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#121
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CAT LADY WANTED
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#122
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CAT LADY WANTED
wrote in message ... Christina Websell wrote: wrote in message Do you see no distinction at all between fantasies or stories about incest and real child abuse? Well. You might say the same about people who download child porn. Is it a fantasy or not? Does it mean they will *actually* go on to abuse children? Not the same thing at all. If you're looking at a child porn photo, that means that at some time, that child was forced to do those acts in front of a camera. So in that case, sexual abuse actually *did* take place. That's why it's illegal. Not because some guy is getting off on it. When someone writes about incest fantasies, no child has to be involved in the creation of the story. So it's just someone spinning out tales from his fantasies. You might find that offensive, but that doesn't give you or anyone the right to stop them from doing it. As Wayne said, fantasizing is not a predictor of future behavior. And you can't prosecute a crime that *might* happen. There is no problem about fantasies whatsoever, that is not what I am saying. But when you get two little nieces 5 & 7 saying "I saw grandad doing things" to his youngest daughter aged 13, things that they could not have possibly known about and when his computer is seized it's full of incest sites, and when he is arrested he kisses his daughter on the mouth as he is arrested and says "remember I will always love you". Oh, and his wife sleeps downstairs, suspected of colluding. He claims he bought the computer from a car boot sale in 04 and the images "must have been on it already." It isnt so. Joyce You are lovely, but now and again you do not know of what you speak. I mean, what's next? Should we be alarmed about people who write murder mysteries? After all, murder is pretty harmful. -- Joyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ |
#123
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CAT LADY WANTED
Christina Websell wrote:
There is no problem about fantasies whatsoever, that is not what I am saying. You say the above, but then you go on to cite an example where you seem say the exact opposite - that there *is* a problem with fantasies. So which are you saying? But when you get two little nieces 5 & 7 saying "I saw grandad doing things" to his youngest daughter aged 13, things that they could not have possibly known about and when his computer is seized it's full of incest sites, and when he is arrested he kisses his daughter on the mouth as he is arrested and says "remember I will always love you". Oh, and his wife sleeps downstairs, suspected of colluding. All this is horrifying, of course. But are you saying that the stuff on someone's computer is inseparable from his behavior? It's probably true that most perps do fantasize as well as act out. But is the reverse true? That people who fantasize always act out? I don't think so. That is what Wayne and I have been trying to say. Fantasy is not a predictor of future crimes, although it may be an indicator. I don't know what percentage of people who fantasize are actually hiding a bigger problem. Joyce You are lovely, but now and again you do not know of what you speak. Actually, I do. I lived with an incest survivor for 15 years, and I've known quite a few others as well. I'm quite familiar with the extreme damage it does, as well as with the dynamics that go on in families (collusion, denial, blaming the victim, etc). My views may be quite different from the vast majority of average, centrist, middle-of-the-road thinkers who hang out here. And maybe from the vantage point of the dead center, my ideas appear naive, too-trusting, uninformed or (a gem from a few years back) "misguided". But believe me, the dead center looks plenty naive, uninformed and misguided from where I sit, too. Could you disagree with me without being *quite* so patronizing? -- Joyce ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) |
#124
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VACUUMS
"hopitus" wrote in message ... On Sat 05 Jul 2008 10:25:17a, Sherry wrote in rec.pets.cats.anecdotes s. com: Kili, that's roughly what the Dyson Animal Vac is. I went vac-shopping a couple of months ago. I just can't push a tank like some of the vacs are, and I thought the Dyson was too heavy. I ended up with a Hoover Wind Tunnel (I loved my last one, but I hate this one. I picked it because it has a cool animal-hair attachment. Problem with this one is, the belt breaks too often, when the collection tank gets much cat hair in it at all, the suction isn't very good. Plus, I think it's as heavy as the Dyson. I have a friend with a Dyson who absolutely loves it and highly recommends them. So I ended up getting an Electrolux cordless vac for in-between stuff. I'll probably end up giving this Wind Tunnel away and looking at Panasonics or Orecks, simply because they're lightweight. It wears me out to push that Hoover. Vacs really get a workout here with 5 cats. I try to vacuum every- other-day for sure. Sherr The Dyson is only heavy to push if the rug is damp with humidity. I have recently discovered this. I have to add to this. I got a Bissell carpet cleaner recently and I just cleaned the carpets upstairs and even after vacuming with the Dyson it pulled up a TON of cat fur. Cheryl- Hide quoted text - Every time I empty the Dyson's collection chamber (2 little thumb- switches) right into my kitchen plastic garbage can I look at the large pile of different-colored cat fur and wish we had some market for selling it for some use or other. Today we put the leather couch cover (SureFit, washable cotton) through three "wash" cycles of the washer and in its filter were enough cat fur to build another cat, as the saying goes, all in all. Wish I had held out for the just-as-frequent-in- apts.-here "hardwood floors" I had in our first dwelling here in Mile-High. An easy sweep job there AFA floors..... Before anyone embarks on hardwood or tile or lamanate, I have just one thing to consider. "Static cling" There are no 'easy sweep jobs' When you consider flooring, go with what you like and will enjoy. There are no magical easy to clean surfaces. Jo |
#125
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VACUUMS
On Tue, 8 Jul 2008 18:35:29 -0700, "Jofirey"
wrote: Before anyone embarks on hardwood or tile or lamanate, I have just one thing to consider. "Static cling" There are no 'easy sweep jobs' When you consider flooring, go with what you like and will enjoy. There are no magical easy to clean surfaces. Jo I have laminate over all of the downstairs (nasty carpet on the stairs and upstairs bedrooms). I use a dust mop on the laminate every day and vacuum it maybe once a week. As far as I'm concerned laminate is the way to go. Nan and the furkids |
#126
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CAT LADY WANTED
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#127
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CAT LADY WANTED
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#129
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CAT LADY WANTED
wrote in message ... Christina Websell wrote: There is no problem about fantasies whatsoever, that is not what I am saying. You say the above, but then you go on to cite an example where you seem say the exact opposite - that there *is* a problem with fantasies. So which are you saying? But when you get two little nieces 5 & 7 saying "I saw grandad doing things" to his youngest daughter aged 13, things that they could not have possibly known about and when his computer is seized it's full of incest sites, and when he is arrested he kisses his daughter on the mouth as he is arrested and says "remember I will always love you". Oh, and his wife sleeps downstairs, suspected of colluding. All this is horrifying, of course. But are you saying that the stuff on someone's computer is inseparable from his behavior? Not necessarily, but it does need to be investigated if there are children in the family in case it isn't. It's probably true that most perps do fantasize as well as act out. But is the reverse true? That people who fantasize always act out? No, but the department I work for has a statutory duty to protect children so everyone who downloads suspect sites has to be looked into. I do understand where you are coming from, Joyce. Fantasies are fine, any and all really, I agree, kept in your home, but the moment those "paid for" sites are downloaded it sets things in motion. I've heard enough "tell your mother and I'll kill your baby brother", or "wait until your mum goes to the shops and I'll shoot her if you tell" to have no patience. We still get at least one person a week referring themselves sometimes 30 years later because they haven't got over sexual or physical abuse they endured in their childhood and want to alert us to their previous abuser. It took them that long to be brave enough to do it. It's a very difficult subject but if sexual fantasties spill over into child protection issues, it's a no-brainer. |
#130
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CAT LADY WANTED
Christina Websell wrote:
I do understand where you are coming from, Joyce. Fantasies are fine, any and all really, I agree, kept in your home, but the moment those "paid for" sites are downloaded it sets things in motion. I've heard enough "tell your mother and I'll kill your baby brother", or "wait until your mum goes to the shops and I'll shoot her if you tell" to have no patience. We still get at least one person a week referring themselves sometimes 30 years later because they haven't got over sexual or physical abuse they endured in their childhood and want to alert us to their previous abuser. It took them that long to be brave enough to do it. It's a very difficult subject but if sexual fantasties spill over into child protection issues, it's a no-brainer. Well, put, Christina, thanks. I think we're mostly talking about different things, although there is an area of overlap. -- Joyce ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) |
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