OT Joke mature rating

Cat and Bird

A man goes into a pub with a cat under one arm and a flamingo under the
other. He goes up to the bar and orders a pint of larger. £1.80 say the
barman. "£1.80" shouts the cat - I wouldn't pay £1.80 for a pint of
larger". The man orders a shot of whiskey. That will be £3.10 says
the barman and again the cat makes a fuss - £3.10 for a whisky, that is
disgraceful.

Then the flamingo taps the man on the head and the man says "oh yes I
will have a packet and cheese and onion crisps" "That will be 36p
please" says the barman. "36 pence for a bag of crisps, I can remember
when they were only 10p!"

Eventually the barman says to man "I don't mean to be rude but I have
noticed that your cat has been complaining all the time, what's with it?

The man replies "well I was on holiday in Ireland, and I was walking
along the river bank when I heard a little voice shouting help me, save
me. When I looked over the wall there was a leprechaun stuck in the
bottom of a well. The leprechaun said that if I helped him out he would
grant me a wish"

What did you wish for? said the barman.

I asked him for a tall bird with a tight pussy replied the man.

"Matthew" wrote in message
g.com...
Cat and Bird

A man goes into a pub with a cat under one arm and a flamingo under the
other. He goes up to the bar and orders a pint of larger. £1.80 say the
barman. "£1.80" shouts the cat - I wouldn't pay £1.80 for a pint of
larger". The man orders a shot of whiskey. That will be £3.10 says
the barman and again the cat makes a fuss - £3.10 for a whisky, that is
disgraceful.

Then the flamingo taps the man on the head and the man says "oh yes I
will have a packet and cheese and onion crisps" "That will be 36p
please" says the barman. "36 pence for a bag of crisps, I can remember
when they were only 10p!"

Eventually the barman says to man "I don't mean to be rude but I have
noticed that your cat has been complaining all the time, what's with it?

The man replies "well I was on holiday in Ireland, and I was walking
along the river bank when I heard a little voice shouting help me, save
me. When I looked over the wall there was a leprechaun stuck in the
bottom of a well. The leprechaun said that if I helped him out he would
grant me a wish"

What did you wish for? said the barman.

I asked him for a tall bird with a tight pussy replied the man.



You gotta watch out for those leprechauns.

--
Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

"Matthew" wrote in message
g.com...
Cat and Bird

A man goes into a pub with a cat under one arm and a flamingo under the
other. He goes up to the bar and orders a pint of larger. £1.80 say the
barman. "£1.80" shouts the cat - I wouldn't pay £1.80 for a pint of
larger". The man orders a shot of whiskey. That will be £3.10 says
the barman and again the cat makes a fuss - £3.10 for a whisky, that is
disgraceful.

Then the flamingo taps the man on the head and the man says "oh yes I
will have a packet and cheese and onion crisps" "That will be 36p
please" says the barman. "36 pence for a bag of crisps, I can remember
when they were only 10p!"

Eventually the barman says to man "I don't mean to be rude but I have
noticed that your cat has been complaining all the time, what's with it?

The man replies "well I was on holiday in Ireland, and I was walking
along the river bank when I heard a little voice shouting help me, save
me. When I looked over the wall there was a leprechaun stuck in the
bottom of a well. The leprechaun said that if I helped him out he would
grant me a wish"

What did you wish for? said the barman.

I asked him for a tall bird with a tight pussy replied the man.


I don't get it. Why would a dude want a tall bird?? Unless this is a
foreign thingy and women are called birds somewhere???

--

·.·´¨ ¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
Laurie
((¸¸.·´ ..·´
-:¦:- ((¸¸ ·.·

*~*LiveLoveLaugh*~*

All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
~Abraham Lincoln

~*LiveLoveLaugh*~ wrote:

"Matthew" wrote in message

Cat and Bird

I don't get it. Why would a dude want a tall bird?? Unless this is a
foreign thingy and women are called birds somewhere???

You're joking, right?

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

I think this is an example of what my dear old grey headed granny used to
say "Be careful what you wish for, you might get it".
"Matthew" wrote in message
g.com...
Cat and Bird

A man goes into a pub with a cat under one arm and a flamingo under the
other. He goes up to the bar and orders a pint of larger. £1.80 say the
barman. "£1.80" shouts the cat - I wouldn't pay £1.80 for a pint of
larger". The man orders a shot of whiskey. That will be £3.10 says
the barman and again the cat makes a fuss - £3.10 for a whisky, that is
disgraceful.

Then the flamingo taps the man on the head and the man says "oh yes I
will have a packet and cheese and onion crisps" "That will be 36p
please" says the barman. "36 pence for a bag of crisps, I can remember
when they were only 10p!"

Eventually the barman says to man "I don't mean to be rude but I have
noticed that your cat has been complaining all the time, what's with it?

The man replies "well I was on holiday in Ireland, and I was walking
along the river bank when I heard a little voice shouting help me, save
me. When I looked over the wall there was a leprechaun stuck in the
bottom of a well. The leprechaun said that if I helped him out he would
grant me a wish"

What did you wish for? said the barman.

I asked him for a tall bird with a tight pussy replied the man.

~*LiveLoveLaugh*~ wrote:
"Matthew" wrote in message
g.com...
Cat and Bird

A man goes into a pub with a cat under one arm and a flamingo under the
other. He goes up to the bar and orders a pint of larger. £1.80 say the
barman. "£1.80" shouts the cat - I wouldn't pay £1.80 for a pint of
larger". The man orders a shot of whiskey. That will be £3.10 says
the barman and again the cat makes a fuss - £3.10 for a whisky, that is
disgraceful.

Then the flamingo taps the man on the head and the man says "oh yes I
will have a packet and cheese and onion crisps" "That will be 36p
please" says the barman. "36 pence for a bag of crisps, I can remember
when they were only 10p!"

Eventually the barman says to man "I don't mean to be rude but I have
noticed that your cat has been complaining all the time, what's with it?

The man replies "well I was on holiday in Ireland, and I was walking
along the river bank when I heard a little voice shouting help me, save
me. When I looked over the wall there was a leprechaun stuck in the
bottom of a well. The leprechaun said that if I helped him out he would
grant me a wish"

What did you wish for? said the barman.

I asked him for a tall bird with a tight pussy replied the man.


I don't get it. Why would a dude want a tall bird?? Unless this is a
foreign thingy and women are called birds somewhere???

You've never watched any TV programs from the BBC? The term is so
common in British English that it has even made its way to many places
this side of the "Pond"! (Considering the state of some of our US
school systems, I suppose one should be grateful our kids are halfway
literate in just plain American English, but really!)

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

~*LiveLoveLaugh*~ wrote:

I don't get it. Why would a dude want a tall bird?? Unless this is a
foreign thingy and women are called birds somewhere???

You've never watched any TV programs from the BBC? The term is so
common in British English that it has even made its way to many places
this side of the "Pond"! (Considering the state of some of our US
school systems, I suppose one should be grateful our kids are halfway
literate in just plain American English, but really!)

I remember "bird" from when I was a kid! (And that wasn't all that recent,
either.)

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

wrote in message
...
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

~*LiveLoveLaugh*~ wrote:

I don't get it. Why would a dude want a tall bird?? Unless this is a
foreign thingy and women are called birds somewhere???

You've never watched any TV programs from the BBC? The term is so
common in British English that it has even made its way to many places
this side of the "Pond"! (Considering the state of some of our US
school systems, I suppose one should be grateful our kids are halfway
literate in just plain American English, but really!)

I remember "bird" from when I was a kid! (And that wasn't all that recent,
either.)

Wasn't joking. Sorry I sound ignorant.... but not to shy to ask!!

--

·.·´¨ ¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
Laurie
((¸¸.·´ ..·´
-:¦:- ((¸¸ ·.·

*~*LiveLoveLaugh*~*

All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
~Abraham Lincoln



--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

~*LiveLoveLaugh*~ wrote:

wrote in message
...
"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

~*LiveLoveLaugh*~ wrote:

I don't get it. Why would a dude want a tall bird?? Unless this is a
foreign thingy and women are called birds somewhere???

You've never watched any TV programs from the BBC? The term is so
common in British English that it has even made its way to many places
this side of the "Pond"! (Considering the state of some of our US
school systems, I suppose one should be grateful our kids are halfway
literate in just plain American English, but really!)

I remember "bird" from when I was a kid! (And that wasn't all that recent,
either.)

Wasn't joking. Sorry I sound ignorant.... but not to shy to ask!!

Might be an age thing, rather than location. I don't know how much that
term is used today. (UK folks, can you verify?) It was very common when
I was young, in the 1960s. I heard it a lot because of the "British
Invasion" - pop music from England, starting with the Beatles and opening
a wave of British pop groups, that dominated American pop radio for several
years in the 60s.

Joyce

wrote in
:

Might be an age thing, rather than location. I don't know how much
that term is used today. (UK folks, can you verify?) It was very
common when I was young, in the 1960s. I heard it a lot because of the
"British Invasion" - pop music from England, starting with the Beatles
and opening a wave of British pop groups, that dominated American pop
radio for several years in the 60s.

I'm pretty sure I heard it from Benny Hill and Monty Python, and maybe even
Doctor Who.