Ping Phil - Anyone, HELP HELP HELP

Tayla is the most affectionate cat I've ever had... she throws herself all
over you and rubs her little face all over yours, giving nose kisses and
purring. But...

I just don't know if we'll be able to keep her. The yowling and chasing and
posturing with Demi, Jessie and Sammy are expected and that's not what I'm
worried about. It's her behavior with the kittens. Ben told me she was
"rough" with the kittens, but I hadn't seen what he was talking about until
today - I just thought she was holding them down to lick them. Ozzy was
laying on the back of my couch and Tayla jumped up next to him and started
licking him. Then, out of the blue, she started growling, hissing, biting
and scratching him. He went totally limp, so there wasn't any physical
damage - I squirted the heck out of Tayla until she jumped down. Then about
half an hour later Ozzy and Archer were laying in the same spot and Tayla
did the same thing, savagely (to me) attacking them for no reason.

Granted there wasn't any blood that I could see, but were I a kitten this
would have been *REALLY* traumatic for me to go through. Does anyone know
what might be causing this? Could it be that she just had her own kittens
taken away from her that eliciting this kind of behavior? Since there's no
blood should I not worry about this or is this something I need to really
worry about (as if I ever needed an excuse to worry)?! She has never been
alone and unsupervised with any other cat, and at this point I don't know if
I could go to work with her loose in the house with everybody else!

I do have the option of returning her to the no-kill rescue that we adopted
her from (in fact I had to sign a contract saying that if I ever wanted to
part with her we *HAD* to bring her back there). But man, I would really,
really hate doing this. On the other hand, I have Jessie traumatized, Sammy
fighting with Jessie, and the possibility of Tayla doing some real damage to
the kittens. There was a notation on her adoption papers that she went
ballistic around dogs - there was nothing at all about her behavior around
other cats.

As sweet as she is to humans, I think she would make a perfect "only cat",
but I just don't know if she'll ever be safe around other cats. On the
other hand, being an adult cat during kitten season I have a feeling she
would not be adopted for a long, long time.

Please, can anybody help me with this?

--

Hugs,

CatNipped

See all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/

"CatNipped" wrote

There was a notation on her adoption papers that she went ballistic around
dogs - there was nothing at all about her behavior around other cats.

As sweet as she is to humans, I think she would make a perfect "only cat",
but I just don't know if she'll ever be safe around other cats. On the
other hand, being an adult cat during kitten season I have a feeling she
would not be adopted for a long, long time.

Please, can anybody help me with this?


Catnipped, you're smart, if it looks like real aggression towards the
kittens, that together with the way she is with the adults, and the way
she is with humans suggests she might be happier as an only cat.

You have so many kitties now, you know how I feel about returning
cats, but you have to think of everyone else in the house. I know it
would be heartbreaking to let her go, but it would be heartbreaking
to have her hurt or make miserable all the other cats, too.




--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

"cybercat" wrote in message
.. .

"CatNipped" wrote

There was a notation on her adoption papers that she went ballistic around
dogs - there was nothing at all about her behavior around other cats.

As sweet as she is to humans, I think she would make a perfect "only
cat", but I just don't know if she'll ever be safe around other cats. On
the other hand, being an adult cat during kitten season I have a feeling
she would not be adopted for a long, long time.

Please, can anybody help me with this?


Catnipped, you're smart, if it looks like real aggression towards the
kittens, that together with the way she is with the adults, and the way
she is with humans suggests she might be happier as an only cat.

You have so many kitties now, you know how I feel about returning
cats, but you have to think of everyone else in the house. I know it
would be heartbreaking to let her go, but it would be heartbreaking
to have her hurt or make miserable all the other cats, too.

I know, but ****** I hate to have to make that kind of decision! She is
*SO* sweet otherwise. At least, thank gawd, we adopted her from the no-kill
rescue, SunMart, that operates out of PetsMart, so at the very least I know
she won't be euthanized. Also, they don't have a shelter and board their
charges with fosterers, so she won't be confined to a cage either (although
with her aggressiveness she may be confined to one room unless they can find
a fosterer with no other animals - there are some that will only take one at
a time (and if that's the case I think she could make a good argument for
herself to be adopted as an only cat))! ^&%*&()*&*(& I hate this! I guess
I'm hoping someone can tell me the secret potion to use to make all this
behavior go away! :

It's been four weeks and one day since her adoption, and I hate to keep her
confined to one room for much longer, though.

Hugs,

CatNipped


--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
snip

I know, but ****** I hate to have to make that kind of decision! She is
*SO* sweet otherwise. At least, thank gawd, we adopted her from the
no-kill rescue, SunMart, that operates out of PetsMart, so at the very
least I know she won't be euthanized. Also, they don't have a shelter and
board their charges with fosterers, so she won't be confined to a cage
either (although with her aggressiveness she may be confined to one room
unless they can find a fosterer with no other animals - there are some
that will only take one at a time (and if that's the case I think she
could make a good argument for herself to be adopted as an only cat))!
^&%*&()*&*(& I hate this! I guess I'm hoping someone can tell me the
secret potion to use to make all this behavior go away! :

It's been four weeks and one day since her adoption, and I hate to keep
her confined to one room for much longer, though.
--------
Catnipped...give it some more time...We took Tux as a foster cat (we had
four other cats) from a no-kill shelter where he had been fostered in
someone's home for several weeks or a month or two. We did not adopt him
outright but took him in as a foster of our own on a trial basis. The woman
who had been fostering him told me that he had a lot of purrsonality, "maybe
too much" (to use her words) and that he could be a little wild with timid
cats, but that as long as my other cats weren't shy or timid, Tux would
probably be okay with them and that he was a loving lap cat who liked to be
picked up and purred a lot. Right.

Ho, ho...Tux was quite aggressive toward the other four cats (who are not
shy). He would take his revenge on me if I moved him from one location to
another and he didn't want to go; he would leap on my leg and bite my
ankle. I had to use the water bottle a lot. He wasn't the least bit of a lap
cat and hated to be picked up. We kept on and on with him, hoping it would
get better. Things did improve, but very slowly. Finally, my husband said he
couldn't take it anymore and that Tux would have to be returned. So, I
phoned the woman who said she would try to locate another foster home for
Tux. She said she couldn't take him back to her house because she was
fostering a bunch of other cats, and the truth of the matter was that he had
terrorized her other cats. She said that during the time she was fostering
Tux, she had been on the verge of losing her job because she was so
exhausted at work from breaking up three to four cat fights per night
(involving him and other cats). To make a long story short, we all mutually
agreed that Tux needed to be an "only cat," and she asked if we could hang
onto him for just a little longer until she found an "only cat" foster
situation for him. We said okay. Several weeks later, she phoned and said
she had a placement for him. But it was too late...he had already calmed
down significantly, and he was ours!

The moral of the story is: It probably took about six months, but this wild
and aggressive cat who needed an "only cat" situation is now a much calmer
cat and living successfully in a five-cat household. My theory is that since
he had been neutered just before we acquired him, his hormones took several
months to quiet down. Additionally, when the no-kill shelter originally
picked him up from animal control, he was skinny and full of fleas. He
probably had had a very rough time of it and just needed more time to
adjust.

For the first few months, we did have to keep Tux separated from the other
cats when we weren't home, and we also kept him separated from them during
the night. You have had Tayla a very short time, and she has really had a
very rough time of it. But since she is so sweet and you love her so much,
if I were in your shoes, I would get some Feliway and give it more time.
Remember, you always have the option of giving her back to the agency at any
time, even six months from now, so there's no rush. And BTW, don't feel
guilty about having to keep Tayla separated from the other cats for a while
longer. If she is aggressive toward your cats, she will be just as
aggressive (if not more so) toward the other cats in a foster home, and she
will end up being kept separated from the other cats anyway.
Good luck.
Best regards,
---Cindy S .

"cindys" wrote in message
...

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
snip

I know, but ****** I hate to have to make that kind of decision! She is
*SO* sweet otherwise. At least, thank gawd, we adopted her from the
no-kill rescue, SunMart, that operates out of PetsMart, so at the very
least I know she won't be euthanized. Also, they don't have a shelter
and board their charges with fosterers, so she won't be confined to a
cage either (although with her aggressiveness she may be confined to one
room unless they can find a fosterer with no other animals - there are
some that will only take one at a time (and if that's the case I think
she could make a good argument for herself to be adopted as an only
cat))! ^&%*&()*&*(& I hate this! I guess I'm hoping someone can tell me
the secret potion to use to make all this behavior go away! :

It's been four weeks and one day since her adoption, and I hate to keep
her confined to one room for much longer, though.
--------
Catnipped...give it some more time...We took Tux as a foster cat (we had
four other cats) from a no-kill shelter where he had been fostered in
someone's home for several weeks or a month or two. We did not adopt him
outright but took him in as a foster of our own on a trial basis. The
woman who had been fostering him told me that he had a lot of
purrsonality, "maybe too much" (to use her words) and that he could be a
little wild with timid cats, but that as long as my other cats weren't shy
or timid, Tux would probably be okay with them and that he was a loving
lap cat who liked to be picked up and purred a lot. Right.

Ho, ho...Tux was quite aggressive toward the other four cats (who are not
shy). He would take his revenge on me if I moved him from one location to
another and he didn't want to go; he would leap on my leg and bite my
ankle. I had to use the water bottle a lot. He wasn't the least bit of a
lap cat and hated to be picked up. We kept on and on with him, hoping it
would get better. Things did improve, but very slowly. Finally, my husband
said he couldn't take it anymore and that Tux would have to be returned.
So, I phoned the woman who said she would try to locate another foster
home for Tux. She said she couldn't take him back to her house because she
was fostering a bunch of other cats, and the truth of the matter was that
he had terrorized her other cats. She said that during the time she was
fostering Tux, she had been on the verge of losing her job because she was
so exhausted at work from breaking up three to four cat fights per night
(involving him and other cats). To make a long story short, we all
mutually agreed that Tux needed to be an "only cat," and she asked if we
could hang onto him for just a little longer until she found an "only cat"
foster situation for him. We said okay. Several weeks later, she phoned
and said she had a placement for him. But it was too late...he had already
calmed down significantly, and he was ours!

The moral of the story is: It probably took about six months, but this
wild and aggressive cat who needed an "only cat" situation is now a much
calmer cat and living successfully in a five-cat household. My theory is
that since he had been neutered just before we acquired him, his hormones
took several months to quiet down. Additionally, when the no-kill shelter
originally picked him up from animal control, he was skinny and full of
fleas. He probably had had a very rough time of it and just needed more
time to adjust.

For the first few months, we did have to keep Tux separated from the other
cats when we weren't home, and we also kept him separated from them during
the night. You have had Tayla a very short time, and she has really had a
very rough time of it. But since she is so sweet and you love her so much,
if I were in your shoes, I would get some Feliway and give it more time.
Remember, you always have the option of giving her back to the agency at
any time, even six months from now, so there's no rush. And BTW, don't
feel guilty about having to keep Tayla separated from the other cats for a
while longer. If she is aggressive toward your cats, she will be just as
aggressive (if not more so) toward the other cats in a foster home, and
she will end up being kept separated from the other cats anyway.
Good luck.
Best regards,
---Cindy S .

Thanks Cindy. We're weren't planning on doing anything right away - that's
just my type "A" personality coming into play, I need to have immediate
solutions even if I don't plan to act on them for some time. Ben doesn't
want to bring Tayla back at all, so it's not like I'm getting pressure from
him to do anything.

But the one thing I'm worried about is the kittens' personalities. They're
about 14 weeks old now, and I don't want them to become cowering cats like
Demi did. I think Demi's shyness and her "living" under a bed was because
she grew up with Bandit. Bandit was always mean to Demi, even though she
never physically hurt Demi. I *HATE* it that Demi is so shy that she runs
from everybody and everything - she doesn't come out to play or even
socialize except late at night when all is quiet and she can "sneak" 5
minutes of petting. She doesn't even come out to get treats.

I would really hate it for the boys to become like that - they're so
outgoing and playful now and it would break my heart for them to become
timid skulkers. If it were only Demi, Jessie and Sammy involved I wouldn't
worry about it at all I'd just let the dynamics play themselves out - but I
don't want to ruin the lives of my two little guys.

Hugs,

CatNipped

On Sun 22 Jul 2007 07:41:46p, CatNipped wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav
:

Thanks Cindy. We're weren't planning on doing anything right
away - that's just my type "A" personality coming into play, I
need to have immediate solutions even if I don't plan to act on
them for some time. Ben doesn't want to bring Tayla back at
all, so it's not like I'm getting pressure from him to do
anything.

But the one thing I'm worried about is the kittens'
personalities. They're about 14 weeks old now, and I don't want
them to become cowering cats like Demi did. I think Demi's
shyness and her "living" under a bed was because she grew up
with Bandit. Bandit was always mean to Demi, even though she
never physically hurt Demi. I *HATE* it that Demi is so shy
that she runs from everybody and everything - she doesn't come
out to play or even socialize except late at night when all is
quiet and she can "sneak" 5 minutes of petting. She doesn't
even come out to get treats.

I would really hate it for the boys to become like that -
they're so outgoing and playful now and it would break my heart
for them to become timid skulkers. If it were only Demi, Jessie
and Sammy involved I wouldn't worry about it at all I'd just let
the dynamics play themselves out - but I don't want to ruin the
lives of my two little guys.


Introducing cats is not easy. They tend to be so independent,
and other than in feral colonies, they aren't social like dogs are.
Even in colonies, there's a pecking order. Just keep in mind that
it isn't necessarily an unhappy life for a cat to be hiding all the
time. They do that in the wild. Self-preservation. It is their
nature. I used to watch Bonnie when she was still feral and she was
always chased away from the food by the bigger strays that I fed.
That's probably why she was so skinny, but she was surviving. Also,
what happens in their kittenhood doesn't always shape how they are
when fully grown. Remember the good care Shamrock took of the
"kittens" when they were small? Well, now he doesn't snuggle them
like he used to, but Bonnie and Scarlett have bonded, and Rhett
just likes to domineer everyone. Shamrock doesn't like that one
bit, and he gets chased into a corner constantly, and will sit and
hiss and sulk. Then take it out on Bonnie. And Rhett, as outgoing
as he is with other cats can't stand people. So this isn't a guage
to how outgoing he is. It is just how he is.

There will always be dynamics among multiple cats. We just have to
do what we can do to make sure those dynamics don't result in
injury. And, sometimes it does, and sometimes its just in play.
Sometimes not. When it happens, we clean up their wounds and let
them move on. Try to think like a cat, not a human. )

Good luck and please don't make any quick decisions. I can see
that you aren't, and that's so good!


--
Cheryl

On 23 Jul, 00:41, "CatNipped" wrote:
"cindys" wrote in message

...







"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
snip

I know, but ****** I hate to have to make that kind of decision! She is
*SO* sweet otherwise. At least, thank gawd, we adopted her from the
no-kill rescue, SunMart, that operates out of PetsMart, so at the very
least I know she won't be euthanized. Also, they don't have a shelter
and board their charges with fosterers, so she won't be confined to a
cage either (although with her aggressiveness she may be confined to one
room unless they can find a fosterer with no other animals - there are
some that will only take one at a time (and if that's the case I think
she could make a good argument for herself to be adopted as an only
cat))! ^&%*&()*&*(& I hate this! I guess I'm hoping someone can tell me
the secret potion to use to make all this behavior go away! :

It's been four weeks and one day since her adoption, and I hate to keep
her confined to one room for much longer, though.
--------
Catnipped...give it some more time...We took Tux as a foster cat (we had
four other cats) from a no-kill shelter where he had been fostered in
someone's home for several weeks or a month or two. We did not adopt him
outright but took him in as a foster of our own on a trial basis. The
woman who had been fostering him told me that he had a lot of
purrsonality, "maybe too much" (to use her words) and that he could be a
little wild with timid cats, but that as long as my other cats weren't shy
or timid, Tux would probably be okay with them and that he was a loving
lap cat who liked to be picked up and purred a lot. Right.

Ho, ho...Tux was quite aggressive toward the other four cats (who are not
shy). He would take his revenge on me if I moved him from one location to
another and he didn't want to go; he would leap on my leg and bite my
ankle. I had to use the water bottle a lot. He wasn't the least bit of a
lap cat and hated to be picked up. We kept on and on with him, hoping it
would get better. Things did improve, but very slowly. Finally, my husband
said he couldn't take it anymore and that Tux would have to be returned.
So, I phoned the woman who said she would try to locate another foster
home for Tux. She said she couldn't take him back to her house because she
was fostering a bunch of other cats, and the truth of the matter was that
he had terrorized her other cats. She said that during the time she was
fostering Tux, she had been on the verge of losing her job because she was
so exhausted at work from breaking up three to four cat fights per night
(involving him and other cats). To make a long story short, we all
mutually agreed that Tux needed to be an "only cat," and she asked if we
could hang onto him for just a little longer until she found an "only cat"
foster situation for him. We said okay. Several weeks later, she phoned
and said she had a placement for him. But it was too late...he had already
calmed down significantly, and he was ours!

The moral of the story is: It probably took about six months, but this
wild and aggressive cat who needed an "only cat" situation is now a much
calmer cat and living successfully in a five-cat household. My theory is
that since he had been neutered just before we acquired him, his hormones
took several months to quiet down. Additionally, when the no-kill shelter
originally picked him up from animal control, he was skinny and full of
fleas. He probably had had a very rough time of it and just needed more
time to adjust.

For the first few months, we did have to keep Tux separated from the other
cats when we weren't home, and we also kept him separated from them during
the night. You have had Tayla a very short time, and she has really had a
very rough time of it. But since she is so sweet and you love her so much,
if I were in your shoes, I would get some Feliway and give it more time.
Remember, you always have the option of giving her back to the agency at
any time, even six months from now, so there's no rush. And BTW, don't
feel guilty about having to keep Tayla separated from the other cats for a
while longer. If she is aggressive toward your cats, she will be just as
aggressive (if not more so) toward the other cats in a foster home, and
she will end up being kept separated from the other cats anyway.
Good luck.
Best regards,
---Cindy S .

Thanks Cindy. We're weren't planning on doing anything right away - that's
just my type "A" personality coming into play, I need to have immediate
solutions even if I don't plan to act on them for some time. Ben doesn't
want to bring Tayla back at all, so it's not like I'm getting pressure from
him to do anything.

But the one thing I'm worried about is the kittens' personalities. They're
about 14 weeks old now, and I don't want them to become cowering cats like
Demi did. I think Demi's shyness and her "living" under a bed was because
she grew up with Bandit. Bandit was always mean to Demi, even though she
never physically hurt Demi. I *HATE* it that Demi is so shy that she runs
from everybody and everything - she doesn't come out to play or even
socialize except late at night when all is quiet and she can "sneak" 5
minutes of petting. She doesn't even come out to get treats.

I would really hate it for the boys to become like that - they're so
outgoing and playful now and it would break my heart for them to become
timid skulkers. If it were only Demi, Jessie and Sammy involved I wouldn't
worry about it at all I'd just let the dynamics play themselves out - but I
don't want to ruin the lives of my two little guys.

Hugs,

CatNipped- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

have you tried using a feliway diffuser yet?

"Cheryl" wrote in message
...
On Sun 22 Jul 2007 07:41:46p, CatNipped wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav
:

Thanks Cindy. We're weren't planning on doing anything right
away - that's just my type "A" personality coming into play, I
need to have immediate solutions even if I don't plan to act on
them for some time. Ben doesn't want to bring Tayla back at
all, so it's not like I'm getting pressure from him to do
anything.

But the one thing I'm worried about is the kittens'
personalities. They're about 14 weeks old now, and I don't want
them to become cowering cats like Demi did. I think Demi's
shyness and her "living" under a bed was because she grew up
with Bandit. Bandit was always mean to Demi, even though she
never physically hurt Demi. I *HATE* it that Demi is so shy
that she runs from everybody and everything - she doesn't come
out to play or even socialize except late at night when all is
quiet and she can "sneak" 5 minutes of petting. She doesn't
even come out to get treats.

I would really hate it for the boys to become like that -
they're so outgoing and playful now and it would break my heart
for them to become timid skulkers. If it were only Demi, Jessie
and Sammy involved I wouldn't worry about it at all I'd just let
the dynamics play themselves out - but I don't want to ruin the
lives of my two little guys.


Introducing cats is not easy. They tend to be so independent,
and other than in feral colonies, they aren't social like dogs are.
Even in colonies, there's a pecking order. Just keep in mind that
it isn't necessarily an unhappy life for a cat to be hiding all the
time.

Maybe not, but *I* would be unhappy. It may not be fair to my other cats,
but Sammy is my heart cat. She was my constant companion everywhere I went
in the house. Like the Maine Coon I think she has so much of, she didn't
like to lap snuggle (except to suck her toe), but she was *ALWAYS* within
two feet of me every second that I was home. Now she lives under my bed.
*AND I MISS HER SO MUCH I WAS CRYING LAST NIGHT AND AM AGAIN NOW*.

It's breaking my heart that Tayla won't let herself be integrated into the
household, but it's breaking my heart more to see Sammy living under the
bed, Jessie living on top of the refrigerator and sneaking to the litterbox
only when we lock Tayla up, and the kittens running and hiding whenever they
see Tayla. Demi (!!!??) is the only one who will even be in the same room
with Tayla.

I'm going to give it a little while longer, but I'm beginning to believe
that this just may not be possible - not for us and, I really think, not
fair to Tayla either, I just think she needs to be an "only cat" where she
can get 100% of the love and attention she craves.

Hugs,

CatNipped

They do that in the wild. Self-preservation. It is their
nature. I used to watch Bonnie when she was still feral and she was
always chased away from the food by the bigger strays that I fed.
That's probably why she was so skinny, but she was surviving. Also,
what happens in their kittenhood doesn't always shape how they are
when fully grown. Remember the good care Shamrock took of the
"kittens" when they were small? Well, now he doesn't snuggle them
like he used to, but Bonnie and Scarlett have bonded, and Rhett
just likes to domineer everyone. Shamrock doesn't like that one
bit, and he gets chased into a corner constantly, and will sit and
hiss and sulk. Then take it out on Bonnie. And Rhett, as outgoing
as he is with other cats can't stand people. So this isn't a guage
to how outgoing he is. It is just how he is.

There will always be dynamics among multiple cats. We just have to
do what we can do to make sure those dynamics don't result in
injury. And, sometimes it does, and sometimes its just in play.
Sometimes not. When it happens, we clean up their wounds and let
them move on. Try to think like a cat, not a human. )

Good luck and please don't make any quick decisions. I can see
that you aren't, and that's so good!


--
Cheryl