Integrating the new kitties

LOL, my Jimmy is a large one too, and he drags the females around sometimes,
but in the end the females always win :-)

Nanny

schreef in bericht
oups.com...
On 17 Jun, 16:37, "Nanny" wrote:
That's what I mean, Marina, I want to let them work it out together, be
it
cat or ferret. I must say I had more problems with ferrets that I had to
separate, to the point that they had separate cages, than with cats.

Nanny/////

When I introduced Barney the Ferret to Gertie Ferret, I put them into
a neutral crate and plastered the pair of them with Ferretone. They
were so busy licking the ferretone off themselves and each other, that
they totally forgot that they had never met before and were pretty
much inseperable straight away. The only problem is that Barney
forgets he's twice the size of Gertie, and is prone to jumping on her
to make her play.

Helen M

Rhonda wrote:
Tak, with your situation -- bringing 2 kitties home to neutral
territory, I would not separate them. If you see signs of overt
hostility, and I mean more than an occasional hiss, maybe they do need
separation -- but I think you are in the perfect situation to get them
to be buddies.

Cats need some time to work things out, but you don't have a resident
cat who feels this is his or her territory.

I'd really *like* to put them together - no more keeping separate
feeding and litter areas, no more going back and forth between rooms
while making sure no cat gets past - that would be so easy!

I'm sure they wouldn't kill each other, but I seem to have made a bad
match here with this pair, so I'm really at a loss. A few minutes
ago, I tried feeding them both wet food, with the dishes only about a
foot apart, on either side of a door opened just a couple of inches.
Dot growled while eating, and Buster meowed. Then, Buster tried to
whap Dot through the crack in the door! Dot ran and hissed, and I
closed up the door an inch and comforted Dot for a while.

Their dynamic is just bad. Buster likes to chase, bat, and play, and
Dot likes to growl, hiss, and hide from Buster. Since Dot won't
physically challenge Buster, I don't see a violent confrontation, so
it probably won't be a huge setback, but Dot would feel unhappy.

But obviously, if I just keep them separated, there will never be any
progress that way either - so I may try opening up the door for a few
minutes today and follow them closely and see how they interact,
before separating them again. I wonder if anyone else has any ideas?

On 2007-06-17 13:07:16 -0500, Takayuki said:

Rhonda wrote:
Tak, with your situation -- bringing 2 kitties home to neutral
territory, I would not separate them. If you see signs of overt
hostility, and I mean more than an occasional hiss, maybe they do need
separation -- but I think you are in the perfect situation to get them
to be buddies.

Cats need some time to work things out, but you don't have a resident
cat who feels this is his or her territory.

I'd really *like* to put them together - no more keeping separate
feeding and litter areas, no more going back and forth between rooms
while making sure no cat gets past - that would be so easy!

I'm sure they wouldn't kill each other, but I seem to have made a bad
match here with this pair, so I'm really at a loss. A few minutes
ago, I tried feeding them both wet food, with the dishes only about a
foot apart, on either side of a door opened just a couple of inches.
Dot growled while eating, and Buster meowed. Then, Buster tried to
whap Dot through the crack in the door! Dot ran and hissed, and I
closed up the door an inch and comforted Dot for a while.

Their dynamic is just bad. Buster likes to chase, bat, and play, and
Dot likes to growl, hiss, and hide from Buster. Since Dot won't
physically challenge Buster, I don't see a violent confrontation, so
it probably won't be a huge setback, but Dot would feel unhappy.

But obviously, if I just keep them separated, there will never be any
progress that way either - so I may try opening up the door for a few
minutes today and follow them closely and see how they interact,
before separating them again. I wonder if anyone else has any ideas?

Seriously though Tak, that's how I did it with Pearl and Grant and
Sugar. Just a few minutes a day. Then the minute Pearl started winding
up but *before* chasing began, I would scoop her up and separate. If
you are consistant, the time will get longer and longer. Dot will get
braver and Buster will get "Oh, if I do THAT we get separated". Or like
when Grant and Sugar were little and wrestling got out of hand, I would
separate them as SOON as I heard noise. What happened there was they
learned to wrestle in silence, and then I knew for sure if noise
happened it was too rough, but they *also* knew they crossed a line
when that happened. It's not a loss and if cats integrated immediately
all the time, no one would have come up with all this stuff They
have only been together 3 days. The only cats I ever knew that took to
each other that quickly were my Amigo and my roommates cat Max and that
was just strange.

Their dynamic is just bad. Buster likes to chase, bat, and play, and
Dot likes to growl, hiss, and hide from Buster. Since Dot won't
physically challenge Buster, I don't see a violent confrontation, so
it probably won't be a huge setback, but Dot would feel unhappy.

My Muriel and Zeke were like that when they first met - Muriel was
2 and already living with me, Zeke was about 4 months. The main
point of dispute was Muriel's tail, which Zeke regarded as his own
personal cat toy, and the more annoyed Muriel got about it the more
she thrashed it, so the more interesting it got as a toy... it took
about two weeks for them to sort that one out.


A few minutes ago, I tried feeding them both wet food, with the
dishes only about a foot apart, on either side of a door opened
just a couple of inches. Dot growled while eating, and Buster
meowed. Then, Buster tried to whap Dot through the crack in the
door!

What I did for many years was just to put down one more food bowl
than we had cats, and spread them out a few feet apart at the same
time. That way there'd be nothing much to argue about; one might
chase another away from a bowl, but there'd be another one in plain
sight. It often looked like musical chairs.

============== j-c ====== @ ====== purr . demon . co . uk ==============
Jack Campin: 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland | tel 0131 660 4760
http://www.purr.demon.co.uk/jack/ for CD-ROMs and free | fax 0870 0554 975
stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, & Mac logic fonts | mob 07800 739 557

"Takayuki" wrote

| Rhonda wrote:
| Tak, with your situation -- bringing 2 kitties home to neutral
| territory, I would not separate them. If you see signs of overt
| hostility, and I mean more than an occasional hiss, maybe they do need
| separation -- but I think you are in the perfect situation to get them
| to be buddies.
|
| Cats need some time to work things out, but you don't have a resident
| cat who feels this is his or her territory.
|
| I'd really *like* to put them together - no more keeping separate
| feeding and litter areas, no more going back and forth between rooms
| while making sure no cat gets past - that would be so easy!
|
| I'm sure they wouldn't kill each other, but I seem to have made a bad
| match here with this pair, so I'm really at a loss. A few minutes
| ago, I tried feeding them both wet food, with the dishes only about a
| foot apart, on either side of a door opened just a couple of inches.
| Dot growled while eating, and Buster meowed. Then, Buster tried to
| whap Dot through the crack in the door! Dot ran and hissed, and I
| closed up the door an inch and comforted Dot for a while.
|
| Their dynamic is just bad. Buster likes to chase, bat, and play, and
| Dot likes to growl, hiss, and hide from Buster. Since Dot won't
| physically challenge Buster, I don't see a violent confrontation, so
| it probably won't be a huge setback, but Dot would feel unhappy.
|
| But obviously, if I just keep them separated, there will never be any
| progress that way either - so I may try opening up the door for a few
| minutes today and follow them closely and see how they interact,
| before separating them again. I wonder if anyone else has any ideas?

You're trying to micro-manage them and that is definitely not going to help
them get to be friends. If I were in your position I would LET THEM WORK IT
OUT. Only intervene if they actually start to fight. And I don't mean
hissing and growling, or even swatting at one another. Those are perfectly
normal interactions between strange cats! It does not mean they are going to
be enemies for life unless you keep them separate. In doing that, you keep
them from going through the process of becoming friends. Let them both sleep
on your bed with you! To do otherwise is tp virtually guarantee that they
will become jealous rivals.

Dear Tak,

Am 17.06.2007 schrieb Takayuki:

But obviously, if I just keep them separated, there will never be any
progress that way either - so I may try opening up the door for a few
minutes today and follow them closely and see how they interact,
before separating them again. I wonder if anyone else has any ideas?

I would not separate them. Please keep in mind, that Dot never gets
the chance to discover the whole house and that you give Buster an
advantage. They are both new to your home and need some time to get
used to their new situation.

I'm sure they will sort it out in no time in case you let them. The
hissing and hiding from Dot will stop after a few days and Buster will
learn how far he can go with Dot.

I understand that you think Dot is unhappy. But that is what _you_
think. Please give them a chance to get settled. It would have an
advantage for you too:-) You don't have to time your life between both
cats anymore. Another advantage would be, that each cat could come to
you whenever it wants to. And who knows? One day you wake up having
both kitties in your bed:-)

Purrs to you
Inge and the catgang
--
CatManiacs World: http://www.gwsystems.com/inge

"Takayuki" wrote in message
...
Rhonda wrote:
Tak, with your situation -- bringing 2 kitties home to neutral
territory, I would not separate them. If you see signs of overt
hostility, and I mean more than an occasional hiss, maybe they do need
separation -- but I think you are in the perfect situation to get them
to be buddies.

Cats need some time to work things out, but you don't have a resident
cat who feels this is his or her territory.

I'd really *like* to put them together - no more keeping separate
feeding and litter areas, no more going back and forth between rooms
while making sure no cat gets past - that would be so easy!

I'm sure they wouldn't kill each other, but I seem to have made a bad
match here with this pair, so I'm really at a loss. A few minutes
ago, I tried feeding them both wet food, with the dishes only about a
foot apart, on either side of a door opened just a couple of inches.
Dot growled while eating, and Buster meowed. Then, Buster tried to
whap Dot through the crack in the door! Dot ran and hissed, and I
closed up the door an inch and comforted Dot for a while.

Their dynamic is just bad. Buster likes to chase, bat, and play, and
Dot likes to growl, hiss, and hide from Buster. Since Dot won't
physically challenge Buster, I don't see a violent confrontation, so
it probably won't be a huge setback, but Dot would feel unhappy.

But obviously, if I just keep them separated, there will never be any
progress that way either - so I may try opening up the door for a few
minutes today and follow them closely and see how they interact,
before separating them again. I wonder if anyone else has any ideas?


Tak,

Please don't assume that you have made a poor choice or that the dynamics
are poor. It is much too early to come to that conclusion. That is part of
the reason I kept recommending that you go very slowly and proceed with
caution. After all, what is the big hurry? What are we going to do with an
extra day or an extra week? You and the kitties will have a lifetime
together, so don't add to their stress by trying to rush into things. And,
remember, it is *normal* for them to feel stress at this time. They have
come from a shelter, and that is stressful in itself. They are being taken
to a new home. That will eventually be a wonderful change for them, but they
don't know that yet. And they are being brought into strange surroundings
where there is another strange cat waiting. So, why add to their stress (and
yours)? I realize that "instant introductions" sometimes work well, but you
apparently are already seeing some of the results that can occur if we move
too rapidly. You said you tried to get them to eat close together but on
separate plates. That's good, but it's too soon. Give them their space and
gradually work on bringing them together. I would also suggest that you give
Dot the run of the house and give Buster a room of his own for awhile. Dot
is older and more shy, so it will be to her advantage if she is seen more as
the "resident cat." Buster is younger, more aggressive, and will probably
adapt more quickly to his new surroundings. Don't try to give them a view of
each other yet by cracking the door. Let them adjust to their environment
first. Each will certainly be aware of the existence of the other, but cats
often become agitated when they see a strange cat. Let them move around the
house *separately,* learn their new home, and mix their scents. And keep two
or three Feliway diffusers plugged in!

Good luck with all this, but please try not to lost patience - either with
yourself or with the situation - after such a brief period of time. Give it
some time, lavish attention on both of them, and it *will* work out. Believe
me, I have had experience both with the consequences of trying to move too
quickly and with the wonderful results of a "take your time" approach.

MaryL

Takayuki wrote:

I said to him, "I'm sorry, but I have to go to bed now with Dot." And
now I hear him crying in the other room. I want to be there for them
both when they need me, not just for one or the other - and I want so
much for them to get along, so that that can happen.

Going to sleep at night might be the one time you can let them be
together for an extended period. At least, in my house, that is the
main time that peace reigns supreme. The lion lies down with the, uh,
smaller lion. I will usually wake up during the night to find all
3 sleeping peacefully on my bed.

It's good to keep them separated when you're out, and maybe let them
have brief introductions while you're supervising. But it might work out
nicely to let them both sleep with you - try it and see if it works!

Joyce

Karen wrote:

It's funny. The bed was the FIRST place that Grant, Sugar and Pearl
worked out on their own. They each had their own spot and that was
that. Sleeping at night was almost never a problem. I wonder why they
sorted taht out nearly immediately?

I don't know, but as I wrote in another post, that is the case at my
place, too.

Joyce

Takayuki wrote:

I'm sure they wouldn't kill each other, but I seem to have made a bad
match here with this pair, so I'm really at a loss.

I think it's too soon to know whether it's a bad match. Things might
change in the next week or two. I would keep at it for at least another
couple of weeks to see if they calm down. He's a young guy, and it
could just be that his kitten energy is more than she feels like dealing
with. Remember that he will outgrow this.

Joyce