pretty much.

We let her be for about 15 minutes, just to see what she did.
In the end
my wife went around and she was cowering at the base of the
wall miaowing.
My wife picked her up and passed her over the wall to me. The
rest of that
evening she was very affectionate, so we reckon she scared
herself a bit.

So we're naturally not the greatest "parents" in the world,
and there's
probably a load of things we're doing wrong. We're trying, but
it's very
hard. It's amazing how much stress and tension it puts you
under. Since
she started going out she's been a different cat; it might
only be half an
hour a night, near enough, but she wants to go out and when
she's in she
seems distracted. She wasn't like that before. The problem is
that when
she's out there, the whole time she's either looking for a way
out or she
seems to not know what to do or where to go. Sometimes she
just wanders up
and down sniffing everything, which is fine, and sometimes she
just lays
under a bush.

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove
her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with
her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a
million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the
best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the
road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to
be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her
temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern
simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us
both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words,
please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H

My advice is to keep her inside at all times. It's not cruel,
it's the best thing for her. -- M9


"H. Barker" wrote in message
...

Hi all,

Okay, let me start by introducing our cat, Mina.

She is, we think, about 2-3 years old. She turned up as a
stray, eating
the hedgehogs food, last summer. We shooed her off for a bit,
but
eventually caved - she was painfully thin. A couple of weeks
passed, and
we saw her feeding four kittens. To cut a very long story
short, with the
help of a superb local rescue home, Newmarket Cats, we
captured mum and
kittens and they took them on board to feed them up and rehome
the babies.
Eventually, we took mum back and have had her since about
September.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear here and now: we
don't consider
ourselves barbarians or cruel people, but we originally had
ideas of
maybe, just maybe, keeping her as an indoor only cat. We're on
a major
road, we're bird lovers, and to top it all, we have no real
facilities to
letting her in at night - we'd have to wait for her to turn
up, etc. We
also know you're supposed to keep a cat indoors for a while
when you first
get them so they get used to the area, right? Our intention
was not to be
cruel, but to be kind. Besides, she wasn't actively seeking to
get out...
She wasn't pacing by the door, she wouldn't paw or claw the
door or
windows. She seemed quite content, really. [I know there are
mixed
opinions about indoor cats, and I know it provokes strong
emotions, so I
want to avoid a flame war here and now.]

Just recently we decided that she ought to be going outside a
bit, I guess
it was because if she bolted as a door was opened, we wanted
her to trust
us enough to come back and not think of it as a desparate bid
for freedom.
Anyway, we got a cat flap fitted, which we haven't really
prepared for her
use yet. This was a couple of weeks back.

Since then we've been letting her out into our back garden.
The back
garden isn't huge, but it's okay. There's a six foot wall at
the back all
along it. Down the sides are similar walls and hedges. We can
*sort of*
blockade the sides of the house to prevent her from going out
down the
sides and by the road, but naturally, being a cat, she'll find
a way
eventually Beyond the wall at the back is a football club
car park, the
club slightly beyond that. At night a bunch of muppets tear up
and down in
their cars, so naturally I'd really rather avoid her getting
over the
wall.

She's already been over the wall once. I'm getting slightly
ahead of
myself here. The other day she managed to climb up onto the
back wall and
walked along it, but she got really scared, you could just
tell. She was
miaowing and looking really terrified, pacing up and down. I
went around
the back via the club car park and she almost leapt into my
arms. She
struggled on the way home, but she was okay after a while.
Then on the
weekend she got onto the wall and jumped down into the car
park. She
disappeared for ages, the first time she'd been out of the
house AND out
of sight since we had her, pretty much.

We let her be for about 15 minutes, just to see what she did.
In the end
my wife went around and she was cowering at the base of the
wall miaowing.
My wife picked her up and passed her over the wall to me. The
rest of that
evening she was very affectionate, so we reckon she scared
herself a bit.

So we're naturally not the greatest "parents" in the world,
and there's
probably a load of things we're doing wrong. We're trying, but
it's very
hard. It's amazing how much stress and tension it puts you
under. Since
she started going out she's been a different cat; it might
only be half an
hour a night, near enough, but she wants to go out and when
she's in she
seems distracted. She wasn't like that before. The problem is
that when
she's out there, the whole time she's either looking for a way
out or she
seems to not know what to do or where to go. Sometimes she
just wanders up
and down sniffing everything, which is fine, and sometimes she
just lays
under a bush.

I'm really not sure what's for the best. Should we just shove
her out,
lock the door and let her do her own thing? Should we sit with
her outside
and still prevent her from "escaping"? I mean, there's a
million things we
could be doing, but I'm damned if I know what to do for the
best. It's a
nightmare, it really is. I'm terrified of her going out on the
road. And I
don't want to keep her in all the time if she doesn't want to
be in, but
generally she seems fine about being in. The fact that her
temperament has
changed since she started going out is a cause for concern
simply because
she hasn't been, in my opinion, as affectionate and avoids us
both more
than she used to.

So if anyone has any advice, suggestions or helpful words,
please, feel
free to send them my way.

Thanks,

H

Hi guys,

Thanks EVERSO much for all your replies - you've all been very supportive
and most helpful.

However, as my incredibly doubting wife pointed out, the replies have all
been kinda one sided, and all, apparently, from the other side of the
pond. Not that I am saying they aren't valid. Believe me, I think you're
all spot on.

If anyone else has any thoughts, please shout.

She went out again last night for about 45 mins, and since then, again,
she's been kinda anti-me. It's weird, it feels almost like she's going off
me, which is odd. I suppose you are all right, that it's just that she can
sense my unease. At least, I hope that's what it is

Thanks all,

H

Hi guys,

Thanks EVERSO much for all your replies - you've all been very supportive
and most helpful.

However, as my incredibly doubting wife pointed out, the replies have all
been kinda one sided, and all, apparently, from the other side of the
pond. Not that I am saying they aren't valid. Believe me, I think you're
all spot on.

If anyone else has any thoughts, please shout.

She went out again last night for about 45 mins, and since then, again,
she's been kinda anti-me. It's weird, it feels almost like she's going off
me, which is odd. I suppose you are all right, that it's just that she can
sense my unease. At least, I hope that's what it is

Thanks all,

H

Hi guys,

Thanks EVERSO much for all your replies - you've all been very supportive
and most helpful.

However, as my incredibly doubting wife pointed out, the replies have all
been kinda one sided, and all, apparently, from the other side of the
pond. Not that I am saying they aren't valid. Believe me, I think you're
all spot on.

If anyone else has any thoughts, please shout.

She went out again last night for about 45 mins, and since then, again,
she's been kinda anti-me. It's weird, it feels almost like she's going off
me, which is odd. I suppose you are all right, that it's just that she can
sense my unease. At least, I hope that's what it is

Thanks all,

H

I'm still on the other side of the pond, but I've had both strictly indoor, and
now indoor-outdoor cats. We used to live in the city, and the cats stayed
indoors. Honestly, cats just adapt. They're happy indoors. There's nothing
wrong with keeping them in, they certainly don't suffer. Open windows,
sunshine, and cat trees/toys are a must, IMO, though.
We since moved, and they can go out at will now. They do, when the weather's
nice, but still spend much more time inside.
What's really interesting is, we took in a starving stray a few months ago. She
won't even stick her nose outside. She knows the outside life isn't what it's
cracked up to be and wants no part of it.

Sherry

Hi guys,

Thanks EVERSO much for all your replies - you've all been very supportive
and most helpful.

However, as my incredibly doubting wife pointed out, the replies have all
been kinda one sided, and all, apparently, from the other side of the
pond. Not that I am saying they aren't valid. Believe me, I think you're
all spot on.

If anyone else has any thoughts, please shout.

She went out again last night for about 45 mins, and since then, again,
she's been kinda anti-me. It's weird, it feels almost like she's going off
me, which is odd. I suppose you are all right, that it's just that she can
sense my unease. At least, I hope that's what it is

Thanks all,

H

I'm still on the other side of the pond, but I've had both strictly indoor, and
now indoor-outdoor cats. We used to live in the city, and the cats stayed
indoors. Honestly, cats just adapt. They're happy indoors. There's nothing
wrong with keeping them in, they certainly don't suffer. Open windows,
sunshine, and cat trees/toys are a must, IMO, though.
We since moved, and they can go out at will now. They do, when the weather's
nice, but still spend much more time inside.
What's really interesting is, we took in a starving stray a few months ago. She
won't even stick her nose outside. She knows the outside life isn't what it's
cracked up to be and wants no part of it.

Sherry

"H. Barker" wrote
She went out again last night for about 45 mins, and since then, again,
she's been kinda anti-me. It's weird, it feels almost like she's going off
me, which is odd.

*Sigh*