Bad Neighbors & Morganna Update

CatNipped, you are awesome -- you also have a gifted way with words -- I
have been thinking about how to help in this situation since I first read
this thread this a.m. and all during my 2-hour drive today till I could
finally sit down at the computer to say something. You said it beautifully.

WE CAN ALL WORK TOGETHER AND HELP GINGER-LYN HELP THIS KITTEN. If this group
puts it's mind, resources, and support behind this we can make a positive
difference for this kitty and help empower Ginger-lyn as well.

Ideas for helping the new owner agree not to declaw(sign a contract) so she
will be able to keep the kitten.

Education materials and a good speaker from a local rescue group who would
go with Ginger-lyn to present this info -
You can probably assume that the new owner is already getting attached to
this kitten and if things are presented calmly and assertively about how to
help her with kitten so that she doesn't feel like declawing is her only
solution, it may work out fine.

If she's worried about how the kitten will interact with her already
declawed cats, she can be assured probably from online examples or
testimonials about how clawed and declawed kitties can get along without any
issues. She could be taught how to trim the kitten's claws instead (a
kitten could get used to this easily). It would be important to assure this
owner that she could have a lot of support and resources to draw on to help
her -- that means providing ideas to the new owner about what to do if the
kitten does something with her claws that the owner doesn't like -- possibly
these ideas could be typed up in advance to give the owner so she has some
written guidelines to follow -- we could cull ideas from this group and/or
rescue group resources/and/or website resources towards this end.

I'd also suggest contacting all the local rescue groups in Ginger-lyn's area
and seeing a) about the above; and (b) about the possibility of doing an
exchange -- if the owner absolutely has to have a declawed cat then find a
rescue group that would be willing to take Morganna in exchange for a
declawed kitten or cat that they already are fostering.

Another idea: From personal experience, I've found that rescue groups are
very grateful for donations and I'd be willing to contribute a donation to
help sponsor Morganna to a rescue group.

Hopefully, we won't need to do this but I'd also be willing to contribute to
help "buy" Morganna back and/or to help pay towards travel expenses for
someone to go out and get Morganna.

One personal note I can tell you all: From my own personal experiences,
last year with the help and support from the right people(both the loving
positive encouragement from this newsgroup and the daily/weekly phone
positive informational phone calls, yes, from Megan and on her nickel I
might add, all through last summer, fall and winter; she has a boatload of
positive ideas to try to help resolve kitty issues. ) , I was able to draw
on strengths I didn't know I had to accomplish things I didn't know I could
do and I'm talking about the rehab of feral Tucker to his current housekitty
status as well as finding a loving home for special needs FIV+ kitty,
Pirate.

What do ya'll say, rpca'ers? Can you come up with other positive ideas?
Ginger-lyn, this is your kitty and we want to help her. Let's work toward
the good here and see what we can help do for this baby.

Thank you very much for reading this.
Christine Burel (Ginger-lyn, feel free to email me, too, if I can help.)
pictures of Tucker, Pirate, and others at
http://photos.yahoo.com/cfbureltoo






"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
OK, I can see both sides of this ensuing argument, and I have a few
suggestions that may help stem this tide and hopefully get the group back
on
track so we won't tear ourselves apart (and that wouldn't be to *anyone's*
benefit, including our furry owners).

First, Megan is right about one thing. I think Ginger-lyn needs to try
harder to either convince the fosterer to *not* declaw the kitten (with
written assurances), or get the kitten back to give to someone who is
better
suited to having a clawed housemate. That's why I posted the link to the
horribly graphic site that shows an actual declawing. I think Ginger-lyn
should print these out and use them as "ammunition" when she talks to the
fosterer about not declawing the kitten.

However, not everyone is as forthright and assertive as Megan is (or I
am).
Some people are *very* non-confrontational. [There are all kinds of
people
in this world, thank goodness, and we can't assume that everyone is just
like ourselves or will react to a situation the way we would.] It is
extremely hard, sometimes almost impossible, for someone who has a mild
demeanor to stand up for themselves or someone else. Ginger-lyn may not
be
"able" to take a stand on this issue - especially if the fosterer is a
very
assertive person (which she seems to be since she has pushed ahead so
boldly
with just taking the kitten).

I think what Ginger-lyn needs is not a "dressing down" for not being
assertive enough (this only causes an introverted person to be *more*
introverted - it does not help them to be more assertive). It's easy for
an
assertive, extroverted person to say, "Just go over there and *take* the
kitten." but, unfortunately, it's not at all easy for an introverted
person
to do. What Ginger-lyn *does* need is a "script" for what to do. A
specific set of instructions, taking into account most possible reactions
from the fosterer, so that she is "armed" with knowledge of how to handle
an
assertive personality. She also needs "hints" on how to at least seem
assertive so that she doesn't get walked on.

Being an assertive person myself, I can help by giving my advice, but even
so I can't be there to do it for her. I can only lend cyber courage and
moral support. However, if Ginger-lyn would like to know how *I* would
handle the situation, I'd be glad to share that with her. I'm sure Megan
would too. But, Megan, just saying, "Get off your ass and go get the
kitten." is not going to help the situation. All it will do is to cause
Ginger-lyn to back off from the group, retreat within herself, and erode
her
courage even more and will actually hurt the situation and cause her to be
less likely to try and get the kitten - the opposite, I'm sure, of what
you're trying to do, which is to help the kitten.

Megan, I understand your frustration, and the urgency you feel to get this
kitten into a safe situation - I feel the same way. I think declawing is
a
horrible, painful mutilation of a helpless animal and I cringe even
thinking
about it. But we need to focus on helping the kitten, and that means
giving
Ginger-lyn help in getting the kitten back or getting an assurance that
the
kitten will not be declawed. You're right in that Ginger-lyn didn't ask
for
instructions in how to get the kitten back - a shy, introverted person my
not even imagine that she could be able to do this.

If we all just take a step back, take a deep breath, and use all this
energy
(and the assertiveness we're displaying ;) we may be able to put our
heads
together and figure out a way to help Ginger-lyn and, in the process, help
the kitten too.

Ginger-lyn, if you do want advice and help in being more assertive you can
either respond to this post or send me an email (even send me your phone
number so I can call you), and I'll help you in any way I can.

Hugs,

CatNipped

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Takayuki" wrote in message
...

Hey, ya'll -- my computer illiteracy strikes again -- I did post what I hope
is a useful follow-up to CatNipped's positive thread--I'd really appreciate
ya'll reading it. It showed up below.
Thanks,
Christine

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Takayuki" wrote in message
...

Hey, ya'll -- my computer illiteracy strikes again -- I did post what I hope
is a useful follow-up to CatNipped's positive thread--I'd really appreciate
ya'll reading it. It showed up below.
Thanks,
Christine

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Takayuki" wrote in message
...

Hey, ya'll -- my computer illiteracy strikes again -- I did post what I hope
is a useful follow-up to CatNipped's positive thread--I'd really appreciate
ya'll reading it. It showed up below.
Thanks,
Christine

In article , Takayuki
wrote:



Takayuki wrote:

But to be honest, I've never been able to get offended by Megan. Her
posts are so extreme, they almost need a BW. I hope she'll stick
around longer this time, even if she ends up posting 95% flames and 5%
anecdotes.

Sorry to follow up on my own post, but I thought I might save Megan
the trouble, in case she was busy.

Tak, it really irks me when you greet me, you abhorrent and shameful
excuse for a human being. You have shown yourself to unworthy of
owning a cat. I have never seen such an irresponsible, selfish, and
coldhearted individual. I truly feel sorry for your Betty, as well as
the *millions* of cats that are put to sleep every year because of
persons like yourself.




You are a bad bad boy Taki! ;o)
Suz
Macmoosette
Thank Heavens There's Only One
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=



Waiting for inspiration. Please hold while I contemplate my navel.

|\__/|
(=':'=)
(")_(")

In article , Takayuki
wrote:



Takayuki wrote:

But to be honest, I've never been able to get offended by Megan. Her
posts are so extreme, they almost need a BW. I hope she'll stick
around longer this time, even if she ends up posting 95% flames and 5%
anecdotes.

Sorry to follow up on my own post, but I thought I might save Megan
the trouble, in case she was busy.

Tak, it really irks me when you greet me, you abhorrent and shameful
excuse for a human being. You have shown yourself to unworthy of
owning a cat. I have never seen such an irresponsible, selfish, and
coldhearted individual. I truly feel sorry for your Betty, as well as
the *millions* of cats that are put to sleep every year because of
persons like yourself.




You are a bad bad boy Taki! ;o)
Suz
Macmoosette
Thank Heavens There's Only One
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=



Waiting for inspiration. Please hold while I contemplate my navel.

|\__/|
(=':'=)
(")_(")

In article , Takayuki
wrote:



Takayuki wrote:

But to be honest, I've never been able to get offended by Megan. Her
posts are so extreme, they almost need a BW. I hope she'll stick
around longer this time, even if she ends up posting 95% flames and 5%
anecdotes.

Sorry to follow up on my own post, but I thought I might save Megan
the trouble, in case she was busy.

Tak, it really irks me when you greet me, you abhorrent and shameful
excuse for a human being. You have shown yourself to unworthy of
owning a cat. I have never seen such an irresponsible, selfish, and
coldhearted individual. I truly feel sorry for your Betty, as well as
the *millions* of cats that are put to sleep every year because of
persons like yourself.




You are a bad bad boy Taki! ;o)
Suz
Macmoosette
Thank Heavens There's Only One
=^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^=



Waiting for inspiration. Please hold while I contemplate my navel.

|\__/|
(=':'=)
(")_(")

"Christine Burel" wrote in message
...

One personal note I can tell you all: From my own personal experiences,
last year with the help and support from the right people(both the loving
positive encouragement from this newsgroup and the daily/weekly phone
positive informational phone calls, yes, from Megan and on her nickel I
might add, all through last summer, fall and winter; she has a boatload of
positive ideas to try to help resolve kitty issues. ) , I was able to draw
on strengths I didn't know I had to accomplish things I didn't know I
could
do and I'm talking about the rehab of feral Tucker to his current
housekitty
status as well as finding a loving home for special needs FIV+ kitty,
Pirate.

What do ya'll say, rpca'ers? Can you come up with other positive ideas?
Ginger-lyn, this is your kitty and we want to help her. Let's work toward
the good here and see what we can help do for this baby.

Thank you very much for reading this.
Christine Burel (Ginger-lyn, feel free to email me, too, if I can help.)
pictures of Tucker, Pirate, and others at
http://photos.yahoo.com/cfbureltoo

Thank you Christine, this is what I was hoping for. You had some great
suggestions for Ginger-lyn. I'm sure Megan does too. I can understand
feeling a bit impatient with people who aren't assertive. I get impatient
*for* them more than with them - but the reaction looks the same. I'd like
to be able to jump up and fight all their battles for them because I so love
a good fight ;, but you just can't do that in real life.

Life experience (being older than dirt) is what made me realize that pushing
someone to do what I want them to do, in the *way* I want them to do it,
usually has just the opposite effect. Also, I've worked for big oil
companies for most of my life (ducking ;), and the one thing they did right
was to teach their employees "team building" skills.

I went through the Myers-Briggs testing several times. I'm an ENTP for
those of you who know what that means, but if you do you probably guessed
that already from my posts. ENTP stands for "Extrovert, iNtuitive,
Thinking, Perceptive". Basically that means I'm a pushy bit*h! ; No,
really, it means I am outgoing, forthright, logical (to the detriment of my
"feeling" side) and learn best through perceived experience. The easiest
way to "reach" me is to state something very logically, with very specific
examples, and show how that logical chain will acheive the desired results.

My "opposite" would be a person who is ISFJ ("Introvert, Sensing, Feeling,
Judging"). An ISFJ person is more inward-looking, looks at the world more
through their feelings, is very sensitive, and judges a situation on how it
makes them or others feel. The easiest way to "reach" an ISFJ person is to
appeal to their feelings, make them see a situation from an emotional point
of view, or show them how something will make someone else feel.

These two opposites often butt heads and can't seem to get through to each
other, even if the same outcome is desired by both.

I've found that the most efficient way to interact with other people is to
observe them and listen to how they speak (or read how they write). From
this you can usually tell what "type" of personality you are dealing with.
Then it's a matter of putting things in a way that makes the most sense to
them. If you try to push your way of looking at a situation at someone, you
will "lose" them almost immediately and have no further hope of persuading
them to you point of view.

When the two opposites learn how to work together they make an unbeatable
team - able to look at a situation from *all* sides and then to create the
ideal solution to any problem. That's what I'm hoping we'll be able to do
here.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

Hugs,

CatNipped

"Christine Burel" wrote in message
...

One personal note I can tell you all: From my own personal experiences,
last year with the help and support from the right people(both the loving
positive encouragement from this newsgroup and the daily/weekly phone
positive informational phone calls, yes, from Megan and on her nickel I
might add, all through last summer, fall and winter; she has a boatload of
positive ideas to try to help resolve kitty issues. ) , I was able to draw
on strengths I didn't know I had to accomplish things I didn't know I
could
do and I'm talking about the rehab of feral Tucker to his current
housekitty
status as well as finding a loving home for special needs FIV+ kitty,
Pirate.

What do ya'll say, rpca'ers? Can you come up with other positive ideas?
Ginger-lyn, this is your kitty and we want to help her. Let's work toward
the good here and see what we can help do for this baby.

Thank you very much for reading this.
Christine Burel (Ginger-lyn, feel free to email me, too, if I can help.)
pictures of Tucker, Pirate, and others at
http://photos.yahoo.com/cfbureltoo

Thank you Christine, this is what I was hoping for. You had some great
suggestions for Ginger-lyn. I'm sure Megan does too. I can understand
feeling a bit impatient with people who aren't assertive. I get impatient
*for* them more than with them - but the reaction looks the same. I'd like
to be able to jump up and fight all their battles for them because I so love
a good fight ;, but you just can't do that in real life.

Life experience (being older than dirt) is what made me realize that pushing
someone to do what I want them to do, in the *way* I want them to do it,
usually has just the opposite effect. Also, I've worked for big oil
companies for most of my life (ducking ;), and the one thing they did right
was to teach their employees "team building" skills.

I went through the Myers-Briggs testing several times. I'm an ENTP for
those of you who know what that means, but if you do you probably guessed
that already from my posts. ENTP stands for "Extrovert, iNtuitive,
Thinking, Perceptive". Basically that means I'm a pushy bit*h! ; No,
really, it means I am outgoing, forthright, logical (to the detriment of my
"feeling" side) and learn best through perceived experience. The easiest
way to "reach" me is to state something very logically, with very specific
examples, and show how that logical chain will acheive the desired results.

My "opposite" would be a person who is ISFJ ("Introvert, Sensing, Feeling,
Judging"). An ISFJ person is more inward-looking, looks at the world more
through their feelings, is very sensitive, and judges a situation on how it
makes them or others feel. The easiest way to "reach" an ISFJ person is to
appeal to their feelings, make them see a situation from an emotional point
of view, or show them how something will make someone else feel.

These two opposites often butt heads and can't seem to get through to each
other, even if the same outcome is desired by both.

I've found that the most efficient way to interact with other people is to
observe them and listen to how they speak (or read how they write). From
this you can usually tell what "type" of personality you are dealing with.
Then it's a matter of putting things in a way that makes the most sense to
them. If you try to push your way of looking at a situation at someone, you
will "lose" them almost immediately and have no further hope of persuading
them to you point of view.

When the two opposites learn how to work together they make an unbeatable
team - able to look at a situation from *all* sides and then to create the
ideal solution to any problem. That's what I'm hoping we'll be able to do
here.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

Hugs,

CatNipped

"Christine Burel" wrote in message
...

One personal note I can tell you all: From my own personal experiences,
last year with the help and support from the right people(both the loving
positive encouragement from this newsgroup and the daily/weekly phone
positive informational phone calls, yes, from Megan and on her nickel I
might add, all through last summer, fall and winter; she has a boatload of
positive ideas to try to help resolve kitty issues. ) , I was able to draw
on strengths I didn't know I had to accomplish things I didn't know I
could
do and I'm talking about the rehab of feral Tucker to his current
housekitty
status as well as finding a loving home for special needs FIV+ kitty,
Pirate.

What do ya'll say, rpca'ers? Can you come up with other positive ideas?
Ginger-lyn, this is your kitty and we want to help her. Let's work toward
the good here and see what we can help do for this baby.

Thank you very much for reading this.
Christine Burel (Ginger-lyn, feel free to email me, too, if I can help.)
pictures of Tucker, Pirate, and others at
http://photos.yahoo.com/cfbureltoo

Thank you Christine, this is what I was hoping for. You had some great
suggestions for Ginger-lyn. I'm sure Megan does too. I can understand
feeling a bit impatient with people who aren't assertive. I get impatient
*for* them more than with them - but the reaction looks the same. I'd like
to be able to jump up and fight all their battles for them because I so love
a good fight ;, but you just can't do that in real life.

Life experience (being older than dirt) is what made me realize that pushing
someone to do what I want them to do, in the *way* I want them to do it,
usually has just the opposite effect. Also, I've worked for big oil
companies for most of my life (ducking ;), and the one thing they did right
was to teach their employees "team building" skills.

I went through the Myers-Briggs testing several times. I'm an ENTP for
those of you who know what that means, but if you do you probably guessed
that already from my posts. ENTP stands for "Extrovert, iNtuitive,
Thinking, Perceptive". Basically that means I'm a pushy bit*h! ; No,
really, it means I am outgoing, forthright, logical (to the detriment of my
"feeling" side) and learn best through perceived experience. The easiest
way to "reach" me is to state something very logically, with very specific
examples, and show how that logical chain will acheive the desired results.

My "opposite" would be a person who is ISFJ ("Introvert, Sensing, Feeling,
Judging"). An ISFJ person is more inward-looking, looks at the world more
through their feelings, is very sensitive, and judges a situation on how it
makes them or others feel. The easiest way to "reach" an ISFJ person is to
appeal to their feelings, make them see a situation from an emotional point
of view, or show them how something will make someone else feel.

These two opposites often butt heads and can't seem to get through to each
other, even if the same outcome is desired by both.

I've found that the most efficient way to interact with other people is to
observe them and listen to how they speak (or read how they write). From
this you can usually tell what "type" of personality you are dealing with.
Then it's a matter of putting things in a way that makes the most sense to
them. If you try to push your way of looking at a situation at someone, you
will "lose" them almost immediately and have no further hope of persuading
them to you point of view.

When the two opposites learn how to work together they make an unbeatable
team - able to look at a situation from *all* sides and then to create the
ideal solution to any problem. That's what I'm hoping we'll be able to do
here.

Anyway, that's just my two cents.

Hugs,

CatNipped