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Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!
Extra! Man bites dog! Cat saved! Pants ruined!
by John Kelso - Austin-American Statesman Tuesday, February 24, 2004 Here's your story: "Man bites Boston terrier, ruins pants." Former City Council Member Louise Epstein was walking her West Highland white terrier, Mr. Nickers, Sunday afternoon outside her Northwest Hills home when the trouble started. A wicked commotion was coming from her neighbor's xeriscaping, where two loose dogs were attacking Louise's 14-year-old cat, Mrs. Buster. A little 15-pound Boston terrier named Piglet had the cat's head in his mouth. On the back end of the fight, a 40-pound mutt with perhaps a dash of pit bull in her was pulling the cat's leg out of its socket. This was a job for Superman. Make that Boston Terrier Man. "My cat was being drawn and quartered," Louise recalled. So she began screaming. So here came her action figure/financial planner husband, John Henry McDonald, 56, flying out of the house to put a liplock on that little black and white Beantown dog. To Louise, John Henry looked like a human highlight film. "He just ran out of the house, khakis and all, and threw himself like he was catching a football that was about to hit the ground," Louise said. "He just dove on top of that pile. He threw himself on that twisting, screaming (pile of) different furs and sunk his teeth in the back of that dog's neck." The dog wasn't hurt. The cat is recovering at the vet's. John Henry got bit on the hand. "It ruined my khakis. Blood everywhere," he said. John Henry and the cat are now on the same antibiotics. The offending dogs are both locked up at the pound. I can hear it now from the other dogs at the pound. Other dogs: "What are you in for?" Boston terrier: "Nailing a financial planner." Louise found the incident out of character for her bow tie-wearing husband. "You've got to know what a clotheshorse John Henry is," she said. "When his car was in a flood, people asked what kind of shoes he was wearing." But on this day, John Henry was ready to mix it up. The Boston terrier clearly was no match. He was "a small dog, I'd say about a foot high, short-legged," said Ron Sherman, a neighbor. It all happened so fast. "It's the old 'man bites dog,' " John Henry recalled. "That's all there is to it. I was thinking, 'What could I do to get the dog off the cat?' So I thought I'd bite the dog, and that's what I did. I think it confused him. He let go of the cat." The larger dog was no problem. She left the fight when John Henry arrived. On Monday, the Boston terrier was being quarantined for biting John Henry. Shouldn't John Henry be quarantined? What if he gives the Boston terrier rabies? So what does neck of Boston terrier taste like? "Chicken," John Henry said. John Henry picked the back of the dog's neck to bite because it was "handy." There were probably other handy parts of the dog, too, but you'd have to close your eyes before you bit them. John Henry went to the Seton Northwest emergency room to get his hand bite treated. When word got around that he'd bitten a dog, that led to a smart remark. "Everybody wants to be a comedian," John Henry said. "There was this tech. 'Hey, Cujo,' he called me." He is a little worried about his image. "All of a sudden I'm terrorizing this terrier," said John Henry, who has a company called Austin Asset Management Co. "I can see it now. '******* financial planner bites little puppy.' " Louise said John Henry was pretty riled up when he saw her cat's head in the Boston terrier's mouth. "The only reason he didn't kill that dog instantly is, our friends just got a Boston terrier, and he thought it was their dog, and it wasn't," she said. "That's the only reason he didn't keep on chewin'. I guess this explains why he eats whatever I give him." So what's the proper attire for biting a dog? "I was wearing my dog-fighting outfit, as a matter of fact," John Henry said. "It was a white shirt, a blue cardigan sweater, nicely matched, the khakis and the saddle shoes," he said. John Henry said the key to his success is that he bit the right dog. "If you have a choice between biting the pit bull and the Boston terrier, bite the Boston terrier," he said. Unless there's a Chihuahua. -- Victor Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam he Email me he |
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