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Help with clingy, needy cat



 
 
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  #1  
Old June 14th 04, 06:45 PM
KellyH
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Default Help with clingy, needy cat

This is also about my foster cat, Hushpad.

Hushpad's previous owners were a mentally ill woman and her husband who was
hardly ever home. There were a total of 7 cats in an apartment, which was
in serious disrepair. The woman was being committed, so the cats were
turned over to the rescue league.

I'm used to working with semi-ferals and cats that don't trust people.
Hushpad is totally the opposite, which is good in a way. However, she is so
needy and clingy I'm starting to think this will be an obstacle to getting
her adopted. She follows me everywhere, is constantly underfoot. Whenever
I sit down, she's on me. She can't just sit on my lap, she has to rub
herself all over my face and against my neck. Also, she drools when she
does this. I can hardly read anything while sitting with her. She doesn't
get the message when I set her down. I try holding her so she will settle
down, and that works temporarily. I can't have her in the bathroom while
I'm getting ready because she does her rubbing thing while I'm brushing my
teeth, and that just doesn't work. Recently, she's starting meowing
pitifully while I'm in the shower. Today, she got up on the bathtub ledge a
couple times, and I seriously thought she was going to jump in. Given last
night's scare (see thread Scary episode last night), I was thinking she's
going to get in the shower and freak out, flailing all over the place. I
pulled the curtain and gently nudged her off the ledge.

So, how can I get Hushpad to not be so needy and clingy? Most people want
an affectionate cat, but I think this might be too much. My cat Loki tends
to be a little needy, but after brushing him off a couple times when I'm
trying to do something, he gets the idea. My cats will rub up on me for a
little bit, but not constantly. Hushpad will do this for like an hour
straight if I let her.

--
-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
Check out www.snittens.com


  #2  
Old June 14th 04, 07:48 PM
kworley
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Posts: n/a
Default

On 2004-06-14 10:54:20 -0700, Laura R.
said:

circa Mon, 14 Jun 2004 17:45:24 GMT, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav,
KellyH ) said,
So, how can I get Hushpad to not be so needy and clingy? Most people want
an affectionate cat, but I think this might be too much. My cat Loki tends
to be a little needy, but after brushing him off a couple times when I'm
trying to do something, he gets the idea. My cats will rub up on me for a
little bit, but not constantly. Hushpad will do this for like an hour
straight if I let her.

I suspect it might just be a matter of time. It sounds like she has
been through a lot, and perhaps she's just feeling clingy out of
insecurity. Once she's rehomed, she might chill out a bit over time.
And some people might like the idea of having a clingy cat- even as
clingy as Hushpad is. :-)


I'm going to second this. When I got Ming from the shelter, he was
about as clingy as Hushpad. Not as constant as what you describe (he
didn't actually follow me into the bathroom; he'd wait outside), but
if he was awake, he was on me. Headbutts, purrs, rubbing, the whole
routine. As he settled in, his bouts of neediness subsided. He's
still affectionate, but not nearly as frantic about it as he was at
first. Now, two months down the line he's much more secure and less of
a pest.

Katrina

  #3  
Old June 14th 04, 07:48 PM
kworley
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On 2004-06-14 10:54:20 -0700, Laura R.
said:

circa Mon, 14 Jun 2004 17:45:24 GMT, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav,
KellyH ) said,
So, how can I get Hushpad to not be so needy and clingy? Most people want
an affectionate cat, but I think this might be too much. My cat Loki tends
to be a little needy, but after brushing him off a couple times when I'm
trying to do something, he gets the idea. My cats will rub up on me for a
little bit, but not constantly. Hushpad will do this for like an hour
straight if I let her.

I suspect it might just be a matter of time. It sounds like she has
been through a lot, and perhaps she's just feeling clingy out of
insecurity. Once she's rehomed, she might chill out a bit over time.
And some people might like the idea of having a clingy cat- even as
clingy as Hushpad is. :-)


I'm going to second this. When I got Ming from the shelter, he was
about as clingy as Hushpad. Not as constant as what you describe (he
didn't actually follow me into the bathroom; he'd wait outside), but
if he was awake, he was on me. Headbutts, purrs, rubbing, the whole
routine. As he settled in, his bouts of neediness subsided. He's
still affectionate, but not nearly as frantic about it as he was at
first. Now, two months down the line he's much more secure and less of
a pest.

Katrina

  #4  
Old June 14th 04, 07:48 PM
kworley
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On 2004-06-14 10:54:20 -0700, Laura R.
said:

circa Mon, 14 Jun 2004 17:45:24 GMT, in rec.pets.cats.health+behav,
KellyH ) said,
So, how can I get Hushpad to not be so needy and clingy? Most people want
an affectionate cat, but I think this might be too much. My cat Loki tends
to be a little needy, but after brushing him off a couple times when I'm
trying to do something, he gets the idea. My cats will rub up on me for a
little bit, but not constantly. Hushpad will do this for like an hour
straight if I let her.

I suspect it might just be a matter of time. It sounds like she has
been through a lot, and perhaps she's just feeling clingy out of
insecurity. Once she's rehomed, she might chill out a bit over time.
And some people might like the idea of having a clingy cat- even as
clingy as Hushpad is. :-)


I'm going to second this. When I got Ming from the shelter, he was
about as clingy as Hushpad. Not as constant as what you describe (he
didn't actually follow me into the bathroom; he'd wait outside), but
if he was awake, he was on me. Headbutts, purrs, rubbing, the whole
routine. As he settled in, his bouts of neediness subsided. He's
still affectionate, but not nearly as frantic about it as he was at
first. Now, two months down the line he's much more secure and less of
a pest.

Katrina

  #5  
Old June 14th 04, 08:00 PM
Mary
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"kworley" wrote:

Now, two months down the line he's much more secure and less of
a pest.


Cheeks was like this at first--after being a little circumspect the first
couple of days, no doubt deciding whether or not we were going to make a
meal of her. To me, her affection came through as just plain gratitude. She
hated being in the shelter, all crowded in with other cats sharing her bed
and all over her. She stretched and stretched when we first let her out of
the carrier.

She is still very affectionate, although not always underfoot. It is hard
for me to understand why people would complain about an affectionate pet.
Usually the complaint is that cats are *not* affectionate. Why have a PET if
you don't want to *pet* it? It might be better to leave the pets to those
who enjoy them than to have a pet you don't want to touch.


  #6  
Old June 14th 04, 08:00 PM
Mary
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"kworley" wrote:

Now, two months down the line he's much more secure and less of
a pest.


Cheeks was like this at first--after being a little circumspect the first
couple of days, no doubt deciding whether or not we were going to make a
meal of her. To me, her affection came through as just plain gratitude. She
hated being in the shelter, all crowded in with other cats sharing her bed
and all over her. She stretched and stretched when we first let her out of
the carrier.

She is still very affectionate, although not always underfoot. It is hard
for me to understand why people would complain about an affectionate pet.
Usually the complaint is that cats are *not* affectionate. Why have a PET if
you don't want to *pet* it? It might be better to leave the pets to those
who enjoy them than to have a pet you don't want to touch.


  #7  
Old June 14th 04, 08:00 PM
Mary
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"kworley" wrote:

Now, two months down the line he's much more secure and less of
a pest.


Cheeks was like this at first--after being a little circumspect the first
couple of days, no doubt deciding whether or not we were going to make a
meal of her. To me, her affection came through as just plain gratitude. She
hated being in the shelter, all crowded in with other cats sharing her bed
and all over her. She stretched and stretched when we first let her out of
the carrier.

She is still very affectionate, although not always underfoot. It is hard
for me to understand why people would complain about an affectionate pet.
Usually the complaint is that cats are *not* affectionate. Why have a PET if
you don't want to *pet* it? It might be better to leave the pets to those
who enjoy them than to have a pet you don't want to touch.


  #8  
Old June 14th 04, 08:27 PM
KellyH
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Mary" wrote in message
. com...


Cheeks was like this at first--after being a little circumspect the first
couple of days, no doubt deciding whether or not we were going to make a
meal of her. To me, her affection came through as just plain gratitude.

She
hated being in the shelter, all crowded in with other cats sharing her bed
and all over her. She stretched and stretched when we first let her out of
the carrier.

She is still very affectionate, although not always underfoot. It is hard
for me to understand why people would complain about an affectionate pet.
Usually the complaint is that cats are *not* affectionate. Why have a PET

if
you don't want to *pet* it? It might be better to leave the pets to those
who enjoy them than to have a pet you don't want to touch.




I am not complaining. The purpose of my post was to seek some help in
assisting this cat to become a more well-adjusted cat, suitable for adoption
by the general public. Being affectionate is one thing, but rubbing against
your face while you attempt to perform a task, such as reading or brushing
your teeth, is another. I can recognize that a potential adopter might not
appreciate *that* level of affection.

I was thinking along the same lines as some of you, that she may adjust her
neediness once she is in a regular household. That was why I started
letting her out of the room to spend some time in the rest of the house, but
that backfired on me. She seems to be going through some redirected
aggression, and I cannot trust her around my cats right now. Hushpad
attacked Loki again today. I was letting them smell each other while
holding the door open a crack. Everything looked good, no signs of
aggression, so I opened the door. Loki went in the room and Hushpad was
watching him. I kept an eagle eye on her, looking for ears going back, tail
wagging, etc. Next thing I knew, she flew into a rage after him. She had
him cornered. Luckily, I had a carrier in the room and Loki, who likes to
go in carriers, got in as soon as I opened it.

--
-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
Check out www.snittens.com


  #9  
Old June 14th 04, 08:27 PM
KellyH
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Mary" wrote in message
. com...


Cheeks was like this at first--after being a little circumspect the first
couple of days, no doubt deciding whether or not we were going to make a
meal of her. To me, her affection came through as just plain gratitude.

She
hated being in the shelter, all crowded in with other cats sharing her bed
and all over her. She stretched and stretched when we first let her out of
the carrier.

She is still very affectionate, although not always underfoot. It is hard
for me to understand why people would complain about an affectionate pet.
Usually the complaint is that cats are *not* affectionate. Why have a PET

if
you don't want to *pet* it? It might be better to leave the pets to those
who enjoy them than to have a pet you don't want to touch.




I am not complaining. The purpose of my post was to seek some help in
assisting this cat to become a more well-adjusted cat, suitable for adoption
by the general public. Being affectionate is one thing, but rubbing against
your face while you attempt to perform a task, such as reading or brushing
your teeth, is another. I can recognize that a potential adopter might not
appreciate *that* level of affection.

I was thinking along the same lines as some of you, that she may adjust her
neediness once she is in a regular household. That was why I started
letting her out of the room to spend some time in the rest of the house, but
that backfired on me. She seems to be going through some redirected
aggression, and I cannot trust her around my cats right now. Hushpad
attacked Loki again today. I was letting them smell each other while
holding the door open a crack. Everything looked good, no signs of
aggression, so I opened the door. Loki went in the room and Hushpad was
watching him. I kept an eagle eye on her, looking for ears going back, tail
wagging, etc. Next thing I knew, she flew into a rage after him. She had
him cornered. Luckily, I had a carrier in the room and Loki, who likes to
go in carriers, got in as soon as I opened it.

--
-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
Check out www.snittens.com


  #10  
Old June 14th 04, 08:27 PM
KellyH
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Mary" wrote in message
. com...


Cheeks was like this at first--after being a little circumspect the first
couple of days, no doubt deciding whether or not we were going to make a
meal of her. To me, her affection came through as just plain gratitude.

She
hated being in the shelter, all crowded in with other cats sharing her bed
and all over her. She stretched and stretched when we first let her out of
the carrier.

She is still very affectionate, although not always underfoot. It is hard
for me to understand why people would complain about an affectionate pet.
Usually the complaint is that cats are *not* affectionate. Why have a PET

if
you don't want to *pet* it? It might be better to leave the pets to those
who enjoy them than to have a pet you don't want to touch.




I am not complaining. The purpose of my post was to seek some help in
assisting this cat to become a more well-adjusted cat, suitable for adoption
by the general public. Being affectionate is one thing, but rubbing against
your face while you attempt to perform a task, such as reading or brushing
your teeth, is another. I can recognize that a potential adopter might not
appreciate *that* level of affection.

I was thinking along the same lines as some of you, that she may adjust her
neediness once she is in a regular household. That was why I started
letting her out of the room to spend some time in the rest of the house, but
that backfired on me. She seems to be going through some redirected
aggression, and I cannot trust her around my cats right now. Hushpad
attacked Loki again today. I was letting them smell each other while
holding the door open a crack. Everything looked good, no signs of
aggression, so I opened the door. Loki went in the room and Hushpad was
watching him. I kept an eagle eye on her, looking for ears going back, tail
wagging, etc. Next thing I knew, she flew into a rage after him. She had
him cornered. Luckily, I had a carrier in the room and Loki, who likes to
go in carriers, got in as soon as I opened it.

--
-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
Check out www.snittens.com


 




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