Loss of our Tortie and need advice about adopting a new kitty

We just lost Bliss 2 days ago. I apologize first for this long post,
but I think telling the story will help ease the pain. Bliss was a
beautiful 7 year old Tortie - she was our first of 3 cats and she
immediately bonded with me. My husband first noticed that Bliss was
having breathing problems 2 weeks ago, with her abdominal muscles
drawing in deeply with each breath. One week later, we took her to the
vet because she was breathing faster. This vet did not have an xray
facility, so he offered that we tried either medical management or
getting an xray elsewhere, but he suggested that the medical management
may save us money because we may not necessarily need an xray. He gave
her Lasix (diuretic) injections and asked to bring her back the next
morning. He thought her breathing had improved and gave more Lasix.
We brought her back again, and he concluded that Bliss has pulmonary
edema (based on improvement on Lasix), but could not say whether it was
from heart failure or asthma. He did not suggest any treatment other
than to bring her back when her breathing worsens. Honestly, I was not
convinced that her breathing had improved. A few days later, her
breathing continued to worsen, and with an unknown diagnosis (even if
was asthma), I wanted a piece of mind that there was nothing wrong with
her heart. So, we went to a facility to get her an xray, which showed,
in my new vet's words, "the biggest pleural effsusion I have ever
seen," with little lungs left (rest being compressed by the fluid)
The fluid was drained and sent in for analysis, but the xray post
draining did not look that much better. It showed a large thing
masking the heart (it was three times the size of a normal heart),
which could be either cancer such as lymphoma or fluid around the
heart. My husband and I debated at length about whether we should
consider chemo if it turned out to be lymphoma since mediastinal
lymphoma is typically very responsive to chemo, but we also weighed
against Bliss' utter protest to visiting the vet (she had to be
mildly sedated or net was used by prior vets) as well as the cost of
chemo (we have only one income which mainly goes to our needed living
expenses without much left).

In just a few days after her first chest draining, she became less and
less of her self, ate less and eventually did not want to eat, became
weaker and eventually did not move much except to shift to a position
comfortable for breathing (but she did have that once ounce of energy
left to run away from the carrier when we had to bring her in for a 2nd
draining). Her breathing was at its worst, occasionally opening mouth
to breath, seemed to use all her body to breath, had nasal flaring, and
making loud breathing sounds. We drove quickly to the vet to alleviate
her respiratory distress, and learned from our vet the results of the
pleural fluid analysis: Bliss has a carcinoma of the lung or
mesothelioma, both very untreatable. In a way, this made the decision
to put her to sleep easier, but nevertheless, my husband and I sobbed
hard because all this started just 2 weeks ago (we thought she had
asthma!). We are still so heartbroken and I still shed tears today.
Being at home has been hard, not seeing her in her usual places, not
having her follow me around, not hearing her purring, not rubbing her
soft fur, not seeing her come when I snap my fingers... I've been
feeling guilty about not getting the xray right away - instead we
subjected her needlessly to those Lasix injections and multiple vet
visits that were inconclusive. If any of you have a cat with breathing
problem, I would recommend that you get an xray right away, because in
the end, we ended up spending more money (e.g. on the lasix injections
and those extra vet visits before the xray).

We have 2 other cats, both bonded well with each other and with my
husband, so I have been feeling esp sad, with a huge void in my heart.
I thought about adopting a new cat that will be as affectionate as
Bliss, but wonder if it would be an impulsive desire given that I am so
heartbroken... There is also an issue of introducing a new cat to a
multicat household, although previously we did not have much diffculty,
but each time was a kitten, not a older cat. I would like a cat a bit
older than 6 months or old enough that his/her personality is easy to
see. For those of you who have adopted a cat older than 1 year, how
did your other cats react? Also, Bliss was our first cat and bonded
with me immediately, and she did not care much for other cats. Our
second cat, Pokey, then bonded with my husband. Our third one, Tugly,
bonded with neither one of us, but seemed close to Pokey. I've heard
a new kitty coming into a household that already has other cats does
not bond with humans as readily... What are your experiences on this?
Thanks for reading my post... I am feeling much better already.

Aww. I'm so sorry to hear about Bliss. About bringing in a new kitty, I
think it just depends totally on the cat. I think if you go around to
shelters and adoption fairs, you will know if there is a kitty you can bond
with. They will just be the one. They won't be Bliss, but that is a GOOD
thing. I'd just say just keep going around until you find the cat that
"speaks" to you. Again, my most sincere condolences.

"carlene" wrote in message
oups.com...
We just lost Bliss 2 days ago. I apologize first for this long post,
but I think telling the story will help ease the pain. Bliss was a
beautiful 7 year old Tortie - she was our first of 3 cats and she
immediately bonded with me.

I'm so sorry about Bliss. She sounds like a very special cat.
My advice about getting another cat; you will know when you are ready. You
could start visiting shelters just to see how it feels. If it's too
painful, then it's not time yet. I've worked with many people as a cat
adoption counselor at the shelter, many of whom recently had a cat pass on.
Some people can't stand the void and need to fill it immediately. They will
come in the day after the cat passed. It surprised me at first, but for
some people it's what they needed to do. I have had a couple people who
adopted too quickly and then returned the cat. Not common, but it does
happen. Go to a shelter when you are ready and allow a cat to choose you.

There are lots of archived posts about intergrating cats. The way to do it
in a nutshell is, do not throw the cats together immediately. Keep the new
cat in a separate room, exchange smells (rub new cat with a towel, leave it
in the other cats' favorite hangout, vice versa). After a few days, let the
cats start seeing each other, graduate to surpervised visits. Once everyone
appears comfortable, then let the new cat out.
--
-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
"Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG

"carlene" wrote in message
oups.com...
We just lost Bliss 2 days ago. I apologize first for this long post,
but I think telling the story will help ease the pain. Bliss was a
beautiful 7 year old Tortie - she was our first of 3 cats and she
immediately bonded with me. My husband first noticed that Bliss was
having breathing problems 2 weeks ago, with her abdominal muscles
drawing in deeply with each breath. One week later, we took her to the
vet because she was breathing faster. This vet did not have an xray
facility, so he offered that we tried either medical management or
getting an xray elsewhere, but he suggested that the medical management
may save us money because we may not necessarily need an xray. He gave
her Lasix (diuretic) injections and asked to bring her back the next
morning. He thought her breathing had improved and gave more Lasix.
We brought her back again, and he concluded that Bliss has pulmonary
edema (based on improvement on Lasix), but could not say whether it was
from heart failure or asthma. He did not suggest any treatment other
than to bring her back when her breathing worsens. Honestly, I was not
convinced that her breathing had improved. A few days later, her
breathing continued to worsen, and with an unknown diagnosis (even if
was asthma), I wanted a piece of mind that there was nothing wrong with
her heart. So, we went to a facility to get her an xray, which showed,
in my new vet's words, "the biggest pleural effsusion I have ever
seen," with little lungs left (rest being compressed by the fluid)
The fluid was drained and sent in for analysis, but the xray post
draining did not look that much better. It showed a large thing
masking the heart (it was three times the size of a normal heart),
which could be either cancer such as lymphoma or fluid around the
heart. My husband and I debated at length about whether we should
consider chemo if it turned out to be lymphoma since mediastinal
lymphoma is typically very responsive to chemo, but we also weighed
against Bliss' utter protest to visiting the vet (she had to be
mildly sedated or net was used by prior vets) as well as the cost of
chemo (we have only one income which mainly goes to our needed living
expenses without much left).

In just a few days after her first chest draining, she became less and
less of her self, ate less and eventually did not want to eat, became
weaker and eventually did not move much except to shift to a position
comfortable for breathing (but she did have that once ounce of energy
left to run away from the carrier when we had to bring her in for a 2nd
draining). Her breathing was at its worst, occasionally opening mouth
to breath, seemed to use all her body to breath, had nasal flaring, and
making loud breathing sounds. We drove quickly to the vet to alleviate
her respiratory distress, and learned from our vet the results of the
pleural fluid analysis: Bliss has a carcinoma of the lung or
mesothelioma, both very untreatable. In a way, this made the decision
to put her to sleep easier, but nevertheless, my husband and I sobbed
hard because all this started just 2 weeks ago (we thought she had
asthma!). We are still so heartbroken and I still shed tears today.
Being at home has been hard, not seeing her in her usual places, not
having her follow me around, not hearing her purring, not rubbing her
soft fur, not seeing her come when I snap my fingers... I've been
feeling guilty about not getting the xray right away - instead we
subjected her needlessly to those Lasix injections and multiple vet
visits that were inconclusive. If any of you have a cat with breathing
problem, I would recommend that you get an xray right away, because in
the end, we ended up spending more money (e.g. on the lasix injections
and those extra vet visits before the xray).

We have 2 other cats, both bonded well with each other and with my
husband, so I have been feeling esp sad, with a huge void in my heart.
I thought about adopting a new cat that will be as affectionate as
Bliss, but wonder if it would be an impulsive desire given that I am so
heartbroken... There is also an issue of introducing a new cat to a
multicat household, although previously we did not have much diffculty,
but each time was a kitten, not a older cat. I would like a cat a bit
older than 6 months or old enough that his/her personality is easy to
see. For those of you who have adopted a cat older than 1 year, how
did your other cats react? Also, Bliss was our first cat and bonded
with me immediately, and she did not care much for other cats. Our
second cat, Pokey, then bonded with my husband. Our third one, Tugly,
bonded with neither one of us, but seemed close to Pokey. I've heard
a new kitty coming into a household that already has other cats does
not bond with humans as readily... What are your experiences on this?
Thanks for reading my post... I am feeling much better already.


** Charlene,

First of all I am so, so sorry about your loss. I understand how painful it
can be having lost my 19 1/2 year old about 2 months ago. I lost him to what
we best guessed was 'cardio mylopathy' that came on suddenly, all within the
last 2 months of Blue's life.

Yes, it will take time to grieve, and you must give yourselves time to go
through it, painful as it is. With the lost of a direct 'family member', as
Blue was to me, it can be heartwrenching and very difficult to go through
alone, so you've come to the right place. It also takes a really different
amount of time to move through the grief, and is a very individual process.
I decided that I honestly may never completely get over the loss of my dear
cat, Blue, and I just try to take it 'one day at a time', but yes, it has*
gotten better, fresh as it all still seems.

Many of us that post and lurk here have lost a beloved companion at some
times in our life, and for me this was my first (time). So we can defiantly
relate to what you are now going through, and God knows, I wouldn't ever
want to wish it on anyone. My biggest consolation and solace is that I
believe I WILL meet my dear Blue again when I die. My faith has helped me
with that.

Addressing your last question persoanally believe that having just *one* cat
is the way to go, particulay if a person is home a lot of the time. I have
found that when a cat has another cat around, particularly if he/she is a
kitten, then the cats will usually* wind up bonding mainly with each other
and not you. But if you have just one* cat/ kitten, then the kitten/cat will
bond with you* and you* and/or family members only. That's been my
experience, that in a 'one cat' household the cat actually picks up your
habits easier, is easier to train, and acts more so like a human than a
(often wildish) acting cat. Besides, for me, I've found that I can give
much, much, better quality time with just one animal and one that is devoted
to just me, and me only.





ML

in article ,
Slimpickins at wrote on 1/26/05 8:26 PM:




"carlene" wrote in message
oups.com...
We just lost Bliss 2 days ago. I apologize first for this long post,
but I think telling the story will help ease the pain. Bliss was a
beautiful 7 year old Tortie - she was our first of 3 cats and she
immediately bonded with me. My husband first noticed that Bliss was
having breathing problems 2 weeks ago, with her abdominal muscles
drawing in deeply with each breath. One week later, we took her to the
vet because she was breathing faster. This vet did not have an xray
facility, so he offered that we tried either medical management or
getting an xray elsewhere, but he suggested that the medical management
may save us money because we may not necessarily need an xray. He gave
her Lasix (diuretic) injections and asked to bring her back the next
morning. He thought her breathing had improved and gave more Lasix.
We brought her back again, and he concluded that Bliss has pulmonary
edema (based on improvement on Lasix), but could not say whether it was
from heart failure or asthma. He did not suggest any treatment other
than to bring her back when her breathing worsens. Honestly, I was not
convinced that her breathing had improved. A few days later, her
breathing continued to worsen, and with an unknown diagnosis (even if
was asthma), I wanted a piece of mind that there was nothing wrong with
her heart. So, we went to a facility to get her an xray, which showed,
in my new vet's words, "the biggest pleural effsusion I have ever
seen," with little lungs left (rest being compressed by the fluid)
The fluid was drained and sent in for analysis, but the xray post
draining did not look that much better. It showed a large thing
masking the heart (it was three times the size of a normal heart),
which could be either cancer such as lymphoma or fluid around the
heart. My husband and I debated at length about whether we should
consider chemo if it turned out to be lymphoma since mediastinal
lymphoma is typically very responsive to chemo, but we also weighed
against Bliss' utter protest to visiting the vet (she had to be
mildly sedated or net was used by prior vets) as well as the cost of
chemo (we have only one income which mainly goes to our needed living
expenses without much left).

In just a few days after her first chest draining, she became less and
less of her self, ate less and eventually did not want to eat, became
weaker and eventually did not move much except to shift to a position
comfortable for breathing (but she did have that once ounce of energy
left to run away from the carrier when we had to bring her in for a 2nd
draining). Her breathing was at its worst, occasionally opening mouth
to breath, seemed to use all her body to breath, had nasal flaring, and
making loud breathing sounds. We drove quickly to the vet to alleviate
her respiratory distress, and learned from our vet the results of the
pleural fluid analysis: Bliss has a carcinoma of the lung or
mesothelioma, both very untreatable. In a way, this made the decision
to put her to sleep easier, but nevertheless, my husband and I sobbed
hard because all this started just 2 weeks ago (we thought she had
asthma!). We are still so heartbroken and I still shed tears today.
Being at home has been hard, not seeing her in her usual places, not
having her follow me around, not hearing her purring, not rubbing her
soft fur, not seeing her come when I snap my fingers... I've been
feeling guilty about not getting the xray right away - instead we
subjected her needlessly to those Lasix injections and multiple vet
visits that were inconclusive. If any of you have a cat with breathing
problem, I would recommend that you get an xray right away, because in
the end, we ended up spending more money (e.g. on the lasix injections
and those extra vet visits before the xray).

We have 2 other cats, both bonded well with each other and with my
husband, so I have been feeling esp sad, with a huge void in my heart.
I thought about adopting a new cat that will be as affectionate as
Bliss, but wonder if it would be an impulsive desire given that I am so
heartbroken... There is also an issue of introducing a new cat to a
multicat household, although previously we did not have much diffculty,
but each time was a kitten, not a older cat. I would like a cat a bit
older than 6 months or old enough that his/her personality is easy to
see. For those of you who have adopted a cat older than 1 year, how
did your other cats react? Also, Bliss was our first cat and bonded
with me immediately, and she did not care much for other cats. Our
second cat, Pokey, then bonded with my husband. Our third one, Tugly,
bonded with neither one of us, but seemed close to Pokey. I've heard
a new kitty coming into a household that already has other cats does
not bond with humans as readily... What are your experiences on this?
Thanks for reading my post... I am feeling much better already.


** Charlene,

First of all I am so, so sorry about your loss. I understand how painful it
can be having lost my 19 1/2 year old about 2 months ago. I lost him to what
we best guessed was 'cardio mylopathy' that came on suddenly, all within the
last 2 months of Blue's life.

Yes, it will take time to grieve, and you must give yourselves time to go
through it, painful as it is. With the lost of a direct 'family member', as
Blue was to me, it can be heartwrenching and very difficult to go through
alone, so you've come to the right place. It also takes a really different
amount of time to move through the grief, and is a very individual process.
I decided that I honestly may never completely get over the loss of my dear
cat, Blue, and I just try to take it 'one day at a time', but yes, it has*
gotten better, fresh as it all still seems.

Many of us that post and lurk here have lost a beloved companion at some
times in our life, and for me this was my first (time). So we can defiantly
relate to what you are now going through, and God knows, I wouldn't ever
want to wish it on anyone. My biggest consolation and solace is that I
believe I WILL meet my dear Blue again when I die. My faith has helped me
with that.

Addressing your last question persoanally believe that having just *one* cat
is the way to go, particulay if a person is home a lot of the time. I have
found that when a cat has another cat around, particularly if he/she is a
kitten, then the cats will usually* wind up bonding mainly with each other
and not you. But if you have just one* cat/ kitten, then the kitten/cat will
bond with you* and you* and/or family members only. That's been my
experience, that in a 'one cat' household the cat actually picks up your
habits easier, is easier to train, and acts more so like a human than a
(often wildish) acting cat. Besides, for me, I've found that I can give
much, much, better quality time with just one animal and one that is devoted
to just me, and me only.





ML


Well, I have three. Two who came together and one that came mmuch later
(full grown) and believe me, it's a competition for who gets the most
laptime. Just had to add my experience.

"Slimpickins" wrote in message
...
Addressing your last question persoanally believe that having just *one*
cat
is the way to go, particulay if a person is home a lot of the time. I have
found that when a cat has another cat around, particularly if he/she is a
kitten, then the cats will usually* wind up bonding mainly with each other
and not you. But if you have just one* cat/ kitten, then the kitten/cat
will
bond with you* and you* and/or family members only. That's been my
experience, that in a 'one cat' household the cat actually picks up your
habits easier, is easier to train, and acts more so like a human than a
(often wildish) acting cat. Besides, for me, I've found that I can give
much, much, better quality time with just one animal and one that is
devoted
to just me, and me only.

I have six cats, and I couldn't disagree more. :-) If one is your personal
preference, then that's fine. One of the things I love about having
multiple cats is watching them interact. Sometimes we pause the TV to watch
the cats. I did have just one cat for a long time, and I was so sure she
would not accept another cat. We ended up getting two kittens so they could
play with each other and not annoy her, and that worked well.
--
-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
"Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG

"Addressing your last question persoanally believe that having just
*one* cat is the way to go, particulay if a person is home a lot of the
time. I have found that when a cat has another cat around, particularly
if he/she is a kitten, then the cats will usually* wind up bonding
mainly with each other and not you. But if you have just one* cat/
kitten, then the kitten/cat will bond with you* and you* and/or family
members only. That's been my
experience, that in a 'one cat' household the cat actually picks up
your
habits easier, is easier to train, and acts more so like a human than a
(often wildish) acting cat. Besides, for me, I've found that I can give
much, much, better quality time with just one animal and one that is
devoted to just me, and me only"

I've had one cat and I've had two. The funny thing is that the cat who
was an only cat is, while a loving cat who gets along with everyone, a
very independent creature. Callie has ALWAYS had a mind and a life of
her own. The companion cat, who was a semi-feral, is, by contrast,
deeply devoted to me and will stop whatever she is doing on a dime if I
give even the slightest hint that I may be willing to pet her and
indeed will often follow me around for half an hour or so mid-laundry
or perched by the computer hoping to lure me away. (Which she always
does sooner or later - lol). She doesn't extend her like of to me any
other human being at all. The exact opposite of what you are
describing. So much has to do with personality.

I'm not casting aspersions on those who can only have one cat for
logistical reasons, but to use the reasoning that the cat is only
bonded or devoted to you doesn't sound so great for the cat when you
have other things to do. I kinda like the notion that my cats have a
relationship with each other in addition to their relationship with me.
It's a richer, fuller life for them both, I think and that's what I
would want for any living thing that I cared about.

to use the reasoning that the cat is only
bonded or devoted to you doesn't sound so great for the cat when you
have other things to do. I kinda like the notion that my cats have a
relationship with each other in addition to their relationship with
me.
It's a richer, fuller life for them both, I think and that's what I
would want for any living thing that I cared about.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences, advice, thoughts, etc.
-- all have been very helpful and allowing me to see my situation in a
different light. Tracy gave me a wonderful insight and I realize that
my reasons for wanting a cat isn't just so he/she can give me all the
affection that I want or need (that would be selfish). Rather, I want
to give all of my cats a wonderful home to live in and like Tracy has
written, to have them develop relationship with each other as well as
with the humans in the household. I also appreciate the posts from
those of you whose cats are not the most affectionate, yet each one of
those cats is unique and occupies a very special place in their owner's
heart, which made me realize that even if the cats that I may adopt in
the future do not bond with me or are affectionate, I will still love
them and enjoy all their unique ways =) I still cry a bit when I look
at Bliss' pictures, but I also smile and know that she had lived a
really happy life.

"carlene" wrote

I still cry a bit when I look
at Bliss' pictures, but I also smile and know that she had lived a
really happy life.


Your heart will feel bruised for a while. I hope you go to a shelter
the first day you feel you might find room there for another cat.
So many animals need us. Too many. I only waited 2 months from
when Gnarly died until I brought Cheeks home. She is totally different
from Gnarly but so wonderful.

!

So we've been down the road of waiting a while before adopting another cat,
and adopting another right away--a lot depends on what your other cat (or
cats) tells you.


Me and a friend's personal experience.

He lost Bingo when Bingo was 18 and he was heartbroken butdecided to
wait a month and then get two older cats. After a few days of his
moping round the flat, his flatmate called the vets who were holding
Bingo's body until the weekend so he could take him to his mum's
garden and bury him and his flatmate simply said "Get that man a cat!"
(He reckoned if he'd left it a month and gone to a rehoming centre
he'd have never been able to choose and would have probably brought
them all back)
As it happened fate intervened at this point, the vet had an 18 month
old brother and sister who had been left locked inside the house when
their owners moved out! Luckily a neighbour heard them crying and
rescued them. So the vet left them in a carrier in the surgery and
waited....

20 minutes after he'd set out to collect Bingo, his flatmate got a
phone call asking him to come and collect the "new" cats and buy some
catfood.

Happy ending all round.Chloe and Tigger are spoilt rotten and
everyone's happy

As for me when Isis crossed the bridge, it was a Tuesday, we had 2
days and nights without the patter of tiny feet then I went to a woman
at work whose sort of cat (A feral she'd started feeding to encourage
her to hang about and hunt mice, she thought she was doing a really
good job when the cat put on weight- guess what she found in her
garden shed one morning?)had kittens and reserved two of them so I had
to wait a month until they were ready but after 2 days without kittens
and with no hope of kittens, we felt we had to have kittens....Some
people say that's too quick but it worked for us. Then again we did
have the months gap to mourn Isis (even through I still do miss her)I
don't know how it would have gone if we had taken the kittens in after
a few days. Still it was fate intervening again, if the woman couldn't
find them homes, she would have given them to a pet shop.....

Everyone's happy

Lesley

Slave to the Fabulous Furballs