[OT]ish. Kinda rambling, philosophical, bleh

The wheel turns, and I find myself look down the barrel at being 40. Those
of you who have long past this significant milestone will no doubt throw
back your heads and laugh 'why, young lady, you are just a pup, a whelping,
a mere whipper snapper", but actually, I am into the second phase of
womanhood - the mother - and I have no clue as to what the young kids (well,
they're 18-20) are talking about at work anymore. And more the the point, I
no longer care that I don't have a clue what they are talking about.

Being this close to forty also means that most of my friends are within a
few years of forty, either way. Most have been married or at least
long-term-committed-relationship for a good 10 years or so, most have kids
(and if not kids, then furkids), and a mortgage.

But what 10 years of marriage (or close enough) seems to bring is also The
Split. This year, I've watched three couples in our once close social circle
split. The social circle is dividing up as to who is friends with who as the
splits have not been particularly amicable, and it seems impossible to
remain friends with both and still have the same BBQ's, outings, parties and
all the other fun stuff we used to do when we were - well - kids (not even
going to start on how easy it is to get a hangover these days).

This I guess is life. Perhaps its better that people divorce now rather than
live in a poisonous relationship. I don't know. I was considering divorce
myself not that long ago, until the DH finally got onto the sanity keeping
meds he (and I) so desperately need him to take.

The kids are growing up, and 'big school' is looming. We've already been
warned that *none* of the subjects are taught the same way we were taught,
math in particular has a whole different way of doing anything more
complicated than times tables.

Life jsut seems to be wooshing by, and I am just sitting - virtually chained
by circusmtance - here at my desk (at work), under a whole pile of paperwork
that means nothing to no-one except those higher up the chain who get paid
more than me to shuffle the same bits of paper that I give them once I've
finsihed my shuffle. I can't get up any enthusiasm for this. Having been
booted out of a quiet, private office with a view of a garden and the ocean
where I could just shut the door and a have a few quiet privat emoments when
Ineeded to a shared office that is incredibly noisey, has no privacy at all
and has a view of a brick wall (and where no plant seems to be able to
survive) I feel stagnant, suffocating, drowning.

I don't know whether the looming brithday next year is the cause, the news
of the 3rd set of friends busting up, or just the pile of dreary souless
work on my desk, the general economic gloom everyone has, or its jsut
getting around to That Time of Year again, but today, I am finding myself
feeling old and world weary.

Hopefully, I'll get home and my boy - who is far more in touch with the Real
world than I am - can help show me some of that everyday magic I seem to be
missing.

Yowie
--
"because its more fun to be evil" - Jarppi, _The Dudesons_

I'm top posting as I don't want to cut into what is one of the best
descriptions of what it was like when I turned 40 mumble mumble years ago.

Positive things about turning 40:

1. You no longer have to please everyone.
2. Most of your friends are in the same shape as you.
3. You've impressed everyone you're going to in your age group and you are
now a mentor to the younger set.
4. No one expects you to be a Barbie doll any more.
5. You can release your inner Maxine.
6. You can ignore all the crappy advice you'll get from all the others who
have been there and done that.

Pam S. BTDT

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
The wheel turns, and I find myself look down the barrel at being 40. Those
of you who have long past this significant milestone will no doubt throw
back your heads and laugh 'why, young lady, you are just a pup, a
whelping, a mere whipper snapper", but actually, I am into the second
phase of womanhood - the mother - and I have no clue as to what the young
kids (well, they're 18-20) are talking about at work anymore. And more the
the point, I no longer care that I don't have a clue what they are talking
about.

Being this close to forty also means that most of my friends are within
a few years of forty, either way. Most have been married or at least
long-term-committed-relationship for a good 10 years or so, most have kids
(and if not kids, then furkids), and a mortgage.

But what 10 years of marriage (or close enough) seems to bring is also The
Split. This year, I've watched three couples in our once close social
circle split. The social circle is dividing up as to who is friends with
who as the splits have not been particularly amicable, and it seems
impossible to remain friends with both and still have the same BBQ's,
outings, parties and all the other fun stuff we used to do when we were -
well - kids (not even going to start on how easy it is to get a hangover
these days).

This I guess is life. Perhaps its better that people divorce now rather
than live in a poisonous relationship. I don't know. I was considering
divorce myself not that long ago, until the DH finally got onto the sanity
keeping meds he (and I) so desperately need him to take.

The kids are growing up, and 'big school' is looming. We've already been
warned that *none* of the subjects are taught the same way we were taught,
math in particular has a whole different way of doing anything more
complicated than times tables.

Life jsut seems to be wooshing by, and I am just sitting - virtually
chained by circusmtance - here at my desk (at work), under a whole pile of
paperwork that means nothing to no-one except those higher up the chain
who get paid more than me to shuffle the same bits of paper that I give
them once I've finsihed my shuffle. I can't get up any enthusiasm for
this. Having been booted out of a quiet, private office with a view of a
garden and the ocean where I could just shut the door and a have a few
quiet privat emoments when Ineeded to a shared office that is incredibly
noisey, has no privacy at all and has a view of a brick wall (and where no
plant seems to be able to survive) I feel stagnant, suffocating, drowning.

I don't know whether the looming brithday next year is the cause, the news
of the 3rd set of friends busting up, or just the pile of dreary souless
work on my desk, the general economic gloom everyone has, or its jsut
getting around to That Time of Year again, but today, I am finding myself
feeling old and world weary.

Hopefully, I'll get home and my boy - who is far more in touch with the
Real world than I am - can help show me some of that everyday magic I seem
to be missing.

Yowie
--
"because its more fun to be evil" - Jarppi, _The Dudesons_

On Nov 19, 9:35�pm, "Yowie" wrote:
The wheel turns, and I find myself look down the barrel at being 40. Those
of you who have long past this significant milestone will no doubt throw
back your heads and laugh 'why, young lady, you are just a pup, a whelping,
a mere whipper snapper", but actually, I am into the second phase of
womanhood - the mother - and I have no clue as to what the young kids (well,
they're 18-20) are talking about at work anymore. And more the the point, I
no longer care that I don't have a clue what they are talking about.

Being this close to forty also means that most of my friends are within a
few years of forty, either way. Most have been married or at least
long-term-committed-relationship for a good 10 years or so, most have kids
(and if not kids, then furkids), and a mortgage.

But what 10 years of marriage (or close enough) seems to bring is also The
Split. This year, I've watched three couples in our once close social circle
split. The social circle is dividing up as to who is friends with who as the
splits have not been particularly amicable, and it seems impossible to
remain friends with both and still have the same BBQ's, outings, parties and
all the other fun stuff we used to do when we were - well - kids (not even
going to start on how easy it is to get a hangover these days).

This I guess is life. Perhaps its better that people divorce now rather than
live in a poisonous relationship. I don't know. I was considering divorce
myself not that long ago, until the DH finally got onto the sanity keeping
meds he (and I) so desperately need him to take.

The kids are growing up, and 'big school' is looming. We've already been
warned that *none* of the subjects are taught the same way we were taught,
math in particular has a whole different way of doing anything more
complicated than times tables.

Life jsut seems to be wooshing by, and I am just sitting - virtually chained
by circusmtance - here at my desk (at work), under a whole pile of paperwork
that means nothing to no-one except those higher up the chain who get paid
more than me to shuffle the same bits of paper that I give them once I've
finsihed my shuffle. I can't get up any enthusiasm for this. Having been
booted out of a quiet, private office with a view of a garden and the ocean
where I could just shut the door and a have a few quiet privat emoments when
Ineeded to a shared office that is incredibly noisey, has no privacy at all
and has a view of a brick wall (and where no plant seems to be able to
survive) I feel stagnant, suffocating, drowning.

I don't know whether the looming brithday next year is the cause, the news
of the 3rd set of friends busting up, or just the pile of dreary souless
work on my desk, the general economic gloom everyone has, or its jsut
getting around to That Time of Year again, but today, I am finding myself
feeling old and world weary.

Hopefully, I'll get home and my boy - who is far more in touch with the Real
world than I am - can help show me some of that everyday magic I seem to be
missing.

Yowie
--
"because its more fun to be evil" - Jarppi, _The Dudesons_

(((((((Yowie)))))))))))
Your post was very touching, and very familiar. I think what you're
feeling is
very normal (and it's temporary, I'm quite sure).
I think there are stages in life. For me, it's the period before I
married, stage 1; young struggling
childless couple, stage 2; then the frenetic (still struggling) years
raising kids, stage 3; and now,
retirement. I personally think the 40's were the "best of times, and
the worst of times." It's no
wonder that meloncholy sets in occasionally. You're just crazy-busy
with work, kids, family, home.
It's a real transitional period--and for me, it was also
the period when we watched our friends split. And I smiled at
remembering when I realized I
was no longer hip to the latest trends and music of the 20s set. But I
was an expert on
all things preschool! Then my kids turned into teenagers, and I
learned it all again...and even
liked some of it!
You're on the right track though--let Carey keep you grounded to
what's important.
BTW, you're very gifted at putting your emotions into words, do you
journal? I think that
helps.
Second BTW, I love being 50+....and I wouldn't be 20 again for
anything (unless I could
have the proverbial age with wisdom)
Sherry

Sherry wrote:
On Nov 19, 9:35?pm, "Yowie" wrote:

snip me moaning about nothing

BTW, you're very gifted at putting your emotions into words, do you
journal? I think that
helps.

Of course I journal, you just read it :-)

Second BTW, I love being 50+....and I wouldn't be 20 again for
anything (unless I could
have the proverbial age with wisdom)

I'll take my 20 year old physical self that had energy and firm jiggly bits
rather than saggy flapping bits, but wouldn't trade the knowledge & wisdom
and the particular brand of insanity that means I know I am insane and thats
just fine by me for anything.

Thanks for letting me vent, guys. Appreciate it. Even more so, thanyou for
the sympathetic ear. I really have nothing to moan about, just have the
blahs today (wonder where my 'cycle' is. looks nods head Figures. Stupid
hormones)
--
"because its more fun to be evil" - Jarppi, _The Dudesons_

On Nov 19, 10:42�pm, "Yowie"
wrote:
Sherry wrote:
On Nov 19, 9:35?pm, "Yowie" wrote:

snip me moaning about nothing

BTW, you're very gifted at putting your emotions into words, do you
journal? I think that
helps.

Of course I journal, you just read it :-)

Second BTW, I love being 50+....and I wouldn't be 20 again for
anything (unless I could
have the proverbial age with wisdom)

I'll take my 20 year old physical self that had energy and firm jiggly bits
rather than saggy flapping bits, but wouldn't trade the knowledge & wisdom
and the particular brand of insanity that means I know I am insane and thats
just fine by me for anything.

Thanks for letting me vent, guys. Appreciate it. Even more so, thanyou for
the sympathetic ear. I really have nothing to moan about, just have the
blahs today (wonder where my 'cycle' is. looks nods head Figures. Stupid
hormones)
--
"because its more fun to be evil" - Jarppi, _The Dudesons_

You're welcome! Now can I have a turn?
You're in the stage where all your friends are splitting up. I am in
the
stage where all my friends are getting plastic surgery and Botox.
I so don't like this, it is very unnerving and disturbing to me, (and
none of
my business, I'll admit).
I also admit I don't get it, I would never have it done because I kind
of like my
face the way it is, and I don't want a different face suddenly
appearing in the mirror.
My face is familiar, and it's comfortable, and I already admitted I
don't like change.
But I totally understand the reasons they're doing it. It makes them
feel better
about themselves, gives them more confidence and makes them happy.
That part I'l all about.
One in particular, was a radical change. And you never know whether
you're supposed to comment
on it or not, I just say "You look great!"....but inside I'm thinking,
"I liked your old face better. I knew
it, and was comfortable with it. I want to talk to your old face. This
is too weird." After a couple of weeks I get used to it, but
it IS unnerving to see a 60-year-old woman suddenly have a face as
smooth as a baby's butt.
snicker The mean side of me thinks, "You can't fool anybody with
those saggy elbows, girlfriend.
Why don't people have elbow jobs too?


Sherry

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Sherry wrote:
On Nov 19, 9:35?pm, "Yowie"
wrote:

snip me moaning about nothing

BTW, you're very gifted at putting your emotions into words, do you
journal? I think that
helps.

Of course I journal, you just read it :-)

Second BTW, I love being 50+....and I wouldn't be 20 again for
anything (unless I could
have the proverbial age with wisdom)

I'll take my 20 year old physical self that had energy and firm
jiggly bits rather than saggy flapping bits, but wouldn't trade the
knowledge & wisdom and the particular brand of insanity that means I
know I am insane and thats just fine by me for anything.

Thanks for letting me vent, guys. Appreciate it. Even more so,
thanyou for the sympathetic ear. I really have nothing to moan
about, just have the blahs today (wonder where my 'cycle' is.
looks nods head Figures. Stupid hormones)

Takes a while, but eventually age deals with those for you too.

I have no advice as to how to deal with close friends splitting up.
They have a tendency to cause unrest in your own relationships no
matter how you handle it.

I wouldn't be me at twenty again for the world. And I quite enjoyed
being twenty.

BTW the hangovers aren't so bad once the kids get older. Its the
combination of hangovers and four years olds that is close to fatal.
Back when we could sleep until noon or whenever they mostly wore off
before breakfast.

Now is a good time to really learn to take the satisfaction in your
life where you can find it. Sometimes work is OK and sometimes its no
more than a necessary evil. Sometimes its just a plan or a place or
an idea that gets you through.

Main thing I hated about forty was at forty you are for better or
worse, one of the grown-ups.

Jo

On Nov 19, 11:03�pm, "Jofirey" wrote:
"Yowie" wrote in message

...





Sherry wrote:
On Nov 19, 9:35?pm, "Yowie"
wrote:

snip me moaning about nothing

BTW, you're very gifted at putting your emotions into words, do you
journal? I think that
helps.

Of course I journal, you just read it :-)

Second BTW, I love being 50+....and I wouldn't be 20 again for
anything (unless I could
have the proverbial age with wisdom)

I'll take my 20 year old physical self that had energy and firm
jiggly bits rather than saggy flapping bits, but wouldn't trade the
knowledge & wisdom and the particular brand of insanity that means I
know I am insane and thats just fine by me for anything.

Thanks for letting me vent, guys. Appreciate it. Even more so,
thanyou for the sympathetic ear. I really have nothing to moan
about, just have the blahs today (wonder where my 'cycle' is.
looks nods head Figures. Stupid hormones)

Takes a while, but eventually age deals with those for you too.

I have no advice as to how to deal with close friends splitting up.
They have a tendency to cause unrest in your own relationships no
matter how you handle it.

I wouldn't be me at twenty again for the world. �And I quite enjoyed
being twenty.

BTW the hangovers aren't so bad once the kids get older. �Its the
combination of hangovers and four years olds that is close to fatal.
Back when we could sleep until noon or whenever they mostly wore off
before breakfast.

Now is a good time to really learn to take the satisfaction in your
life where you can find it. �Sometimes work is OK and sometimes its no
more than a necessary evil. �Sometimes its just a plan or a place or
an idea that gets you through.

Main thing I hated about forty was at forty you are for better or
worse, one of the grown-ups.

Jo- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Yes, the old saying is "It's the age when your parents stop forgiving
you for the stupid
things you do because you're too young to know better."

Sherry

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
The wheel turns, and I find myself look down the barrel at being 40. Those
of you who have long past this significant milestone will no doubt throw
back your heads and laugh 'why, young lady, you are just a pup, a
whelping, a mere whipper snapper", but actually, I am into the second
phase of womanhood - the mother - and I have no clue as to what the young
kids (well, they're 18-20) are talking about at work anymore. And more the
the point, I no longer care that I don't have a clue what they are talking
about.

Being this close to forty also means that most of my friends are within
a few years of forty, either way. Most have been married or at least
long-term-committed-relationship for a good 10 years or so, most have kids
(and if not kids, then furkids), and a mortgage.

But what 10 years of marriage (or close enough) seems to bring is also The
Split. This year, I've watched three couples in our once close social
circle split. The social circle is dividing up as to who is friends with
who as the splits have not been particularly amicable, and it seems
impossible to remain friends with both and still have the same BBQ's,
outings, parties and all the other fun stuff we used to do when we were -
well - kids (not even going to start on how easy it is to get a hangover
these days).

This I guess is life. Perhaps its better that people divorce now rather
than live in a poisonous relationship. I don't know. I was considering
divorce myself not that long ago, until the DH finally got onto the sanity
keeping meds he (and I) so desperately need him to take.

The kids are growing up, and 'big school' is looming. We've already been
warned that *none* of the subjects are taught the same way we were taught,
math in particular has a whole different way of doing anything more
complicated than times tables.

Life jsut seems to be wooshing by, and I am just sitting - virtually
chained by circusmtance - here at my desk (at work), under a whole pile of
paperwork that means nothing to no-one except those higher up the chain
who get paid more than me to shuffle the same bits of paper that I give
them once I've finsihed my shuffle. I can't get up any enthusiasm for
this. Having been booted out of a quiet, private office with a view of a
garden and the ocean where I could just shut the door and a have a few
quiet privat emoments when Ineeded to a shared office that is incredibly
noisey, has no privacy at all and has a view of a brick wall (and where no
plant seems to be able to survive) I feel stagnant, suffocating, drowning.

I don't know whether the looming brithday next year is the cause, the news
of the 3rd set of friends busting up, or just the pile of dreary souless
work on my desk, the general economic gloom everyone has, or its jsut
getting around to That Time of Year again, but today, I am finding myself
feeling old and world weary.

Hopefully, I'll get home and my boy - who is far more in touch with the
Real world than I am - can help show me some of that everyday magic I seem
to be missing.

Yowie

Hugs and purrs, Yowie. You seem to be in need of both right now.

Joy

On Nov 19, 10:35*pm, "Yowie"
wrote:

I don't know whether the looming brithday next year is the cause, the news
of the 3rd set of friends busting up, or just the pile of dreary souless
work on my desk, the general economic gloom everyone has, or its jsut
getting around to That Time of Year again, but today, I am finding myself
feeling old and world weary.

Hopefully, I'll get home and my boy - who is far more in touch with the Real
world than I am - can help show me some of that everyday magic I seem to be
missing.

Yowie


We all feel that way, Yowie, trust me. However, rather than looking
at the things I *don't*
have, I'm looking at the things I *do* have, at 49.

The GOOD genes. I just wrote to my father the other week and thanked
him for the good
genes. I'm 49, and I can still bend and turn and walk. Most of my
friends can't. They're
on canes and walkers or recovering from joint replacement surgery. I
can still climb
stairs. They can't. One friend is in a rehab hospital after being hit
by a car two weeks ago.
Her mobility is going to be severely compromised after this.
(Remember, I hang out with
the fat-acceptance crowd, so most of my friends are in the 200-400-lb
range) I have a job
where I have to walk at least a mile a day (half of that uphill!), and
after feeling miserable
for 3 weeks, I'm able to do it.

A brain that still works. I have a degree, and a good profession.
Yes, I hate my current job,
but I'm looking around, and at least for now I *have* a job that pays
the bills, in this sucky
economy. I'm one month post-bankruptcy, and I'm not struggling to pay
my bills, thanks
to a good lawyer.

My car runs. I totalled my last car, but managed to find a good used
one for the cost of
my last car's settlement. I have good mechanics who help me keep the
car running. (and
I can afford them, thanks to the aforementioned job).

Nieces who love me to death. 9 year old twins. I'm going to see them
for Thanksgiving.
One of them has a severe health problem that her family has been
dealing with for most
of her life.

And of course, the ever-present Princess Rita, who wants me to give up
this silly working and
cooking and sewing and just sit on the couch and pet her all the time,
well, except for when
I'm feeding her or scooping her box. She Who Knows that breakfast has
to come at 3am so
she climbs up to sit on my shoulder and meow at me, only to be growled
at, so she has to
pat my cheek gently with her paw, claws extended. She almost got her
paw stuck with a sewing
machine needle because she was watching me sew and wanted to play with
the shiny metal
thing moving up and down, and almost gave me a heart attack when I
thought of the possibilities.

Make a list, Yowie. It'll make you feel better. It always works for
me.
And of course, you can always talk to us. That's what we're here for.

Jane
- owned and operated by the Princess Rita

"Joy" wrote in message
...
"Yowie" wrote in message
...
The wheel turns, and I find myself look down the barrel at being 40.
Those of you who have long past this significant milestone will no doubt
throw back your heads and laugh 'why, young lady, you are just a pup, a
whelping, a mere whipper snapper", but actually, I am into the second
phase of womanhood - the mother - and I have no clue as to what the young
kids (well, they're 18-20) are talking about at work anymore. And more
the the point, I no longer care that I don't have a clue what they are
talking about.

Being this close to forty also means that most of my friends are
within a few years of forty, either way. Most have been married or at
least long-term-committed-relationship for a good 10 years or so, most
have kids (and if not kids, then furkids), and a mortgage.

But what 10 years of marriage (or close enough) seems to bring is also
The Split. This year, I've watched three couples in our once close social
circle split. The social circle is dividing up as to who is friends with
who as the splits have not been particularly amicable, and it seems
impossible to remain friends with both and still have the same BBQ's,
outings, parties and all the other fun stuff we used to do when we were -
well - kids (not even going to start on how easy it is to get a hangover
these days).

This I guess is life. Perhaps its better that people divorce now rather
than live in a poisonous relationship. I don't know. I was considering
divorce myself not that long ago, until the DH finally got onto the
sanity keeping meds he (and I) so desperately need him to take.

The kids are growing up, and 'big school' is looming. We've already been
warned that *none* of the subjects are taught the same way we were
taught, math in particular has a whole different way of doing anything
more complicated than times tables.

Life jsut seems to be wooshing by, and I am just sitting - virtually
chained by circusmtance - here at my desk (at work), under a whole pile
of paperwork that means nothing to no-one except those higher up the
chain who get paid more than me to shuffle the same bits of paper that I
give them once I've finsihed my shuffle. I can't get up any enthusiasm
for this. Having been booted out of a quiet, private office with a view
of a garden and the ocean where I could just shut the door and a have a
few quiet privat emoments when Ineeded to a shared office that is
incredibly noisey, has no privacy at all and has a view of a brick wall
(and where no plant seems to be able to survive) I feel stagnant,
suffocating, drowning.

I don't know whether the looming brithday next year is the cause, the
news of the 3rd set of friends busting up, or just the pile of dreary
souless work on my desk, the general economic gloom everyone has, or its
jsut getting around to That Time of Year again, but today, I am finding
myself feeling old and world weary.

Hopefully, I'll get home and my boy - who is far more in touch with the
Real world than I am - can help show me some of that everyday magic I
seem to be missing.

Yowie

Hugs and purrs, Yowie. You seem to be in need of both right now.

Joy
Purrs Yowie, Turning forty is not as bad as turning seventy plus.
Different sorts of gloom are prevalent i.e.friends dying of different ageing
diseases, heart attacks, strokes (I have experience personally with this
one), dementia and so on. I guess I am saying that all stages of life have
their bad times. I find myself thinking about stuff like who will look
after the cats if we both snuff it, who will we look after the big garden if
we can't manage it, er, what are the local rest homes like. And who would
have thought that I am not nearly as keen on travel as I was, too many
stairs for creaking legs, will I have a blood clot from sitting on planes
too long, you get the picture. I have countered this gloom problem myself
by starting out on a new
venture. I am half way through writing a new novel called "Ghost Pirates
of Dolphin Bay". It is many years since I wrote anything but I am loving
this. It is full of excitement, pirates, ghosts and dinosaurs.

Bev