O.T.

She kud throw uh bended banananana!

"Gramby" wrote in message
...
Da Gamby alwayz waned tu lern to uze a boom R rang but waz fraid her
wud kill herselfz. O T glad she never really tried.

"Rebecca" wrote in message ...

Heehee, deze iz funnee! When Meowmie wented to Pawstralia, sum uv da
hoominz
she meeted sed dat dey uzed to tell vizziterz dat banananas grow
strate, an
dey hav to go to bananana-bendin faktereez to git bended into curvz.

Rebecca

"Sylvia M" wrote in message
...
HooKaye, Meowmee styll wantz tu shhhayer dese,
cuz hur kryed wen hur red dem....

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers
are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have
a
great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for
cretins!)

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on
TV,
how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,
Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ?
( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which
does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.
Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the
directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled
and make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before
you go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

The thought of grambhy throwing anything makes us nerfous. O T and Willow
ruing for vocer

"Sylvia M" wrote in message ...

She kud throw uh bended banananana!

"Gramby" wrote in message
...
Da Gamby alwayz waned tu lern to uze a boom R rang but waz fraid her wud
kill herselfz. O T glad she never really tried.

"Rebecca" wrote in message ...

Heehee, deze iz funnee! When Meowmie wented to Pawstralia, sum uv da
hoominz
she meeted sed dat dey uzed to tell vizziterz dat banananas grow strate,
an
dey hav to go to bananana-bendin faktereez to git bended into curvz.

Rebecca

"Sylvia M" wrote in message
...
HooKaye, Meowmee styll wantz tu shhhayer dese,
cuz hur kryed wen hur red dem....

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers
are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a
great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for
cretins!)

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV,
how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,
Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (
USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings
Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.
Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its
name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Diz iz awl tu silli..
Fank yu Pi2nya n efferycat hoo ansurd.

Mosey n hiz meomie waffin hard..


She kud throw uh bended banananana!


Da Gamby alwayz waned tu lern to uze a boom R rang but waz fraid her
wud kill herselfz. O T glad she never really tried.

"Rebecca"

Heehee, deze iz funnee! When Meowmie wented to Pawstralia, sum uv da
hoominz
she meeted sed dat dey uzed to tell vizziterz dat banananas grow
strate, an
dey hav to go to bananana-bendin faktereez to git bended into curvz.

Rebecca


HooKaye, Meowmee styll wantz tu shhhayer dese,
cuz hur kryed wen hur red dem....

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers
are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have
a
great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for
cretins!)

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on
TV,
how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,
Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ?
( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which
does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.
Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the
directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled
and make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before
you go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

ai kan totuly unnrstan dat, OEJ, hoominz..wat iz rong wif dem? siiiiiiii
ai sew gwad weh r cats..yeUP. Mosey


der usta be a famblee whut wuz furm der, da lady hoomin named a kitty
little miss violette afur mine momcat, but den der wuz prolemz of da hoomin
nashure anna dey no longer pozted, OEJ



Are there any Australian kitteez here?
I will send a fun--neeeee email about their answers to tourests to yur
slave.
Pit2nya

ai dunt 'fink' der r inny Australian kitteez here, Pit2nya.
ai cood beh rong, but ai dunt fink sew, Nope.
Weh gotz sum nise kitties frum Scotland, but gnot frum Australia, ai dunt
fink inniwai.

Mosey

prolee a gud thing da softz brofur tryda teech hersef, not a gud
combinashun, der iz juzt sum thingz da peoplez whu duzint see gud shud du
and boomerangz iz one of dem, OEJ
"Gramby" wrote in message
...
Da Gamby alwayz waned tu lern to uze a boom R rang but waz fraid her wud
kill herselfz. O T glad she never really tried.

"Rebecca" wrote in message ...

Heehee, deze iz funnee! When Meowmie wented to Pawstralia, sum uv da
hoominz
she meeted sed dat dey uzed to tell vizziterz dat banananas grow strate,
an
dey hav to go to bananana-bendin faktereez to git bended into curvz.

Rebecca

"Sylvia M" wrote in message
...
HooKaye, Meowmee styll wantz tu shhhayer dese,
cuz hur kryed wen hur red dem....

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers
are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a
great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for
cretins!)

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV,
how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,
Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (
USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings
Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.
Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its
name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Izzunt dat uh valu djujmint?
I dunt tink wun kan b tuutuuu silli, ur hav tuutuu mutsh fun IMO.
--
Pitô.ônya

"Mosey =^..^=" wrote in message
...

Diz iz awl tu silli.. Fank yu Pi2nya n efferycat hoo ansurd.
Mosey n hiz meomie waffin hard..

She kud throw uh bended banananana!


Da Gamby alwayz waned tu lern to uze a boom R rang but waz fraid her
wud kill herselfz. O T glad she never really tried.

"Rebecca"
Heehee, deze iz funnee! When Meowmie wented to Pawstralia, sum uv da
hoominz
she meeted sed dat dey uzed to tell vizziterz dat banananas grow
strate, an
dey hav to go to bananana-bendin faktereez to git bended into curvz.

Rebecca


HooKaye, Meowmee styll wantz tu shhhayer dese,
cuz hur kryed wen hur red dem....

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers
are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously
have a
great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for
cretins!)

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain
on TV,
how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,
Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ?
( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which
does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.
Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the
directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled
and make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out
of Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before
you go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

ai hab tu ugrei wif yu Pi2nya. Totuly. MOAR silliez n moar fuhn..

Mosey


Izzunt dat uh valu djujmint?
I dunt tink wun kan b tuutuuu silli, ur hav tuutuu mutsh fun IMO.
--
Pitô.ônya


Diz iz awl tu silli.. Fank yu Pi2nya n efferycat hoo ansurd.
Mosey n hiz meomie waffin hard..

She kud throw uh bended banananana!


Da Gamby alwayz waned tu lern to uze a boom R rang but waz fraid her wud
kill herselfz. O T glad she never really tried.

"Rebecca"
Heehee, deze iz funnee! When Meowmie wented to Pawstralia, sum uv da
hoominz
she meeted sed dat dey uzed to tell vizziterz dat banananas grow strate,
an
dey hav to go to bananana-bendin faktereez to git bended into curvz.

Rebecca


HooKaye, Meowmee styll wantz tu shhhayer dese,
cuz hur kryed wen hur red dem....

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers
are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a
great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for
cretins!)

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on
TV,
how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,
Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (
USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings
Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.
Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its
name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

nokitty or hoomin can efur laff enuf, OEJ
"Pi2nya AKA Sweetee" wrote in message
...
Izzunt dat uh valu djujmint?
I dunt tink wun kan b tuutuuu silli, ur hav tuutuu mutsh fun IMO.
--
Pitô.ônya

"Mosey =^..^=" wrote in message
...

Diz iz awl tu silli.. Fank yu Pi2nya n efferycat hoo ansurd.
Mosey n hiz meomie waffin hard..

She kud throw uh bended banananana!


Da Gamby alwayz waned tu lern to uze a boom R rang but waz fraid her wud
kill herselfz. O T glad she never really tried.

"Rebecca"
Heehee, deze iz funnee! When Meowmie wented to Pawstralia, sum uv da
hoominz
she meeted sed dat dey uzed to tell vizziterz dat banananas grow strate,
an
dey hav to go to bananana-bendin faktereez to git bended into curvz.

Rebecca


HooKaye, Meowmee styll wantz tu shhhayer dese,
cuz hur kryed wen hur red dem....

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers
are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a
great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for
cretins!)

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on
TV,
how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,
Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ?
( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.
Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Ai ugrei...sum hoominz NEED tu laff MOAR haowevur.

Pipps

nokitty or hoomin can efur laff enuf, OEJ

Izzunt dat uh valu djujmint?
I dunt tink wun kan b tuutuuu silli, ur hav tuutuu mutsh fun IMO.
--
Pitô.ônya

"Mosey =^..^=" wrote in message
...

Diz iz awl tu silli.. Fank yu Pi2nya n efferycat hoo ansurd.
Mosey n hiz meomie waffin hard..

She kud throw uh bended banananana!


Da Gamby alwayz waned tu lern to uze a boom R rang but waz fraid her wud
kill herselfz. O T glad she never really tried.

"Rebecca"
Heehee, deze iz funnee! When Meowmie wented to Pawstralia, sum uv da
hoominz
she meeted sed dat dey uzed to tell vizziterz dat banananas grow strate,
an
dey hav to go to bananana-bendin faktereez to git bended into curvz.

Rebecca


HooKaye, Meowmee styll wantz tu shhhayer dese,
cuz hur kryed wen hur red dem....

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers
are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a
great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for
cretins!)

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on
TV,
how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,
Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ?
( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.
Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name.
It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

On Nov 5, 6:24*pm, "Sylvia M" wrote:
HooKaye, Meowmee styll wantz tu shhhayer dese,
cuz hur kryed wen hur red dem....


WooToo an Wascal ar rollin on da flor laughin. Missy is in hysterics
too but manages to speek

Oh, dat is gud. Wee shood dew a list of kitty ansurs to stoopid hoomin
kwestions. Wike:

"Does da widdl hissing kitty want to be petted?"

"Dew yoo haff too much blud in yoor system?"

--
Missy