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#1
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Taking Down The Tree With Mommy
In fond memory of Dave...
Cast of Characters: Sammy - 9-month-old female kitten Jessie - 5-year-old female cat Mommy - MUCH older female human Mommy walks through the sitting room, looks at the Christmas tree (bedraggled, drooping, denuded, and besieged - much worse the wear because of Sammy), and sighs. It is time to take the decorations off and let the poor tree die in peace. Mommy walks over to the settee and sits down for a few last minutes of tree-gazing. Jessie runs into the room with Sammy hot on her heels. Mommy watches in amazement as Jessie zips past the Christmas tree, making a last-minute 90 degree turn to avoid crashing into the tree. Sammy, 10 pounds heavier and kitten clumsier than Jessie, does not manage the turn and runs head first into the tree. Mommy notices Jessie sitting next to the settee and watching Mommy for a reaction. No, it couldn't be! Was Jessie deliberately trying to get Sammy in trouble? When Mommy doesn't react to Sammy crashing into the tree, Jessie runs back out of the room chased by Sammy. A few minutes later, the performance is repeated. It's true! Jessie *is* deliberately trying to get Sammy in trouble. Mommy raises an eyebrow and looks at Jessie speculatively. Hmmmmm. Mommy goes into her office and pulls out the big box that contains all the littler boxes that hold the ornaments and lights and brings it into the sitting room. Mommy unpacks the littler boxes, spreading them over the coffee table, settee and floor. Then mommy starts gently taking the ornaments off the tree and packing them into their respective boxes. After the first box is filled Mommy glances over in time to see Sammy jump over the rim of the large, now empty, box. Sammy is inside the large box for a fraction of a second when Mommy sees her levitate about three feet over the rim of the box, running in mid air like Wile E. Coyote after the roadrunner tricks him into falling off a cliff, and then scrambling out of the box. Mommy walks over and peers into the box to see Jessie sitting inside grinning in triumph. Mommy smiles to herself thinking that it's about time Sammy got back some of her own, then goes back to taking the ornaments off the tree. As Mommy sticks her hand deep into a branch to pluck off an ornament she feels five claws sinking into the soft flesh between thumb and forefinger and yells, "SAMMY! You little %$%$#! How many times have I told you to *STAY OUT OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE*!!!" Sammy smiles to herself thinking that it's about time Mommy got back some of Sammy's own. Sammy is so tickled at having "gotcha"'d Mommy that she decides to have another go at big sister Jessie. Sammy runs over to the big box and jumps inside again. Mommy hears a short sharp "MRRP" and sees Sammy levitate above the box and scramble out again. Sammy spends a few minutes circling the box. Every few rotations she pauses to bite the corner of the box and curse at Jessie. Mommy smiles to herself and thinks about how lucky tiny little 4 pound Jessie is that Sammy still thinks of her as her "big" sister. At the moment Mommy just feels grateful that Jessie is keeping Sammy occupied while Mommy takes down the Christmas tree ornaments. Mommy has almost completely filled the little boxes with ornaments and is walking back to the tree to get the last few ornaments when she sees a streak of black and grey out of the corner of her eye. Mommy turns her head to see Sammy running flat out into the sitting room. Mommy glances over at all the ornaments, neatly resting in their boxes, which are not yet lidded, all spread out over the coffee table, settee, and floor. Mommy glances back at Sammy and calculates Sammy's trajectory as ending on the settee in the middle of Mommy's beautiful glass ornaments. Time starts to slow down as Mommy begins to run an interception course. Sammy seems to float through the air in the middle of a bounding leap. Mommy's voice deepens as time slows even more. "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo," Mommy cries, running in slow motions across the sitting room floor. In her slow motion haste Mommy has failed to notice her foot landing on a box full of ornaments. As ornaments crunch under and into Mommy's foot, the box slides across the floor and Mommy begins to fall backwards. Mommy's arms are flailing wildly as time all at once speeds up to twice normal. Mommy lands on her backside with a thump as her bloody feet shoot out from under her. Mommy's head bounces up off the carpet in time for her to see Sammy landing in the middle of the settee and boxes of ornaments flying out from under her. More crunching is heard as the boxes land on top the other boxes on the floor and coffee table. Mommy feels someone watching her and looks over to see Jessie peering out over the top of the big box and grinning at her. Hmmmmm. Mommy doesn't know how, but thinks that somehow Jessie has had a hand, er, paw in this fiasco. Mommy picks her way quickly through the broken glass on the floor in order to grab up Sammy before Sammy cuts her little paws on Mommy's broken ornaments. Sammy thinks this is a fun new game Mommy has invented for her and leaps away just as Mommy leans over to grab her. Mommy, trying to avoid stepping on more ornaments, overbalances and topples over onto the boxes of unbroken ornaments that remain on the settee. More crunching ensues as Mommy sighs and bleeds a bit more. Oh well, Mommy thinks, that's fewer ornaments she has to pack away and she tries to remember how much she enjoys buying new ornaments for the tree every Christmas. Sigh. Mommy begins picking up the broken ornaments as Sammy darts back out of the room, pausing to take a swipe at Jessie's fun new box on her way out. Mommy walks over to the large box, scoops Jessie out and gently places her on the sitting room floor. Sammy comes back into the room in time to sing, "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah" at Jessie's comeuppance. Jessie runs out of the room, pausing to take a swipe at Sammy's head on her way out. Mommy places her pitifully few boxes of unbroken ornaments into the large box and walks over to the tree to start unstringing the popcorn garland. Mommy is amazed at how little popcorn is left on the string. Someone has been doing quite a bit of snacking while resting in the branches of Mommy's Christmas tree! It's no surprise that Sammy has gained more than a pound over the holidays!! Mommy wraps the store-bought garland back on its cardboard holders and begins unstringing the lights from the tree. Feeling a familiar tug, Mommy looks down to see Sammy wrestling with the dangling string of lights and quickly grabs up the strand before Sammy can cut her mouth on a broken bulb. Mommy feels another tug on the strand of lights, but this time from the direction of the tree. Hey, wait a minute, Sammy is still on the floor. Mommy peers into the tree in time to see a streak of patchy orange, white, brown and gray fur disappearing deeper into the branches. AHA! It seems that Sammy was not the only kitty availing herself of a real live tree rather than a carpet-covered imitation!! Mommy starts to shake the tree trying to get Jessie to jump down. Mommy has forgotten that the tree is sitting in a tree stand full of sappy water, covered by a cheaply red stained, furry, tree stand cover. Mommy is going to have to live with a red ring in the middle of the sitting room carpet until it is time to put the next Christmas tree over that spot. Sammy decides to get in on this fun new game and jumps into the tree to join Jessie in taunting Mommy. The tree, overburdened by a very hefty kitten, starts to topple over onto the sitting room floor. Mommy is having flashbacks of her tree trimming trauma, TTT, better known as classic post Sammy shock syndrome, as she watches the tree falling and two cats jumping to safety. Mommy looks at the tangled strands of Christmas tree lights on the red stained carpet, the toppled tree, the tangled garland that Jessie and Sammy are playing tug-o-war with, and the almost empty box of ornaments. Mommy sig hs as she struggles to detach the tree stand from the toppled tree. The shims she sawed off and placed around the trunk of the tree are jammed pretty tightly into the stand. Mommy tugs harder and says bad words. Sammy and Jessie have lost interest in the shredded garland and are sitting on the floor singing, "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah," at Mommy. Mommy grinds her teeth and tugs even harder on the tree stand. Abruptly, the stand gives way and Mommy goes flying backwards, trips over her treadmill, and falls on her backside while banging the tree stand into her forehead and splashing the remaining sappy water up her nose. Mommy flings the offending tree stand away from her, but in her anger miscalculates the strength of her toss. The metal tree stand goes flying across the sitting room and crashes into the window, breaking two of the bottom panes. The weatherman has predicted a hard freeze tonight. Sigh. Finally the half dead tree has been dragged out to the curb, the half empty box of decorations has been stored in the closet in Mommy's office, the half stained carpet has been half dried, the half heated house has been half cleaned, and the half insane Mommy has given a half hearted attempt at some peace and quiet while the two halves of the dynamic duo of Jessie and Sammy are half asleep from their efforts of helping Mommy take down the Christmas tree. Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy". Hugs, CatNipped |
#2
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CatNipped wrote:
In fond memory of Dave... Cast of Characters: Sammy - 9-month-old female kitten Jessie - 5-year-old female cat Mommy - MUCH older female human Mommy walks through the sitting room, looks at the Christmas tree (bedraggled, drooping, denuded, and besieged - much worse the wear because of Sammy), and sighs. It is time to take the decorations off and let the poor tree die in peace. Mommy walks over to the settee and sits down for a few last minutes of tree-gazing. Jessie runs into the room with Sammy hot on her heels. Mommy watches in amazement as Jessie zips past the Christmas tree, making a last-minute 90 degree turn to avoid crashing into the tree. Sammy, 10 pounds heavier and kitten clumsier than Jessie, does not manage the turn and runs head first into the tree. Mommy notices Jessie sitting next to the settee and watching Mommy for a reaction. No, it couldn't be! Was Jessie deliberately trying to get Sammy in trouble? When Mommy doesn't react to Sammy crashing into the tree, Jessie runs back out of the room chased by Sammy. A few minutes later, the performance is repeated. It's true! Jessie *is* deliberately trying to get Sammy in trouble. Mommy raises an eyebrow and looks at Jessie speculatively. Hmmmmm. Mommy goes into her office and pulls out the big box that contains all the littler boxes that hold the ornaments and lights and brings it into the sitting room. Mommy unpacks the littler boxes, spreading them over the coffee table, settee and floor. Then mommy starts gently taking the ornaments off the tree and packing them into their respective boxes. After the first box is filled Mommy glances over in time to see Sammy jump over the rim of the large, now empty, box. Sammy is inside the large box for a fraction of a second when Mommy sees her levitate about three feet over the rim of the box, running in mid air like Wile E. Coyote after the roadrunner tricks him into falling off a cliff, and then scrambling out of the box. Mommy walks over and peers into the box to see Jessie sitting inside grinning in triumph. Mommy smiles to herself thinking that it's about time Sammy got back some of her own, then goes back to taking the ornaments off the tree. As Mommy sticks her hand deep into a branch to pluck off an ornament she feels five claws sinking into the soft flesh between thumb and forefinger and yells, "SAMMY! You little %$%$#! How many times have I told you to *STAY OUT OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE*!!!" Sammy smiles to herself thinking that it's about time Mommy got back some of Sammy's own. Sammy is so tickled at having "gotcha"'d Mommy that she decides to have another go at big sister Jessie. Sammy runs over to the big box and jumps inside again. Mommy hears a short sharp "MRRP" and sees Sammy levitate above the box and scramble out again. Sammy spends a few minutes circling the box. Every few rotations she pauses to bite the corner of the box and curse at Jessie. Mommy smiles to herself and thinks about how lucky tiny little 4 pound Jessie is that Sammy still thinks of her as her "big" sister. At the moment Mommy just feels grateful that Jessie is keeping Sammy occupied while Mommy takes down the Christmas tree ornaments. Mommy has almost completely filled the little boxes with ornaments and is walking back to the tree to get the last few ornaments when she sees a streak of black and grey out of the corner of her eye. Mommy turns her head to see Sammy running flat out into the sitting room. Mommy glances over at all the ornaments, neatly resting in their boxes, which are not yet lidded, all spread out over the coffee table, settee, and floor. Mommy glances back at Sammy and calculates Sammy's trajectory as ending on the settee in the middle of Mommy's beautiful glass ornaments. Time starts to slow down as Mommy begins to run an interception course. Sammy seems to float through the air in the middle of a bounding leap. Mommy's voice deepens as time slows even more. "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo," Mommy cries, running in slow motions across the sitting room floor. In her slow motion haste Mommy has failed to notice her foot landing on a box full of ornaments. As ornaments crunch under and into Mommy's foot, the box slides across the floor and Mommy begins to fall backwards. Mommy's arms are flailing wildly as time all at once speeds up to twice normal. Mommy lands on her backside with a thump as her bloody feet shoot out from under her. Mommy's head bounces up off the carpet in time for her to see Sammy landing in the middle of the settee and boxes of ornaments flying out from under her. More crunching is heard as the boxes land on top the other boxes on the floor and coffee table. Mommy feels someone watching her and looks over to see Jessie peering out over the top of the big box and grinning at her. Hmmmmm. Mommy doesn't know how, but thinks that somehow Jessie has had a hand, er, paw in this fiasco. Mommy picks her way quickly through the broken glass on the floor in order to grab up Sammy before Sammy cuts her little paws on Mommy's broken ornaments. Sammy thinks this is a fun new game Mommy has invented for her and leaps away just as Mommy leans over to grab her. Mommy, trying to avoid stepping on more ornaments, overbalances and topples over onto the boxes of unbroken ornaments that remain on the settee. More crunching ensues as Mommy sighs and bleeds a bit more. Oh well, Mommy thinks, that's fewer ornaments she has to pack away and she tries to remember how much she enjoys buying new ornaments for the tree every Christmas. Sigh. Mommy begins picking up the broken ornaments as Sammy darts back out of the room, pausing to take a swipe at Jessie's fun new box on her way out. Mommy walks over to the large box, scoops Jessie out and gently places her on the sitting room floor. Sammy comes back into the room in time to sing, "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah" at Jessie's comeuppance. Jessie runs out of the room, pausing to take a swipe at Sammy's head on her way out. Mommy places her pitifully few boxes of unbroken ornaments into the large box and walks over to the tree to start unstringing the popcorn garland. Mommy is amazed at how little popcorn is left on the string. Someone has been doing quite a bit of snacking while resting in the branches of Mommy's Christmas tree! It's no surprise that Sammy has gained more than a pound over the holidays!! Mommy wraps the store-bought garland back on its cardboard holders and begins unstringing the lights from the tree. Feeling a familiar tug, Mommy looks down to see Sammy wrestling with the dangling string of lights and quickly grabs up the strand before Sammy can cut her mouth on a broken bulb. Mommy feels another tug on the strand of lights, but this time from the direction of the tree. Hey, wait a minute, Sammy is still on the floor. Mommy peers into the tree in time to see a streak of patchy orange, white, brown and gray fur disappearing deeper into the branches. AHA! It seems that Sammy was not the only kitty availing herself of a real live tree rather than a carpet-covered imitation!! Mommy starts to shake the tree trying to get Jessie to jump down. Mommy has forgotten that the tree is sitting in a tree stand full of sappy water, covered by a cheaply red stained, furry, tree stand cover. Mommy is going to have to live with a red ring in the middle of the sitting room carpet until it is time to put the next Christmas tree over that spot. Sammy decides to get in on this fun new game and jumps into the tree to join Jessie in taunting Mommy. The tree, overburdened by a very hefty kitten, starts to topple over onto the sitting room floor. Mommy is having flashbacks of her tree trimming trauma, TTT, better known as classic post Sammy shock syndrome, as she watches the tree falling and two cats jumping to safety. Mommy looks at the tangled strands of Christmas tree lights on the red stained carpet, the toppled tree, the tangled garland that Jessie and Sammy are playing tug-o-war with, and the almost empty box of ornaments. Mommy sig hs as she struggles to detach the tree stand from the toppled tree. The shims she sawed off and placed around the trunk of the tree are jammed pretty tightly into the stand. Mommy tugs harder and says bad words. Sammy and Jessie have lost interest in the shredded garland and are sitting on the floor singing, "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah," at Mommy. Mommy grinds her teeth and tugs even harder on the tree stand. Abruptly, the stand gives way and Mommy goes flying backwards, trips over her treadmill, and falls on her backside while banging the tree stand into her forehead and splashing the remaining sappy water up her nose. Mommy flings the offending tree stand away from her, but in her anger miscalculates the strength of her toss. The metal tree stand goes flying across the sitting room and crashes into the window, breaking two of the bottom panes. The weatherman has predicted a hard freeze tonight. Sigh. Finally the half dead tree has been dragged out to the curb, the half empty box of decorations has been stored in the closet in Mommy's office, the half stained carpet has been half dried, the half heated house has been half cleaned, and the half insane Mommy has given a half hearted attempt at some peace and quiet while the two halves of the dynamic duo of Jessie and Sammy are half asleep from their efforts of helping Mommy take down the Christmas tree. Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy". Hugs, CatNipped Oh OUCH and purrs for your bleeding feet and poor broken ornaments! And laughing at Jessie for tormenting Sammy (and yes, goading her into this stuff). Jill |
#3
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CatNipped wrote:
Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy". Ohhhh.... I can't wait for that one! Nothing like doing downward dog with a cat's butt on your face. -- Victor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam he Email me he |
#4
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Victor Martinez wrote:
CatNipped wrote: Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy". Ohhhh.... I can't wait for that one! Nothing like doing downward dog with a cat's butt on your face. Whenever my Sumo jumps up on the desk between me and the keyboard, he invites me to sniff his butt. I always grab him and say, "Let me smell that butt -- I want to make sure it's really my Sumo boy"!! I think it's funny, and he seems to think so too! (Can't help it if I'm weird.) Regards and Purrs, O J |
#5
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On Sat, 15 Jan 2005 01:53:01 GMT, "CatNipped"
yodeled: In fond memory of Dave... Cast of Characters: Sammy - 9-month-old female kitten Jessie - 5-year-old female cat Mommy - MUCH older female human (snip) Oh mercy! gasp gasp What little devils! Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com |
#6
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On Sat, 15 Jan 2005 13:10:58 GMT, Victor Martinez
yodeled: CatNipped wrote: Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy". Ohhhh.... I can't wait for that one! Nothing like doing downward dog with a cat's butt on your face. Stinky has no conception when I get on the mat, that there is the remotest possibility that I am not on the floor to play with him. Of course, he also has to show me that he does all the poses better than me, and with no practice. Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com |
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"O J" wrote in message ... Victor Martinez wrote: CatNipped wrote: Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy". Ohhhh.... I can't wait for that one! Nothing like doing downward dog with a cat's butt on your face. Whenever my Sumo jumps up on the desk between me and the keyboard, he invites me to sniff his butt. I always grab him and say, "Let me smell that butt -- I want to make sure it's really my Sumo boy"!! I think it's funny, and he seems to think so too! (Can't help it if I'm weird.) Regards and Purrs, O J Rosie used to do that. I was always telling her "I'm not you Momma. You are a big girl now and you butt is your responsibility" She was such a sweet kitten. Jo |
#9
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SNIP, a beautifully scripted adventure/comedey Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy". Hugs, CatNipped LOLOLOL, tears in my eyes as I type this... I see a comedic, kitten version of 'Diehard'.... Who do you think would play you? Are you a Kate Beckensdale type? Or are you more Charlize Theron? GODS that was sooo funny! Thanks for the best laugh of my week. -- Mathew Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat En Vino Veritas |
#10
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"Mathew Kagis" wrote in message
news:_3gGd.29135$06.7204@clgrps12... SNIP, a beautifully scripted adventure/comedey Next up, "Learning Yoga With Mommy". Hugs, CatNipped LOLOLOL, tears in my eyes as I type this... I see a comedic, kitten version of 'Diehard'.... Who do you think would play you? Are you a Kate Beckensdale type? Or are you more Charlize Theron? GODS that was sooo funny! Thanks for the best laugh of my week. -- Mathew Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat En Vino Veritas Thanks Matthew! I've been doing these stories every since Sammy claimed me as her slave. You can read them all, sequentially, at http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/Sammy.asp. Hugs, CatNipped |
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