If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#11
|
|||
|
|||
Mom's House Call (OT)
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in
m: jmcquown wrote: He's requesting her medical records and the goal is to reduce the number of pills she has to take every day. And he said not to worry at her age about what she eats. He told me don't worry about cholesterol and sodium levels at this point. We all had to laugh at my mom (who lived in a senior residence) because, much as she loved bacon and eggs for breakfast (which was the only really palatable offering for that meal), she'd only order them on special occasions, because she worried about raising her cholesterol levels (even though hers had always been just fine). She was close to a hundred at the time - how much longer did she think she would prolong her life by denying herself foods she enjoyed? ;-) Because in our mind's eye, we're still 25 years old. Bobble |
#12
|
|||
|
|||
Mom's House Call (OT)
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message news jmcquown wrote: MaryL wrote: The type of responses your mother gave -- incorrect date (off by 30 years!) and her insistence that she is making more trips to the kitchen than she actually does -- are often early signs of dementia. Yes, I know. My father had full blown Alzheimers. He had no idea who I was when I came here last December. The social worker from one of the home health agencies I met with (about getting someone in here to help with bathing Mom) said something that made perfect sense about my father not knowing who I am. His memories of me were from years ago. He wasn't expecting a 47 year old woman. His nick-name for me was "that big girl". I'm not big LOL But I'm bigger than he and my mother. The sad thing is my brother was just here last week. I tried to tell him then she's starting to lose some of her cognitive abilities. His comment about the 1978 thing was "at least she got the 8 right!" Um, sure, that makes it all better. He's in denial. Jill In case you've not yet noticed, Jill, men seem to have a much greater facility for that than women do. (In objective assessments of their personal appearances, too - most obese women do their best to cover up the worst of it, whereas how many males do you see mowing their lawns topless in shorts, with enormous bellies bulging over their belts?) Trouble is, they were taught that by their moms who told them how wonderful they were no matter how they looked. Moms don't do that for daughters as a rule. Jo |
#13
|
|||
|
|||
Mom's House Call (OT)
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message ... hopitus wrote: On Oct 9, 10:48 am, "jmcquown" wrote: MaryL wrote: "jmcquown" wrote in message ... So, the doctor from Senior Health Associates came out yesterday and examined Mom. First he sat and talked with me for about 30 minutes and took some notes about her overall condition. Then he examined her. A couple of things disturbed me, though. He had her walk out and sit with us in the living room and he did some cognitive tests. When he asked what year it is she said, "1978". He glanced at me, then asked her again. 1978. (sigh) She knows her street address but not the city or state she lives in. (Yet she can count backwards from 100 in increments of 7. Hell, I can't even do that!) The other thing is he asked her is how often she walks out to the kitchen. She told him she walks to the kitchen 3-4 times a day to get a snack. I was so surprised I exclaimed, "Mom! You do not!" She got mad and yelled at me for contradicting her. She doesn't walk anywhere but to the bathroom and once in a while the TV room anymore. That's it. snip The type of responses your mother gave -- incorrect date (off by 30 years!) and her insistence that she is making more trips to the kitchen than she actually does -- are often early signs of dementia. Yes, I know. My father had full blown Alzheimers. He had no idea who I was when I came here last December. The social worker from one of the home health agencies I met with (about getting someone in here to help with bathing Mom) said something that made perfect sense about my father not knowing who I am. His memories of me were from years ago. He wasn't expecting a 47 year old woman. His nick-name for me was "that big girl". I'm not big LOL But I'm bigger than he and my mother. The sad thing is my brother was just here last week. I tried to tell him then she's starting to lose some of her cognitive abilities. His comment about the 1978 thing was "at least she got the 8 right!" Um, sure, that makes it all better. He's in denial. Jill Since bro is not in charge of anything except your winged pet I see no need to be concerned re his acknowledgement of you Mom's problems, physical or otherwise. You are playing with a full deck and keep up with what's important about her. I don't like repeating myself and I know it's a yawn but AFA bro, if you haven't already, protect your assets and Mom's from him and the other one, ok? I second that! After a lifetime of trusting my relatives (since I figured they'd inherit from me, anyway) I got a very rude awakening when that (step)niece ripped me off for nearly $55,000 in savings inherited from my natural father by way of my mother. (I'm tempted to shake her up by sending her a 1099-MISC for that amount at the end of the year - I couldn't legally send the report it to the IRS, of course, but she wouldn't need to know that!) Don't be too sure. Does she theoretically owe you the money? Pretty sure you will never get it? Then 'forgive' the debt and send her the appropriate 1099. Forgiveness of debt is taxable to the one who got the money in the first place. I did get some satisfaction in filing a 1099 for an employee of one of my clients for money she got by way of embezzlement. (I'm retired and rules change. Check with your own accountant before you actually do this) Jo |
#14
|
|||
|
|||
Mom's House Call (OT)
Jofirey wrote:
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message news jmcquown wrote: MaryL wrote: The type of responses your mother gave -- incorrect date (off by 30 years!) and her insistence that she is making more trips to the kitchen than she actually does -- are often early signs of dementia. Yes, I know. My father had full blown Alzheimers. He had no idea who I was when I came here last December. The social worker from one of the home health agencies I met with (about getting someone in here to help with bathing Mom) said something that made perfect sense about my father not knowing who I am. His memories of me were from years ago. He wasn't expecting a 47 year old woman. His nick-name for me was "that big girl". I'm not big LOL But I'm bigger than he and my mother. The sad thing is my brother was just here last week. I tried to tell him then she's starting to lose some of her cognitive abilities. His comment about the 1978 thing was "at least she got the 8 right!" Um, sure, that makes it all better. He's in denial. Jill In case you've not yet noticed, Jill, men seem to have a much greater facility for that than women do. (In objective assessments of their personal appearances, too - most obese women do their best to cover up the worst of it, whereas how many males do you see mowing their lawns topless in shorts, with enormous bellies bulging over their belts?) Trouble is, they were taught that by their moms who told them how wonderful they were no matter how they looked. Moms don't do that for daughters as a rule. Jo My mother didn't tell my brother how gawd awful fat he's gotten! (He's gained at least 40-50 lbs since this year.) But she's never criticized me when I gained 10 lbs. I was still expected to be "pretty" and to marry well. (I don't want to get married again!) Funny the different expectations when it comes down to reality, eh? Jill |
#15
|
|||
|
|||
Mom's House Call (OT)
Jofirey wrote:
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in greater facility for that than women do. (In objective assessments of their personal appearances, too - most obese women do their best to cover up the worst of it, whereas how many males do you see mowing their lawns topless in shorts, with enormous bellies bulging over their belts?) Trouble is, they were taught that by their moms who told them how wonderful they were no matter how they looked. Moms don't do that for daughters as a rule. And that's a good thing? Teaching your daughter that she is not wonderful *just as she is* is a great way to produce a woman who is chronically insecure about herself, her body and how she looks, and obsessed with trying to please and get approval. This is supposed to be good for her? Not that I'm trying to "blame the mother" for cultural values that are all around us. But parents are the primary conduits of those values - they are the ones who pass them on, from one generation to the next. So they need to make an extra effort to undo some of that damage. And Evelyn, I find your comments offensive. Substitute "dark skin" for "obese" and "enormous bellies" and think about how that sounds. And then tell me how this is any different. There is nothing "objective" about attractiveness. There may be a majority opinion, but majorities have been in favor of all kinds of stupid things, and that doesn't make them right, as you of all people well know. You can be bigoted about other people's appearance, that's certainly your prerogative. But that doesn't obligate them to hide themselves, just to make you comfortable. -- Joyce ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) |
#16
|
|||
|
|||
Dementia (was: Mom's House Call (OT))
MaryL -out-the-litter wrote:
The type of responses your mother gave -- incorrect date (off by 30 years!) and her insistence that she is making more trips to the kitchen than she actually does -- are often early signs of dementia. (That's a word I hate! This is one place where I would like a more PC term.) Mary, I'm just curious, why do you hate that word? I think it just means "loss of mental capacity", which is exactly what is happening. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't feel the way you do, I'm just wondering why. -- Joyce ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) |
#17
|
|||
|
|||
Dementia (was: Mom's House Call (OT))
wrote in message ... MaryL -out-the-litter wrote: The type of responses your mother gave -- incorrect date (off by 30 years!) and her insistence that she is making more trips to the kitchen than she actually does -- are often early signs of dementia. (That's a word I hate! This is one place where I would like a more PC term.) Mary, I'm just curious, why do you hate that word? I think it just means "loss of mental capacity", which is exactly what is happening. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't feel the way you do, I'm just wondering why. -- Joyce ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) Yes, that is what it means, and I probably overreact. It bothers me because people so often use it in a demeaning way, as if loss of mental capacity means that the person is either mentally ill (not at all the same thing) or is somehow "less worthy." One doctor infuriated me when Mother was admitted to the hospital. It was a weekend, of course, so this doctor was on call. He said, "what a waste of resources" when Mother was admitted. My mother was a wonderful woman, was a contributing member of society for many years, and yet he treated her as if she now had no value. I admit that a change of words probably would not change those inferences at all, but it is a term that often is used in a demeaning way. (In much the same way, it bothers me when someone will say something like, "I must be developing Alzheimer's." Alzheimer's is such a dreadful disease -- not what Mother had, fortunately -- that I don't see any humor at all in that type of statement.) MaryL |
#18
|
|||
|
|||
Mom's House Call (OT)
hopitus wrote:
On Oct 9, 1:30 pm, "jmcquown" wrote: hopitus wrote: On Oct 9, 10:48 am, "jmcquown" wrote: MaryL wrote: "jmcquown" wrote in message ... The sad thing is my brother was just here last week. I tried to tell him then she's starting to lose some of her cognitive abilities. His comment about the 1978 thing was "at least she got the 8 right!" Um, sure, that makes it all better. He's in denial. Jill Since bro is not in charge of anything except your winged pet I see no need to be concerned re his acknowledgement of you Mom's problems, physical or otherwise. You are playing with a full deck and keep up with what's important about her. I don't like repeating myself and I know it's a yawn but AFA bro, if you haven't already, protect your assets and Mom's from him and the other one, ok? My parents had already added him to their bank account (we're both listed as co-owners on the checking account and POD - beneficiaries - on the money market account I opened for her). But when he was here he was all up in the business about her investments. He doesn't have access to those accounts, not that the market has done anything but decline in the last month or so. He's pretty much trying to sell the house out from under her. He's already looking into replacing the floor and counters in the kitchen (with an eye on how much we can get back in return upon sale). Hello? She's not dead. You don't own the house. So cut it out! I'm doing the best I can. It ticks him off no end I have legal power of attorney Jill Your bro probably already is aware that POA ends at her demise. Hope you are. Yeah. But her will doesn't. |
#19
|
|||
|
|||
Dementia
MaryL -out-the-litter wrote:
wrote in message Mary, I'm just curious, why do you hate that word? I think it just means "loss of mental capacity", which is exactly what is happening. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't feel the way you do, I'm just wondering why. Yes, that is what it means, and I probably overreact. It bothers me because people so often use it in a demeaning way, as if loss of mental capacity means that the person is either mentally ill (not at all the same thing) or is somehow "less worthy." Thanks for explaining this, Mary. It sounds like what you really hate is the negative and disrespectful attitude toward people who are suffering from that condition. And that word has become associated with the negative attitude, so it hurts to hear the word. That makes sense to me, because the human mind is very language-oriented. The association between words and their meanings is pretty complex and not so easy to separate. So I think that when people say, "Oh, get over it, it's just a word," they're being disingenuous, or maybe just shallow and naive. What really matters here is that the word *hurts*, because someone you love was treated badly and spoken of in a demeaning way with that word. That hurt is the real impulse behind all language changes that are often called "PC". If you haven't been hurt yourself with certain language, you might not understand what's wrong with it, just like I didn't understand why you don't like the word "dementia". None of my loved ones have been demeaned with that word (yet! :-/), so I don't have that gut-wrenching feeling when I hear it. I think we should all have sympathy for people when they say that certain language hurts them, because they might have had experiences we haven't had. One doctor infuriated me when Mother was admitted to the hospital. It was a weekend, of course, so this doctor was on call. He said, "what a waste of resources" when Mother was admitted. My mother was a wonderful woman, was a contributing member of society for many years, and yet he treated her as if she now had no value. That's horrible. What an arrogant creep. Who's the waste of resources here? I admit that a change of words probably would not change those inferences at all, but it is a term that often is used in a demeaning way. It's true that changing language alone isn't enough, if you don't also change the attitude. Sometimes it's a good first step, but if it doesn't lead to attitude change, then the new term soon becomes tarnished with the old attitude, and then that word becomes hurtful, too. -- Joyce ^..^ (To email me, remove the X's from my user name.) |
#20
|
|||
|
|||
Mom's House Call (OT)
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in
news jmcquown wrote: MaryL wrote: The type of responses your mother gave -- incorrect date (off by 30 years!) and her insistence that she is making more trips to the kitchen than she actually does -- are often early signs of dementia. Yes, I know. My father had full blown Alzheimers. He had no idea who I was when I came here last December. The social worker from one of the home health agencies I met with (about getting someone in here to help with bathing Mom) said something that made perfect sense about my father not knowing who I am. His memories of me were from years ago. He wasn't expecting a 47 year old woman. His nick-name for me was "that big girl". I'm not big LOL But I'm bigger than he and my mother. The sad thing is my brother was just here last week. I tried to tell him then she's starting to lose some of her cognitive abilities. His comment about the 1978 thing was "at least she got the 8 right!" Um, sure, that makes it all better. He's in denial. Jill In case you've not yet noticed, Jill, men seem to have a much greater facility for that than women do. (In objective assessments of their personal appearances, too - most obese women do their best to cover up the worst of it, whereas how many males do you see mowing their lawns topless in shorts, with enormous bellies bulging over their belts?) More sexist garbage from evg. |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Mom's Inner Cat | GaDragonfly | Cat anecdotes | 2 | December 16th 07 05:04 AM |
she should help the blunt raindrop and call it at its house | [email protected] | Cat anecdotes | 0 | September 11th 05 03:57 PM |
it will recollect once, promise wanly, then call before the ball for the house | Kristen | Cat anecdotes | 0 | September 11th 05 03:53 PM |
Mom's Home! | Mishi | Cat anecdotes | 6 | May 29th 04 11:15 AM |
So my mom's cat seems to be doing a little better... | Bluesman | Cat health & behaviour | 10 | March 3rd 04 11:43 PM |