"Vucket" "Wish List"

it also makes a difference as to the nature of the problem/disability...
physical disabilities tend to get into a rut or radical, emotional issues,
and social issues, tend to be more geared towards support, Lee, who has
found that WW is the only group activity she can tolerate on a regular basis
Cheryl P. wrote in message
...
Granby wrote:
The problem I have with groups that "have the same disabilities I do" is
that they tend to get in a rut. There gets to be too much thinking you
"can't do that". Bull, I can do anything I am physically able. Yes,
someone may have to lead me through the path but, that doesn't mean I
shouldn't walk the path because someone else tends to limit themselves.
Stereotype thinking really gets my goat. I have more abilities than
disabilities and have taught my children to look at people that way.

I never thought I'd be a group person, but now I find some of them an
easy and simple way to meet people who share some of my interests!

But I like a balance. There are times when a group of people who have
similar problems to me provide essential support - or enable me to
contribute a bit to some cause that I have a deep and personal
connection to. And there are times when what I want and need is to
forget everything else and spend an enjoyable evening on one of my
hobbies with like-minded friends. Of course, there's overlap - sometimes
a friend in a hobby group will want to talk about a personal problem,
and sometimes people in a more serious - ie focused on a
problem/disability - group will have a pleasant social evening.

And sometimes - often, actually - someone expresses a perspective that I
can't agree with, and I have to decide whether I should join battle or
bite my tongue. If it happens too often or is over something too
important to me to live and let live, well, I disengage myself politely
and look for other ways to spend my time.

Cheryl

Granby wrote:
The problem I have with groups that "have the same disabilities I do" is
that they tend to get in a rut. There gets to be too much thinking you
"can't do that". Bull, I can do anything I am physically able. Yes,
someone may have to lead me through the path but, that doesn't mean I
shouldn't walk the path because someone else tends to limit themselves.
Stereotype thinking really gets my goat. I have more abilities than
disabilities and have taught my children to look at people that way.
"Bridget" wrote in message

I won't deny that a good group is hard to find and can take a long time.
And I feel very lucky and blessed that I have found good groups. I have
attended different groups over the years before I found the ones I am a
member of and the difference in a healthy group and a not healthy group,
when you find them is amazing. In my case, I have found some incredibly
supportive and encouraging groups that were originally designed around a
disability, but they have become places of great growth for the people
who belong to them.

YMMV,
Bridget

...

wrote:

Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not
only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it, in
a number of ways. I don't have the money to buy property. And I don't
have
the temperament to live in close proximity to other people. I'm just too
grumpy and paranoid right now. So I have to work on myself, get over some
of this depression and negative thinking/moods, before I can even
consider
making a home with other people. That's probably a later-on kind of
project.

Joyce
Having an intentional community can happen even if you live in an
apartment. My neighbors and I don't speak to each other because they have
nothing nice to say to me, but I have incredible support in the community.
I belong to a couple of organizations that I really fit in with. One of
those is the Church and the other is a group of people who have the same
disabilities that I do. I have found a great fit with these two groups -
your groups of course would be different. These people have kept me housed
and fed and brought me things I needed when I was sick and an incredible
myriad of other things. I have been able to support them when they needed
it and the company has been wonderful for them and for me. When I get done
with school, I am not even considering moving to get a job. I will settle
for lower pay and fewer benefits to stay in my community it is so
satisfying and it doesn't include family, neighbors, a significant other,
a roommate or a special immediate community, like seniors have in certain
areas. It took me a long time to find the groups I really fit in with, but
I wouldn't trade them for the world now that I have them.

Bridget

Stormmee wrote:
I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided I
can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee

LOL

Bridget

"Bridget" wrote in message
. ..
Stormmee wrote:
I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided
I
can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee

LOL

Bridget

After my jump, my son-in-law gave me a sweatshirt. It has pictures of me
jumping on the front and back. Below the picture on the front it says,
"Skydivers: The few, The brave, The insane!

Joy

Hey girl if I don't want to ride in one in particular how did we get to
jumping out of one? Not this old gal, no way, I don't even want to wait on
the ground while someone I care about jumps. I saw once what could happen
and that was enough for me.
"Stormmee" wrote in message
...
I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided I
can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee
Joy wrote in message
...
wrote in message
...
Joy wrote:

My recommendation to everybody is to pick out the most important
thing
on
your list, and do it as soon as you can. You never know what could
come
up
to keep you from doing things, so do as many of them as you can.

I might refine that a bit and instead, try to do the more easily
accomplished ones as soon as I can. In my list, it's the mosaic class.
Then, maybe some of the trips. I could probably swing some version of
the lying-on-the-sand vacation, too - maybe not with as much luxury as
I fantasize, but still pleasant. But I don't want to do it alone, so I
need to find a travel partner. I don't know anyone who has that kind of
vacation in mind.

I forgot to list one travel destination I yearn for, because I was so
busy focusing on where I might want to go abroad. But one that's not
very
far from me is the Best Friends Animal Society in Utah. It sounds like
a pain to get to, but I could manage it, and I could afford it. And I
could even go alone, because once i got there, I'd have plenty of
people
and animals to relate to.

Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not
only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it,
in
a number of ways. I don't have the money to buy property. And I don't
have
the temperament to live in close proximity to other people. I'm just
too
grumpy and paranoid right now. So I have to work on myself, get over
some
of this depression and negative thinking/moods, before I can even
consider
making a home with other people. That's probably a later-on kind of
project.

I get your point about "Do it now, because we never know when we'll run
out of time," the whole "carpe diem" thing. But the fact is, if I'm not
ready now, I'm not ready now - whether I have 10 years in which to
become
ready, or I only have 3 days, and therefore will never be ready. Just
because it would be useful to be able to fly if cornered by a tiger,
that
doesn't mean a human being will suddenly sprout wings, if you catch my
meaning. Some of my dreams probably won't come true because I'm not
able
to do them in the time I have allotted. That's unfortunate, but it's
life.
I try not to compound the stress by putting too much pressure on
myself.

Joyce

You're absolutely right! There are some things we can't do, but it's
nice
to dream about them. And there are things we may do someday, but we may
not
be ready for them yet. I jumped out of an airplane on my 70th birthday,
but
there's no way I could have done that even one year earlier.

The important thing is to have at least some things on your list that you
can achieve, and go after at least one of them.

Joy

"Cheryl P." wrote in message
...
Jack Campin - bogus address wrote:

What I found living in one 30 years ago was that temperament didn't
matter a damn. What counted was people's economic interests. You
need to look at what ties people have outside the community and where
those ties are going to pull them. You can live with somebody with
funny moods a lot easier than with someobody who wants to sell the
whole place up as soon as possible for whatever the market will bear,
however charming they may be about it.

It's not so much the funny moods that would make me shy away from anything
like an intentional community - it's the cliques and conflicts of interest
and gossip you get anytime you have a group of people, and which can,
given the wrong people and the wrong kind of group structure or
philosophy, rapidly become completely intolerable.

I also tend to like solitude anyway, and prefer to spend a fair bit of
time alone, with the rest divided among work and assorted interests (along
with the people who share my workplace and personal interests). When I
come home after a long day of this, I do NOT want to have to deal with not
just moodiness, but he said/she said spats or being lobbied to take this
side or that on various community issues.

Economics are important, too, of course. I spend extra on housing so I
have a private space where I don't have to deal with such things.

Cheryl

I, too, need my privacy, and I have also found a perfect balance. I have a
number of friends at my church, and I know I could call on them if I needed
help. I am also a member of Toastmasters, and have many friends there. The
nice thing about an organization like Toastmasters (and many others) is
that, no matter where you go, you have friends because you're part of the
organization. I have visited Toastmasters clubs on all four of my trips to
Australia. I have been asked to participate in the meetings, and often to
give a speech. I have been invited into people's homes, usually for a meal.
One Toastmaster gave me a two-hour walking tour of the town where I was
staying. Another invited me to stay with her while I was visiting her city.

Sometimes politics or personal differences intrude into Toastmasters, but
usually I can stay out of those. I don't get involved in the higher levels
of the organization, because that is where most of the problems occur. The
most serious problem I've encountered at the club level was a member whose
speeches were sermons. That might have been tolerable, in spite of the
varied religious backgrounds of our members. However, his sermons were of
the "If you don't believe exactly as I do you're going to burn in hell
forever!" variety. We had to speak to him several times before he stopped
giving that type of speech, but we lost a couple of members in the meantime.

Usually, though, Toastmasters are a great bunch of people. We're almost all
in the organization to improve ourselves and to help each other.

Joy

Bless your heart they got the insane part right, you would have to be. I
cannot imagine ever having the nerve to do that. I have done some pretty
risky things in my time but that one just creeps me out. WAY TO GO FOR YOU
THOUGH!
"Joy" wrote in message
...
"Bridget" wrote in message
. ..
Stormmee wrote:
I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided
I
can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee

LOL

Bridget

After my jump, my son-in-law gave me a sweatshirt. It has pictures of me
jumping on the front and back. Below the picture on the front it says,
"Skydivers: The few, The brave, The insane!

Joy

Jack Campin - bogus address wrote:

Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not
only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it, in
a number of ways. I don't have the money to buy property. And I don't have
the temperament to live in close proximity to other people.

What I found living in one 30 years ago was that temperament didn't
matter a damn. What counted was people's economic interests. You
need to look at what ties people have outside the community and where
those ties are going to pull them. You can live with somebody with
funny moods a lot easier than with someobody who wants to sell the
whole place up as soon as possible for whatever the market will bear,
however charming they may be about it.

Hmm. Sorry you had a bad experience, that sucks.

I didn't mean that I thought my moodiness would make me an unattractive
community member (although perhaps it would ). I just meant that because
of my state of mind, and how I feel around people most of the time, I
don't *want* to live in a community. I don't think I could tolerate other
people being that close. So I'm not motivated right now to look for that
kind of situation.

So why even mention it as a goal? Well, in spite of my cranky misanthropy,
I do need other people. It's lonely living by myself, without a lot of
close friends or family close by. I hate being so introverted and
paranoid around people. The happiest times in my life have been when
I've been actively social, connected to a lot of people, and involved
in communitiies. I'm basically a social person, but when I get depressed,
I stop trusting people and then I withdraw. That's how things are these
days, so seeking out an intentional community is out of the question
right now.

But the economic issue you bring up is also germane, because even if I
were chomping at the bit to join a cohousing community, I wouldn't have
the resources to do so. I know you were talking about something else.
It sounds like you got screwed by someone who wasn't honest about his
ultimate intentions. Stuff like this happens, sure. But a lot of other
things could go wrong as well, even if everyone has good intentions.

Joyce
--
To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name.

Bridget wrote:

I have incredible support in the
community. I belong to a couple of organizations that I really fit in
with. One of those is the Church and the other is a group of people who
have the same disabilities that I do. I have found a great fit with
these two groups - your groups of course would be different. These
people have kept me housed and fed and brought me things I needed when I
was sick and an incredible myriad of other things. I have been able to
support them when they needed it and the company has been wonderful for
them and for me.

That is truly wonderful, Bridget. I'm so glad you have that. It's not
like we live in a culture that supports this kind of community, so the
fact that you have found people who are so generous and helpful is
really incredible.

Churches often seem to offer this kind of community support. I know
a woman who joined the Unitarian church several years ago. She is
disabled and has major mobility issues. When her condo was completely
flooded, and she had to move into a hotel for months while the place
was being repaired, the church members were amazingly helpful to her.
She couldn't have gotten along without them.

Joyce

--
To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name.

On Feb 15, 11:22*am, "Joy" wrote:

After my jump, my son-in-law gave me a sweatshirt. *It has pictures of me
jumping on the front and back. *Below the picture on the front it says,
"Skydivers: *The few, The brave, The insane!


I like that!

Things for my wish bucket

1. To go to Sydney- I have never flown in my life and the first flight
I'd like to take is the longest! Typical!

2. To see the Rocky Horror show live-working on that this year

3 To get a book published just so I can say I done it

4 To finally see Zappa plays Zappa- we've had tickets for the last 2
UK shows and missed both of them

5 To run a convention game

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs