Taking Down The Tree With Mommy

In fond memory of Dave...


Cast of Characters:

Sammy - 9-month-old female kitten
Jessie - 5-year-old female cat
Mommy - MUCH older female human

Mommy walks through the sitting room, looks at the Christmas tree
(bedraggled, drooping, denuded, and besieged - much worse the wear because
of Sammy), and sighs. It is time to take the decorations off and let the
poor tree die in peace. Mommy walks over to the settee and sits down for a
few last minutes of tree-gazing.

Jessie runs into the room with Sammy hot on her heels. Mommy watches in
amazement as Jessie zips past the Christmas tree, making a last-minute 90
degree turn to avoid crashing into the tree. Sammy, 10 pounds heavier and
kitten clumsier than Jessie, does not manage the turn and runs head first
into the tree. Mommy notices Jessie sitting next to the settee and watching
Mommy for a reaction. No, it couldn't be!

Was Jessie deliberately trying to get Sammy in trouble? When Mommy doesn't
react to Sammy crashing into the tree, Jessie runs back out of the room
chased by Sammy. A few minutes later, the performance is repeated. It's
true! Jessie *is* deliberately trying to get Sammy in trouble. Mommy
raises an eyebrow and looks at Jessie speculatively. Hmmmmm.

Mommy goes into her office and pulls out the big box that contains all the
littler boxes that hold the ornaments and lights and brings it into the
sitting room. Mommy unpacks the littler boxes, spreading them over the
coffee table, settee and floor. Then mommy starts gently taking the
ornaments off the tree and packing them into their respective boxes.

After the first box is filled Mommy glances over in time to see Sammy jump
over the rim of the large, now empty, box. Sammy is inside the large box
for a fraction of a second when Mommy sees her levitate about three feet
over the rim of the box, running in mid air like Wile E. Coyote after the
roadrunner tricks him into falling off a cliff, and then scrambling out of
the box.

Mommy walks over and peers into the box to see Jessie sitting inside
grinning in triumph. Mommy smiles to herself thinking that it's about time
Sammy got back some of her own, then goes back to taking the ornaments off
the tree. As Mommy sticks her hand deep into a branch to pluck off an
ornament she feels five claws sinking into the soft flesh between thumb and
forefinger and yells, "SAMMY! You little %$%$#! How many times have I told
you to *STAY OUT OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE*!!!" Sammy smiles to herself
thinking that it's about time Mommy got back some of Sammy's own.

Sammy is so tickled at having "gotcha"'d Mommy that she decides to have
another go at big sister Jessie. Sammy runs over to the big box and jumps
inside again. Mommy hears a short sharp "MRRP" and sees Sammy levitate
above the box and scramble out again. Sammy spends a few minutes circling
the box. Every few rotations she pauses to bite the corner of the box and
curse at Jessie. Mommy smiles to herself and thinks about how lucky tiny
little 4 pound Jessie is that Sammy still thinks of her as her "big" sister.
At the moment Mommy just feels grateful that Jessie is keeping Sammy
occupied while Mommy takes down the Christmas tree ornaments.

Mommy has almost completely filled the little boxes with ornaments and is
walking back to the tree to get the last few ornaments when she sees a
streak of black and grey out of the corner of her eye. Mommy turns her head
to see Sammy running flat out into the sitting room. Mommy glances over at
all the ornaments, neatly resting in their boxes, which are not yet lidded,
all spread out over the coffee table, settee, and floor.

Mommy glances back at Sammy and calculates Sammy's trajectory as ending on
the settee in the middle of Mommy's beautiful glass ornaments. Time starts
to slow down as Mommy begins to run an interception course. Sammy seems to
float through the air in the middle of a bounding leap. Mommy's voice
deepens as time slows even more.
"Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo," Mommy cries, running in
slow motions across the sitting room floor. In her slow motion haste Mommy
has failed to notice her foot landing on a box full of ornaments. As
ornaments crunch under and into Mommy's foot, the box slides across the
floor and Mommy begins to fall backwards.

Mommy's arms are flailing wildly as time all at once speeds up to twice
normal. Mommy lands on her backside with a thump as her bloody feet shoot
out from under her. Mommy's head bounces up off the carpet in time for her
to see Sammy landing in the middle of the settee and boxes of ornaments
flying out from under her. More crunching is heard as the boxes land on top
the other boxes on the floor and coffee table.

Mommy feels someone watching her and looks over to see Jessie peering out
over the top of the big box and grinning at her. Hmmmmm. Mommy doesn't
know how, but thinks that somehow Jessie has had a hand, er, paw in this
fiasco.

Mommy picks her way quickly through the broken glass on the floor in order
to grab up Sammy before Sammy cuts her little paws on Mommy's broken
ornaments. Sammy thinks this is a fun new game Mommy has invented for her
and leaps away just as Mommy leans over to grab her. Mommy, trying to avoid
stepping on more ornaments, overbalances and topples over onto the boxes of
unbroken ornaments that remain on the settee. More crunching ensues as
Mommy sighs and bleeds a bit more.

Oh well, Mommy thinks, that's fewer ornaments she has to pack away and she
tries to remember how much she enjoys buying new ornaments for the tree
every Christmas. Sigh. Mommy begins picking up the broken ornaments as
Sammy darts back out of the room, pausing to take a swipe at Jessie's fun
new box on her way out.

Mommy walks over to the large box, scoops Jessie out and gently places her
on the sitting room floor. Sammy comes back into the room in time to sing,
"Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah" at Jessie's comeuppance. Jessie runs out of the
room, pausing to take a swipe at Sammy's head on her way out.

Mommy places her pitifully few boxes of unbroken ornaments into the large
box and walks over to the tree to start unstringing the popcorn garland.
Mommy is amazed at how little popcorn is left on the string. Someone has
been doing quite a bit of snacking while resting in the branches of Mommy's
Christmas tree! It's no surprise that Sammy has gained more than a pound
over the holidays!!

Mommy wraps the store-bought garland back on its cardboard holders and
begins unstringing the lights from the tree. Feeling a familiar tug, Mommy
looks down to see Sammy wrestling with the dangling string of lights and
quickly grabs up the strand before Sammy can cut her mouth on a broken bulb.
Mommy feels another tug on the strand of lights, but this time from the
direction of the tree. Hey, wait a minute, Sammy is still on the floor.
Mommy peers into the tree in time to see a streak of patchy orange, white,
brown and gray fur disappearing deeper into the branches. AHA! It seems
that Sammy was not the only kitty availing herself of a real live tree
rather than a carpet-covered imitation!!

Mommy starts to shake the tree trying to get Jessie to jump down. Mommy has
forgotten that the tree is sitting in a tree stand full of sappy water,
covered by a cheaply red stained, furry, tree stand cover. Mommy is going
to have to live with a red ring in the middle of the sitting room carpet
until it is time to put the next Christmas tree over that spot.

Sammy decides to get in on this fun new game and jumps into the tree to join
Jessie in taunting Mommy. The tree, overburdened by a very hefty kitten,
starts to topple over onto the sitting room floor. Mommy is having
flashbacks of her tree trimming trauma, TTT, better known as classic post
Sammy shock syndrome, as she watches the tree falling and two cats jumping
to safety.

Mommy looks at the tangled strands of Christmas tree lights on the red
stained carpet, the toppled tree, the tangled garland that Jessie and Sammy
are playing tug-o-war with, and the almost empty box of ornaments. Mommy sig
hs as she struggles to detach the tree stand from the toppled tree. The
shims she sawed off and placed around the trunk of the tree are jammed
pretty tightly into the stand. Mommy tugs harder and says bad words. Sammy
and Jessie have lost interest in the shredded garland and are sitting on the
floor singing, "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah," at Mommy.

Mommy grinds her teeth and tugs even harder on the tree stand. Abruptly,
the stand gives way and Mommy goes flying backwards, trips over her
treadmill, and falls on her backside while banging the tree stand into her
forehead and splashing the remaining sappy water up her nose. Mommy flings
the offending tree stand away from her, but in her anger miscalculates the
strength of her toss. The metal tree stand goes flying across the sitting
room and crashes into the window, breaking two of the bottom panes. The
weatherman has predicted a hard freeze tonight. Sigh.

Finally the half dead tree has been dragged out to the curb, the half empty
box of decorations has been stored in the closet in Mommy's office, the half
stained carpet has been half dried, the half heated house has been half
cleaned, and the half insane Mommy has given a half hearted attempt at some
peace and quiet while the two halves of the dynamic duo of Jessie and Sammy
are half asleep from their efforts of helping Mommy take down the Christmas
tree.

Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy".

Hugs,

CatNipped

CatNipped wrote:
In fond memory of Dave...


Cast of Characters:

Sammy - 9-month-old female kitten
Jessie - 5-year-old female cat
Mommy - MUCH older female human

Mommy walks through the sitting room, looks at the Christmas tree
(bedraggled, drooping, denuded, and besieged - much worse the wear
because of Sammy), and sighs. It is time to take the decorations off
and let the poor tree die in peace. Mommy walks over to the settee
and sits down for a few last minutes of tree-gazing.

Jessie runs into the room with Sammy hot on her heels. Mommy watches
in amazement as Jessie zips past the Christmas tree, making a
last-minute 90 degree turn to avoid crashing into the tree. Sammy,
10 pounds heavier and kitten clumsier than Jessie, does not manage
the turn and runs head first into the tree. Mommy notices Jessie
sitting next to the settee and watching Mommy for a reaction. No, it
couldn't be!

Was Jessie deliberately trying to get Sammy in trouble? When Mommy
doesn't react to Sammy crashing into the tree, Jessie runs back out
of the room chased by Sammy. A few minutes later, the performance is
repeated. It's true! Jessie *is* deliberately trying to get Sammy
in trouble. Mommy raises an eyebrow and looks at Jessie
speculatively. Hmmmmm.

Mommy goes into her office and pulls out the big box that contains
all the littler boxes that hold the ornaments and lights and brings
it into the sitting room. Mommy unpacks the littler boxes, spreading
them over the coffee table, settee and floor. Then mommy starts
gently taking the ornaments off the tree and packing them into their
respective boxes.

After the first box is filled Mommy glances over in time to see Sammy
jump over the rim of the large, now empty, box. Sammy is inside the
large box for a fraction of a second when Mommy sees her levitate
about three feet over the rim of the box, running in mid air like
Wile E. Coyote after the roadrunner tricks him into falling off a
cliff, and then scrambling out of the box.

Mommy walks over and peers into the box to see Jessie sitting inside
grinning in triumph. Mommy smiles to herself thinking that it's
about time Sammy got back some of her own, then goes back to taking
the ornaments off the tree. As Mommy sticks her hand deep into a
branch to pluck off an ornament she feels five claws sinking into the
soft flesh between thumb and forefinger and yells, "SAMMY! You
little %$%$#! How many times have I told you to *STAY OUT OF THE
CHRISTMAS TREE*!!!" Sammy smiles to herself thinking that it's about
time Mommy got back some of Sammy's own.

Sammy is so tickled at having "gotcha"'d Mommy that she decides to
have another go at big sister Jessie. Sammy runs over to the big box
and jumps inside again. Mommy hears a short sharp "MRRP" and sees
Sammy levitate above the box and scramble out again. Sammy spends a
few minutes circling the box. Every few rotations she pauses to bite
the corner of the box and curse at Jessie. Mommy smiles to herself
and thinks about how lucky tiny little 4 pound Jessie is that Sammy
still thinks of her as her "big" sister. At the moment Mommy just
feels grateful that Jessie is keeping Sammy occupied while Mommy
takes down the Christmas tree ornaments.

Mommy has almost completely filled the little boxes with ornaments
and is walking back to the tree to get the last few ornaments when
she sees a streak of black and grey out of the corner of her eye.
Mommy turns her head to see Sammy running flat out into the sitting
room. Mommy glances over at all the ornaments, neatly resting in
their boxes, which are not yet lidded, all spread out over the coffee
table, settee, and floor.

Mommy glances back at Sammy and calculates Sammy's trajectory as
ending on the settee in the middle of Mommy's beautiful glass
ornaments. Time starts to slow down as Mommy begins to run an
interception course. Sammy seems to float through the air in the
middle of a bounding leap. Mommy's voice deepens as time slows even
more. "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo," Mommy cries,
running in slow motions across the sitting room floor. In her slow
motion haste Mommy has failed to notice her foot landing on a box
full of ornaments. As ornaments crunch under and into Mommy's foot,
the box slides across the floor and Mommy begins to fall backwards.

Mommy's arms are flailing wildly as time all at once speeds up to
twice normal. Mommy lands on her backside with a thump as her bloody
feet shoot out from under her. Mommy's head bounces up off the
carpet in time for her to see Sammy landing in the middle of the
settee and boxes of ornaments flying out from under her. More
crunching is heard as the boxes land on top the other boxes on the
floor and coffee table.

Mommy feels someone watching her and looks over to see Jessie peering
out over the top of the big box and grinning at her. Hmmmmm. Mommy
doesn't know how, but thinks that somehow Jessie has had a hand, er,
paw in this fiasco.

Mommy picks her way quickly through the broken glass on the floor in
order to grab up Sammy before Sammy cuts her little paws on Mommy's
broken ornaments. Sammy thinks this is a fun new game Mommy has
invented for her and leaps away just as Mommy leans over to grab her.
Mommy, trying to avoid stepping on more ornaments, overbalances and
topples over onto the boxes of unbroken ornaments that remain on the
settee. More crunching ensues as Mommy sighs and bleeds a bit more.

Oh well, Mommy thinks, that's fewer ornaments she has to pack away
and she tries to remember how much she enjoys buying new ornaments
for the tree every Christmas. Sigh. Mommy begins picking up the
broken ornaments as Sammy darts back out of the room, pausing to take
a swipe at Jessie's fun new box on her way out.

Mommy walks over to the large box, scoops Jessie out and gently
places her on the sitting room floor. Sammy comes back into the room
in time to sing, "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah" at Jessie's comeuppance.
Jessie runs out of the room, pausing to take a swipe at Sammy's head
on her way out.

Mommy places her pitifully few boxes of unbroken ornaments into the
large box and walks over to the tree to start unstringing the popcorn
garland. Mommy is amazed at how little popcorn is left on the string.
Someone has been doing quite a bit of snacking while resting in the
branches of Mommy's Christmas tree! It's no surprise that Sammy has
gained more than a pound over the holidays!!

Mommy wraps the store-bought garland back on its cardboard holders and
begins unstringing the lights from the tree. Feeling a familiar tug,
Mommy looks down to see Sammy wrestling with the dangling string of
lights and quickly grabs up the strand before Sammy can cut her mouth
on a broken bulb. Mommy feels another tug on the strand of lights,
but this time from the direction of the tree. Hey, wait a minute,
Sammy is still on the floor. Mommy peers into the tree in time to see
a streak of patchy orange, white, brown and gray fur disappearing
deeper into the branches. AHA! It seems that Sammy was not the only
kitty availing herself of a real live tree rather than a
carpet-covered imitation!!

Mommy starts to shake the tree trying to get Jessie to jump down.
Mommy has forgotten that the tree is sitting in a tree stand full of
sappy water, covered by a cheaply red stained, furry, tree stand
cover. Mommy is going to have to live with a red ring in the middle
of the sitting room carpet until it is time to put the next Christmas
tree over that spot.

Sammy decides to get in on this fun new game and jumps into the tree
to join Jessie in taunting Mommy. The tree, overburdened by a very
hefty kitten, starts to topple over onto the sitting room floor.
Mommy is having flashbacks of her tree trimming trauma, TTT, better
known as classic post Sammy shock syndrome, as she watches the tree
falling and two cats jumping to safety.

Mommy looks at the tangled strands of Christmas tree lights on the red
stained carpet, the toppled tree, the tangled garland that Jessie and
Sammy are playing tug-o-war with, and the almost empty box of
ornaments. Mommy sig hs as she struggles to detach the tree stand
from the toppled tree. The shims she sawed off and placed around the
trunk of the tree are jammed pretty tightly into the stand. Mommy
tugs harder and says bad words. Sammy and Jessie have lost interest
in the shredded garland and are sitting on the floor singing, "Nyah,
nyah, nyah, nyah," at Mommy.

Mommy grinds her teeth and tugs even harder on the tree stand.
Abruptly, the stand gives way and Mommy goes flying backwards, trips
over her treadmill, and falls on her backside while banging the tree
stand into her forehead and splashing the remaining sappy water up
her nose. Mommy flings the offending tree stand away from her, but
in her anger miscalculates the strength of her toss. The metal tree
stand goes flying across the sitting room and crashes into the
window, breaking two of the bottom panes. The weatherman has
predicted a hard freeze tonight. Sigh.

Finally the half dead tree has been dragged out to the curb, the half
empty box of decorations has been stored in the closet in Mommy's
office, the half stained carpet has been half dried, the half heated
house has been half cleaned, and the half insane Mommy has given a
half hearted attempt at some peace and quiet while the two halves of
the dynamic duo of Jessie and Sammy are half asleep from their
efforts of helping Mommy take down the Christmas tree.

Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy".

Hugs,

CatNipped

Oh OUCH and purrs for your bleeding feet and poor broken ornaments! And
laughing at Jessie for tormenting Sammy (and yes, goading her into this
stuff).

Jill

CatNipped wrote:
Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy".

Ohhhh.... I can't wait for that one! Nothing like doing downward dog
with a cat's butt on your face.

--
Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam he
Email me he

Victor Martinez wrote:

CatNipped wrote:

Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy".

Ohhhh.... I can't wait for that one! Nothing like doing downward dog
with a cat's butt on your face.

Whenever my Sumo jumps up on the desk between me and the keyboard, he
invites me to sniff his butt. I always grab him and say, "Let me
smell that butt -- I want to make sure it's really my Sumo boy"!!

I think it's funny, and he seems to think so too! (Can't help it if
I'm weird.)

Regards and Purrs,
O J

On Sat, 15 Jan 2005 01:53:01 GMT, "CatNipped"
yodeled:

In fond memory of Dave...


Cast of Characters:

Sammy - 9-month-old female kitten
Jessie - 5-year-old female cat
Mommy - MUCH older female human
(snip)

Oh mercy! gasp gasp

What little devils!

Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com

On Sat, 15 Jan 2005 13:10:58 GMT, Victor Martinez
yodeled:

CatNipped wrote:
Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy".

Ohhhh.... I can't wait for that one! Nothing like doing downward dog
with a cat's butt on your face.


Stinky has no conception when I get on the mat, that there is the
remotest possibility that I am not on the floor to play with him.

Of course, he also has to show me that he does all the poses better
than me, and with no practice.


Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com

"O J" wrote in message
...
Victor Martinez wrote:

CatNipped wrote:

Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy".

Ohhhh.... I can't wait for that one! Nothing like doing downward dog
with a cat's butt on your face.

Whenever my Sumo jumps up on the desk between me and the keyboard, he
invites me to sniff his butt. I always grab him and say, "Let me
smell that butt -- I want to make sure it's really my Sumo boy"!!

I think it's funny, and he seems to think so too! (Can't help it if
I'm weird.)

Regards and Purrs,
O J

Rosie used to do that. I was always telling her "I'm not you Momma. You
are a big girl now and you butt is your responsibility" She was such a
sweet kitten.

Jo

in article , O J at
wrote on 1/15/05 11:20AM:

Victor Martinez wrote:

CatNipped wrote:

Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy".

Ohhhh.... I can't wait for that one! Nothing like doing downward dog
with a cat's butt on your face.

Whenever my Sumo jumps up on the desk between me and the keyboard, he
invites me to sniff his butt. I always grab him and say, "Let me
smell that butt -- I want to make sure it's really my Sumo boy"!!

I think it's funny, and he seems to think so too! (Can't help it if
I'm weird.)

Regards and Purrs,
O J

I think that's hysterical!

SNIP, a beautifully scripted adventure/comedey

Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy".

Hugs,

CatNipped

LOLOLOL, tears in my eyes as I type this... I see a comedic, kitten version
of 'Diehard'.... Who do you think would play you? Are you a Kate
Beckensdale type? Or are you more Charlize Theron? GODS that was sooo
funny! Thanks for the best laugh of my week.
--
Mathew
Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat
En Vino Veritas

"Mathew Kagis" wrote in message
news:_3gGd.29135$06.7204@clgrps12...



SNIP, a beautifully scripted adventure/comedey

Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy".

Hugs,

CatNipped

LOLOLOL, tears in my eyes as I type this... I see a comedic, kitten
version
of 'Diehard'.... Who do you think would play you? Are you a Kate
Beckensdale type? Or are you more Charlize Theron? GODS that was sooo
funny! Thanks for the best laugh of my week.
--
Mathew
Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat
En Vino Veritas

Thanks Matthew! I've been doing these stories every since Sammy claimed me
as her slave. You can read them all, sequentially, at
http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/Sammy.asp.

Hugs,

CatNipped