Aaargh - busybody neighbor! :(

tanadashoes wrote:

"Sharon" wrote in message
...
Don't let your cat outside.
***************

This is not very practical in this case. Smudge gets out no matter what.

LOL, and when she is unable to get out, she's miserable, and she makes
sure everyone within earshot is also miserable.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

Marina wrote:

I don't know what I would do, but wanted to send purrs and
don't-feed-Smudge vibes to your neighbour.

Thank you! One good thing: the neighbor also told me she would be
going out of town for a while. I think she was telling me this as a
way of warning me that Smudge would not be getting her meals from
this woman while she's away. Like, this would be a problem for me??
She really doesn't get it. And she will be back home again at some
point!

I once caught a glimpse of a little girl who was throwing something into
the enclosure, and Caliban was eagerly jumping on whatever she was
throwing and gobbling it up. The girl ran away when I came to the door.
I caught Caliban and put him inside and went to investigate. I found
some sort of cat treat (I assume) scattered on the ground. No harm came
to Caliban, but I'll admit I was really angry at that girl. I never saw
her again, though. The treats were such a disgusting bright purple
colour, I can't understand why anyone even would give that to their pet.
I could only hope Caliban didn't eat many of them.

That's gross. I can understand you being mad. She probably thought she
was doing a nice thing for the cute kitty, but how frustrating for you.
Here you are trying to train Caliban to live with less food than he would
like, and she's throwing him treats. Yucky purple treats at that! Are
you sure it was even a pet treat?

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

MaryL -out-the-litter wrote:

I don't know where you live or what your financial resources are, so this
may not be very practical. However, some people have fenced their back yard
with an extension on the top that prevents cats from escaping. Other than
keeping your cat indoors as much as possible, I don't know of any other
steps to take. You have already spoken to the neighbor (more than once),
and she sounds like someone who will ignore what you say and go right on
doing what she wants to do.

I don't have a yard - I live in an apartment building. It's in a nice
residential area where most of the homes are private homes, with a few
small apartment buildings (mine has 4 apartments). It's a quiet neighborhood
with curvy side streets and not a lot of traffic. But I don't have an
outdoor area where I could build an enclosure, unfortunately!

I might have to start forcing Smudge to stay inside until I've gotten
up and fed her. I keep a late schedule and don't get up until about
9:30 or 10 AM. When I get up to pee in the early morning (around 5),
Smudge runs to the door to go outside. If I don't wake up on my own,
she will wake me up to be let out. I don't feed her before letting her
out. That might be something I could try doing.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

wrote:

I admire directness in ng's and in RL.
Am withholding my opinion on Joyce's question.

Come on. If you'd really wanted to withhold your opinion, you wouldn't
have said anything at all. This begs for a question as to what you are
withholding. Not particularly direct, IMO.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

wrote in message
...
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

wrote:

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for
dealing
with it if it comes up again.

Is there any way you can confine Smudge to her own yard, so the neighbor
doesn't get the chance to interfere?

I don't have a yard - I live in an apartment building. I used to keep
Smudge tethered to the railing in the stairwell (the stairs to my apt.
are outdoors), so she could go down and hang out in the bushes. But
(1) she almost died when dogs attacked her and she was unable to run
away, and (2) I would never have left her like that when I wasn't home,
anyway.

I agree you don't want to antagonize your neighbor without cause, but
you are more forbearing than I. If I were in your place, once she was
aware Smudge had a home but continued feeding her, I would start talking
about forms of legal recourse, such as "restraining orders"! ;-)

I was wondering if I had any legal recourse, but I don't believe this
woman is breaking any laws, and she certainly isn't harming my cat. She's
causing more inconvenience for me than for Smudge, although I think the
food I give her is better quality. I know the woman means well, but she's
very pushy and she seems to have an attitude about me, that I'm not taking
care of Smudge properly or something. I guess in her mind, that justifies
what she's doing.

--
Joyce ^..^

Do you suppose you could get your vet to write a letter, stating that Smudge
is in good health, and that what you are feeding her is exactly what and how
much she should be fed? Maybe you could even draft such a letter, and ask
if it could be put on the vet's stationery and signed by the vet. If you
gave that to your neighbor, she wouldn't have any excuse to continue feeding
her. I don't know if this is possible, or if it would really help, but it's
the only thing I can think of.

Joy

wrote in message

I have this neighbor who seems to be convinced that I'm starving my
cat. Her concern was touching at first, but now it's just getting
annoying.

*snip*

What would you guys do about this situation? For now, I don't have to
do anything since she said she would stop again. But I have a funny
feeling this isn't over. I'd like to be ready with a strategy for
dealing with it if it comes up again.

I can see two solutions to the problem.

1) Get up that hour earlier and feed Smudge before she does (or let him free
feed), or,
2) Let the silly woman feed Smudge out of her own pocket.

For option 2, If Smudge needs a specific sort of food because of a medical
problem, then take some to the woman and explain how much he needs and when
and what will happen to him if he doesn't get that particular type of no
doubt very expensive prescription food (feel free with the 'artistic
licence' with that). Give her some of it, but not alot, so any further
feedings she will have to pay for herself (nothing is more discouraging for
most people than a large out of pocket expense for what is someone else's
problem). If Smudge doesn't need prescription food, I'd be tempted to just
let him enjoy his 'sneaky' snackings - if he doesn't get them from that
neighbour then there are no doubt other neighbours who will fall for his
poor half starving waif act. Just make it very clear to all and sundry that
Smudge is *your* cat and the poor half starved waif thing is truly just and
act and that they are under no obligation to feed him whatsoever. A collar
and tags (if he doesn't already have them) go a long way in identifying a
'wandering' cat from a 'stray'.

Despite your feelings towards the woman, Smudge is obviously OK with her and
enjoys her company, and her food! Personally, I'd trust Smudge and let him
do what he clearly enjoys. He does come home to you, after all!

Yowie
--
If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many
pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, icecream doesn't have bones.

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
wrote in message

If Smudge doesn't need prescription food, I'd be tempted to just
let him enjoy his 'sneaky' snackings - if he doesn't get them from that
neighbour then there are no doubt other neighbours who will fall for his
poor half starving waif act. Just make it very clear to all and sundry
that Smudge is *your* cat and the poor half starved waif thing is truly
just and act and that they are under no obligation to feed him whatsoever.
A collar and tags (if he doesn't already have them) go a long way in
identifying a 'wandering' cat from a 'stray'.

Despite your feelings towards the woman, Smudge is obviously OK with her
and enjoys her company, and her food! Personally, I'd trust Smudge and let
him do what he clearly enjoys. He does come home to you, after all!

Yowie
--


The problem with this solution is that we should always be aware of exactly
how much our cats are eating (not just prescription diets). This woman
probably has the best of intentions, but her actions mean that there is no
way to know what Smudge is eating or how to describe it to a vet. Here's an
example from my personal experience, but it involved a pony instead of a
cat. When I was a child, we had a Shetland pony that suddenly did not act
right. I was pretty young and don't remember all the details, but one thing
I remember is that she seemed to look a little bloated and was walking with
some stiffness. My parents had the vet come out to check her--and she had
foundered. Everyone was puzzled and distressed. They finally learned that
our neighbors had been throwing corn stalks (from their corn field) over the
fence for our ponies to enjoy. They would pick some corn and then toss some
stalks over the fence. It was a large pasture, and we didn't often get to
that back area. Here, again, the neighbors thought they were doing a good
deed but they actually caused severe physical problems. Our pony recovered,
but there were lingering effects for the rest of her life.

MaryL

wrote in message
...
I have this neighbor who seems to be convinced that I'm starving my cat.
Her concern was touching at first, but now it's just getting annoying.
A bit insulting, too.

Be very careful. You know what happened to KFC, I wouldn't like it to
happen to Smudge. You've had a warning about what your neighbour thinks, so
although it will be difficult and not ideal, I'd be inclined to keep Smudge
inside for now.

Tweed

About a month ago, a neighbor of mine came over to my house to inform
me that Smudge has been getting fed by several neighbors, including
herself, and she seemed extremely hungry. [...]
I told my neighbor about this, and I asked her to stop feeding Smudge
so I could control what she ate. For one thing, I get very good food
for my cats - Wellness brand canned food, which has almost no grains,
no additives, junk fillers, etc. It's healthy food.

Maybe the neighbour might get the point if you offered her a supply
of the food you give Smudge, so if she was going to feed her at all
she'd get what was appropriate?

(I doubt she'd actually take you up on it; the point is the implicit
message).

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wrote in message
...
I have this neighbor who seems to be convinced that I'm starving my
cat.
Her concern was touching at first, but now it's just getting
annoying.
A bit insulting, too.

If you've followed my story about Smudge conning the neighbors out
of
food and treats,

In a perfect world you wouldn't have to deal with this.

As I see it there are three unsuitable options.

1. Keep Smudge in.

2. Convince others not to feed him when her when she is out.

3. Live with it.

You might have some success in convincing her that if Smudge isn't
coming home for breakfast, she isn't getting the aspirin she needs.
Or not. Heaven forbid she get into her head to try to give Smudge
aspirin herself.

Sounds like, like it or not, you may be stuck with 'accept the things
you cannot change'

Jo