Tiggy crossed the rainbow bridge

I hope I did the right thing. At the time it seemed so. I had Tigger PTS
this afternoon. She had been looking pretty sad lately but every time we'd
take her to the vet and they'd run blood work etc. they'd always tell us
that everything was within normal range considering her age (she was almost
18 1/2). Poor baby looked like she had permanent bed hair in spite of the
fact I combed her regularly. She had started having occasional 'accidents'
where she pooped in the living room. She's been pretty much sleeping her
life away for months now but lately it really struck me that the Tigger I
knew has been gone for a while. She just looked sad but it was never any
problem you could put your finger on other than her arthritis and old age.
This afternoon it seemed that she fell out of the chair. I just caught the
motion in the corner of my eye but it seemed at the least she landed harder
than usual. I went and picked her up and put her in her bed on the floor. I
figured she was trying to get down to where it was cooler and slipped. She
lay there for a while and then she lost bladder control and wet her bed and
herself. I got really concerned then because she just lay there. I went over
and picked her up but she couldn't stand, she'd just fall forward. I wiped
her off and took her into the litter box. When I set her in the litter box
she just flopped forward right onto her face. I got her out of the box and
put her on a rug that is near it. The next thing I know she has her front
claws stuck in the rug like she was holding on for dear life and her mouth
is opening and closing but no sound coming out. That was when I decided she
had had enough and I called the vet and said I thought it was time for her
to go. It's been killing me for three years watching her stumping around the
house and crying when you pick her up. It's a sad state of affairs when a
cat will come and ask for her medicine which she was doing this winter but
lately she was fighting me and not letting me give it to her. I couldn't
leave her in pain for one more day. She slipped away so very quietly in
the end .......

Wendy

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I hope I did the right thing. At the time it seemed so. I had Tigger PTS
this afternoon.

Wendy--I know it was really hard for you, but from what you wrote it was
definitely time to give her some peace. I know you will miss her. You gave
her
the greatest gift in the end, and a lifetime of love and company and care,
too.
I hope your heart heals soon.

Strange that so small mortality should leave
So large an emptiness! for as we grieve
Your little life of few but happy years
Ended for us, one who could understand
Each subtle word, and answer hand with hand
Had hardly taken greater toll of tears.

Yet why should we not mourn for as a friend?
That name was yours; if every man would spend
His life as well, earth were not hard to save.
Grant that God made your heart and brain but small.
What more has an archangel than his all?
And all God gave to you, to us you gave.
--Amelia Josephine Burr

================================

Our rooms are very still today,
The loneliness...a void;
That dented pillow mutely mourns
Companionship...destroyed!
That fluffy ball of purring fur--
My comfort--subtle teacher--
Has left a tender tolerance
For every living creature.
My traits and faults were audited
By questioning, loving eyes;
All tests of friendship were fulfilled
By trust that verified.
--Nellie Baldwin Rudser

================================

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
--Anatole France

================================

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than
our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable
to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish
memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the
necessary plan.
--Irving Townsend

================================

Mankind’s true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply
buried from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its
mercy: animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental
debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it.
--Milan Kundera

================================

I believe that the loss of a beloved companion animal is like no other
loss because our relationships with animals are like no other. Our
culture tells us that an animal companion is an engaging toy, and that
our grief over its death is alarming and ill-paced. And our culture is
just flat wrong....Animals are more to us than we know. Their
partnership with us is a holy one that endures across a lifetime and
possibly beyond.
--Susan Chernak McElroy

================================

I shall walk in the sun alone
Whose golden light you loved:
I shall sleep alone
And, stirring, touch an empty place:
I shall write uninterrupted
(Would that your gentle paw
Could stay my moving pen just once again!).

I shall see beauty
But none to match your living grace:
I shall hear music
But not so sweet as the droning song
With which you loved me.

I shall fill my days
But I shall not, cannot forget:
Sleep soft, dear friend,
For while I live you shall not die.
--Michael Joseph

================================

Comrades of our past were they,
Of that unreturning day.
Changed and aging, they and we
Dwelt, it seemed, in sympathy.
Alway from their presence broke
Somewhat which remembrance woke
Of the loved, the lost, the young--
Yet they died, and died unsung....

Fare thee well, companion dear!
Fare for ever well, nor fear,
Tiny though thou art, to stray
Down the uncompanion'd way!
We without thee, little friend,
Many years have not to spend;
What are left, will hardly be
Better than we spent with thee.
--Matthew Arnold

================================

THERE IS A NEW STAR SHINING IN THE SKY TONIGHT...
by Sarah Hartwell

There is an old belief that the stars shining in the night sky are the
spirits of those who have died. They have shed their earthly bodies and
exchanged them for bodies made of light; thousands upon thousands of our
dear departed friends all promoted to glory in the night sky. There is
another saying that the brightest flame burns the shortest.

My friend, you were the brightest star in my own universe. While I burn
on, my flame dimmed by grief and despair at your passing, the stars are
watching me. They are too far away for me to touch, just as you have
gone somewhere I cannot follow until my own star-time comes. They
cannot be held close for comfort, just as I can no longer hold you
close, though I held you close to comfort you in your final hours. We
were together for such a short time, but the stars will burn forever.

One day I will grow tired of this earthbound body, my own star-time will
come and my spirit will soar into the sky to burn with all those friends
who have gone before me. On the inky cloth of space we will be reunited
in constellations of joy. Until then, my flame burns low and dim and
cold without you. Through my tears I look upwards to see if you are
watching me and what do I see?

There is a new star shining in the sky tonight.

================================

LIVING LOVE (THE FOURTH DAY)
by Martin Scot Kosins

If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will
always remember...

The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your
young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You
may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in
finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just
chosen that silly-looking mutt in a shelter--simply because something in
its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home,
and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front
room--and when you feel it brush against you for the first time--it
instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many
years to come.

The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be
a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising
instant, you will look at your long-time friend and see age where you
once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw
energy. And you will see sleep where you once saw activity. So you
will begin to adjust your friend's diet--and you may add a pill or two
to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself,
which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy
feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.

And on this day--if your friend and God have not decided for you, then
you will be faced with making a decision of your own--on behalf of your
lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But
whichever way your friend eventually leaves you--you will feel as alone
as a single star in the dark night. If you are wise, you will let the
tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical,
you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be
able to understand your grief, or comfort you. But if you are true to
the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you
may find that a soul--a bit smaller in size than your own--seems to walk
with you, at times, during the lonely days to come. And at moments when
you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel
something brush against your leg--very very lightly. And looking down
at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lay--you
will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely
be painful, and leave an ache in your heart. As time passes the ache
will come and go as it has a life of its own. You will both reject it
and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will
depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it
will still be an ache.

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when--along with the
memory of your pet--and piercing through the heaviness in your
heart--there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will
be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have
loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love--like
the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted,
this love will remain and grow--and be there for us to remember. It is
a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go.
And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a love
which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our
beloved pets--it is a love that we will always possess.

================================

================================

Since you have gone the sun has left the sky,
No breezes blow,
No birds sing
To ease the aching vacuum in my heart.
I shall not forget your gentle ways;
No judgements made,
No difficult demands,
No needs save one,
To share your life with mine.
Now kind, uncomprehending people say,
"Cheer up, you'll love another pet some day."
--Hilda Lunn

================================

Pet was never mourned as you,
Purrer of the spotless hue,
Plumy tail, and wistful gaze
While you humoured our queer ways,
Or outshrilled your morning call
Up the stairs and through the hall--
Foot suspended in its fall--
While, expectant, you would stand
Arched, to meet the stroking hand;
Till your way you chose to wend
Yonder, to your tragic end.

Never another pet for me!
Let your place all vacant be;
Better blankness day by day
Than companion torn away.
Better bid her memory fade,
Better blot each mark she made,
Selfishly escape distress
By contrived forgetfulness,
Than preserve her prints to make
Every morn and eve an ache.

From the chair whereon she sat
Sweep her fur, nor wince thereat;
Rake her little pathways out
Mid the bushes roundabout;
Smooth away her talons' mark
From the claw-worn pine-tree bark,
Where she climbed as dusk embrowned,
Waiting us who loitered round.

Strange it is this speechless thing
Subject to our mastering,
Subject for her life and food
To our gift, and time, and mood;
Timid pensioner of us Powers,
Her existence ruled by ours,
Should--by crossing at a breath
Into safe and shielded death,
By the merely taking hence
Of her insignificance--
Loom as largened to the sense,
Shape as part, above man's will,
Of the Imperturbable.

As a prisoner, flight debarred,
Exercising in a yard,
Still retain I, troubled, shaken,
Mean estate, by her forsaken;
And this home, which scarcely took
Impress from her little look,
By her faring to the Dim
Grows all eloquent of her.

Housemate, I can think you still
Bounding to the window-sill,
Over which I vaguely see
Your small mound beneath the tree,
Showing in the autumn shade
That you moulder where you played.
--Thomas Hardy

================================

When humans die, they make a will
To leave their homes, and all they
Have to those they love.
I too would make a will, if I could write.
To some poor, wistful, lonely stray
I'd leave my happy home,
My dish, my cozy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy,
The well-loved lap,
The gently stroking hand,
The loving voice,
The place I made in someone's heart,
The love, that at the last
Could help me to a peaceful, painless end
Held in loving arms.
If I should die,
Oh! Do not say:
"No more a pet I'll have
To grieve me by its loss."
Seek out some lonely, unloved cat
And give my place to him.
This is my legacy,
The love I leave behind,
'Tis all I have to give.
--Margaret Trowton

================================

Is Heaven all you asked of it,
O little cat? Did Peter fit
A halo for your graceless head?
Is there a quilt for your special bed,
And a bowl of cream just out of reach
Of your thieving paw? Or do They teach
You not to steal in paradise?
Does the flapping of Their wings entice?
Do you scamper and swing on a golden fence,
Or are They teaching you reverence?
And are there really golden thrones
Up there? Or do the Mighty Ones
Have nice fat chairs that you can claw
And tear and snag with an impious paw?
And do the angels understand
That a little cat in a lonely land
Still longs for a kiss and a friendly cuff?

Celestial joys are not enough.
Please, some small saint in shining white,
Hold her close in your arms tonight.
--Bianca Bradbury

================================

Dancing ribbons pushed by time
Float through an old kitten's dreams.
She chases them into eternity,
And catches them,
As they change into angels' wings.
--Daryl Douglas Foyer

================================

CHOICES
by Anne Kolaczyk

The little orange boy stopped. Behind him, kitties were playing,
chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like
so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the
pond's water, he could see his mommy. And she was crying.

He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work,
he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's
image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.

"Is something wrong?"

The little orange boy turned around. A lady was standing at the edge of
the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The little orange boy
sighed and walked out of the water. "There's been a mistake," he said.
"I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the water. It was
starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back. "I'm
just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't
supposed to come here yet."

The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy
climbed into her lap. It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good.
When she started to pet him and scratch under his chin like he liked,
he started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it. "I'm
afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your mommy
knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said.

The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But
she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And Daddy too."

"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."

"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had
ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was
sleeping. All he had heard them talk about was how cute he was or how
fast he was or how big he was getting.

"No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose tears."

"No, they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to cry?

The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him
feel safe and loved and warm--but he still worried about his mommy.
"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.

The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around.

Cats--Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and
Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and Obie.

Dogs too--Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even a lizard
named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky and a hamster named
Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.

She smiled at them and began:

********************************************

A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They
were lonesome and asked the angel to help them.

The angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first
window at all sorts of things--dolls and stuffed animals and cars and
toys and sporting events.

"Here are things you can love," the angel said. "They will keep you
from being lonesome."

"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."

"You have chosen Pleasure," the angel told them.

But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love them."

The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out
at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said.
"They will know you love them."

So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have
chosen Satisfaction," the angel said.

Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some
just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came
back to the Angel in Charge.

"They know we love them," they told the angel. "But they don't love us
back. We want to be loved in return."

So the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of
people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are people for you to
love," the angel told them. So the Loving Ones hurried off to find
other people to love. "You have chosen Commitment," the angel said.

But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped
loving us and left. They broke our hearts."

The angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will
have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window off to one side
and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens
and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other
Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.

But the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy
Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system operations."

"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Would they love us back?" another asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked.

"No," the angel admitted. "They will love you forever."

"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.

But the angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them.
"You will have to feed these animals."

"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.

"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."

"We don't care."

The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the Pets were
and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the
animals' eyes.

"They were not programmed right," the angel said. "We can't offer a
warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems
malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."

But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little
bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought
they would burst. "We will take our chances," they said.

"You do not understand." The angel tried one more time. "They are so
dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to
outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."

The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That
is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."

The angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen
Tears," he whispered.

********************************************

"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties. "And so each mommy and
daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one
day it will leave them and they will cry."

The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.

"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."

"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the
edge of the pond. His mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will
she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.

She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing
how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made
them special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her
fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water
here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and
petting and shared love. And the promise of love once again. As your
mommy cries, she is healing.

"In time, she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of
you. And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."

"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said.

The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love
again. That is all she will think about." She picked up Big Boy and
Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she liked.

"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"

The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready
to leave his mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?"

The kind lady nodded. "You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks
at. You'll be in the purr of every cat she pets. And late at night,
when she's fast asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you
both will feel at peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow
to tell her you're safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come."

"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look
at his mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew
she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.

"I love you, Mommy," he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced
over at the others, running and playing and laughing with the
butterflies. "Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be
around, I promise."

Then he turned and raced after the others.

================================

Grieve not,
nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you...
I loved you so--
'twas Heaven here with you.
--Isla Paschal Richardson

================================

Farewell, my friends, yet not farewell,
Where I go you too shall dwell.
I am gone before your face,
A moment's time, a little space.
When you come where I have stepped,
You will wonder why you wept.
--Edwin Arnold

================================

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room,
I am the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
--Mary K. Frye

================================

THE JOURNEY
by Crystal Ward Kent

When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a journey--a journey that
will bring you more love and devotion than you have ever known, yet also
test your strength and courage.

If you allow, the journey will teach you many things, about life, about
yourself, and most of all, about love. You will come away changed
forever, for one soul cannot touch another without leaving its mark.

Along the way, you will learn much about savoring life's simple
pleasures--jumping in leaves, snoozing in the sun, the joys of puddles,
and even the satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears.

If you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to truly
experience every element, for no rock, leaf, or log will go unexamined,
no rustling bush will be overlooked, and even the very air will be
inhaled, pondered, and noted as being full of valuable information.
Your pace may be slower except when heading home to the food dish--but
you will become a better naturalist, having been taught by an expert in
the field. Too many times we hike on automatic pilot, our goal being to
complete the trail rather than enjoy the journey. We miss the
details--the colorful mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in the
old maple snag, the hawk feather caught on a twig. Once we walk as a
dog does, we discover a whole new world. We stop; we browse the
landscape, we kick over leaves, peek in tree holes, look up, down, all
around. And we learn what any dog knows: that nature has created a
marvelously complex world that is full of surprises, that each cycle of
the seasons bring ever changing wonders, each day an essence all its own.

Even from indoors you will find yourself more attuned to the world
around you. You will find yourself watching summer insects collecting
on a screen or noting the flick and flash of fireflies through the dark.
You will stop to observe the swirling dance of windblown leaves, or
sniff the air after a rain. It does not matter that there is no
objective in this; the point is in the doing, in not letting life's most
important details slip by.

You will find yourself doing silly things that your pet-less friends
might not understand: spending thirty minutes in the grocery aisle
looking for the cat food brand your feline must have, buying dog
birthday treats, or driving around the block an extra time because your
pet enjoys the ride. You will roll in the snow, wrestle with chewy
toys, bounce little rubber balls till your eyes cross, and even run
around the house trailing your bathrobe tie--with a cat in hot
pursuit--all in the name of love.

Your house will become muddier and hairier. You will wear less dark
clothing and buy more lint rollers. You may find dog biscuits in your
pocket or purse, and feel the need to explain that an old plastic
shopping bag adorns your living room rug because your cat loves the
crinkly sound.

You will learn the true measure of love--the steadfast, undying kind
that says, "It doesn't matter where we are or what we do, or how life
treats us as long as we are together." Respect this always. It is the
most precious gift any living soul can give another. You will not find
it often among the human race (so true!). And you will learn humility.
The look in my dog's eyes often made me feel ashamed. Such joy and love
at my presence. She saw not some flawed human who could be cross and
stubborn, moody or rude, but only her wonderful companion. Or maybe she
saw those things and dismissed them as mere human foibles, not worth
considering, and so chose to love me anyway.

If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey is done, you will
be not just a better person, but the person your pet always knew you to
be, the one they were proud to call beloved friend.

I must caution you that this journey is not without pain. Like all
paths of true love, the pain is part of loving. For as surely as the
sun sets, one day your dear animal companion will follow a trail you
cannot yet go down. And you will have to find the strength and love to
let them go. A pet's time on earth is far too short--especially for
those that love them. We borrow them, really, just for a while, and
during these brief years they are generous enough to give us all their
love, every inch of their spirit and heart, until one day there is
nothing left. The cat that only yesterday was a kitten is all too soon
old and frail and sleeping in the sun. The young pup of boundless
energy wakes up stiff and lame, the muzzle now gray. Deep down we
somehow always knew that this journey would end. We knew that if we
gave our hearts they would be broken.

But give them we must for it is all they ask in return. When the time
comes, and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one
final gift and let them run on ahead--young and whole once more.
"Godspeed, good friend," we say, until our journey comes full circle and
our paths cross again.

================================

Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.
--adapted from Gaelic runes

================================

Aionía aftís e mnéme--May her memory be eternal.
--from the Eastern Orthodox requiem service

================================

Warm summer sun
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind
Blow softly here,
Green sod above
Lie light, lie light--
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.
--Robert Richardson, adapted from his poem "Annette" in _Willow and
Wattle_ (1893) by Samuel Langhorne Clemens (Mark Twain) as the epitaph
for his daughter, Olivia Susan Clemens


Take care,
Nicholas

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I hope I did the right thing. At the time it seemed so. I had Tigger PTS
this afternoon. She had been looking pretty sad lately but every time we'd
take her to the vet and they'd run blood work etc. they'd always tell us
that everything was within normal range considering her age (she was
almost
18 1/2). Poor baby looked like she had permanent bed hair in spite of the
fact I combed her regularly. She had started having occasional 'accidents'
where she pooped in the living room. She's been pretty much sleeping her
life away for months now but lately it really struck me that the Tigger I
knew has been gone for a while. She just looked sad but it was never any
problem you could put your finger on other than her arthritis and old age.
This afternoon it seemed that she fell out of the chair. I just caught the
motion in the corner of my eye but it seemed at the least she landed
harder
than usual. I went and picked her up and put her in her bed on the floor.
I
figured she was trying to get down to where it was cooler and slipped. She
lay there for a while and then she lost bladder control and wet her bed
and
herself. I got really concerned then because she just lay there. I went
over
and picked her up but she couldn't stand, she'd just fall forward. I wiped
her off and took her into the litter box. When I set her in the litter box
she just flopped forward right onto her face. I got her out of the box and
put her on a rug that is near it. The next thing I know she has her front
claws stuck in the rug like she was holding on for dear life and her mouth
is opening and closing but no sound coming out. That was when I decided
she
had had enough and I called the vet and said I thought it was time for her
to go. It's been killing me for three years watching her stumping around
the
house and crying when you pick her up. It's a sad state of affairs when a
cat will come and ask for her medicine which she was doing this winter but
lately she was fighting me and not letting me give it to her. I couldn't
leave her in pain for one more day. She slipped away so very quietly in
the end .......

Wendy

***I'm so sorry, Wendy. You really did what you needed to do. It sounds like
she had a stroke, which is exactly what happened to my dear Blue boy. Sad.
You have my heartfelt condolences.

ML

I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy to let go.

S.

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I hope I did the right thing. At the time it seemed so. I had Tigger PTS
this afternoon. She had been looking pretty sad lately but every time we'd
take her to the vet and they'd run blood work etc. they'd always tell us
that everything was within normal range considering her age (she was
almost
18 1/2). Poor baby looked like she had permanent bed hair in spite of the
fact I combed her regularly. She had started having occasional 'accidents'
where she pooped in the living room. She's been pretty much sleeping her
life away for months now but lately it really struck me that the Tigger I
knew has been gone for a while. She just looked sad but it was never any
problem you could put your finger on other than her arthritis and old age.
This afternoon it seemed that she fell out of the chair. I just caught the
motion in the corner of my eye but it seemed at the least she landed
harder
than usual. I went and picked her up and put her in her bed on the floor.
I
figured she was trying to get down to where it was cooler and slipped. She
lay there for a while and then she lost bladder control and wet her bed
and
herself. I got really concerned then because she just lay there. I went
over
and picked her up but she couldn't stand, she'd just fall forward. I wiped
her off and took her into the litter box. When I set her in the litter box
she just flopped forward right onto her face. I got her out of the box and
put her on a rug that is near it. The next thing I know she has her front
claws stuck in the rug like she was holding on for dear life and her mouth
is opening and closing but no sound coming out. That was when I decided
she
had had enough and I called the vet and said I thought it was time for her
to go. It's been killing me for three years watching her stumping around
the
house and crying when you pick her up. It's a sad state of affairs when a
cat will come and ask for her medicine which she was doing this winter but
lately she was fighting me and not letting me give it to her. I couldn't
leave her in pain for one more day. She slipped away so very quietly in
the end .......

Wendy

Wendy, you did the right thing. I have had to face this decision in
the past, and it is one of the hardest decisions we have to make -- but
it has to be done for the sake of these wonderful cats that have
provided so much pleasure for us and that look to us for their care.
You gave a final gift of love so Tigger would not have to suffer any
longer.

MaryL

I'm so very sorry to hear this. It does, indeed, sound like it was the
kindest thing to do. My condolences.

Karen

My heartfelt sympathies to you Wendy.


Marcie

What lovely poems. May they comfort Wendy as she grieves the loss of her old
friend. We read that one that ends, "I am not there...I did not die" when we
scattered my sister's ashes @ the Marin headlands just on far side of G.Gate
Bridge.....


"Noon Cat Nick" wrote in message
...
Strange that so small mortality should leave
So large an emptiness! for as we grieve
Your little life of few but happy years
Ended for us, one who could understand
Each subtle word, and answer hand with hand
Had hardly taken greater toll of tears.

Yet why should we not mourn for as a friend?
That name was yours; if every man would spend
His life as well, earth were not hard to save.
Grant that God made your heart and brain but small.
What more has an archangel than his all?
And all God gave to you, to us you gave.
--Amelia Josephine Burr

================================

Our rooms are very still today,
The loneliness...a void;
That dented pillow mutely mourns
Companionship...destroyed!
That fluffy ball of purring fur--
My comfort--subtle teacher--
Has left a tender tolerance
For every living creature.
My traits and faults were audited
By questioning, loving eyes;
All tests of friendship were fulfilled
By trust that verified.
--Nellie Baldwin Rudser

================================

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
--Anatole France

================================

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than
our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable
to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish
memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the
necessary plan.
--Irving Townsend

================================

Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply
buried from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its
mercy: animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental
debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it.
--Milan Kundera

================================

I believe that the loss of a beloved companion animal is like no other
loss because our relationships with animals are like no other. Our
culture tells us that an animal companion is an engaging toy, and that
our grief over its death is alarming and ill-paced. And our culture is
just flat wrong....Animals are more to us than we know. Their
partnership with us is a holy one that endures across a lifetime and
possibly beyond.
--Susan Chernak McElroy

================================

I shall walk in the sun alone
Whose golden light you loved:
I shall sleep alone
And, stirring, touch an empty place:
I shall write uninterrupted
(Would that your gentle paw
Could stay my moving pen just once again!).

I shall see beauty
But none to match your living grace:
I shall hear music
But not so sweet as the droning song
With which you loved me.

I shall fill my days
But I shall not, cannot forget:
Sleep soft, dear friend,
For while I live you shall not die.
--Michael Joseph

================================

Comrades of our past were they,
Of that unreturning day.
Changed and aging, they and we
Dwelt, it seemed, in sympathy.
Alway from their presence broke
Somewhat which remembrance woke
Of the loved, the lost, the young--
Yet they died, and died unsung....

Fare thee well, companion dear!
Fare for ever well, nor fear,
Tiny though thou art, to stray
Down the uncompanion'd way!
We without thee, little friend,
Many years have not to spend;
What are left, will hardly be
Better than we spent with thee.
--Matthew Arnold

================================

THERE IS A NEW STAR SHINING IN THE SKY TONIGHT...
by Sarah Hartwell

There is an old belief that the stars shining in the night sky are the
spirits of those who have died. They have shed their earthly bodies and
exchanged them for bodies made of light; thousands upon thousands of our
dear departed friends all promoted to glory in the night sky. There is
another saying that the brightest flame burns the shortest.

My friend, you were the brightest star in my own universe. While I burn
on, my flame dimmed by grief and despair at your passing, the stars are
watching me. They are too far away for me to touch, just as you have
gone somewhere I cannot follow until my own star-time comes. They
cannot be held close for comfort, just as I can no longer hold you
close, though I held you close to comfort you in your final hours. We
were together for such a short time, but the stars will burn forever.

One day I will grow tired of this earthbound body, my own star-time will
come and my spirit will soar into the sky to burn with all those friends
who have gone before me. On the inky cloth of space we will be reunited
in constellations of joy. Until then, my flame burns low and dim and
cold without you. Through my tears I look upwards to see if you are
watching me and what do I see?

There is a new star shining in the sky tonight.

================================

LIVING LOVE (THE FOURTH DAY)
by Martin Scot Kosins

If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will
always remember...

The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your
young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You
may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in
finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just
chosen that silly-looking mutt in a shelter--simply because something in
its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home,
and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front
room--and when you feel it brush against you for the first time--it
instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many
years to come.

The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be
a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising
instant, you will look at your long-time friend and see age where you
once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw
energy. And you will see sleep where you once saw activity. So you
will begin to adjust your friend's diet--and you may add a pill or two
to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself,
which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy
feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.

And on this day--if your friend and God have not decided for you, then
you will be faced with making a decision of your own--on behalf of your
lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But
whichever way your friend eventually leaves you--you will feel as alone
as a single star in the dark night. If you are wise, you will let the
tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical,
you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be
able to understand your grief, or comfort you. But if you are true to
the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you
may find that a soul--a bit smaller in size than your own--seems to walk
with you, at times, during the lonely days to come. And at moments when
you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel
something brush against your leg--very very lightly. And looking down
at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lay--you
will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely
be painful, and leave an ache in your heart. As time passes the ache
will come and go as it has a life of its own. You will both reject it
and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will
depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it
will still be an ache.

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when--along with the
memory of your pet--and piercing through the heaviness in your
heart--there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will
be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have
loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love--like
the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted,
this love will remain and grow--and be there for us to remember. It is
a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go.
And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a love
which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our
beloved pets--it is a love that we will always possess.

================================

================================

Since you have gone the sun has left the sky,
No breezes blow,
No birds sing
To ease the aching vacuum in my heart.
I shall not forget your gentle ways;
No judgements made,
No difficult demands,
No needs save one,
To share your life with mine.
Now kind, uncomprehending people say,
"Cheer up, you'll love another pet some day."
--Hilda Lunn

================================

Pet was never mourned as you,
Purrer of the spotless hue,
Plumy tail, and wistful gaze
While you humoured our queer ways,
Or outshrilled your morning call
Up the stairs and through the hall--
Foot suspended in its fall--
While, expectant, you would stand
Arched, to meet the stroking hand;
Till your way you chose to wend
Yonder, to your tragic end.

Never another pet for me!
Let your place all vacant be;
Better blankness day by day
Than companion torn away.
Better bid her memory fade,
Better blot each mark she made,
Selfishly escape distress
By contrived forgetfulness,
Than preserve her prints to make
Every morn and eve an ache.

From the chair whereon she sat
Sweep her fur, nor wince thereat;
Rake her little pathways out
Mid the bushes roundabout;
Smooth away her talons' mark
From the claw-worn pine-tree bark,
Where she climbed as dusk embrowned,
Waiting us who loitered round.

Strange it is this speechless thing
Subject to our mastering,
Subject for her life and food
To our gift, and time, and mood;
Timid pensioner of us Powers,
Her existence ruled by ours,
Should--by crossing at a breath
Into safe and shielded death,
By the merely taking hence
Of her insignificance--
Loom as largened to the sense,
Shape as part, above man's will,
Of the Imperturbable.

As a prisoner, flight debarred,
Exercising in a yard,
Still retain I, troubled, shaken,
Mean estate, by her forsaken;
And this home, which scarcely took
Impress from her little look,
By her faring to the Dim
Grows all eloquent of her.

Housemate, I can think you still
Bounding to the window-sill,
Over which I vaguely see
Your small mound beneath the tree,
Showing in the autumn shade
That you moulder where you played.
--Thomas Hardy

================================

When humans die, they make a will
To leave their homes, and all they
Have to those they love.
I too would make a will, if I could write.
To some poor, wistful, lonely stray
I'd leave my happy home,
My dish, my cozy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy,
The well-loved lap,
The gently stroking hand,
The loving voice,
The place I made in someone's heart,
The love, that at the last
Could help me to a peaceful, painless end
Held in loving arms.
If I should die,
Oh! Do not say:
"No more a pet I'll have
To grieve me by its loss."
Seek out some lonely, unloved cat
And give my place to him.
This is my legacy,
The love I leave behind,
'Tis all I have to give.
--Margaret Trowton

================================

Is Heaven all you asked of it,
O little cat? Did Peter fit
A halo for your graceless head?
Is there a quilt for your special bed,
And a bowl of cream just out of reach
Of your thieving paw? Or do They teach
You not to steal in paradise?
Does the flapping of Their wings entice?
Do you scamper and swing on a golden fence,
Or are They teaching you reverence?
And are there really golden thrones
Up there? Or do the Mighty Ones
Have nice fat chairs that you can claw
And tear and snag with an impious paw?
And do the angels understand
That a little cat in a lonely land
Still longs for a kiss and a friendly cuff?

Celestial joys are not enough.
Please, some small saint in shining white,
Hold her close in your arms tonight.
--Bianca Bradbury

================================

Dancing ribbons pushed by time
Float through an old kitten's dreams.
She chases them into eternity,
And catches them,
As they change into angels' wings.
--Daryl Douglas Foyer

================================

CHOICES
by Anne Kolaczyk

The little orange boy stopped. Behind him, kitties were playing,
chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like
so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the
pond's water, he could see his mommy. And she was crying.

He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work,
he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's
image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.

"Is something wrong?"

The little orange boy turned around. A lady was standing at the edge of
the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The little orange boy
sighed and walked out of the water. "There's been a mistake," he said.
"I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the water. It was
starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back. "I'm
just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't
supposed to come here yet."

The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy
climbed into her lap. It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good.
When she started to pet him and scratch under his chin like he liked,
he started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it. "I'm
afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your mommy
knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said.

The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But
she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And Daddy too."

"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."

"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had
ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was
sleeping. All he had heard them talk about was how cute he was or how
fast he was or how big he was getting.

"No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose
tears."

"No, they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to cry?

The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him
feel safe and loved and warm--but he still worried about his mommy.
"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.

The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around.

Cats--Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and
Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and
Obie.

Dogs too--Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even a lizard
named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky and a hamster named
Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.

She smiled at them and began:

********************************************

A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They
were lonesome and asked the angel to help them.

The angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first
window at all sorts of things--dolls and stuffed animals and cars and
toys and sporting events.

"Here are things you can love," the angel said. "They will keep you
from being lonesome."

"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."

"You have chosen Pleasure," the angel told them.

But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love
them."

The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out
at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said.
"They will know you love them."

So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have
chosen Satisfaction," the angel said.

Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some
just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came
back to the Angel in Charge.

"They know we love them," they told the angel. "But they don't love us
back. We want to be loved in return."

So the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of
people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are people for you to
love," the angel told them. So the Loving Ones hurried off to find
other people to love. "You have chosen Commitment," the angel said.

But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped
loving us and left. They broke our hearts."

The angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will
have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window off to one side
and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens
and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other
Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.

But the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy
Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system operations."

"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Would they love us back?" another asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked.

"No," the angel admitted. "They will love you forever."

"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.

But the angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them.
"You will have to feed these animals."

"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.

"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."

"We don't care."

The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the Pets were
and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the
animals' eyes.

"They were not programmed right," the angel said. "We can't offer a
warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems
malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."

But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little
bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought
they would burst. "We will take our chances," they said.

"You do not understand." The angel tried one more time. "They are so
dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to
outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."

The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That
is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."

The angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen
Tears," he whispered.

********************************************

"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties. "And so each mommy and
daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one
day it will leave them and they will cry."

The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.

"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."

"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the
edge of the pond. His mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will
she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.

She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing
how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made
them special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her
fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water
here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and
petting and shared love. And the promise of love once again. As your
mommy cries, she is healing.

"In time, she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of
you. And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."

"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said.

The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love
again. That is all she will think about." She picked up Big Boy and
Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she
liked.

"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"

The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready
to leave his mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?"

The kind lady nodded. "You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks
at. You'll be in the purr of every cat she pets. And late at night,
when she's fast asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you
both will feel at peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow
to tell her you're safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come."

"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look
at his mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew
she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.

"I love you, Mommy," he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced
over at the others, running and playing and laughing with the
butterflies. "Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be
around, I promise."

Then he turned and raced after the others.

================================

Grieve not,
nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you...
I loved you so--
'twas Heaven here with you.
--Isla Paschal Richardson

================================

Farewell, my friends, yet not farewell,
Where I go you too shall dwell.
I am gone before your face,
A moment's time, a little space.
When you come where I have stepped,
You will wonder why you wept.
--Edwin Arnold

================================

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room,
I am the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
--Mary K. Frye

================================

THE JOURNEY
by Crystal Ward Kent

When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a journey--a journey that
will bring you more love and devotion than you have ever known, yet also
test your strength and courage.

If you allow, the journey will teach you many things, about life, about
yourself, and most of all, about love. You will come away changed
forever, for one soul cannot touch another without leaving its mark.

Along the way, you will learn much about savoring life's simple
pleasures--jumping in leaves, snoozing in the sun, the joys of puddles,
and even the satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears.

If you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to truly
experience every element, for no rock, leaf, or log will go unexamined,
no rustling bush will be overlooked, and even the very air will be
inhaled, pondered, and noted as being full of valuable information.
Your pace may be slower except when heading home to the food dish--but
you will become a better naturalist, having been taught by an expert in
the field. Too many times we hike on automatic pilot, our goal being to
complete the trail rather than enjoy the journey. We miss the
details--the colorful mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in the
old maple snag, the hawk feather caught on a twig. Once we walk as a
dog does, we discover a whole new world. We stop; we browse the
landscape, we kick over leaves, peek in tree holes, look up, down, all
around. And we learn what any dog knows: that nature has created a
marvelously complex world that is full of surprises, that each cycle of
the seasons bring ever changing wonders, each day an essence all its own.

Even from indoors you will find yourself more attuned to the world
around you. You will find yourself watching summer insects collecting
on a screen or noting the flick and flash of fireflies through the dark.
You will stop to observe the swirling dance of windblown leaves, or
sniff the air after a rain. It does not matter that there is no
objective in this; the point is in the doing, in not letting life's most
important details slip by.

You will find yourself doing silly things that your pet-less friends
might not understand: spending thirty minutes in the grocery aisle
looking for the cat food brand your feline must have, buying dog
birthday treats, or driving around the block an extra time because your
pet enjoys the ride. You will roll in the snow, wrestle with chewy
toys, bounce little rubber balls till your eyes cross, and even run
around the house trailing your bathrobe tie--with a cat in hot
pursuit--all in the name of love.

Your house will become muddier and hairier. You will wear less dark
clothing and buy more lint rollers. You may find dog biscuits in your
pocket or purse, and feel the need to explain that an old plastic
shopping bag adorns your living room rug because your cat loves the
crinkly sound.

You will learn the true measure of love--the steadfast, undying kind
that says, "It doesn't matter where we are or what we do, or how life
treats us as long as we are together." Respect this always. It is the
most precious gift any living soul can give another. You will not find
it often among the human race (so true!). And you will learn humility.
The look in my dog's eyes often made me feel ashamed. Such joy and love
at my presence. She saw not some flawed human who could be cross and
stubborn, moody or rude, but only her wonderful companion. Or maybe she
saw those things and dismissed them as mere human foibles, not worth
considering, and so chose to love me anyway.

If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey is done, you will
be not just a better person, but the person your pet always knew you to
be, the one they were proud to call beloved friend.

I must caution you that this journey is not without pain. Like all
paths of true love, the pain is part of loving. For as surely as the
sun sets, one day your dear animal companion will follow a trail you
cannot yet go down. And you will have to find the strength and love to
let them go. A pet's time on earth is far too short--especially for
those that love them. We borrow them, really, just for a while, and
during these brief years they are generous enough to give us all their
love, every inch of their spirit and heart, until one day there is
nothing left. The cat that only yesterday was a kitten is all too soon
old and frail and sleeping in the sun. The young pup of boundless
energy wakes up stiff and lame, the muzzle now gray. Deep down we
somehow always knew that this journey would end. We knew that if we
gave our hearts they would be broken.

But give them we must for it is all they ask in return. When the time
comes, and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one
final gift and let them run on ahead--young and whole once more.
"Godspeed, good friend," we say, until our journey comes full circle and
our paths cross again.

================================

Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.
--adapted from Gaelic runes

================================

Aionía aftís e mnéme--May her memory be eternal.
--from the Eastern Orthodox requiem service

================================

Warm summer sun
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind
Blow softly here,
Green sod above
Lie light, lie light--
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.
--Robert Richardson, adapted from his poem "Annette" in _Willow and
Wattle_ (1893) by Samuel Langhorne Clemens (Mark Twain) as the epitaph
for his daughter, Olivia Susan Clemens


Take care,
Nicholas

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I hope I did the right thing. At the time it seemed so. I had Tigger PTS
this afternoon. She had been looking pretty sad lately but every time we'd
take her to the vet and they'd run blood work etc. they'd always tell us
that everything was within normal range considering her age (she was
almost
18 1/2). Poor baby looked like she had permanent bed hair in spite of the
fact I combed her regularly. She had started having occasional 'accidents'
where she pooped in the living room. She's been pretty much sleeping her
life away for months now but lately it really struck me that the Tigger I
knew has been gone for a while. She just looked sad but it was never any
problem you could put your finger on other than her arthritis and old age.
This afternoon it seemed that she fell out of the chair. I just caught the
motion in the corner of my eye but it seemed at the least she landed
harder
than usual. I went and picked her up and put her in her bed on the floor.
I
figured she was trying to get down to where it was cooler and slipped. She
lay there for a while and then she lost bladder control and wet her bed
and
herself. I got really concerned then because she just lay there. I went
over
and picked her up but she couldn't stand, she'd just fall forward. I wiped
her off and took her into the litter box. When I set her in the litter box
she just flopped forward right onto her face. I got her out of the box and
put her on a rug that is near it. The next thing I know she has her front
claws stuck in the rug like she was holding on for dear life and her mouth
is opening and closing but no sound coming out. That was when I decided
she
had had enough and I called the vet and said I thought it was time for her
to go. It's been killing me for three years watching her stumping around
the
house and crying when you pick her up. It's a sad state of affairs when a
cat will come and ask for her medicine which she was doing this winter but
lately she was fighting me and not letting me give it to her. I couldn't
leave her in pain for one more day. She slipped away so very quietly in
the end .......


Based on your discription of her condition, I think you gave her the
greatest gift of all.

Here's a special place where I think you'll find a little comfort. I have,
many times.

http://indigo.org/rainbow/


My condolances.

Phil