Can't stand to see her like this anymore. We're praying for a miracle

On Aug 19, 12:02 am, wrote:
I posted here about my cat several months ago, back when she was
first diagnosed. In short, she has some sort of auto immune disease
or maythat started to come on in February. When it started we thought
it was a cold. It began with voice loss, lethargy, and a severe
thirst. She was severely anemic and killing her blood cells. She was
put on steroids but they completely surpress her immune system, making
her extremely vulnerable to infections. She got a couple of urinary
track infections where we had her peeing and dribbling blood on the
floor. She's infected eyes for awhile now. The vet gave us some eye
drops to see if it cleared it up, but it's not doing anything. We
think that one of her eyes has now been destroyed, and if a miracle
ever does happen, it will have to be removed. You wouldn't believe how
she looks. Her right eye is disgusting. It's just a solid brown mass
of goo that constantly drips down her face. She's somewhat emaciated
and she has dried medicine and food stuck on her face (it's impossible
to keep her clean) and on parts of her body. Basically, she looks like
a corpse that someone pulled out of a dumpster. At one point I
actually looked at her and burst into tears. However, her appetite is
great (but she's still emaciated, which makes me think cancer...) and
despite not being able to see worth a darn, she's getting around quite
well. She hasn't begun staggering again, so that's good. We took her
off the steroids a while ago because it's so terrible on the body and
causes infection after infection. We THOUGHT she was recovering but
the other morning I put her in her box (she sometimes has to be
carried because she can't see well) and she passed out and litter was
plastered all over the side of her face, mixed with the goo from her
eye. I was horrified that she had begun fainting again, a sign that
her blood count is plummeting again. I was home alone for awhile later
that day and she kept passing out. At one point she was lieing on the
kitchen rub, making sounds like she was actually struggling to
breathe. I lost it and called my mom on her cell and started crying,
saying she was dieing on me. I layed out a blanket for her and put on
her favorite music (that cat has a thing for Josh Groban, Il Divo, and
the like). Since then (the other day) she's stopped fainting and her
breathing (thank God) seems perfectly normal. But at this point the
vet says it's the end of the road, her chance of making a recovery are
slim to none. The last thing we want is to see her suffer (and trust
me, it's heart-breaking to see how disgusting she looks right now),
but since her appetite is good and she's stopped fainting, we're just
waiting right now. We know the time has probably come to euthanize
her, but it's just too damn hard. These next couple of days, we're
just praying for a miracle, biding time. She's been a beloved member
of the family since I was 9 years old (I'm now 20). If there was
something that could be done at this point, money would be no object,
but it looks like it's the end of the road. The vet doesn't see any
hope. It's just been so cruel. One minute you think she's getting
better, and then she crashes again.

The decision is ultimately yours, and only you can make it. But if it
were
me, I'd let her go.
It's the hardest thing in the world to do. I am so sorry.

Sherry